UGH! A little rant

meamolly

I am so mad! I wrote this long blog post and forgot to publish it. I hope it is still there when I get home. I wrote it last night after my date (yes turns out it was a date) with an ex that I dated back in high school. I fell asleep and didn't finish it, I was going to on my lunch when I discovered it wasn't there! Anyway, if you want to read it, I hope to post it later tonight.

[Deleted User]

I thought you had a BF.  why are you going on a "date"?

maybe you should just take a break from all this, it seems like you're bouncing around between men more than a pinball machine.

meamolly

Well that was the point of the blog, I thought it was just drinks with a friend and there is all this confusion and blah blah blah

[Deleted User]

it's only a date if you let it be a date.  if I was going out for drinks with a friend, and I had a BF, there would be no "confusion and blah blah blah".  do you still have a BF?

meamolly

No, I do not.

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:37a33fdd-734f-47b3-9dc2-873a50c32b6f">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought you had a BF.  why are you going on a "date"? <strong>maybe you should just take a break from all this, it seems like you're bouncing around between men more than a pinball machine.</strong>
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This.</div>

swhite2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:361e7bd2-4d01-4e9f-863f-67653241e05b">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]No, I do not.
Posted by meamolly[/QUOTE]



You guys broke up already after you posted in your blog on the 7th that you were talking marriage and moving in together??? I agree that you need to just cool it for awhile and take a step back.

[Deleted User]

seriously, molly.  I've said it before in a KUI thread a while ago.  just TAKE A BREAK.  you are bouncing around, crazy-like.  it can't be healthy. 

YOU DON'T NEED A MAN TO BE COMPLETE.

learn who you are first, learn to love yourself, make a goal and keep it (like you're walk __ miles in a month goal that I don't think you ever made).  feel the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes with making a goal and meeting it.  please.  learn to be content with yourself.  be on your own a while.

meamolly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:8fb1ec5d-930e-45b7-85c0-ae52f8d3d551">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: UGH! A little rant : You guys broke up already after you posted in your blog on the 7th that you were talking marriage and moving in together??? I agree that you need to just cool it for awhile and take a step back.
Posted by swhite2012[/QUOTE]

I do agree, that is why I was going out for drinks with a friend. Yes I let it be a date in the end because I guess that is kind of what I was hoping for. I know I need to cool my jets.  I don't see it going anywhere with him. B was talking marriage and moving in. That part freaked me out. There was too much conflict on many things and I called an end to it all. This time, I will just be spending time at the gym, and yes girls you should call me out on it!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:3983ccef-fde6-470b-8e9b-a8780160cef2">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: UGH! A little rant : I do agree, that is why I was going out for drinks with a friend. Yes I let it be a date in the end because I guess that is kind of what I was hoping for.<strong> I know I need to cool my jets.  I don't see it going anywhere with him. B was talking marriage and moving in. That part freaked me out. There was too much conflict on many things and I called an end to it all. This time, I will just be spending time at the gym, and yes girls you should call me out on it!</strong>
Posted by meamolly[/QUOTE]

this doesn't match up everything else you say.  this doesn't match up with you let it be a date because you guess that's what you were hoping for.  this doesn't match your actions.

be honest with yourself.  that's the first step.

meamolly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:fee467ae-743d-49a0-82ca-76e522bc6fe7">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: UGH! A little rant : this doesn't match up everything else you say.  this doesn't match up with you let it be a date because you guess that's what you were hoping for.  this doesn't match your actions. be honest with yourself.  that's the first step.
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

As i re read it, yes, It isnt matching. I feel like I am trying to justify and I just need to shut up and take it as it lays. I went on a date when I should be just cooling my jets.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:37a33fdd-734f-47b3-9dc2-873a50c32b6f">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]maybe you should just take a break from all this, it seems like you're bouncing around between men more than a pinball machine.
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

... I almost choked on my sweet tea when I read this. Thanks for trying to kill me, man.

loves2shop4shoes

Molly, have you considered counseling?

It seems to me like you have some self esteem and relationship issues that you need to work through.

meamolly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:4ac34f84-bf44-479f-af71-740dc2f9f860">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]Molly, have you considered counseling? It seems to me like you have some self esteem and relationship issues that you need to work through.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

To tell you the truth, yes. I just didnt know where to start.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-a-little-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7e1e4153-fa32-452d-ab2e-7f1bcc5b5fcbPost:82515a60-6ea3-4464-807b-034aa679864b">Re: UGH! A little rant</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: UGH! A little rant : As i re read it, yes, It isnt matching. I feel like I am trying to justify and I just need to shut up and take it as it lays. I went on a date when I should be just cooling my jets.
Posted by meamolly[/QUOTE]

but you're not LISTENING.  this is more than just cooling your jets.  this is about learning to love yourself first.  it's obvious that you're not happy with yourself or your life circumstances, or both.  get to the root of the cause.  you've said time and time again that you know you need to cool your jets, but you still keep bouncing around.  you aren't finishing anything.  you're frantic for something.  figure out what it is.  maybe it's acceptance, but you can only find that within your self.

I have been where you are.  I recognize all this.  I bounced back and forth from man to man, just looking for love.  but what I really had to do, was love myself.  and everything else started to slowly fall into place.  bouncing from guy to guy, goal to goal...  it's just not healthy.  get out of the cycle.

get out of the cycle.  be honest with yourself.  what are you looking for?  if you're looking for love, don't look for a man to fill that void.  because he can't.  a BF, a FI, a H...  they can't fill that void if you don't love yourself first.  we're only people, and we can't perfectly meet someone else's needs.  we can do our best, but we'll never find someone to fill that void. 

if you're looking for acceptance, you won't find it until you accept yourself first.  if you're looking for a feeling of worth, you won't find it until you believe that you have self-worth.

get out of the cycle.  be honest with yourself. 

consider shoe's suggestion for counselling.  I think you need it.  I say that in all honesty and respect and compassion.

thejucheidea

I've gone to therapists since middle school. If you need help finding someone, I'd be very happy to help you.

kaitlynmichelle

I think Coco said it all.  Not to sound harsh at all, but I agree with what she said.  Counseling might be a good idea.

nyc1210

Not long after S and I moved in together, I lost it. I felt so confused about who I was. I went to counselling. It honestly did wonders. She helped me understand how to be myself and be a good girlfriend, which in turn led to a completely different relationship with my now husband. It's really nothing to be embarrassed about. It takes a strong person to admit they need help with something like this.