Was he perfect when you met?

CCO2012

So, I was thinking in the shower today about Daniel when he showed up for our first official date. It was June and 80+ degress outside and he wore jeans a brown polo and brown doc martin shoes. He said they were his "brown shoes". Next time I visited him, we went shopping and bought him some tan boat shoes to be his "summer brown shoes" and when he moved to St. Louis I bought him some nice Steve Madden brown dress shoes for his "work brown shoes". This inspired him to get rid of all of the clothes he bought before 2008. I fell in love with Daniel the morning after we first spent the night together as he walked e to my car. REguardless of his clothing choices, but I am also glad he has stepped up his style game in the last year.

So here is the question for today!

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
What did you immediately want to change?
Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?

And...... GO!

NurseyK

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Nope! He is tall and nerdy and down to earth, even if he has that "I'm totally an engineer" style.

What did you immediately want to change?
Nothing, I wouldn't change a thing about his style. I like it

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
His need for a clean house and his lack of inertia to help me clean this house.

tafft1

My hisband was himself - and I honestly loved Him the way He was and is. I don't think I ever wanted to change anything about Him , and no one is ever perfect..maybe I helped Him realize He can wear more than black jeans and t shirts , but it was more suggesting He try new things than forcing it upon Him. I've never been a fan of wanting to impose my personal style and taste on another person..we are individual for a reason /shrug.

[Deleted User]

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
no, he wasn't.  he drank a lot and participated in a totally different lifestyle.  he was angry at life and really screwing around with his education and finances.  he was a huge flirt.  but he had a good heart, and was going through some crappy times then.  we became friends and I was just there for him to listen and to give advice when he asked it and to just give unconditional friendship.  after some time he let go of a lot of his anger and blossomed into who he really is...  he is naturally a very easy-going, happy, positive person and let a failed relationship drive him into anger and depression. 

What did you immediately want to change?
I wanted him to quit drinking and hanging out with bad influences.  I wanted him to let go of his anger and be happy and learn to trust again.  I couldn't make him do any of it, and for a while I thought that he just didn't want to.  we tried to date but just couldn't reconcile our differences, so we broke up.  he left for a few months and really got his life back into shape.  he wanted to date again, but I wanted to start back at the friendship stage for a little while and then eventually we started dating again, after I felt that he had made positive changes in his life.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
for sure!!!  he has this habit of missing the trash can with his Q-tips... and he uses one per ear, instead of flipping it around and using the opposite end.  sometimes he gets lazy and builds a "sock tower" of socks that he takes off at night next to the bed (but lately he has been trying to not do that).  sometimes he says he'll do something but takes longer than when I think he should do it.  he likes to have a little more (actually, a lot more!) down-time than I am used to.  he only shaves once a week and so his beard scratches me a lot by day 3 or 4.  but nothing major, like the problems he had when I first met him 4 or 5 years ago.

cu97tiger

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?

He was as perfect as he is now. I fell in love with him for his calm demeanor, his intelligence, and his gorgeous blue eyes. Oh, and his love for his dogs, and his passion for running/triathlons. He still has/is all those things.

What did you immediately want to change? 
I didn't immediately want to change anything about him.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?

He has great style, but he pretty much only wears shades of black, tan and blue. He doesn't like any other colors, and he actually got after me last night for buying a purple TRAINING bathing suit. Seriously? He's never even going to see that bathing suit since I only wear it in the pool at school. So yes, I'd love if he could appreciate me in a red dress, but it's a pretty minor thing in the grand scheme of things!

motoLyn

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Oh hell  no.... he was fit and sexy but he still had man-hoar tendencies that he hadn't fully purged.

What did you immediately want to change?
His man-hoarness, he was a ladies man.....

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necessarily love?
Not really, he does things that annoy me from  time to time but then I guess that's part of why I love him.  Things such as leaving clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink and forgetting that we have weekend plans when he accepts offers to go mountain biking with the guys.

kbbouch

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?

Honestly, he wa pretty close. The only thing I've really changed is teaching him how to bargain shop for groceries and he now wakes up before 2 pm on the weekends.

What did you immediately want to change?

I had to change the waking up super late on the weekends. I always got up early (like 6 am) even on weekends. He always got up at 1 or 2. We now get up around 8. It's kind of a compromise.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?

