Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

My dad and step dad want to walk me down the aisle... together???

Im extremely close to my step dad who stepped in when my dad couldn't. i am not as close to my dad but still want to be able to give him the joy of walking me down the aisle. soooo do i let them both do it?have them do it together?they aren't found of each other so input or advice would be great! thanks!

Re: My dad and step dad want to walk me down the aisle... together???

  • I think if they offered to walk you down the aisle together, and you're okay with it, then you should go with it.  A lot of people struggle with this situation because they are afraid of hurting one party or the other. If they offered, then it sounds like they are both okay with it.

    You can have both of them escort you (one on each arm -- make sure your aisle is wide enough for this), or have one walk you halfway (where the other is standing), then switch so the other walks you the last half.  There may be other options as well depending on your venue.

  • thank you! i think i may just do that!
  • I went to a wedding where both dads walked her down the aisle (one on each arm) and I thought it was very sweet.
  • I had my stepdad enter with me and walk the first half of the aisle, then hand me to my dad who escorted me the rest of the way. I initially had wanted them both to walk me all the way, but my stepdad was uncomfortable with that as he felt each man should get a bit of a spotlight moment with me and he didn't want to "take that away" from my father. Can you talk to them and see what they're comfortable with?
  • If they don't like each other, asking them both to do it together might be pouring fuel on a fire.

    I'd talk separately to each one and then see if you can come up with a solution that works for all 3 of you.  If one or both is not willing to share the duty, you might ask each father to take a separate honor-for example, one escorts you at the ceremony and you dance the father-daughter with the other, or something like that.  If even that doesn't work, I'd pick one man to be your official father for your wedding.
  • I will have to make the same decision, though in my case they get along. I'm going to have one on each arm while walking down the aisle. I'm most close with my Mom though, so my dance will be a mother-daughter :)
  • I had my father and my step-dad walk me, and it was fine.
    Praying for a miracle!
  • I am having this exact problem!!!!! I really would love my step father to walk me down bc he has been there the most but i couldnt hurt my father like that. So i might actually have my brother walk me down and then when the officient asks who gives me away i will have them both stand. Maybe have them standing at the top of the aisle to kiss me before i actually stand at the alter. Then when it comes to the father/daughter dance ill start with my dad and then half way through my step dad can ask to cut in.

    Hope you figure it out :)

  • My step daughter has this same issue. Her mom and dad were divorced when she was little and they moved out of state and the step dad has been there more for her as she lived 3 states away from us. Now she has decided to only have her step dad and has devestated her own father in the process. Her dad has been there for her as much as one can be 3 states away, it was not his choice his ex moved and he speaks to his daughter daily. We suggested that she do both or neither and she said this was her decision and that since her dad couldnt be there physically for her in life she choose the step dad.

    I tell you this story to let know know what happens when you choose one or the other vs. both or neither. She has absolutely crushed her own dad who had no choice in being there for her phsysically on a day to day basis. We almost bankrupt ourselfs going to visit her monthly and then flying her to see us as much as we could afford throughout the years. He was always a phone call away and she even moved in with us a few times.  We tried to explain this to her but unfortunately this is what she has choosen and it is now placing a huge strain on their relationship and I am sure will do so going forward. It also is causing a rift with her siblings who now don't want to be a part of the wedding sicne their dad cannot be part of this. As a consolation prize her dad get to do the father daughter dance only, we feel this is a huge slap in the face and warn others to tread with caution as the choices you make now will affect your whole relationship going forward.

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