How to set a date? Thoughts?

loves2shop4shoes

Hi Everyone!  So as you all know, I got engaged about 3 weeks ago.  YAY.  I also started law school 2 weeks ago...Sigh.

FI and I have discussed a general timeline for the wedding, but we haven't been able to nail down anything more specific yet, and I'd like to. 

Originally, we thought Summer 2012 would be perfect because it would be the summer after my 2nd year of law school.  This gives us 2 years to plan, which is enough time that I won't have to plan and study at the same time.  However, I'm unsure if this is the best time.  

The thing is, in law school, summer internships can make or break you.  Summer after 1L, your internship usually is not too serious.  However, summer after 2L, you usually try to get an internship that will give you a job upon graduation.  So, I'm afraid of getting married & taking a honeymoon during a summer where performing well at work is SO important.  Also, I'm afraid that it will be even harder to find a good summer internship when I say "I'm getting married in the beginning/end of the summer AND taking a honeymoon.  Kthanx."  Summer after I graduate is 1) too far away and 2) impractical since I have to pass the bar and start a job in the same summer.

So, I don't know what to do.  I've thought about maybe getting married this coming summer, but the thought of planning a wedding during the first year of law school is absolutely cringeworthy.

I've also considered getting married during a December break, but I would prefer to get married around here (Boston) and with my luck, there would be a blizzard on my wedding day.

I've also considered getting married during Spring Break of 2L and taking a honeymoon over the summer.

FI and I would prefer a wedding in the spring/summertime in Boston.  I think we would also prefer some time to plan without losing our minds.  What do you all think?

KD+BC

Here's my suggestion: Get married at the end of summer after your second year and go on your honeymoon over winter break of your third year. If you can take your honeymoon right after your wedding, great! But there is no law saying you can't wait. Then you only have to take a couple days off to get married and have a big vacation to look forward too after the wedding is over.

noelle24

KD's suggestion is a good one.  Honestly, I wouldn't risk the 2L summer internship.  The job market is shiitty for lawyers right now, so that summer internship is even MORE important.  You may want a spring/summer wedding with a honeymoon right away, but you need to prioritize. 

I'd either get married this coming summer or after you graduate.  Honestly, wedding planning is only as stressful as you make it.  You can always simplify things.   However, I would personally wait until graduation.  I know two people who got married after graduating law school.  One of whom took the bar exam a week before the wedding.  And everything worked out fine. 

katanne9

Honestly, weddings are one of the only thing that most people will give you a break for. I would do it when you want and not worry about it affecting your internship.

The timing and stress will never be convenient. THerefore, do it when you want.


I would also give more thought to the winter wedding. A lot more will be available, you'll get more price breaks and it may be easier for you. Depending on when we got engaged (we wanted a very short engagement) I definitely would have entertained the idea of a winter wedding. (Yes, even in Boston... where those price breaks may really come in handy).

GreenPepperBurger

I would not want to jeopardize the 2L summer internship. It's just too important. I voted for winter because of my own personal bias (I love winter weddings!) and it seems like a reasonable amount of time to get married and take a honeymoon w/o having to sacrifice school/career priorities. How long is the winter break? A good 5 weeks, right?

GL!

calindi

Really, I can't imagine any possible way you could plan a wedding for next summer and not drive yourself absolutely mad.  Oh, maybe if you had a wedding coordinator do everything and you just show up with no other input!  Otherwise, avoid this.  Seriously, you think you're stressed now?  Wait until November.  Then all of spring.  This is not a good time to plan a wedding.

Do it at the end of your 2L summer - don't tell your employer when they're interviewing but let them know once you get hired what your end-date will be, they usually give you a week to two weeks at the end of the summer anyway before classes start.  And with budgets being cut short everywhere, most 2L internships that I'm seeing are only 10-12 weeks, giving students about a month off.

Doing it right after finals your 2L year will also kill you.  You want at least 6 weeks on either side of a final because those are intense - people I know barely take the time to shower during this time.  Seriously.

