Calling your boyfriend "hubby"

wintek10

Hi Everyone!

I have lurked for a while, and would like your opinion. 

What do you think of women who call their boyfriends "hubby"? I have a friend who has been dating a guy for 11 months, and she constantly refers to him as "hubby." She also refers to his sister as her sister in law, and mother as mother in law, etc. 

I think its weird for several reasons. First of all, because they aren't engaged/married, so he is technically not her husband (same for the sister/mother in law as well). Secondly, I think that calling them these names shows (in a way) that she is not happy with the way her relationship currently is. Enjoy your relationship as it is. I don't even refer to my FI as my hubby (again, because he is not. Same goes for his family). I think its kinda BSC (okay, a lot). What does everyone else think? 

bethsmiles

I agree with your line of thinking. She is probably pressuring him to get engaged/married. I don't call my BF hubby or his parents FILs or anything like that. It would be too weird.

Wrkn925

My BF uses names like this in private, and correcting him just rains on his parade, so I stopped.  He does it jokingly and lovingly, so I just go along with it.
I think he would be embarassed if he ever accidently used those names in front of them.

verymegv

wellllll i definitely don't call my future family any kind of "in-law" yet, but i'll refer to my FI as "hubs" on the boards, or things like that. but i don't really refer to him as hubby to anyone in public....that seems a little strange.

to me, hubby is just another term of endearment, and not necessarily reserved for just a husband, although i see where that would make sense.

but to constantly refer to your BF as hubby would be strange to me. once in a while, in a private setting would be fine.

blah, seems strange. my FI is not "my man, my hubby, my hubs, my FI". i refer to him as Rob to my friends and family.

SeaTea02

When I first met my BF and his twin we were wittle beebees of 14. I used to call both of them hubby 1 and hubby 2 because I thought they would be perfect husbands due to their sweet personalities. Once I started dating BF it kind of stuck. I harly ever call him that, but sometimes I even still call his brother hubby 2. I think in general it has become more of an endearing term in the past few years. I think if your friend was actually saying HUSBAND it would be weird. Also BFs mom calls me FDIL when she introduces me... but we aren't engaged (I do not do this).

jemmini6

I never referred to FI as "hubby" when we were just dating, but my friends would.  They'd always ask me how my husband was....jokingly, of course, but I guess it was pretty obvious to everyone that we were going to get married.  I think it's relatively okay when it's in a joking/sarcastic tone, but if she is literally referring to him as her "hubby" all the time, then yes, totally BSC.

desertsun

"Hubby" and "hubs" are diminutives of "husband." They all mean the same thing. They all refer to a man to whom you are LEGALLY MARRIED. 

I find it irritating when people misuse those words to refer to a boyfriend or fiance.

musikbx

LOL, so... is it bad that I sometimes refer to my boyfriend as "wifey"?

calindi

My boyfriend refers to himself as my "hubby" but I always correct him.  Weirdly, he never calls me "wifey", just refers to himself as my "hubby".  His friends also often will refer to him as my "hubby", as in "We're stealing your hubby for the evening."  I just feel weird when I hear it, partially because I look forward to the day when I can call him that and know that he IS my "hubby".  So no, I don't use it and think it's weird when I see others refer to their significant other as "hubby".

Musikbx, I think that's funny that you call him "wifey" - that'd make me laugh if I heard one of my friends calling their guy that.

AudgiePodge

I'd roll my eyes if I heard any of my friends called their BF that, but what they call each other in private isn't any of my business. I, personally, would never call my husband that. I told BF that if he calls be 'wifey' I will punch him in the gut, then pinch his nips.

loopy82

I really really dislike the word "hubby" so I never (before getting married) or ever imagine calling DH hubby.

As far as pet names that people have for their SO's I usually take with a grain of salt. DH and I were referred to by Husbsnd or Wife before being married. That was usually by his married friends though.

My guy friends tend to refer to their GF's as their "Lady Friend." They are weird though.

zipis1

Like Loopy I really dislike the word "hubby." Just say husband, darn it! Same with preggers/prego. It's not cute. It's irritating.

Anyway, rant aside, I agree with you in that it suggests to me that she is not happy with the current status of her relationship, and is trying to make it sound "more serious." Which is lame.

desertsun

I find it more irritating when the people IN the relationship use those terms. It's not so bad when it's friends using them jokingly. But when the BF or GF uses them in all seriousness....No. Just...No.

