So here's the back story:
Went ring shopping in July. I knew it'd be a while until bf was able to pay for the ring. In the meantime I had my BSC moments, but found my center here.
Bf said March was a good month to propose. So I assumed it was our Cruise. Then lately, he said we'll be engaged before the cruise, then it was February. He was being a little secretive about vday, so I had a hunch that's when it would be. Especially after he told me the ring was ready to be picked up vday, but I was trying really hard to be patient and not think about it.
Now for the story:
Yesterday started off BADLY. BF was up most of the night. He napped Sunday, and couldn't turn his brain off at night. He sometimes struggles with nightmares from being in combat so I'm used to his sudden jolts awake. It was really bad sunday night, so he said he was going for a drive to clear his head. I was being insercure and thought he was starting to have second guesses about us, the house, the pending engagement. So I was half awake while he went on his drive, but he came home and seemed better.. I was a little grumpy getting up after he snoozed for an hour and decided not to go into work on time. We texted after a while, and he said he drove to the house lot on his drive. He said he could see his kids, and our kids running up the hill, playing, and us raising a family there. That he's never been so sure about the future in his life. I about cried.
At work I was ok and not thinking about the secret plans my BF had hinted about or how mushie he was being. Then my mother calls, asking if I saw BF's FB post. My mom is retired and stalkes us via FB. I told her I saw what he posted on my page, she said no on his. I can't get FB at work, so no, I hadn't seen it. She reads it to me... "Today is the day I show and tell someone how much they mean to me. Happy Valentines Day". Mom asked him if it's what she thinks it is, and he said soon mama, soon.
From then on I tried to not focus on this... TRIED REALLY HARD. I asked him if I should go home or can I hit the gym. He said go to the gym then we'll go out. When I get home, I see... my bf in PJs standing in the balcony window. I think it was then that I knew this wasn't what I was expecting.
I get in and he said happy valentine's day. Then told me my "big present" wasn't done but he had the card from last year I never got. He told me he didn't give it to me because he was scared. But now he's ready to "pull all his eggs in one basket" and couldn't wait for our future together. So of course I cried.
So then, I asked if we were going anywhere so I knew if I should get ready. He said yea we have a few options. I'm like huh?! He forgot to make reservations and was just going to wing it. I kind of got upset. I knew my big present was the ring, but even if he didn't have it, we should still have plans. I really didn't care IF we did anything on vday, but don't tell me you have something to do, and not have anything. I felt like he didn't have plans for the proposal, so I was upset.
Finally he told me. the plan was to get me out of work early, and we had reservations on a cruise in the inner harbor. He cancelled them since there wasn't a ring. Boy talk about feeling like a brat. He was upset, and was trying to go get the ring and propose anyway. I guess it was done, just not before the cruise would have taken off. But I begged him to wait, and give it to me another day. Yes, I talked him out of proposing last night. I really didn't want to asked on vday... but he had a cute plan.
I didn't realize how excited I got thinking it was THE DAY until I realized how disappointed I got it wasn't. He said it'll be this weekend. He's not really going to try and hide the details since when he did they went to pot. I feel bad, like I should do something nice for him tonight.
Anyway, so that's my vday story. We are calling it our "almost engagement day"
my 2012 shelf: