Where does this come from?

RWS2011

I have lurked on numerous boards on TK, and noticed something come up often on WR boards.  I want to understand where these posters are coming from:  "ZOMG! I NEED A THEME!!!!"  Is there a wedding book, guru, secret bride-to-be handshake that says you need an overarching theme for your wedding?  When that time comes for me, I am pretty sure my theme will be: I am marrying the man I love.

I don't mean to come off sounding abrasive on the topic, but it does strike me as unnecessary.  I will add that I know couples want to incorporate things that are meaningful to them, which seems natural.  But others are naming their weddings things like "The Light of my Life," and everything is all lit up and sparkly.  To me, that makes it seem like more of a production, than a meaningful social/spiritual event.

Are people looking to themes as a way of personalizing their wedding celebration? 

Where did the concept of having a "theme wedding" come from?

Did/does anyone here have a theme and what prompted it?  

Tell me I'm being a heartless bitch, if warranted.  

desertsun

I think some people are just really INTO party planning and having a "concept" and they just go all gung ho.

i always say it's best to be honest with yourself from the get go, and plan your wedding according to just how "into it" you realistically think you will be.

I knew I wouldn't have the patience/interest that some people do in DIY and paper goods and themes and things, so I personally kept it pretty simple.

People celebrate in different ways and different things are meaningful for different people. *shrug*

Blue & White

I think the origin of "themes" is possibly...childhood birthday parties?  I'm reading a book right now where they're throwing this big dinosaur-themed birthday party, so that's where I'm getting my info (it's fiction, so I could be completely off-base)

Themed weddings can be done well, but if they're not done well, they're pretty tacky.  I also think that it needs to be pretty explicitly explained why I'm seated at the "Paris" table instead of "table 4".  What's so special about Paris?!

  Weddings are entertaining to watch, though.  Don't get too crazed about it, and the wedding itself will be awesome.

Swazzle

The theme of my wedding is: wedding.

lennonkdc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:18a262cb-6c43-4c45-9fcc-cc0390674c22">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]The theme of my wedding is: wedding.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS x 1 million.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

motoLyn

My theme... party like its going out of style....

bethsmiles

Some people like themes. I personally don't see the point in having a theme at a wedding but if it's not my wedding why the hell should I care?

beanbot2002

Donald and I have already decided. When we get hitched, our theme is going to be: Shi!t Ton o' Booze. I just hope there's a stripper for me to throw up on.

BrittneyRN

The theme of my wedding will be: thank God we're finally getting married because I feel like I've been engaged for a decade.

lunarsongbird

Proms are also usually themed. Maybe people want to have a grown up prom.

Although- I think a lot of people like the look of a cohesive concept- like not having seashells with lollipops, gold glitter and snow flakes.

desertsun

I don't think themes have to be overdone or overwrought. Oceana had a beautiful, tasteful ocean theme for her wedding that was significant to her and her husband.

peekaboo2011

My theme is PHILADELPHIA EAGLES:

peekandyaga.weebly.com

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:701574f3-516a-4ddf-91d6-97112f2b4614">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]My theme is PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: peekandyaga.weebly.com
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Clearly, that's my best picture. Ever.</div>

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:701574f3-516a-4ddf-91d6-97112f2b4614">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]My theme is PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: peekandyaga.weebly.com
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

STILL. FUNNY!

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:701574f3-516a-4ddf-91d6-97112f2b4614">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]My theme is PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: peekandyaga.weebly.com
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

Love it still!

CASK85

We had a theme in that all our decor was autumn-ish. Although I didn't make it something cheesey like "fall-ing in love" or what have you. I dare say our wedding wasn't tacky in any of the ways that the phrase "theme wedding" tends to evoke. But neither are most people's that I've seen photos of. Like Lunar said, it is nice to have some cohesion or a look that you're going for, which gets called a "theme" for lack of a better word, I think. . . 

LaSak87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:92ee274b-24e8-4a5b-aded-4326c0a88126">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]Donald and I have already decided. When we get hitched, our theme is going to be: Shi!t Ton o' Booze. I just hope there's a stripper for me to throw up on.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]
Yes....me!

audrewuh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:701574f3-516a-4ddf-91d6-97112f2b4614">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]My theme is PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: peekandyaga.weebly.com
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>I can't wait. </div><div>
</div><div>On the theme subject, yes there are some very enthusiastic knotties who are so into their beach theme that they're showering their guests in sand and bikinis, but over all, I think the theme is more of a cohesive idea so things stay classy. </div>

RWS2011

LOL at beanbot.