Beads921

Our friends will often refer to us as husband and wife, but we're really just the only serious couple in the group (have been for a long time now), and the names just developed naturally as a joke. I don't call him my husband and he doesn't call me his wife, though. I do refer to his family members as in-laws when I talk about them to other people (like my girlfriends, who know they aren't really ILs) - it's just easier that way, but I know it's technically incorrect and I'd never use it with strangers or anything. 

lmwilber

Given the fact that they have only been dating 11 months, referring to his family as the 'in-laws' (esp if she does this in their presence) is worse then calling him 'hubby'. I think that both are pretty bad. She might think she's being sly about it, but she's really just showing how insecure she is with her current situation. If she can't be happy being his girlfriend, she won't be happy being his wife.

Elle1036

Is it possible that your friend genuinely doesn't know that "hubby" is shortened form of "husband"?

It sounds ridiculous, but I've heard of this happening for real.

If she does know, then I think it's a little ridiculous, but to each her own.  BF and I have some stupid nicknames for each other, so I won't judge.

paperllama

My boyfriend is the same way. He'll call me "wifey" sometimes, and usually I'll reply with "Okay, hubby." It's all in good fun. Usually he'll say it teasingly if I nag him about something silly (such as strowing his dirty clothes on the floor by the bed instead of walking the 10 feet to the hamper).

However, I wouldn't want to make a habit out of it. It seems like it would take away some of the excitement of calling him "hubby" (or vice versa) when we're married.

wintek10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_calling-boyfriend-hubby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:84b0d2b1-60f5-4af2-a76b-fbfec71a8bafPost:0dbdc68a-ca37-4593-b2aa-364c3233f0f5">Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby"</a>:
[QUOTE]Given the fact that they have only been dating 11 months, referring to his family as the 'in-laws' (esp if she does this in their presence) is worse then calling him 'hubby'. I think that both are pretty bad. <strong>She might think she's being sly about it, but she's really just showing how insecure she is with her current situation. If she can't be happy being his girlfriend, she won't be happy being his wife.</strong>
Posted by lmwilber[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Imwilber: I could not have said it better myself! </div><div>
</div><div>She is 100% serious when she calls him hubby. She posts it on Facebook, and refers to him as her hubby and his family as her in-laws to everyone (friends, professors, strangers, etc). I thought it was pretty crazy, but I wasn't sure if I was over-reacting. </div><div>
</div><div>*Edit* She has been referring to him as "hubby" for a while too, almost 3 months now. Funny, she started calling him that a few days after FI and I got engaged... </div>

LizzyTish88

I hate the "hubby" and "wifey" thing. It irritates the hell out of me. I will never call BF it ever because it's that annoying to me.

I have a friend on facebook that has been with a girl maybe 3 months? And he calles her his "wifey" and she calls him "hubby". His info even says "I love my future wife/ I have the best future wife ever!" I mean come on, it's been three months!! /rant

Well I love my future DIL's dog's puppy, so there!

PaigeMcC

I hate the word hubby or the word wifey.   I hate them even more when people use them seriously to refer to their SO on a daily basis.  Be content with what you have.  Oh and use real words because hubby isn't a real word.

Starlight Kel

I never really cared that much to think about it.  I'd say the crazy part sounds like calling HIS family In-laws.  I can see saying hubby or wifey once in a while if they are ok with it.  She probably is trying to rush it though.

On a side note- I don't think I could get used to calling BF's mom anything besides "BF's mom" lol. 

mellimel19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_calling-boyfriend-hubby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:84b0d2b1-60f5-4af2-a76b-fbfec71a8bafPost:5e659703-9352-4a92-a02b-c5a209055837">Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby"</a>:
[QUOTE]hubby is just another term of endearment, and not necessarily reserved for just a husband, although i see where that would make sense.
Posted by verymegv[/QUOTE]

I kind of agree with this statement. While I'm sure that some women do use it in a passive aggressive way or that it does indicate for some women that they aren't happy with the relationship as is, from my experience, people just use in as another term of endearment in a lighthearted way. For instance, long before we were engaged, FI's best friend would often ask what "you and the hubby are up to for the weekend" or if he'd ask if we wanted to hang out, I'd say "gotta check with the hubby." Just all in good fun. Sometimes I think we tend to overthink these types of things.