He started snoring after we started dating. Don't love it, but neither does he, because he doesn't sleep well.

lunarsongbird

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
You betcha. I met Andrew on e-Harmony, so I knew that he was going to be as "perfect" as I could find- because I filled out that huge questionnaire and e-Harmony said we were compatible on 29 different dimensions! Haha...LOL.
 But seriously- Andrew and I are like twinflames. We are so similar it's almost frightening.

What did you immediately want to change?
Truthfully? His breath...I've talked to him about it and it's now always bad, but I just think I'm going to have to deal.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necessarily love?
As soon as we move into a home together, all his yellow armpit stained undershirts are OUT OF THERE! He will be getting ALL new undershirts. Hooray! I would also really like it if he initiated sexy time more often.

ravenray

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
No of course not.  I really don't think anyone is, because it is human nature (I feel) to find flaws.  He wasn't very good at expressing himself with his words.  He relied way too much on his mother.  He didn't really understand my feelings so he discounted them.  There were other things too but I can't remember them now, we worked through them and I let it go.
What did you immediately want to change?
Not too much.  I don't need people to change instantly.  I understand that change is a process that takes time.  But I wanted him to understand my feelings and think that they were valid.  I also didn't want him to be so dependant on his mother.
Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necessarily love?
Not really.  He has one hideous shirt that I hate with a burning passion and he loves because he knows I hate it.  I pretty much love everything about him, I can't help it, he is amazing!

Wrkn925

Nope, not perfect. 

We met at a bar we were working at.  We both drank too much, we both stayed out too late and acted like fools.

We came to a realization together that we needed to grow up, and we did together.

So, no, he was not perfect, but neither was I.

ETA: He dresses better than me and always has.

Sparrow87

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him? Nobody is perfect but I think he is a perfect match for me. 

What did you immediately want to change? I have never and would never want to change anything about him, or anyone else for that matter.  I am a staunch believer that unless someone wants to change they never will, or if they do the change will never last. 
 
Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necessarily love? No major complaints on my end. 

MrsCatfish

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
*Snort*  No, but I wasn't either.  We became friends right away (we met doing a play together), but there were a lot of things we didn't like about each other:  I thought he drank too much and could be kind of a jerk, and he thought I was pushy and crazy.  Which, looking back, I was.  Heck, I still am a little of each.

What did you immediately want to change? 
Even with the fact that he wasn't perfect, I didn't really want to change anything.  I fell in love with him about 6 months after we met...it took him 3 years to reciprocate.  But something just told me to keep on being friends and to not try to change him, because I really did like him just as he was.  Even though the whole "being friends (sometimes with benefits) and being in love with your best friend" thing got a little old.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
Things I don't necessarily love but have no real desire to change:  He has no conceptualization of time...if he says we'll have dinner at 7:00, I know to plan for 8:00.  He leaves his dirty clothes everywhere, even if the hamper is right there.  He spills everything, especially coffee, and he collects coffee cups in his truck.  I have to go out about once a week and clean them out so they can be washed.

The only thing I really wish he would change is his smoking...he smokes about a pack a day.  He wants to quit, but, honestly, he'll be really cranky while he does, so he's waiting for a time when neither one of us are particularly stressed so we don't bite each other's heads off.

bethsmiles

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Obviously no one is perfect, but from the very start there was nothing I wanted to change about him. There was an immediate attraction between us and we've been together pretty much since the day we met.

What did you immediately want to change?
Nothing

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necessarily love?
He takes forever to get things done and it drives me crazy sometimes but it's not that big of a deal.

polkadot111

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Not perfect, no. I did think he was cute and sweet when I met him, but not perfect.

What did you immediately want to change? Nothing immediately. I think it's easy to think they're PERFECT at first, and after you know them completely you find some flaws. 

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
yeah, there are things. I don't like how slowwwww he is at fixing things. Example: "Jeff, my car needs a new break pad. Can you fix it, or should i bring it in?" He says, "Oh, I can do it!!" ................three weeks later........

Ollie08

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Well, we originally met in HS, but were set up many years later by a mutual friend, so I'll go with the re-meet since that's what I actually remember. And the answer is no. He was dressed sloppy, and almost didn't show up.

