ring bearer age

button6004

If you are having a ring bearer, how old is he/she?  My FI isnt quite sure how old a ring bearer should be, and he is worried about choosing my little cousin, who will be almost 3 when we get married. Thanks!

laurenoliveira23

mine will be 4 but my flower girl will be a couple months shy of 3 . i think my ring bearwer will be ok .. .not sure of my flower girl haha

egm900

My ring bearer will be 6, my flower girls are between the ages of 3 and 7.  Our church was hesitant to use the 3 year old, but when they heard there were multiple flower girls they said there was strength in numbers.  We also don't care if she refuses to walk down the aisle at the last minute.  It really depends on the kid, I suspect the 3 year old in ours will refuse about 2 seconds before she's supposed to walk and her father will have to come get her from the back of the church, but there are side aisles, so I really could care less.

vantica

Mine will be 2.5.  Lol.  Maybe they can walk in with their mom who is a BM.  I think they will be cute, so I don't care if they don't make it down the aisle.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ring-bearer-age?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:d73458d5-5bd0-4c92-ba38-c84fd0f2afc8Post:52baa123-f69e-49e7-ae8e-56d62f0f6f99">Re: ring bearer age</a>:
[QUOTE]Our RB was 7, going on 8 and our FG was 6.  My personal belief is that if they are not old enough to a) make it down the aisle completely under their own steam & b) explain to you what their role in the wedding is (in their own words), then they are too young.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. We have two FGs. One is 5 and the other is 7.

divinemsbee

I'm not having any, but I agree with SM and Arag. Part of the reason that we're not having them is that my church sets a lower age limit that any RBs or FGs must be at least 6 or in first grade. We have kids of family and close friends that are a bit older than that (8-9)who would probably think it was for "babies" and then we have some under 4s. There just aren't any kids close to us in the age range that are interested. And I'm totally cool with that. 

I wouldn't have thought that a church would have those limits before I looked at the contract, but I recommend asking (if you're getting married somewhere that might have those sorts of rules), I think more and more churches are putting them into place because they feel it takes away from the solemnity of the ceremony when the kids start doing kid stuff in the aisles. I'm not saying I feel that way, but since I found that out about my church I've heard about more churches doing that. 

HobokensFury

FG was 10, RB was 7.  I think children in the wedding should be old enough to understand what's going on.

Haveajonessoda

My ring bearer is going to have just turned 5, and my flower girl is 9 (quite an age difference, I know!) haha Honestly, I think the most vital thing when choosing your RB and FG is their importance to you and your fiancé. It's important to know both the child's personality and Iimitations, but I think there are ways to use even the most rambunctious child in a ceremony. I would even be okay with the child's mother walking them down the aisle. It's all a matter of significance to me.

stephk31

It is really up to you. My ringbearer will be just short of 4 at the day of the wedding but honestly, any age would be fine by me. So what if not everything is going to be smooth or perfect? Worst case scenario, your RB will throw a hissy fit or refuse to walk down the isle.....that doesn't make the day you are marrying the love of your life any less special

whitneymarie504

Our flower girl is 4.5 and super excited about it. She is a little diva, loves all eyes on her, etc so I KNOW she will be just fine.

Our ring bearer is just shy of 2. Yes he is a little young. We have a wagon ready for him to be pulled in and my step mom is going to pull him down the aisle before she sits down.

The reason for them is it is my Fi's niece and my step nephew. They are the closest children to us and we want them to be a part of our special day. If they throw a fit or don't make it down the aisle, oh well.

melindamahan

Our RB is ten and I agree with some of the other posts on here that say, if he's not old enough to make it down the aisle on his own, he's too young! I just don't want to have to worry about it and I have littler kids that I could have asked but noone is going to steal my thunder this time!

mellimel19

Our ring bearer will be 2 1/2. Knowing him, I really don't foresee any problem with him going down the aisle. But I think that even if they freak out or end up running down the aisle, everyone will still think they are absolutely adorable. If your ring bearer isn't old enough to walk down the aisle himself, maybe you can have an older child pull him down the aisle in a wagon?

Bonzo2011

Our ring bearer is 4.5, flower girls are 8 and 9. All three are FIs cousins' kids, who are really like nieces and nephew to us because of how close he is to his cousins. The 9 year old is the RB's older sister, so she can help keep him going if anything happens. Though with this kid I don't think there will be any stage fright! He's more likely to sprint down the aisle, which is fine if it happens.

CatB89

mine is 22 years old and female

id012

I think it depends on the kid. We were in a wedding and the FG was like 2 years 7 months and the RB was like 2 years 5 months, they both made it down the isle, they were both adorable, and happy as can be. They sat in the front row (the whole bridal party did) and were happy as clams the who time. 

