Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Not Engaged Yet
Not Engaged Yet
New Discussion

Ideas for proposing on a budget?

BeXxxBeXxx member
10 Comments
in Not Engaged Yet
Edited: i no longer feel as if I am being forced to propose.
I no longer need ideas for proposing to my guy since I realize now that we are past that point


Hi all,
I can use some advice. I have been with my current boyfriend (on and off) for the past 5 years. Through the crazy dynamic my bf and I currently have,  it seems like I managed to put myself in the situation where he know expects *me* to propose.  Well, at least he is open about it. I've always wanted the man to propose to me but I supposse in the end it doesnt matter...as long as it gets done. And as long as he doesn't expect me to pay all the bills once we are married. For those who proposed to the man, how did you do it? I dont have a lot of money right now (just graduated from college) so would it be a bit tacky to send him an engraved card to his parents house? He's got a stable job at a great firm (thank God).
Bex
Report Reply to Post
«13

Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?

  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Wow. How about you talk to HIM about these things? "Seems" like you're supposed to proposed, "as long as he doesn't expect me to pay all the bills", sending a card in the mail? Are you just hoping he wants to marry you or do you know for sure?

    (ice rink)
    Report Reply
  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't have anytyhing to add to what paintgirl said
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:65c64f6f-bf18-4d6d-aac6-bad236ee1311">Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi all, I can use some advice. I have been with my current boyfriend (on and off) for the past 5 years. Through the crazy dynamic my bf and I currently have,  it seems like I managed to put myself in the situation where he know expects *me* to propose.  Well, at least he is open about it. I've always wanted the man to propose to me but I supposse in the end it doesnt matter...as long as it gets done. And as long as he doesn't expect me to pay all the bills once we are married. For those who proposed to the man, how did you do it? I dont have a lot of money right now (just graduated from college) so would it be a bit tacky to send him an engraved card to his parents house? He's got a stable job at a great firm (thank God). Bex
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    Why are you "expected" to propose?  It sounds like you really don't want to do that.

    Also you should make sure he doesn't "expect" you to pay all of the bills BEFORE you decide to get married.

    Just curious- you're looking for women who proposed to their BFs (a small population to begin with) so why'd you post this on NOT engaged yet?  Maybe try another board.  Or, as paint said, talk to your BF because you should really sort this out with HIM.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am not against the girl proposing, I think it's great.

    But I'm waaaay confused about how uncertain you sound about the whole thing, and how you're talking about bills and his job and stuff.

    If you're THAT concerned about money and who's making it and how bills will get paid, you should wait to get married when you're a bit more financially stable.

    I just feel like this is something that should come a bit more naturally to you. You seem totally at a loss. If you're going to do the proposing, don't you have SOME idea of what he'd like, or what's meaningful to both of you? I don't understand the card in the mail thing. Is there some fun story behind that we don't know? How would you feel if he proposed to you via mail?

    I dunno, you confuse me.... and it has nothing to do with a woman proposing.
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i know for sure  because jokingly asked him to marry me and he actually took me seriously. he was pissed when he found out I was only messing around. so now that i answered your question, will you kindly answer mine (in the originalpost). thanks.

    and to add: I was thinking of sending a card in the mail because I'm currently living in Hawaii.  I cant just pop up and say it in person now can i?
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    and just to add. I am not supporting a man so I'm not worried about getting the bills paid when we are married. that is his role ..but  he has a job (he makes more than enough for the both of us to be ok) and yes I'm at loss. I dont know how the hell a woman is suppossed to propose. I've never seen it done before. I never thought I'd be in that position. Sure, I know how he'd like me to do it (um, ask him) but I want to make it somewhat special for me at least. And no, I'mnot buying the ring in case you are wondering. He is buying the ring. I told him and he knows it and he told me he has no problem doing that..but he wants me to be the one to  actually pop the question.
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:0d1e945c-d74f-42f0-8907-140e5370540a">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I Just curious- you're looking for women who proposed to their BFs (a small population to begin with) so why'd you post this on NOT engaged yet?  Maybe try another board.  Or, as paint said, talk to your BF because you should really sort this out with HIM.
    Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]


