Justifying Wedding Planning.

lynnmarie21

My long term boyfriend is going into the Navy in May. I already ruined one proposal by finding out, and he is planning something new after he graduates from training.

However, I have this idea in my head that because I really don't know when he is goingto go away or for how long, I need to have a plan all set for a wedding so it is easier to plan on a short notice or in a specific amount of time.

I guess this is the first step in me trying to figure out living on military times for years to come. Is this justifiable, or am I just worrying too much?

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:58a89b87-9e7f-4ffe-9463-6fe14be0e428">Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]My long term boyfriend is going into the Navy in May. I already ruined one proposal by finding out, and he is planning something new after he graduates from training. However, I have this idea in my head that because I really don't know when he is goingto go away or for how long, I need to have a plan all set for a wedding so it is easier to plan on a short notice or in a specific amount of time. I guess this is the first step in me trying to figure out living on military times for years to come. Is this justifiable, or am I just worrying too much?
Posted by lynnmarie21[/QUOTE]

<div>You're worrying too much. <div>
</div><div>Wait for your BF to propose and then begin planning your wedding. </div></div>

beanbot2002

You're jumping ahead of things. Wait till the proposal comes THEN plan the wedding. Weren't you here before? I thought we went over this already, or is there just an influx of girls waiting for their seaman to propose lately?

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:934d5de5-c799-479f-af03-563da04442c5">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]You're jumping ahead of things. Wait till the proposal comes THEN plan the wedding. Weren't you here before? I thought we went over this already, or is there just an influx of girls waiting for their <strong>seaman </strong>to propose lately?
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

<div>Hehe</div>

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:934d5de5-c799-479f-af03-563da04442c5">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]You're jumping ahead of things. Wait till the proposal comes THEN plan the wedding. Weren't you here before? I thought we went over this already, or is there just an influx of girls waiting for their seaman to propose lately?
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

<div>I swear we just did this exact same story.</div>

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:0dc1b15c-b33f-4d51-aa86-cc85e260cd6f">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : Hehe
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls97z6L0VP1r0twc5o1_400.gif" alt="" />

Peaseblossom55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:0dc1b15c-b33f-4d51-aa86-cc85e260cd6f">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : Hehe
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

I had the same reaction when I read bean's response too. Yea I'm mature....

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:84dd7cb9-ea9d-4957-b579-8af5be674999">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : I swear we just did this exact same story.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

Ok, so I'm not crazy. I was thinking, "Didn't we JUST go through this last week??"

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:1a6abc42-3913-4b4b-94fb-50d6a518895f">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : I had the same reaction when I read bean's response too. Yea I'm mature....
Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

Inciting school girl giggles at the mention of 'seamen' = mission accomplished.

Peaseblossom55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:a2d8bdbb-1f97-45f5-b27b-450a7a81dfb4">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : Inciting school girl giggles at the mention of 'seamen' = mission accomplished.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

<3 you!

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:db113bd7-4528-4c0e-9ecd-b581b2880b01">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : <3 you!
Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

Awwww shucks! I love you, too!

K Everdeen12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:58a89b87-9e7f-4ffe-9463-6fe14be0e428">Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]My long term boyfriend is going into the Navy in May.<strong> I already ruined one proposal by finding out, and he is planning something new after he graduates from training. </strong>However, I have this idea in my head that because I really don't know when he is goingto go away or for how long, I need to have a plan all set for a wedding so it is easier to plan on a short notice or in a specific amount of time. I guess this is the first step in me trying to figure out living on military times for years to come. Is this justifiable, or am I just worrying too much?
Posted by lynnmarie21[/QUOTE]

<div>Huh?  He actually didn't propose because you "ruined" it? I definitely would not be counting on marrying this person if that's his response to you ruining a surprise by just finding out about it.  </div>

Blue & White

My sister planned her military wedding in 4 months.  It's totally possible.

You should really just start preparing yourself for the very real possibility that your groom might not show up.  It's hard to get time off in the military, even if you already have your wedding planned.  So maybe study up your contracts law so you don't screw yourself out of thousands of dollars.

There is absolutely no reason (not even a justifiable one) to start wedding planning before you're engaged.  None.  Don't even think there is.