But it really depends on the kid

id012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ring-bearer-age?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:d73458d5-5bd0-4c92-ba38-c84fd0f2afc8Post:c752020d-78d9-4965-8c44-d33bcaa03ba0">Re: ring bearer age</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it depends on the kid. We were in a wedding and the FG was like 2 years 7 months and the RB was like 2 years 5 months, they both made it down the isle, they were both adorable, and happy as can be. They sat in the front row (the whole bridal party did) and were happy as clams the who time.  But it really depends on the kid
Posted by id012[/QUOTE]
Also, I think if you want him as a ring bearer then just have him, regaurdless of age. Just dont stress about it. keep in mind that his is barely 3, he may not walk down the isle, he might want someone to walk down with him, whatever the case, be open.

jennipea382

Mine will only be 1 1/2. Young, yes, but he will be walking with his sister who will be 9 at the time (she's kinda like the FG but I asked her what she would prefer to be called, and she chose junior BM). So I think he'll be fine. He's already really outgoing so I don't think the walk down the aisle will scare him or anything. But I'm prepared for the possibility he won't do it. My cousin was about the same age when he was a ring bearer, and he fell asleep before the ceremony and slept right through it, haha. Oh, and his parents will be at the end of the aisle already (they will walk right after his dad) so that might help. We will be having someone there taking care of the kids so I'll have that person prepared if he doesn't want to do it when the time comes.

[Deleted User]

i'm having my nephews - who will be 5 and 2 - they'll be so cute!
My flower girl.... not sure, I'm not close with anyone that has a little girl!

Oh well, we'll see
--E

mbuckley85

My ring bearer will be 8 at the wedding. Flower girl will be 4.5 and I know she will be fine because a.) she 100% understanding of her job and how weddings work and b.) she's a born performer (including 2 dance recitals with over 1000 people in attendance with no stage fright.

serenity5689

A friend of mine had her just turned 2 years old, niece as her flower girl. She walked down the aisle with the Bride's mother and really enjoyed THROWING the flowers at everyone. It was SO cute, they video taped it, wIsh I was there to SEE IT! Her ring bearer was the groom's nephew who was only 4 months old. He looked like HE was pillow holding the rings. All dressed in white and blue, looks like a christianing outfit. The groom's brother, also the best man, carried the baby down the aisle then handed him to his mother that was sitting in the front row. 

stephanie123456

My FGs will be 5 and 8 and my RB (fiance's nephew) will be eight months. His mom will be carrying him down the aisle and that also includes her in the wedding party (since I hadn't originally asked her to be a BM but still wanted her involved).

librababy

My ring bearer is our son and will be 4 in Sepetember (wedding is November).  Our flower girl is our 5 year old daughter (will be 5 1/2). I think she will be fine (she is so looking forward to her role).  Not sure about our RB though... he's a little shy.

Benny618

My ring bearer will be just shy of 4 and my flower girl will be 9, so they will likely walk down holding hands so she can lead him down the aisle. 

I bought him a book called The Very Best Ring Bearer about a little boy being a RB in his Uncles wedding.  Because my RB is so young and I was worried if he would comprehend the book, I used a P-Touch and changed all the names in the book.  It took a little time, but I'm hoping that if my aunt reads him the book enough before the wedding, he will really understand his role. 

If at the last minute the RG says he doesn't want to do it, then I'm fine with that. 

smears09

My flowergirl will be 2 but my FI and I have uneven sides. He has 4 GM and I havd 5 BM's and one of them is her Mom. So she will be walking down/being carried down with her Mom. If she doesn't want to do it at the last minute thats ok with me. Also, the wedding is a few months away but we are already playing flower girl and she knows exactly what to do. 

Oh and her Dad will be in the front row so after she walks down she can go sit with him.  

sheilah2006

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ring-bearer-age?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:d73458d5-5bd0-4c92-ba38-c84fd0f2afc8Post:169e2c35-c02f-4bd7-b200-0cd0d46109b6">Re: ring bearer age</a>:
[QUOTE]It is really up to you. My ringbearer will be just short of 4 at the day of the wedding but honestly, any age would be fine by me. So what if not everything is going to be smooth or perfect? Worst case scenario, your RB will throw a hissy fit or refuse to walk down the isle.....that doesn't make the day you are marrying the love of your life any less special :)
Posted by stephk31[/QUOTE]


I agree. My nephew will be 2 1/2 and our flower girl (my fiances niece) will be be almost 3. I know that things may not go smoothly with them but they are an important part of our lives. Some people have said to me "the day is about you not the children and you don't want them making a scene." my response is Im the bride. Im okay with it. Its not going to ruin my day and we are going to have the parents ready to go get them if need be.