    yeah ,I didnt really think about that but you are right. afterall, I am looking for people who are have already popped the question. And considering my situation ( I already pretty much have a yes, I'm just trying to think of a way to ask again to make it *special* ). And no, I'm not talking about it anymore with him. He doesn't care how I do it, as long as I do it but its bad enough that I'm the one who is going to ask. I'd like to make it somewhat romantic. So I dont care how he wants it done, I want to know how I could do it romantically. But yeah, I really dont belong on this part of the forums at all. Good luck. Thanks and good bye :)
    Report Reply
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Well thanks for clarifying (???). I don't remember any woman on this board who has proposed but there might be some on other boards. I've heard of it happening but don't know any woman who has. Can you wait until you see him again in person? I don't know how you'd make it special for both of you without being together. If you've joked about it before, he might think a card is a joke too. I was thinking webcam but that could seem like a spoof too. (Unless you did something like make a "date", tell him at that time to set the table, light some candles, and turn on the cam. Then send him dinner, even if it's just pizza. Have dinner together via webcam, then propose. Something along those lines...) If it's possible to wait until you see him again, maybe that would be a good plan.
    Report Reply
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Darn. I think she went away and I had a decent idea (I thought so anyway).
    Report Reply
  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:89a91293-db81-4358-b899-e574b08f6511">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Darn. I think she went away and I had a decent idea (I thought so anyway).
    Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]

    Sorry I didn't mean to scare her away, it just didn't make sense to post that here.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?:
    [QUOTE]Well thanks for clarifying (???). I don't remember any woman on this board who has proposed but there might be some on other boards. I've heard of it happening but don't know any woman who has. Can you wait until you see him again in person? I don't know how you'd make it special for both of you without being together. If you've joked about it before, he might think a card is a joke too. I was thinking webcam but that could seem like a spoof too. (Unless you did something like make a "date", tell him at that time to set the table, light some candles, and turn on the cam. Then send him dinner, even if it's just pizza. Have dinner together via webcam, then propose. Something along those lines...) If it's possible to wait until you see him again, maybe that would be a good plan.
    Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]

    thanks for the suggestions. I didnt realize how out of touch I was by simply  wanting to send a card. That's embarrassing. And I thought *he* was socially inept. Yeah I could just wait. the thing is, the whole proposal thing is sort of my thing. All he wants is me to tell him I want to be married and he'd take care of the rest. But when a couple proposes, i thought the most romantic part was when the question gets popped. It just seems to lame that years from now, i'll be looking back and talking about my engagement and all I'll have to say is, "yeah, i asked him. on the phone. he was happy untill i told him i was kidding. so i asked him again. I sent him a card and he bought the ring." that sounds so boring. i want to at least make the question part kind of special... a way to make it more memorable than what i had in mind.
    Report Reply
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I mean, a webcam candle-lit pizza-eating proposal is about as romantic as I get. I had to dig deep to come up with that! And Ana runs her off... :(

    :)
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:89a91293-db81-4358-b899-e574b08f6511">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Darn. I think she went away and I had a decent idea (I thought so anyway).
    Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]

    nope, i got it. i saw your post just when i was about to run off. and trust me, im as bewildered by my own situation as you are. Ive heard of "the new man" and sensitivity and all but even I was shocked when all of a sudden I found myself being the one expected to propose. I think I'll send the damn card with the stipulation that someone is also getting down on their knees. And I'm going to emphasize that I mean him before he expects me to be the one to do that, too. ok bye :)
    Report Reply
  • bakes218bakes218
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:2ea0538d-a77b-449e-88c6-a220bcc8e7aa">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : nope, i got it. i saw your post just when i was about to run off. and trust me, im as bewildered by my own situation as you are. Ive heard of "the new man" and sensitivity and all but even I was shocked when all of a sudden I found myself being the one expected to propose. <strong>I think I'll send the damn card with the stipulation that someone is also getting down on their knees. And I'm going to emphasize that I mean him before he expects me to be the one to do that, too. </strong>ok bye :)
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    How romantic...
    imageAnniversary
    Report Reply
  • Goldlie11Goldlie11
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so confused.  
    Report Reply
  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You are planning on seeing him again eventually, right?
    Why not wait until then to propose, why does it have to be ASAP?
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • wheatney22wheatney22
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My opinion would be to wait until you see him in person to propose. And you don't have to do anything elaborate. Cook or order dinner, get a bottle of wine or champagne, put on some music and go from there.

