Hi! Welcome to NEY!
We're happy you're here.
However, before posting on this board, LURK.
Read back a couple pages to get a feel for the board.
Also, please be aware that many of the posters on this board do NOT encourage planning a wedding before you consider yourself engaged.
What constitutes planning? Researching venues, vendors, or flowers. Picking colors, wedding party attire, or your wedding dress.
It's okay to spot something you like while idly browsing the knot ONCE IN A WHILE and bookmark it with the thought of "someday maybe." It's not okay to spend a large amount of your free time poring over, for example, flower arrangements, with the idea of "saving time later" by picking out exactly what you want NOW. See the difference?
There are a variety of common reasons regs cite as to why "pre-planning" is not a good idea:
-Because it doesn't make sense to plan an event that you don't yet absolutely positively know IS happening.
-Because no one needs a year to plan a wedding. No one. We really, REALLY don't like to hear "I'm a planner, so..."
-Because by skipping ahead, you're living in the future instead of the present. You're denying yourself a wonderful experience -- the excitement and anticipation of looking forward to something that will only happen once -- a proposal. Once it's over, it's over, and you can never look forward to it again. Enjoy it while you can.
-Also, consider that you're not giving your BF or his proposal their due by skipping ahead of them.
-The personal experience of many of the married posters on this board is that wedding planning WILL GET OLD and that you are better off saving your excitement and energy for when it comes time to pick a date and start booking venues and vendors.
That said, it's okay to be excited, eager, and impatient sometimes and want to talk about it with people who understand. You can vent here. Just be prepared for people to be quite blunt when talking you down.
Lastly, only you and your BF can determine your relationship status. We cannot tell you whether you are or are not engaged. The general opinion on this board however is that you do NOT need a ring to be engaged; you merely need a mutual agreement between you and your BF that you're engaged and can proceed with wedding planning.
NEY regs are generally not malicious, but they are usually opinionated and honest (sometimes painfully so). However, if you can state a differing opinion with respect and maturity, diversity of perspectives is appreciated.
You're welcome to just start posting in threads, but it's also nice if you post an intro thread and tell us a little about yourself.
Each board has its own personality and set of regular posters. Not Engaged (Yet) is no exception. To really fit in and make friends, you’ll want to know what’s going on, who’s who, and how posters here express themselves.
1) If you post something, you’ll get responses and advice. Some of the ladies here are engaged or married, and have been in your shoes. We WANT to help you out, but sometimes you’ll find they can be pretty blunt. You might even feel offended. Take a step back before you respond. Don’t take things too personally. The only thing anybody has to go on is what you posted. Did you give enough information? Did someone misunderstand your tone? Clarify if you need to, but don’t get upset. After all, it’s only the internet.
2) You do not need a ring to be engaged. You’ll hear this a lot around here. Many couples get engaged without a ring. All you really need is an agreement between both people that you intend to marry each other. Nobody can tell you that you’re engaged if you and your significant other don’t think so, but if you’ve picked a date and started planning but claim you’re not engaged… well, you’re going to get some funny looks.
4) Sometimes you just need to vent. That’s cool. But let us know that you’re venting, or that you need to be talked down from your craziness. We all have our limits for life and stress, but if nobody knows you or what you’re thinking and you post something that makes you sound totally crazy, you won’t get the advice you really need. Tell us when you just want to let it all out. Trust me, we’ll understand.