Blue & White

yeeea, definitely a bit on the insane pressuring scale, it sounds like.  I also find that people calling each other "hubby" don't really value the relationship for what it is.  And I'm about 99% sure there's abuse in the ONE relationship I can think of where "hubby" and "wifey" are used regularly.  That's a whole other story though

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_calling-boyfriend-hubby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:84b0d2b1-60f5-4af2-a76b-fbfec71a8bafPost:b81a421a-e3d1-4398-b1ec-d92df57d85c8">Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby"</a>:
[QUOTE]Like Loopy I really dislike the word "hubby." Just say husband, darn it! <strong>Same with preggers/prego. It's not cute. It's irritating.</strong> Anyway, rant aside, I agree with you in that it suggests to me that she is not happy with the current status of her relationship, and is trying to make it sound "more serious." Which is lame.
Posted by zipis1[/QUOTE]

I agree... I think that preggers/prego is such an annoying term...

but as for 'hubby' & 'wifey'...  Mel is right... we tend to overthink these things... BF & I don't call each other these names but our friends do or we'll tease each other and call each other our husband or wife...

My mother, in all seriousness, calls BF her future son-in-law CONSTANTLY!... We went to her house on Saturday and one of her friends was over, whom BF had never met and she introduced him as FSIL...I've asked BF if it bothers him that my mother introduces him that way and he couldnt care less...  my father calls him his son-in-law... we've made such a joke out of it that all parents/siblings are in our phones as MIL, FIL, SIL...  

but BF & I and our families have known each other for over 20 years... so its natural for us... I guess there is a level of comfort despite the fact that we've been together 11 months...

lmwilber

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_calling-boyfriend-hubby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:84b0d2b1-60f5-4af2-a76b-fbfec71a8bafPost:0a747cb1-2ca7-4ddb-8ed1-c5837b40db37">Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby" : Imwilber: I could not have said it better myself!  She is 100% serious when she calls him hubby. She posts it on Facebook, and refers to him as her hubby and his family as her in-laws to everyone (friends, professors, strangers, etc). I thought it was pretty crazy, but I wasn't sure if I was over-reacting.<strong>  *Edit* She has been referring to him as "hubby" for a while too, almost 3 months now. Funny, she started calling him that a few days after FI and I got engaged... </strong>
Posted by wintek10[/QUOTE]
I think she's very insecure in her relationship. She might get away with stuff like this now, esp if she and BF are still in the 'honeymoon' phase. But as soon as he realises she 's BSC he could bolt. She really is risking driving a good guy (I'm assuming) away.

mzm153

In Brazil, where my parents are from, you can call your SO's relatives ILs because over there it doesn't mean you're gonna marry your SO in the future. However, even there calling your BF husband is not quite okay. I know that here you shouldn't do that so that's why I caution my mom not to do it.

oceana919

I call ricky "wifey" all the time...is that bad?

katanne9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_calling-boyfriend-hubby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:84b0d2b1-60f5-4af2-a76b-fbfec71a8bafPost:269e836c-55e5-40d5-a01e-23960d0b283d">Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby"</a>:
[QUOTE]I call ricky "wifey" all the time...is that bad? :/
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]


Nope!!


This is the same realm as "future baby daddy".

citygirllovescountryboy

I call my BF's parents mom & dad because literally they are like my second family. And his mom's mom/his grandma everyone calls her Nana, and she pretty much insisted that I call her that the night that I met her. However BF would get really annoyed if I called him anything other than just babe or darlin'.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_calling-boyfriend-hubby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:84b0d2b1-60f5-4af2-a76b-fbfec71a8bafPost:530beca7-ce54-4943-aee8-974729f806e2">Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Calling your boyfriend "hubby" : I kind of agree with this statement. While I'm sure that some women do use it in a passive aggressive way or that it does indicate for some women that they aren't happy with the relationship as is, <strong>from my experience, people just use in as another term of endearment in a lighthearted way.</strong> For instance, long before we were engaged, FI's best friend would often ask what "you and the hubby are up to for the weekend" or if he'd ask if we wanted to hang out, I'd say "gotta check with the hubby." Just all in good fun. <strong>Sometimes I think we tend to overthink these types of things.</strong>
Posted by mellimel19[/QUOTE]

That's exactly the issue that I have -- people use "hubby" in a lighthearted way, and people seem to think that it's just like any other term of endearment.

It's not. HUBBY = HUSBAND.
<a href="http://www.yourdictionary.com/hubby" rel="nofollow">http://www.yourdictionary.com/hubby</a>

Personally, as someone who went to the trouble to <strong>actually</strong> marry my husband, I don't like when unmarried people use terms that don't apply to them. I find it inappropriate and disrespectful.

Jokes are one thing. But thinking it's okay to use "hubby" as a term of endearment like "honey" is not okay.

wintek10

I don't think it is a term of endearment. I look at it this way: if you started calling some guy you liked your boyfriend, when he clearly is not, people would think you are BSC... but why is calling someone your husband, who clearly is not, okay?