Kitty Question (long, sorry!)

marleylikeair

Hey, all you furbaby owners! Question for you.

Our cat, Marlon, meows at the bedroom door around 4 or 5 am occasionally. (We don't let him in the bedroom for various reasons, partly our allergies.) I'd say this happens about 2-3 times a week. I know he's just doing it for attention; I always make sure he has food, fresh water, toys out, and a clean litter box before we go to bed. He's always done this, so I'm not worried about it indicating he's sick or anything. (FYI, he's about 8 months old, and we've had him since he was about 6 weeks.)

Until now, my plan has been to just ignore the midnight meowing until he learns he won't get attention this way. I feel like it's worked to some extent, but the problem hasn't gone away totally.

BF is getting really tired of being woken up, and it's time to ramp up our game plan. He wants to start squirting him with the water bottle when he meows at the door. I don't like this idea because (at the risk of sounding like a crazy cat lady), I don't want him to feel like we are punishing him for telling us he's lonely!

I've been reading some stuff on the intarwebz on this. A couple of users say you can squirt water under the door without opening it or giving the kitty any attention otherwise. I'm maybe okay with that; maybe he'll just think "meowing at the door equals water squirt," not "meowing at the door equals negative attention in the form of water squirt from my human."

(Side note: I'd be a bit concerned about the wood floors if we sprayed water under the door. They're 110 years old and waxed, not sealed the way newer floors are, so prolonged moisture strips the coating and leaves ugly bare spots. If I get him to go away and then open the door to wipe up the water, he'll hear the door open--it's loud--and come running back! GAH! I need a windshield wiper for my floor!)

What I'm going to try first is making sure we play with him more during the day and especially right before bed, until he tires out completely, and see if that works. If not, I'm thinking maybe about playing/tiring him out, then putting him in the basement at night, where we can't hear him if he meows. There's a couch down there, it's where his litter box is, and I could put his food, water, toys, and favorite blanket down there. I'm sure he'd do a lot of complaining at first, but maybe he'd adjust and this would be a good way to go.

What do we think? Yea or nay on the under-door squirting (if I can figure a way to get around leaving the floor wet)? The basement idea? Any fantastic ideas I haven't mentioned? I just want all of us to be happy and well rested, and I definitely want to treat my beloved kitty well!

Sorry this got so long. I'd love to read any insights you ladies might have!

ETA: This is going to be kind of a P & R, because, well, I'm officially a crazy cat lady who is up way too late posting on the internet about her cat, and I have to go to bed sometime.

Elle1036

Well, my personal opinion is that you should let Marlon come inside and cuddle (there's nothing like a snuggly kitty in the middle of the night) but since you guys are heartless meanieheads and that's not an option:

I would try keeping a handful of coins, a couple of tennis balls, or some other light, throwable object beside the bed.  When he meows at the door, throw something at the door.  The loud noise will scare him quiet, for at least a moment.  Repeat as necessary.  The meowing should stop after a few nights.  Don't get out of bed and walk to the door.  If he hears your footsteps, he'll know it's you.

nefariousmango

Our cats sleep with us in the winter, but in the summer they're WAY too hot and sticky so we make up the guest bed for them and close our door at night.  Yeah, hairless cats need to sleep under the covers so they're pretty damn spoiled :-)  The first few weeks, they meow at our door, but eventually they learn that it won't get them anywhere and they give up.  If we get up from bed when they cry, it seems to encourage them, even if it's just to open the door and shoo them away.  You have to just ignore him and be patient.  If it really doesn't work, try closing him in another room at night for a while (with food, water, and a litter box, of course).  He'll get the idea, and it's not punishment.

I'm against giving any sort of attention when it comes to modifying "bad" behavior in animals.  I train rescue horses, and the hardest part is re-teaching them that attention is a positive thing so I avoid punishment in any form unless safety is an issue.  If you can keep it so your cat always associates you with positive things, it makes everything else you do with your cat less stressful.  You just have to establish boundaries in ways that are positive for both of you (eg he gets his own space at night, yay!).