    You definitely want to take in his every reaction when you propose. Its a memory that'll stick with you. While my FI proposed to me (as opposed to me proposing), I still remember the look on his face and how I felt. I don't think it would have felt the same way if he did it over the phone or via webcam.

    Just a suggestion. Goodluck with whatever you decide to do.
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This cannot be real.  I just...  I cannot accept that there is someone out there like this. 

    If you do not care what he wants in a proposal, then do whatever YOU would want him to do.  Would you want to be proposed to in person or over the phone/internet?  I sure as heck wouldn't.  

    I think it is ridiculous that you are being forced to propose when you are not comfortable with the situation.  Marriage is about BOTH of you being comfortable.  I think it is selfish/immature when a man OR a woman forces the other to propose.  If you cannot talk to the person you want to marry about something that is important to you (aka the proposal,) then maybe you shouldn't be marrying that person.  Neither of you should be demanding that the other do something.  He should not be demanding that you propose.  You should not be demanding that he gets down on his knee. 


    <-- Me if my DH ever had the attitude that you or your boyfriend have.
     
    Report Reply
  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:65c64f6f-bf18-4d6d-aac6-bad236ee1311">Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi all, I can use some advice. I have been with my current boyfriend (on and off) for the past 5 years. Through the crazy dynamic my bf and I currently have,  it seems like I managed to put myself in the situation where he know expects *me* to propose.  Well, at least he is open about it. I've always wanted the man to propose to me but I supposse in the end it doesnt matter...as long as it gets done. And as long as he doesn't expect me to pay all the bills once we are married. For those who proposed to the man, how did you do it? I dont have a lot of money right now (just graduated from college) so would it be a bit tacky to send him an engraved card to his parents house? He's got a stable job at a great firm (thank God). Bex
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:38e6de38-9618-4dac-ad6e-bede0dd426fe">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]i know for sure  because jokingly asked him to marry me and he actually took me seriously. he was pissed when he found out I was only messing around. so now that i answered your question, will you kindly answer mine (in the originalpost). thanks. and to add: I was thinking of sending a card in the mail because I'm currently living in Hawaii.  I cant just pop up and say it in person now can i?
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:e986ca3c-3c18-4392-8c73-2e9ade57d51e">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]and just to add. I am not supporting a man so I'm not worried about getting the bills paid when we are married. that is his role ..but  he has a job (he makes more than enough for the both of us to be ok) and yes I'm at loss. I dont know how the hell a woman is suppossed to propose. I've never seen it done before. I never thought I'd be in that position. Sure, I know how he'd like me to do it (um, ask him) but I want to make it somewhat special for me at least. And no, I'mnot buying the ring in case you are wondering. He is buying the ring. I told him and he knows it and he told me he has no problem doing that..but he wants me to be the one to  actually pop the question.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:5876524b-180b-4ae2-b9dd-839e0fa9f291">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : yeah ,I didnt really think about that but you are right. afterall, I am looking for people who are have already popped the question. And considering my situation ( I already pretty much have a yes, I'm just trying to think of a way to ask again to make it *special* ). And no, I'm not talking about it anymore with him. He doesn't care how I do it, as long as I do it but its bad enough that I'm the one who is going to ask. I'd like to make it somewhat romantic. So I dont care how he wants it done, I want to know how I could do it romantically. But yeah, I really dont belong on this part of the forums at all. Good luck. Thanks and good bye :)
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:0f054a09-a4b1-41ab-8e6c-ca3790c8a89b">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?: thanks for the suggestions. I didnt realize how out of touch I was by simply  wanting to send a card. That's embarrassing. And I thought *he* was socially inept. Yeah I could just wait. the thing is, the whole proposal thing is sort of my thing. All he wants is me to tell him I want to be married and he'd take care of the rest. But when a couple proposes, i thought the most romantic part was when the question gets popped. It just seems to lame that years from now, i'll be looking back and talking about my engagement and all I'll have to say is, "yeah, i asked him. on the phone. he was happy untill i told him i was kidding. so i asked him again. I sent him a card and he bought the ring." that sounds so boring. i want to at least make the question part kind of special... a way to make it more memorable than what i had in mind.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:2ea0538d-a77b-449e-88c6-a220bcc8e7aa">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : nope, i got it. i saw your post just when i was about to run off. and trust me, im as bewildered by my own situation as you are. Ive heard of "the new man" and sensitivity and all but even I was shocked when all of a sudden I found myself being the one expected to propose. I think I'll send the damn card with the stipulation that someone is also getting down on their knees. And I'm going to emphasize that I mean him before he expects me to be the one to do that, too. ok bye :)
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]