Like I said, I wasn't trying to be too harsh about it and maybe it is just a matter of semantics.  It makes sense to want to have a cohesive look and meaningful  touches to your wedding.  These can be derived from shared moments, important personal moments, season or location of your event.  I did not mean to imply that any of those things were tacky.  Such as the example desert gave of a friend whose theme had personal meaning and was a lovely event.

  

What I was and still am weary of is the idea that you can't start out your wedding planning until you have a named theme.  If this isn't your style or does not have personal meaning why are people feeling the need to make something up?  I was just wondering is this is another great evil passed down from the wedding industry, bent on driving susceptible women nuts as they try to plan their "perfect" wedding?

As a side note, desert, I always liked the diplomacy of your posts.  I remember seeing you around more when I first started lurking.  You don't come around as much any more, and I miss what you add to the board!

kaitlynmichelle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:701574f3-516a-4ddf-91d6-97112f2b4614">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]My theme is PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: peekandyaga.weebly.com
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahahahaha this is still awesome</div>

leia1979

I only don't like it when someone feels like they must have a theme for no good reason. I had a color scheme but no theme.

One of my friends didn't have a theme but did tables named for restaurants. For example, all the bridesmaids went to high school together, and our table was named after a restaurant we went to all the time for lunch. The bride's med school friends sat at a table named for some restaurant they went to all the time. I thought that was fun.

doubleSS07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:92ee274b-24e8-4a5b-aded-4326c0a88126">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]Donald and I have already decided. When we get hitched, our theme is going to be: Shi!t Ton o' Booze. I just hope there's a stripper for me to throw up on.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

Um HI can I like send you my address for future reference and get an invite to this snazzy shindig? This is a theme I could really get in to! kthanx

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:ed5706b5-72c9-45f6-9f58-15c07495cf5a">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a theme in that all our decor was autumn-ish. Although I didn't make it <strong>something cheesey like "fall-ing in love" or what have you</strong>. I dare say our wedding wasn't tacky in any of the ways that the phrase "theme wedding" tends to evoke. But neither are most people's that I've seen photos of. Like Lunar said, it is nice to have some cohesion or a look that you're going for, which gets called a "theme" for lack of a better word, I think. . . 
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]


Does this mean "Dansih Man & Lyn are getting Maui'D" is cheesy....... since you know we're getting married in Maui?  I thought we were hipster punching friends.... *sad face*

tuarceatha

http://youtu.be/Ut8kwaKvZc0

Do you remember MJ's Thriller video and they had like the zombies? I want that, only like with a flash mob.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:239ac80a-6bd1-400b-a685-d9a25da1e41a">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL at beanbot. Like I said, I wasn't trying to be too harsh about it and maybe it is just a matter of semantics.  It makes sense to want to have a cohesive look and meaningful  touches to your wedding.  These can be derived from shared moments, important personal moments, season or location of your event.  I did not mean to imply that any of those things were tacky.  Such as the example desert gave of a friend whose theme had personal meaning and was a lovely event.    What I was and still am weary of is the idea that you can't start out your wedding planning until you have a named theme.  If this isn't your style or does not have personal meaning why are people feeling the need to make something up?  I was just wondering is this is another great evil passed down from the wedding industry, bent on driving susceptible women nuts as they try to plan their "perfect" wedding? As a side note, desert, I always liked the diplomacy of your posts.  I remember seeing you around more when I first started lurking.  You don't come around as much any more, and I miss what you add to the board!
Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>People get competitive about stupid shiit. That's life, man.</div><div>
</div><div>And thanks!

</div>

leia1979

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_where-does-this-come-from?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:891e33e7-5c5e-454e-be95-0baf8a675964Post:e26e99e5-f2c5-421b-993e-670f6120d41a">Re: Where does this come from?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a bird theme but for anyone who knows us, it was very appropriate.  We're such lovebirds.  Birds on the window decor, birds on my necklace, birds on the invites and STDs, placecard, birds on the cake... but we didn't overdo it, I don't think.
Posted by hellotarra[/QUOTE]

Put a bird on it!


Sorry, I couldn't help it.