All that being said, I do use a shaky can to scare the kitties away from things they need to stay out of, like the trash.  I try to do it from behind so the associate it with the bad place and not with me, and it seems to work really well!

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_kitty-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:89785830-6be0-41f9-96b9-83c5822cea43Post:5eb8ba3b-e424-4510-bcbb-11aadc619d95">Re: Kitty Question (long, sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, my personal opinion is that you should let Marlon come inside and cuddle (there's nothing like a snuggly kitty in the middle of the night) but since you guys are heartless meanieheads and that's not an option: I would try keeping a handful of coins, a couple of tennis balls, or some other light, throwable object beside the bed.  When he meows at the door, throw something at the door.  The loud noise will scare him quiet, for at least a moment.  Repeat as necessary.  The meowing should stop after a few nights.  Don't get out of bed and walk to the door.  If he hears your footsteps, he'll know it's you.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL. Thanks for making me feel even more guilty, Elle!</div><div>
</div><div>I'll definitely put the coin/tennis ball idea on my list. I'm sitting here making a list of ideas to run by BF, starting with the most humane. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /> I'm thinking he (BF) might not like throwing loud objects, but I love that this idea means Marlon wouldn't even hear our footsteps!</div><div>
</div><div>I found another one I like: putting a fan right by the door at night so that if he comes near the door, the air blowing will back him off. I know he'd hate air blowing, so maybe this would work!</div>

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_kitty-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:89785830-6be0-41f9-96b9-83c5822cea43Post:9053c6e1-0506-4ec7-9c8e-2c8273a51b1f">Re: Kitty Question (long, sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Our cats sleep with us in the winter, but in the summer they're WAY too hot and sticky so we make up the guest bed for them and close our door at night.  Yeah, hairless cats need to sleep under the covers so they're pretty damn spoiled :-)  The first few weeks, they meow at our door, but eventually they learn that it won't get them anywhere and they give up.  If we get up from bed when they cry, it seems to encourage them, even if it's just to open the door and shoo them away.  You have to just ignore him and be patient.  If it really doesn't work, try closing him in another room at night for a while (with food, water, and a litter box, of course).  He'll get the idea, and it's not punishment. I'm against giving any sort of attention when it comes to modifying "bad" behavior in animals.  I train rescue horses, and the hardest part is re-teaching them that attention is a positive thing so I avoid punishment in any form unless safety is an issue.  If you can keep it so your cat always associates you with positive things, it makes everything else you do with your cat less stressful.  You just have to establish boundaries in ways that are positive for both of you (eg he gets his own space at night, yay!). All that being said, I do use a shaky can to scare the kitties away from things they need to stay out of, like the trash.  I try to do it from behind so the associate it with the bad place and not with me, and it seems to work really well!
Posted by nefariousmango[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Mango, thank you! This really helps. So maybe my basement idea isn't such a bad one. Hmm.

</div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_kitty-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:89785830-6be0-41f9-96b9-83c5822cea43Post:0e81f494-6acf-4792-8049-3d19d836f31d">Re: Kitty Question (long, sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kitty Question (long, sorry!) : LOL. Thanks for making me feel even more guilty, Elle! I'll definitely put the coin/tennis ball idea on my list. I'm sitting here making a list of ideas to run by BF, starting with the most humane.   I'm thinking he (BF) might not like throwing loud objects, but I love that this idea means Marlon wouldn't even hear our footsteps! I found another one I like: putting a fan right by the door at night so that if he comes near the door, the air blowing will back him off. I know he'd hate air blowing, so maybe this would work!
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Yeah, throwing loud objects in the middle of the night is not exactly good for the sleep cycle, but (if your cat is anything like mine) you don't have to do it for very long.  A couple nights generally does the trick.

Ember01

I have done the throwing of objects in the middle of the night, and it does work. My cats will every once in awhile cry in the middle of the night.