So I'd say do it in early August 2012.  Gives you plenty of time to get your internship in, no one is going to begrude you leaving a week earlier if need be for your wedding.

leia1979

I actually voted "listen to your mama" because I think it's risky to potentially jeopardize your internship. However, Cate's advice is good too. If you made it so you just ended your internship a week or two early, I doubt anyone would have an issue. I haven't dealt with legal interns, but our MBA intern is going on vacation for two weeks before heading back to school. No one minds a bit. He's actually stayed longer than some of the other interns.

Goldlie11

I think it depends on what kind of wedding you are having.  You could do it summer after year one if you get an all inclusive venue.  I know someone who did that and planning was a breeze.  

aperitisa

I voted for the winter wedding.  It might be because I'm biased to them, but also, they are sooo much cheaper (at least from my experience).  It also helps that the planning is a bit easier.  I was able to get my dress outside of the busy season so it came in really quickly.  Same goes for florist, dj and photographer...I practically had my pick of a ton of options.  

Also, you can do all the major planning during the 1st internship and be happily married by the time the 2nd one comes around and you can focus 100% on that rather than having wedding brain all summer.

calindi

The thing with a winter wedding is she'll probably get 3-4 weeks off for winter break.  And it's right after finals.  It took my BF nearly 2 weeks to just simmer down, lose the weight he put on from no sleep or exercise and crappy food, and get rid of the pimples covering his face from not showering during finals (yes, that's really gross).  That's the problem with it - there's no way to have a winter wedding without putting it right after finals.

Spring break would be an option, if you really need to, but do it your 2L year. 

breezerb

I'm with Cate's suggestion of doing it at the end of your summer internship.  Either that of a beautiful winter wedding

nottheonlydreamer44

Cath, I voted for the winter wedding too.

 I know you are in love with the idea of a spring/summer wedding in Boston but that's also 1. the busiest time of year and 2. the most expensive (especially in a big city). Plus your time frame/law school just does not work for next summer at all. 2L isn't going to work either - you need to definitely be focused on getting a good internship; NOT stressing over a wedding and what will happen when you get back from your honeymoon. It won't be any fun.

I don't know how long your winter break is (our is 7 weeks) and that is when I got married the first time around. If you do an early winter wedding you probably won't get slammed with a blizzard and trust me a winter wedding is beautiful! Even if it's 3-4 weeks honestly you will be happy to have that as your come down from finals. As Asper said: you can do everything quickly because not a lot of vendors are booked.

I wanted nothing more than to switch to summer this time around (though I'm not a summer fan) I just wanted some separation from the 1st one. However, it's dead in the middle of summer A term (which I needed to take) there is literally no good time to do it I'm doing every quarter including all 3 summer terms.

In my lovely time off I managed to get all of the wedding planned for the most part. You can knock it out in a month of planning and it doesn't have to be stressful. I'm going to get all my work finished ahead of time (I hope) but it's a 5 week quarter and I'm going to miss 2 weeks of it. lol. 

PM if you need to talk and I hope Law School is going well so far!

[Deleted User]

Whenever you do it, definitely don't worry about taking your HM right away - that idea sounds like it may actually be stressing you more than anything.  We can't afford to take one right away, nor could either of us take that much time off from work at the same time as the wedding (well, assuming I actually get a job by then).  So we're going to save some money and take our HM later - it may not even happen till our 1st or 2nd anniversary.

I'm also one of those girls that's basically doing an all-inclusive.  My ceremony is at a different location than my reception, but the reception is including everything but the cake.  We're not using a limo, instead we're a friend or family member to drive us between the ceremony & reception and someone will take our car to the hotel for us so we don't have to rely on someone to pick us up the next day.  We've had several people offer to do this for us already. I've also had a ton of friends offer to help in whatever way they can.  So, if you let them help you, I'm sure the planning won't be nearly as stressful as you think.  And your wedding will be perfect no matter when you choose to have it.