What did you immediately want to change?
I wanted to change the way he dressed. He looked like something from the 90s, in fact I'm almost positive the clothes he owned at the time were actually from high school!

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
No, I love the way he is now and I wouldn't change anything about him. He has even helped me change and become more relaxed. If I had to pick something, I'd say he likes to sleep more than I do, I'd rather sleep when I'm dead, and he likes to relax far more. But we help keep each other in line.

IrishDreamer

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Hahahaha. No one's perfect, but he was the same as he is now

What did you immediately want to change?
Nope. He was on time to pick me up (big pet peeve), dressed nice, and up for something different (we went and smoked hookah, which he had never done before)

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
Of course, I'm sure there's things about me that he feels the same way. He continues arguments/discussions when he should just drop them. He doesn't seem to have that "off" switch to tell him when to shut up. He always has to make himself heard.

loves2shop4shoes

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him? 

No one is perfect...

What did you immediately want to change? 

I didn't want to change anything.  There was, however, one truly heinous orange shirt that he owned, that in about one year's time I confiscated and "lost".  Oops.  (I bought him new things to make up for it...but seriously YUCK.)

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love? 

I don't love his constant refusal to put down the toilet seat.  I dislike his "If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" policy.  It's gross.  I also can't understand WHY he can NEVER close a drawer or cabinet when he's done with it.

[Deleted User]

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
No way. People are people. I'm not perfect and neither is he. We communicate well, don't name call, are able to put ourselves in each other's shoes and compromise and always come back to each other after a disagreement. Those are the things that are important to me.

What did you immediately want to change?
His shirt! We were set up on a blind date and met at a mutual friend's house for pool and snacks. BF is so well dressed, but the night we met, he wore a button down black shirt with blue dragons on it. I've told him ever since that I must have had pretty strong feelings right away to be able to look past what he was wearing! He has kept the shirt (even though he never wears it) and we joke about it with friends from time to time! This is one that is similar to "THE SHIRT":




Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necessarily love?
Snore. He doesn't do it often...but when he does it drives me up a wall! I can't sleep at all if someone is snoring. (Totally hypocritical too since I snore sometimes myself.

tuarceatha

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
He was exactly what I was looking for at the time. And his timing was "perfect". I thought we were a "perfect" fit.

What did you immediately want to change?
This is a great question, because I defintely asked myself that when we started dating and couldn't come up with anything! That was a first for me. I was finally in a place where I wasn't picking at a guy. I just liked him. Flaws and all.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
Of course, we live together and share one bathroom. I know I've mentioned this before, but I guess I come from a household with four bathrooms, and sharing one with a man is... different. That's all I'll say about that.

Beads921

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Of course not. No one is perfect, by any stretch. He was kind of grumpy, shut off to the world, wore only black or red shirts with ill-fitting jeans, and had bad acne. Let's remember we met at 16, which does excuse most of the above as 'teenager stuff'. And really, none of it matters all that much (well, grumpy and shut off to the world could be a problem in the long run, but he snapped out of it eventually - it was a product of some crappy life circumstances).

What did you immediately want to change?
Nothing. Quite frankly when we met I couldn't have given 2 hoots about him. Even once we were together, he was still kind of closed off to the world, but so was I, so at the time it worked. We've both grown out of that though. His style was definitely lacking, but I didn't care that much. Eventually I got him wearing colourful clothes, simply by suggesting he try them on (his favourite shirt today is actually purple), and he figured out that he looks better in properly fitted jeans.

Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?
Of course! Mostly, it's that when we're at home, he's really gassy, and certainly doesn't hold back. I wish he would - there is no need for all the belching (at least he doesn't do it in public). He also only puts his clothes in the hamper once a week, so the rest of the time I do it. And when he says he'll do something, it usually doesn't happen right away (or at all, occasionally). But honestly, I can live with those things. They're only mildly irritating, and are fairly easy to ignore.

Peaseblossom55

Was you BF / FI / DH "perfect" when you met him?
Nope! He was who he was and I fell in love with him for who he was.  It

What did you immediately want to change?
Nothing really, I never think about guys that way.  
 
Is there anything he still has/does that you don't necesarrily love?  I wish he would plan a little more sometimes