    JIC for those who come around later.
    Report Reply
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Do you even WANT to propose? Your posts scream "APATHY!!"

    Don't propose if YOU don't want to. He shouldn't force you into proposing more than any girl should propose her guy into it. This should be a joint decision.

    Honestly, you seem half hearted about sending him a card to get it out of the way. Sit down with your bf and talk this out. I find your posts very odd and unnerving. Right now I would not recommend you proposing, I would advise you to really think about this.

    Someone who is entering into an engagement shouldn't sound this ambivalent about it.
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?:
    [QUOTE]This cannot be real.  I just...  I cannot accept that there is someone out there like this.  If you do not care what he wants in a proposal, then do whatever YOU would want him to do.  Would you want to be proposed to in person or over the phone/internet?  I sure as heck wouldn't.   I think it is ridiculous that you are being forced to propose when you are not comfortable with the situation.  Marriage is about BOTH of you being comfortable.  I think it is selfish/immature when a man OR a woman forces the other to propose.  If you cannot talk to the person you want to marry about something that is important to you (aka the proposal,) then maybe you shouldn't be marrying that person.  Neither of you should be demanding that the other do something.  He should not be demanding that you propose.  You should not be demanding that he gets down on his knee.  <-- Me if my DH ever had the attitude that you or your boyfriend have. 
    Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]
    If you dont want to accept its real then dont. I could care less. I came to get advice not to convince you of anything or to convince my love to anyone. What drove me to this forum to begin with was because my girlfriends were appalled by how unromantic the whole thing was. When to be truthful, I didnt even give a damn that it was unromantic. I was just thrilled to learn that the man I loved loved me enough to marry. But ever since what my friends said, I was so caught up in what is "romantic" and what wasn't... rather than being grateful for what I have (because most women wait years to get a man to agree to marry (and some arent even that lucky). i should be planning my wedding, *not* wasting time fretting over how to dramatically reask a question that was already basically asked. I'm not embarassed about how the question was popped; i'm embarassed I was stupid enough to give a damn that it wasn't as glamerous as I wanted it to be. I sound almost as bad as some of those girls who get upset because the ring wasn't big enough.
    Report Reply
  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:4dd62d93-f525-4ed1-a8ce-34a4e1944d28">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?: If you dont want to accept its real then dont. I could care less. I came to get advice not to convince you of anything or to convince my love to anyone. What drove me to this forum to begin with was because my girlfriends were appalled by how unromantic the whole thing was. When to be truthful, I didnt even give a damn that it was unromantic. I was just thrilled to learn that the man I loved loved me enough to marry. But ever since what my friends said, I was so caught up in what is "romantic" and what wasn't... rather than being grateful for what I have (because most women wait years to get a man to agree to marry (and some arent even that lucky). i should be planning my wedding, *not* wasting time fretting over how to dramatically reask a question that was already basically asked. I'm not embarassed about how the question was popped; i'm embarassed I was stupid enough to give a damn that it wasn't as glamerous as I wanted it to be. I sound almost as bad as some of those girls who get upset because the ring wasn't big enough.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]


