Last Names

luvdncn90

So I saw this on another board and I found it very interesting...when you get or in some cases got married will or did you take BF/FI's last name or keep your own?

Personally, when M and I get married I will take his last name. Call me traditional but I personally WANT to take his last name, to me it is special and I like knowing that I will have his last name. I like my name now but I've never thought twice about keeping it after I get married. I understand why some women chose to keep their names but I look forward to the day I get to take M's last name as my own!

What are you ladies going to do/or what did you do?

bethsmiles

I hate my last name (its boring and SUPER common) and I love BF's last name, its so unique and interesting and there is even a street in New Jersey that's named after his family - its very cool. I will without a doubt take his last name but I would do that even if his name was every bit as boring and lame is mine is. I can understand why some women don't change their name but it's really just not for me. I want me and him and our children to all have the same last name to symbolize that we are a family, and yes he could take my name but I don't really care what name we use so I have no problem with just going with tradition.

Oh and I'm not going to drop my middle name and use my maiden name because my grandmother, my aunt, and I all share the same first and middle name and that means a lot more to me than my last name.

luvdncn90

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:830153ce-0bd6-4fea-a021-5b3efec1a18bPost:51ddb2d5-37b4-444b-b320-eb40346c3102">Re: Last Names</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate my last name (its boring and SUPER common) and I love BF's last name, its so unique and interesting and there is even a street in New Jersey that's named after his family - its very cool. I will without a doubt take his last name but I would do that even if his name was every bit as boring and lame is mine is. I can understand why some women don't change their name but it's really just not for me. I want me and him and our children to all have the same last name to symbolize that we are a family, and yes he could take my name but I don't really care what name we use so I have no problem with just going with tradition. Oh and I'm not going to drop my middle name and use my maiden name because my grandmother, my aunt, and I all share the same first and middle name and that means a lot more to me than my last name.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]'


That's really cool that you all have the same name! And that your BF's family has a street named after the in New Jersey. Must be a pretty important family.
 
I don't plan on dropping my middle name either, I happen to like it very much. Plus my maiden name as my middle name would just be weird.

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:830153ce-0bd6-4fea-a021-5b3efec1a18bPost:932139d4-faea-4768-bd46-784d71646ac1">Re: Last Names</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names : ' That's really cool that you all have the same name! And that your BF's family has a street named after the in New Jersey. Must be a pretty important family.   I don't plan on dropping my middle name either, I happen to like it very much. Plus my maiden name as my middle name would just be weird.
Posted by luvdncn90[/QUOTE]

My mom dropped her middle name, she and my dad also made her maiden name my brother's middle name. It works well as a middle name but some last names are just weird as a middle name.

loves2shop4shoes

I'm taking FI's last name.  I hate my last name.  No one pronounces it correctly or spells it correctly.  It's an extremely rare last name, even for Portuguese people.  FI's last name is more common and easily spelled.

Ember01

I plan on taking his last name, both personally and professionally. I know some people keep their maiden name professionally, because it can be confusing to change. I feel like it should be an all or nothing deal. Also, once I have kids, I don't want them to be confused on why mom and dad have different last names.

I plan on keeping my middle name. I don't use my first name, I go by a nickname of my middle name (I know, it's confusing). If I dropped my middle name it would be even more confusing.

Personally, I like my last name more, because it is easier to pronunce. As a professor, I don't want to constantly be correcting my students, so I'll probably just shorten it to the first initial or tell students to call me by my nickname. We have lots of professors at school that we call Dr. H or Dr. Joe when they have long or confusing last names.

sapphirebaby926

I took my husbands name - it never occured to me that I wouldn't take his name really. I wasn't attached to my maiden name and I have a few family members that I don't want to be easily associated with so I was happy to change it. I am however very attached to my middle name so I just dropped my maiden name and left my middle name alone.

Now I have a first middle and last name that no one can spell right Middle and last name I get but everyone always sticks that extra 'a' in my first name. I don't get why - it doesn't even look right spelled that way. (First name is Rachel btw)

Beads921

To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I'd like to keep my name, but at the same time it would be easier to take BF's. We'll see.

rickylee244

I took my DHs last name - partly because its hilarious, partly because that's how I think it should be, and partly because its something that he also really wanted. 

However, professionally, I am in a transition using both my maiden and married name because I am published under my maiden name.  Eventually I will drop the maiden name, but for current conferences and email communications I include both to prevent confusion about who I am. 

I did not drop my middle name, because I like it and because my maiien name would not be a good middle name. 