If you are worried about your hardwood floors, could you spread a towel down in front of the door? That might absorb the moisture? My doors are like an inch off the ground (my kitties are able to get a whole paw under the door, which really makes me feel sad that I'm being a big meanie in the middle of the night), so I could put a towel down and still be able to squirt them with a water gun.

When my kitties were kittens, we would leave the TV on for them. That way they had the noise in the middle of the night. This helped also.

I'm not sure playing with the kitty until he tires will work. Cats are nocturnal, so they are naturally up at night.

marleylikeair

Thanks, you guys! BF and I talked this morning and agreed that the fan idea is probably our best bet for a start. We have a box fan around here somewhere, and we're pretty sure Marlon will hate it and stay away from the door.

Ember, thanks for the towel idea, but I don't think it'll work, unfortunately. I've noticed that if I leave something damp on the floor, it strips the coating even worse than water droplets. Hmm. I'm picturing something flat and plastic. Some kind of mat that would fit under the door and cover some floor space outside the door...ah well. Filing that away for now.

Clovester, Marlon loves boxes, too! Maybe when/if we do the basement idea, I'll get a few boxes and leave them down there for him with all the rest of his stuff.

SassyFlats

Okay, magical idea (unless someone else has had it, but doesn't look like they did): Get one of those clear mats/runners that you normally put under office chairs that sit on carpet. The kind with little plastic spiney things on the bottom for grip. Turn it upside-down and lay it outside your door. Kitties usually HATE the texture. It's nothing that will harm him, but will keep him away from the door.

My other suggestion- take some allergy meds in the evening and let him come snuggle, OR, get him a kitty buddy to occupy him when you're unavailable. Maybe those aren't solutions you really want to do, but both have worked for DH and I- two cats are better than one! And kitty snuggles are totally worth some Claritin for me.

Sometimes my tabby wakes me up with head bonks and purring. There's just something about that which is worth waking up at 5am for.

jaycee7389

I like the idea about the office mat turned upside down!

leia1979

I think PPs had some good ideas. I will just add to be patient. My 16 year old (17 in two weeks) still meows at the door in the middle of the night sometimes. She's also spent much of her life sleeping in the garage (in a nice cat bed--we aren't heartless) because she was incapable of keeping quiet.

This is the same cat who learned how to pull my hair to make me get up in the morning to feed her. Cats will do whatever is necessary to get what they want.

marleylikeair

Thanks, you guys! The mat is a great idea. We'll see how things go with the fan.

Report on last night/this morning: We hadn't tracked down a fan yet, but I tried the throwing things method, which did help! He meowed, I threw Glamour Magazine at the door, he stopped and went away for a good half hour. He came back, but I stayed put and reloaded my ammo: a tissue box and a little plastic storage box. He came back, but not for long, so I didn't have to use either.

So I think it's working! Thanks, Elle! Tonight, I'm going to stack up a whole bunch of magazines by the bedside. This method is genius. I think the fact that he doesn't hear us coming is fantastic.

Downside: I didn't go back to sleep, because once I'm that awake, and I have to pee, it's all over. (I didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom because then he'd know meowing gets me up.) So I've been up since 4:30am this morning. YAY!

I'm excited about this method, though! Just gotta get through a few early mornings.

Elle1036

Sucks about not getting back to sleep, Marley, but I'm glad the ammo worked.  With my cats, it only took a couple nights before the behavior ceased.

Now that FI doesn't live here, though, the kitties just sleep with me at night.

MLekathLEEN

Try buying a bouncy ball or two Marley. That way they'll come back once they hit the door and won't be super loud.
 
Just make sure you pick them up in the am otherwise they may try to eat them. Our old dog did this and it wasn't fun.

marleylikeair

Thanks, guys. MLE, good thought. I think the bouncy balls rolling all over and going under the bed might drive me nuts, though. I've got a stack of magazines that should do the trick. But thank you!

Marlon likes to chew on rubber bands, now that you mention it. Weird. I'm always snatching my ponytail holders out of his mouth!