This puts things into perspective...

jorja86

But, where does he actually work? How does he have time to if he's in one state half the time, and another the rest?

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:1cf1cc84-229a-4faa-b856-9a60a0a13f3c">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, I always thought this kind of stuff only happened on tv. Then I learned from my mom that someone I've known forever, who'd been with her husband for over 30 years (their kids are 32 and 28), just learned that he has another wife and kids in the Philippines! Not surprisingly, they're getting a divorce.
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

This I can believe.  Happens a lot more than one would think.

GoldenPenguin

This might give us all a clearer picture... he's an agent for NBA/WNBA/professional basketball players overseas.

GoldenPenguin

If he was able to maintain it for almost two years, something tells me this probably wasn't the first time he had coinciding relationships.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:c0cd8e4e-a172-47b9-b9c7-8748e4efd799">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahhhh.   But still.  How does he maintain that job AND a fiancee in NJ AND a GF in CT??
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>I still want to know where he actually lives.  Especially since he hadn't moved in with the GF yet.  WTF is he doing?  Did his parents know about the GF?</div>

ravenray

This is just beyond me.  I don't understand why anyone would do this.  Wouldn't that much sneaking around be way to hard?

lunarsongbird

How did he split up the holidays?

This is just AWFUL.

GoldenPenguin

Okay, so do you all think that I am silly & naive for believing that BF is traveling, away on business all the time, and that I am really his only GF?? Because that's what I'm picking up from a few of the posts... I mean, I trust that BF is honest with me, but I'm sure she did too. So where does that fall?

Obviously there were way more issues here, but damn... makes a girl think.

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:e108fdb2-7724-4862-aa3f-ba32e8884cba">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, so do you all think that I am silly & naive for believing that BF is traveling, away on business all the time, and that I am really his only GF?? Because that's what I'm picking up from a few of the posts... I mean, I trust that BF is honest with me, but I'm sure she did too. So where does that fall? Obviously there were way more issues here, but damn... makes a girl think.
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

<p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:8.5pt;">I don't think that at all.  My dad used to be gone 5 days a week on business, use to make my mom so paranoid, she thought he had a family in another city but he didn't :)  But then again maybe I am naive...</span></p>

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:829288a3-b99f-4830-b5aa-79cfcd6e6ca6">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This puts things into perspective... : No, just a huge effing douche. And yes, let's send buttraping, red-eyed unicorns to his house. Please. So I don't actually have to do the murdering myself.
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

I will gather the troops.

NurseyK

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:e108fdb2-7724-4862-aa3f-ba32e8884cba">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, so do you all think that I am silly & naive for believing that BF is traveling, away on business all the time, and that I am really his only GF?? Because that's what I'm picking up from a few of the posts... I mean, I trust that BF is honest with me, but I'm sure she did too. So where does that fall? Obviously there were way more issues here, but damn... makes a girl think.
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

NO not at all. I just have to wonder what is going through your sister's mind. Like, did she miss some big clues? Were there other issues that you unspoken that might have made her mistrust him? Agree with yaga. I feel so bad for her. Obviously he is in the wrong... but to have go through a breakup like that will make her question herself, her trust, and men for a long time.

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:02291fb3-4cb7-467f-8fe1-af54004a83e7">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This puts things into perspective... : No, not at all.  I think there are gaps that we're all seeing, that you don't see with your BF because they aren't there. Like: <strong>what is his PERMANENT address? Where do his bills go?  What's on his license?  If it's NJ, then why is he making it seem like he lives in CT?  If it's CT, then wouldn't his fiancee think that's weird?  Since he's traveling for "business" to NJ, he should be staying in hotels right?  Does the GF ever get a room # in case she needs to get in contact with him?  Does he talk about the meals he eats out because he's traveling all the time?  (Everyone that I know that travels for work lives in hotel in the other cities, and their company pays for their meals.)
</strong>Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

This!

Bri, don't let this get to your head that your bf is doing this. You've gone to visit him, you know where he's at. Obviously the girls didn't put two and two together or something.

Hazel_B

Bri - I completely wasn't saying that people who travel for business are like this. Just that with this particular guy if it had been going on for 2 years there might be some out there who think that there is nothing wrong with what he's doing and think it's fun on top of it. 

Hazel_B

Bri - I just had the chance to keep reading. I have never thought you were silly or naive and I never meant to imply anything about your relationship at all.

Blue & White

For what it's worth, my dad has worked in a different state or country since I was in 7th grade.  He always came home on weekends.

My parents have the healthiest marriage of anyone I know. 

Sometimes you have to be where the job takes you.

As for the real subject of this post, how ANYONE could do that is absolutely baffling to me.  I feel so horrible for your friend's sister - even though this was totally his fault, it takes time to get over a 2 year relationship.

Hazel_B

Not that I'm thinking about it, this happened to a close friend of mine. In her case he lied that he was in the military but ended up having a completely different life elsewhere. She's had a really difficult time trusting men ever since because things seemed so normal based on what she thought was his work.

kellyt89

I had to read your first post 3x to understand it. WTF

Did anyone ever see that Law and Order episode where the guy gets killed and it turns out he has a wife, a fiance AND a girlfriend all at the same time? This is what this reminds me of.

kaitlynmichelle

I read this on my phone this morning, holy hell.  I want to hunt that guy down and punch him really, really hard.

I can't believe he was able to hide it from both girls for so long.  I really don't get people like that.  

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-puts-things-perspective?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:78fc4da6-5b81-4a02-9bbd-6c990c494eafPost:d14c5f89-3f99-46f2-a142-f8db5c0b8e15">Re: This puts things into perspective...</a>:
[QUOTE]I had to read your first post 3x to understand it. WTF Did anyone ever see that Law and Order episode where the guy gets killed and it turns out he has a wife, a fiance AND a girlfriend all at the same time? This is what this reminds me of.
Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]

All of this.  I LOVE Law and Order!

Bri, I feel so bad for your friend, that is horrible.  Someone needs to see to it that douche of the century is outed to his fiancee!  If you'd like the info to be sent confidentially please gather information and mail it to me.  I will glady send it from Cincinnati.  Tell your friend to black out her eyes in pictures of her and what she thought was her BF, print out emails from his email, whatever, send his FI that shiit ASAP!  

Also, try not to let this get into your head any further and use the following infromation to get it the eff out since it's probably already in there...

Your BF and you are both from the same area, you know A LOT of the same people and have/do (when you can) spend time with each others family, etc.

Your BF wants you to move back to Maine so that he can see you more, if he was being shady I doubt he'd want you closer/more able to keep tabs on him.

Your BF LOVES YOU AND YOU TRUST EACH OTHER A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT!  PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT THAT HAS HAPPENED TO A FRIEND EFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN A NEGATIVE WAY!

melmac86

Oh wow. That's insane. I really hope someone clues in the other girl well before April and that your friend is able to heal from this and realize what a crazy person he really is. I am shocked that he was able to pull this crap for two years. Sounds like he's a master-manipulator sociopath. Clearly, he has no empathy for someone else's feelings.