Hummingbird125

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:c1ecb95f-fd06-4f81-ae78-0217aec96a54">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Justifying Wedding Planning. : Huh?  He actually didn't propose because you "ruined" it? I definitely would not be counting on marrying this person if that's his response to you ruining a surprise by just finding out about it.  
Posted by K Everdeen12[/QUOTE]

<div>You're telling her to not plan on marrying him because he might want her proposal to be a surprise? Seriously? </div>

thejucheidea

I'd like to see where this goes if you post it on Military Brides.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:84e5207e-c683-4a07-a0ac-89bbb92d8ff9">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : You're telling her to not plan on marrying him because he might want her proposal to be a surprise? Seriously? 
Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

<div>No, she's saying that his response to her finding out was to hold it over her head like a bad child.  "You screwed up now you don't get it."  That's immature, and I definitely wouldn't be marrying him if that was his response to me.</div>

buddysmom80

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:1b98482d-0a6c-43b3-82c9-81c4f9b6d53b">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]You won't find any validation here. The only things you NEED for a wedding are the two of you, an officiant, a witness, and a document that says you're legally married; the rest is just gravy. Enjoy this time in your relationship; you will never get this time back. If you are spending this time before your long-term boyfriend is about to go into the Navy essentially wasting your time planning for an event that is not even definitely happening yet (no proposal, no wedding), you're missing out on a lot of moments the two of you could be sharing prior to a huge, life-changing event for the two of you -- his commitment to the Armed Forces. 
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

THIS!  My friend was getting ready to be deployed to Iraq (again).  His fiance planned a nice wedding in about two months during a really busy time of year for weddings (September??).  And this was in Connecticut.  It can be done.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:c5c56d46-69e9-4b30-9f17-46f1a3d585df">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]if you need to justify planning your wedding, you probably shouldn' be doing it.<strong> What about your SO? Don't you think HE might want a say in the plans? Since it's, you know, his wedding too?</strong>
Posted by buggle2[/QUOTE]

<div>And you know, if he didn't propose because you found out about it, he might not marry you because you started planning before you were engaged.</div>

Hummingbird125

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:e0332529-2285-4174-8831-d24cc6d08528">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : No, she's saying that his response to her finding out was to hold it over her head like a bad child.  "You screwed up now you don't get it."  That's immature, and I definitely wouldn't be marrying him if that was his response to me.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>That's not how I interpreted it. I just read it as he had a surprise proposal planned, but she found out about it, so he wants to plan something new in order to surprise her. </div>

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:b99a86a4-eeda-4002-a9d1-634d24b01186">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : That's not how I interpreted it. I just read it as he had a surprise proposal planned, but she found out about it, so he wants to plan something new in order to surprise her. 
Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

<div>Her use of the word "ruined" says otherwise.</div><div>
</div>

K Everdeen12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_justifying-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:872eca22-160a-46d8-bd7b-847de7124a68Post:84e5207e-c683-4a07-a0ac-89bbb92d8ff9">Re: Justifying Wedding Planning.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Justifying Wedding Planning. : You're telling her to not plan on marrying him because he might want her proposal to be a surprise? Seriously? 
Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

<div><div>No, more like what Peek said.  I mean if someone is going to have that kind of reaction to their SO finding out about a surprise proposal (it seems like it wasn't *that* recent, so in my mind I don't get why he STILL hasn't proposed), I doubt there is the level of maturity there to roll with the punches - something one should be able to do as an adult.  </div><div>
</div><div>Also, since she knows that he thinks that she "ruined" the whole thing, I can imagine there is something else going on - like holding it over her head that they *would* be engaged right now, if only she hadn't "ruined" it.  I say ruined in quotes because I think that it's completely absurd that one would ever think a proposal is ruined because the other person figures out what's going on before the person says "will you marry me?"  (I mean I also think that no proposal should come as a complete surprise, so there's that, too.)</div></div>

Hummingbird125

Oh yeah, I'd would not be happy if my BF delayed proposing for months and months just because I "ruined" a suprise. I was just giving them the benefit of the doubt :-)

Shiroyasha

If you feel the need to justify planning a wedding, then you really shouldn't plan it.  You aren't engaged.  Just enjoy your relationship as it is.  Stop waiting for him to propose and preplanning what could very much change.  Don't preplan because you don't know what is going to happen. And it's just a little crazy.