    Why'd you just dive after mutley's post and ignore some really valid points and questions? That's the easiest way for everyone to stop taking you seriously. You started out saying you didn't care what we thought but obviously you do if you're going to rant about the responses you didn't like.
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • notquiteblushingnotquiteblushing member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wait until you see him again.  Say "will you marry me?"  Tell all your friends and family.  Change facebook status is applicable. Sealed Commence wedding planning.
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
    imageimageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    My Blog

    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:788125c8-7f49-48cc-a198-a88aab14e5f4">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : Why'd you just dive after mutley's post and ignore some really valid points and questions? That's the easiest way for everyone to stop taking you seriously. You started out saying you didn't care what we thought but obviously you do if you're going to rant about the responses you didn't like.
    Posted by Button5807[/QUOTE]


    i cant keep up with you all which is why i have to pick and choose for now.  it doesnt help that the layout on this page is awful and makes stuff hard to read...but yes, im going to see him again (in response to your question) I'll see him this summer. and please,ladies, give me a sec. to respond. ill respond to each of you promise...
    Report Reply
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:4dd62d93-f525-4ed1-a8ce-34a4e1944d28">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?: If you dont want to accept its real then dont. I could care less. I came to get advice not to convince you of anything or to convince my love to anyone. What drove me to this forum to begin with was because my girlfriends were appalled by how unromantic the whole thing was. When to be truthful, I didnt even give a damn that it was unromantic. I was just thrilled to learn that the man I loved loved me enough to marry. But ever since what my friends said, I was so caught up in what is "romantic" and what wasn't... rather than being grateful for what I have (because most women wait years to get a man to agree to marry (and some arent even that lucky). i should be planning my wedding, *not* wasting time fretting over how to dramatically reask a question that was already basically asked. I'm not embarassed about how the question was popped; i'm embarassed I was stupid enough to give a damn that it wasn't as glamerous as I wanted it to be. I sound almost as bad as some of those girls who get upset because the ring wasn't big enough.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    I am confused. You say you DIDN"T propose to him the first time. You said you were kidding. How does that turn into a proposal that wasn't romantic enough so you are doing it again? How do your friends think a "joking" proposal was not romantic enough? Am I understand this correctly??

    I'm not trying to be rude, but it just seems really odd. If you really want to propose to him I don't understand why you can't just sit down with him the next time you see him and tell him you want to marry him, not create some kind of pseudo-cutesy plan.
    Report Reply
  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:4dd62d93-f525-4ed1-a8ce-34a4e1944d28">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?: If you dont want to accept its real then dont. I could care less. I came to get advice not to convince you of anything or to convince my love to anyone. What drove me to this forum to begin with was because my girlfriends were appalled by how unromantic the whole thing was. When to be truthful, I didnt even give a damn that it was unromantic. I was just thrilled to learn that the man I loved loved me enough to marry. But ever since what my friends said, I was so caught up in what is "romantic" and what wasn't... rather than being grateful for what I have (because most women wait years to get a man to agree to marry (and some arent even that lucky). i should be planning my wedding, *not* wasting time fretting over how to dramatically reask a question that was already basically asked. I'm not embarassed about how the question was popped; i'm embarassed I was stupid enough to give a damn that it wasn't as glamerous as I wanted it to be. I sound almost as bad as some of those girls who get upset because the ring wasn't big enough.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]