The only "reason" I "regret" changing my name is Facebook.  That stupid site STILL wont let me change my last name because of what it is! So friends thought I actually hyphenated my name for a while (until i finagled something else)

oceana919

I'll be taking my FI's last name in all legal and personal senses.

I'll be hyphenating professionally, as I have some research under my maiden name and would like things to remain contiguous. Also, on the off chance we teach at the same university someday, people can at least tell the difference between us.

Speaking of which, I just submitted an abstract for consideration for a meeting in July, and (seeing as I'll be married at that point), filed my abstract and meeting paperwork under what will be my married professional name. Good lord, it was cool to see that on paper.

AudgiePodge

I will be taking FI's last name, but I like how my first and maiden name go together, I think they flow well.  I like FI's, it'll just take some getting used to.  Hyphenating or keeping mine isn't something for me.  I took exH's when we married and changed back to my maiden when we divorced.  I didn't want to keep his.  I saw no point.

Elle1036

I'm keeping mine.  I decided this a long time ago, before FI was even in my life.

I like the idea of sharing a last name with him and our future children - don't get me wrong - but I dislike the one-sidedness of the tradition.

You guys should help me convince him that we should invent a new last name for the two of us.

CASK85

I am almost positive that I'll keep mine. I want to keep it for personal and professional reasons. I've considered taking FIs IRL, but just keeping my professional/science name as my maiden name (almost like how authors have a pen name), but I haven't made the final decision yet. 

Hazel_B

I'm with you Elle. I think I need convincing

I really like the idea of having a common name with FI and any future children. However, I am very tied to my maiden name and don't like the one sidedness of the tradition. I'm also pretty opposed to hyphenating my kids name and have them get married to another hyphenated person and have to figure out what to do with 4 names. 

If I choose to not change I don't think it'll be a big deal around here because a neighbouring province doesn't allow women to take their husband's name anymore. So, that is really common here.

I have difficulty knowing what people did with their names because of FB. I never know how to address things anymore.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_last-names?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:830153ce-0bd6-4fea-a021-5b3efec1a18bPost:da81eec1-4ff4-408c-8bef-3ab6a8fca461">Re: Last Names</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be taking my FI's last name in all legal and personal senses. <strong>I'll be hyphenating professionally, as I have some research under my maiden name and would like things to remain contiguous</strong>. Also, on the off chance we teach at the same university someday, people can at least tell the difference between us. Speaking of which, I just submitted an abstract for consideration for a meeting in July, and (seeing as I'll be married at that point), filed my abstract and meeting paperwork under what will be my married professional name. Good lord, it was cool to see that on paper. :)
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

<div>I was planning on taking FI's last name, both personally and professionally, but this is an EXTREMELY good point.  I have a project that is going to be done in the next few months, probably written this summer, and then put into the publication process.</div><div>
</div><div>So, I'll probably do the same thing as Oceana and take it personally and drop my maiden name, but hyphenate professionally. :)</div>

Narwhal

I'm sort of still on the fence. I'm definitely taking FI's last name, but I'm not sure if I will keep my maiden name somewhere in there. I don't really like my last name at all, but it feels weird to just drop it when it's what I've been called so long.

My first name (Amy) is really short, and my middle name is just two syllables, and both my last name and FI's last name is one syllable, so I might do something like my sister did, and keep all my names and make it Amy Middle Last Last. A lot of people call me by my first name and my middle name together, so it would be confusing if I just drop it.

My sister made her first name a double name, moved her maiden to her middle, and then took BIL's last name. Her name is a good bit longer than mine though, so that just makes it a mouthful.

Idk, plenty of time to think about it I guess.

sparkles88

I would keep my last name. It's very unique and hard to pronounce. It's also fairly long.  I might hyphenate it. BF has an uncommon name as well, but his is much easier to spell and pronounce. I've always thought it would be kind of funny to marry someone with a really long name and hyphenate mine just to see the result. BF and I both have very Polish/German/Russian last names, so I like how they sound blended together.

I also have more personal reasons for it. My dad died when I was younger, so I see keeping his last name in some form as still having a piece of him around.

deburnin

I honestly have no clue what I'll do. For years, I always thought I would take BF's, but when we started looking at engagements rings I realized I love my last name. It's unique and a part of a heritage that is slowly disappearing, where as a huge number of people in the area have BF's last name... A hyphen isn't a possibility because it just sounds silly and he won't take mine because he's attached to his... I suppose we'll have to discuss it more once we're actually engaged.

zipis1

I"m keeping mine. This was decided when I was a kid because as others have said, I hate the one sidedness of the tradition. Plus mine is a Native American name and I love it, so I'm very opposed to changing it. BF and I won't be having children so that's a non-issue, however if we were to decide to have them we would change BOTH of our names to keep things equal.

leia1979

I'm keeping mine. I've had the same name for 31 years, and to me, getting married is not a good reason to change it. To me, it seems like giving up one's identity. I can understand changing to have the same last name as the kids, but since we aren't having kids, there's absolutely no reason to change.

