FI and I used to share a house with one of my best friends, S.
The house belonged to my brother, and he rented it to FI and I when he and his family had to move for his job and they didn't want to sell b/c of the way the market is.
I used to invite S to a lot of family gatherings b/c she didn't have family in town. We had so much in common. Kindred spirits in a lot of ways. I considered her family and told her so on many occasions.
So, I fully trusted S to hold up her end of being a good roommate in my brother's house, and so my brother trusted her too. We did not require any kind of deposit, lease, etc. She was allowed to paint her room with the understanding she would do a good job and do any touch ups needed when she moved out.
Well, things did not go well. Eventually, I told her that I wasn't sure our friendship could survive, and I wanted to still be friends, so we might want to talk about alternate living arrangements. I think she viewed that as a threat to kick her out. It wasn't meant that way at all. But it devolved into a shouting fight shortly after that.
I thought we resolved it, and though there were a couple other incidents, I thought we were still friends and would remain friends despite not being good roommates.
The understanding at the time she moved in (and we had several other conversations about it) was that she would look for a new place once she finished school.
So, she moved out a couple months after the shouting fight. My FI gave his day off and the use of his truck and muscles to help her move.
I didn't hear from her when she was coming back to clean and stuff, so I left her a note asking her to do a couple things in common areas, like clean all her stuff out of the fridge, clean a couple shelves in the fridge, and mop the kitchen floor. I assumed she would clean her room and bathroom. I didn't ask her to do anything in the living room or office. I thought it was like moving out of any place you rent -- you clean up after you move out.
Well, she did a real half-assed cleaning job and left behind all kinds of crap. Actual trash as well as stuff she didn't want but was too lazy to throw away. She also did not do the painting she had promised to do from day one.
So, I tried contacting her by phone and email, explaining that I was upset about it, that I felt she had betrayed a trust and behaved in a thoroughly disrespectful way, and that I was really hurt and wanted to be friends, but needed an explanation for her behavior. I acknowledged that I am not perfect, so if I had done something, I would appreciate her telling me what and giving me a chance to make it right.
She never contacted me.
I still don't know if she had decided the friendship was over previously or if she got pissed about me leaving her a to do list and then pissed about me confronting her or what.
Haven't spoken to her since before she moved out.
We stayed friends on facebook, which gave me hope that one day we could be actual friends again. I really miss her. We used to have SO much fun together. But I am still hurting over what happened.
Today she de-friended me on facebook.
It breaks my heart.