    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/12/590d272c-6146-4be7-8cc0-a5beedc46925.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '590d272c-6146-4be7-8cc0-a5beedc46925', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/12/590d272c-6146-4be7-8cc0-a5beedc46925.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:65c64f6f-bf18-4d6d-aac6-bad236ee1311">Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi all, I can use some advice. I have been with my current boyfriend (on and off) for the past 5 years. <strong>Through the crazy dynamic my bf and I currently have,  it seems like I managed to put myself in the situation where he know expects *me* to propose. </strong> Well, at least he is open about it. <strong>I've always wanted the man to propose to me but I supposse in the end it doesnt matter.</strong>..as long as it gets done. And as long as he doesn't expect me to pay all the bills once we are married. For those who proposed to the man, how did you do it? I dont have a lot of money right now (just graduated from college) so would it be a bit tacky to send him an engraved card to his parents house? He's got a stable job at a great firm (thank God). Bex
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:38e6de38-9618-4dac-ad6e-bede0dd426fe">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]i know for sure  because jokingly asked him to marry me and he actually took me seriously. <strong>he was pissed when he found out I was only messing around. </strong>so now that i answered your question, will you kindly answer mine (in the originalpost). thanks. and to add: I was thinking of sending a card in the mail because I'm currently living in Hawaii.  I cant just pop up and say it in person now can i?
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:e986ca3c-3c18-4392-8c73-2e9ade57d51e">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]and just to add. I am not supporting a man so I'm not worried about getting the bills paid when we are married. <strong>that is his role </strong>..but  he has a job (he makes more than enough for the both of us to be ok) and yes I'm at loss. I<strong> dont know how the hell a woman is suppossed to propose.</strong> I've never seen it done before.<strong> I never thought I'd be in that position. Sure, I know how he'd like me to do it (um, ask him) but I want to make it somewhat special for me at least</strong>. And no, I'mnot buying the ring in case you are wondering. He is buying the ring. I told him and he knows it and he told me he has no problem doing that..<strong>but he wants me to be the one to  actually pop the question.</strong>
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:5876524b-180b-4ae2-b9dd-839e0fa9f291">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : yeah ,I didnt really think about that but you are right. afterall, I am looking for people who are have already popped the question. And considering my situation ( I already pretty much have a yes, I'm just trying to think of a way to ask again to make it *special* ). And no, I'm not talking about it anymore with him. <strong>He doesn't care how I do it, as long as I do it but its bad enough that I'm the one who is going to ask.</strong> I'd like to make it somewhat romantic. <strong>So I dont care how he wants it done, I want to know how I could do it romantically.</strong> But yeah, I really dont belong on this part of the forums at all. Good luck. Thanks and good bye :)
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:0f054a09-a4b1-41ab-8e6c-ca3790c8a89b">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?: thanks for the suggestions. I didnt realize how out of touch I was by simply  wanting to send a card. That's embarrassing. And I thought *he* was socially inept. <strong>Yeah I could just wait. the thing is, the whole proposal thing is sort of my thing. All he wants is me to tell him I want to be married and he'd take care of the rest.</strong> But when a couple proposes, i thought the most romantic part was when the question gets popped. It just seems to lame that years from now, i'll be looking back and talking about my engagement and all I'll have to say is, "yeah, i asked him. on the phone. he was happy untill i told him i was kidding. so i asked him again. I sent him a card and he bought the ring." that sounds so boring. i want to at least make the question part kind of special... a way to make it more memorable than what i had in mind.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:2ea0538d-a77b-449e-88c6-a220bcc8e7aa">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : nope, i got it. i saw your post just when i was about to run off. and trust me, im as bewildered by my own situation as you are. Ive heard of "the new man" and sensitivity and all but even I was shocked when all of a sudden I found myself being the one expected to propose. <strong>I think I'll send the damn card with the stipulation that someone is also getting down on their knees. And I'm going to emphasize that I mean him before he expects me to be the one to do that, too</strong>. ok bye :)
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]


    I bolded the parts that support what my earlier post said. 

    If you consider yourself engaged, then just plan your damn wedding already.  Don't wait to send the damn card.

    YOUR posts show that you are not comfortable proposing but you feel forced to do it.  So yes, I think that is ridiculous.  I am incredulous that this situation even exists. 
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:3a82231c-d37a-45f1-9f3e-51add85ffd1d">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you even WANT to propose? Your posts scream "APATHY!!" Don't propose if YOU don't want to. He shouldn't force you into proposing more than any girl should propose her guy into it. This should be a joint decision. Honestly, you seem half hearted about sending him a card to get it out of the way. Sit down with your bf and talk this out. I find your posts very odd and unnerving. Right now I would not recommend you proposing, I would advise you to really think about this. Someone who is entering into an engagement shouldn't sound this ambivalent about it.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    well to be honest, i'm kind of scared about marriage. i never really gave it much thought. i was never the kind to sit and dream of a wedding. I always dreamed of a career. Not that you cant have both, of course, but i just never gave married life much thought. I  figured it would eventually happen and when it did, I would probably be in my 40s. One of my aunts were when she first got married. Besidess, he didn't seem like he was thinking marriage, either.