It's absolutely a personal decision, but I admit I've been disappointed that a couple friends changed their names. More have kept than changed in my group.

musikbx

I'm going to keep my name. I've had it all my life, I never really felt comfortable with the idea of becoming a different person just because I am married.

Additionally, I am the sole person in my family with that last name who will be able to pass it on to future generations. It doesn't seem to be a big deal to my family, but it is to me. I've explained this to FI, and he is totally on board with my decision to keep my name. We'll just stick our kids with the super long hyphenated last name.

KD+BC

I took MH's last name but it was a hard decision. I love my maiden name and have a huge family who all live in my area. I considered dropping my middle name but my middle name is my mom's maiden name and I don't want to drop that part of me either.

In the end, I kept my first and middle names and took MH's last name and dropped my maiden name completely. I want to have the same last name as my children and MH's family name is dying out. All that's left is his dad, MH, and his brother and sister. No cousins or aunts and uncles with that name. As much as I love my maiden name, I will always be part of the family whether my licence says so or not. 

[Deleted User]

I hate the english translation of my last name.  It is way too long, too many consonants that it doesn't need, and no one can say or spell it correctly.  I like BFs last name so much more, it's not common but everyone can at least pronounce it.  I also think that I look more french than german anyway (his is french and mine is german).

Kimberly0402

I am taking my fiance's last name. I want to have his last name and I want to be a family. I also want the have the same last name as our children. It's important to me and us.

bsidebella

I'm taking his last name because I already have a hyphenated name (mom's maiden name with dad's last name) and it's a pain in the ass. I can't wait to just have ONE!

Also he has a relatively "normal" last name, and I like it. Recently, he threatened to change his name to what it was before his great-grandfather landed on Ellis Island. While it's a lovely gesture, I'm not a fan of the name, hahaha!

AJesteram

I'll be taking his last name personally but I can't decide if I want to take it professionally. My last name is German but easily spelled and said- Jester. His last name on the other hand is Akopdganov...and very Russian.

The only reason I may not take it professionally is that I am going to school for Nursing. I can already picture the little kids trying to get my attention "Nurse A-kop..." yeeeeah. Maybe I could just be Nurse A or something?

His mom and sister have both already shortened their last names to Akopjan, so I guess that is always an option as well!

alanna91

I'm definitely going to hyphenate it. I would keep it completely, but I know it means a lot to him to take on his last name. And it means a lot to me too...it will connect us!

Aside from an estranged cousin, there are no more males (who are might have children) with my family's last name! The last name basically ends with me.

I don't know if my children will have hyphenated names, but I'm sure one of them will have it as a middle name.

I get called by my last name a lot (like, Cadet LastName) and it means a lot to me!

I never knew people replaced their middle names with their maiden names, that's interesting. I think I'll still keep my middle name.

tmacwin

I'll definitely take BFs name.  I like the unity that it brings, for just the two of us and when we have kids.  I hadn't put much thought to my middle name, but now that I think about it, I really like my last name, and think I might decide to make it my middle name.

jeanacorina

I took his last name. Like Elle, I decided that long, long ago... before I even knew DH. I always knew I'd take my husband's name. I always wanted to.

I wanted to have the same name as my husband and kids. To me, DH is my family now. I didn't lose my relationship with my parents or their families, but DH and I are now our own family unit. I wanted my name to reflect that.

Now, if he didn't have such a long (and really attractive) name, I might have discussed having us BOTH change our names to either a hyphen or a smushed-together version of our last names. But, he happens to have a really rockin' last name that sounds great with my first name. My maiden name was short and sweet, but I never did really like it much. So, to me... the poetry was more important than some token show of gender equality. DH and I know we are equal, no matter what name we have.

MLekathLEEN

I will be taking FI's last name and have never actually thought of keeping my maiden. My maiden name is apparently hard to pronounce. It wasn't until high school did I realize that if I added a letter, people would say it correctly.

Plus I'll be moving from S to B and that excites me.

PaigeMcC

I like my last name but I will be taking FBD.  It's unique and I think it's neat.  We'll be one of only two H*&^#($*'s in the province - his parents are the others.