    Then one day I was messing around, throwing movie quotes at him and he took it seriously. I felt awful. Ever since then I felt some pressure to make it up to him and marry him. not that marriage to him is bad, mind you. I do love him a lot. I dont think I'll love another man like him, but put yourself in my position..I was thrown into something I didnt quiet expect. Then to add stress to the whole thing, now I learn I'm the one expected to propose...it just totally kind of left me in shock. So I guess now I'm just trying to handle this as best as I can which unfortunately isn't very well. Now I see why he always thinks I'm messing around. Some of you did, too, and I was actually being dead serious.
    Report Reply
  • amagwireamagwire
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know one girl who proposed to her boyfriend.  She was sick.  Her now husband was making her soup and she asked, "will you marry me"? Simple and to the point.  Since you've said your b/f would buy you the ring, a proposal is completely uncessary.  You just need to sit down, have the conversation - Let's get married, OK? And go ring shopping. Done. 
    Report Reply
  • BeXxxBeXxx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:674a2e26-a5c3-4120-b741-a57e35bce266">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : In Response to Ideas for proposing on a budget? : In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : I bolded the parts that support what my earlier post said.  If you consider yourself engaged, then just plan your damn wedding already.  Don't wait to send the damn card. YOUR posts show that you are not comfortable proposing but you feel forced to do it.  So yes, I think that is ridiculous.  I am incredulous that this situation even exists. 
    Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

    oh. i thought you thought that i was just making this up for kicks. yeah, i understand why you'd be shocked. most of my friends were too.  everyone kept saying, " you cant count that as a proposal! make him propose if he wants to get married. But if you insist on asking him then for God's Sake at least do better than what you've already done." this whole thing sounds like a crazy sitcom.

    In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?:
    [QUOTE]I know one girl who proposed to her boyfriend.  She was sick.  Her now husband was making her soup and she asked, "will you marry me"? Simple and to the point.  Since you've said your b/f would buy you the ring, a proposal is completely uncessary.  You just need to sit down, have the conversation - Let's get married, OK? And go ring shopping. Done.
    Posted by amagwire[/QUOTE]

    yeah, my proposal may not have been dramatic but I sure am acting like a drama queen. and for everyone else that i may have missed, im not ignoring you. this forum has so many scripts running, its freezing up my screen and making my already slow comp even slower...
    Report Reply
  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideas-proposing-budget?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:73baa46f-25bd-4191-b4a5-abcf121f071dPost:d55e564c-11c0-42aa-9d9f-25ac367cb31d">Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideas for proposing on a budget? : well to be honest, i'm kind of scared about marriage. i never really gave it much thought. i was never the kind to sit and dream of a wedding. I always dreamed of a career. Not that you cant have both, of course, but i just never gave married life much thought. I  figured it would eventually happen and when it did, I would probably be in my 40s. One of my aunts were when she first got married. Besidess, he didn't seem like he was thinking marriage, either. Then one day I was messing around, throwing movie quotes at him and he took it seriously. I felt awful. Ever since then I felt some pressure to make it up to him and marry him. not that marriage to him is bad, mind you. I do love him a lot. I dont think I'll love another man like him, but put yourself in my position..I was thrown into something I didnt quiet expect. Then to add stress to the whole thing, now I learn I'm the one expected to propose...it just totally kind of left me in shock. So I guess now I'm just trying to handle this as best as I can which unfortunately isn't very well. Now I see why he always thinks I'm messing around. Some of you did, too, and I was actually being dead serious.
    Posted by BeXxx[/QUOTE]

    Then wait.  There is nothing saying that you have to get engaged now.  Express your fears, doubts, expectations, etc.  You can love someone with all of your heart, think he is it and still not be ready to get married.  That is normal.  It sounds like the two of you need some work on communication before bringing an engagement into the picture.

    If he does not understand where you are coming from, then I would question where he really stands.  If HE wanted to be engaged right now, HE would have proposed already.  It seems like he is using your movie quote as a way out without dealing with your actual feelings about marriage. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards