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You're not being serious..right?

Okay, so today my bf had me wanting to slap some sense into him. He got a text from a friend who was selling his guitar and bf (who already has 3, yes 3!) told him he wanted to buy it. In his excitement, he texted me and told me about this amazing opportunity...my response reminded him that he had to pay rent today!  Then when I reminded him of that little note he then still considered buying the guitar because "it was such a great opportunity." Thankfully before he had a chance to talk me into the purchase (there was no chance of this btw :p) someone else bought the guitar.

Now my point here is...WTH? Seriously? You have 3 guitars already, what would possess you to purchase a 4th? Especially when you need that money for rent and gas. (He's not normally like this btw. I guess he just got excited, but still!)

Do your SOs ever do things with their money that just makes you wanna slap some sense into them?
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Re: You're not being serious..right?

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    edited December 2011
    FI has 4 guitars. They all make different sounds and he's really good, so I support him in it. haha
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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    FI is like that with computers and electronics.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
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    edited December 2011
    BF has at least 3 guitars, but he was a music performance major in college so I guess I understand.  His latest thing is camera lenses...now, he's a photographer, so I realize they're for work, but dang, those things are expensive!  He's talking about getting a $2500 lens "because it's a good deal."

    He's pretty good with money, though, overall.  And I really can't complain--I have no idea how expensive his profession really is.  I mean, I'm a professional student/sometimes teacher.  I'm not exactly raking in the dough.
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    edited December 2011
    Why doesnt he just buy you a ring instead?  Seems to me that your life hasnt been perfect for 2 years 1 month 3 weeks and 1 day..
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    edited December 2011
    AARRGGHHH YESS.

    He buys things all the time that make me go, "WHY?!"

    He buys video games and tech gadgets and DVDs that he never watches, but then complains when he doesn't have enough money to pay his cellphone bill.

    (He also has 3 guitars, a keyboard and a trumpet LOL)

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:b26923fc-f204-43cf-9542-bce50a405be9">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why doesnt he just buy you a ring instead?  Seems to me that your life hasnt been perfect for 2 years 1 month 3 weeks and 1 day..
    Posted by noellesidh[/QUOTE]

    <div>'Cause nobody's life is perfect unless they have a ring?  Knew I was missing something somewhere in my life...and here I thought it was decent health insurance and a well-paying job.  Come to find out, all I need is a ring!</div>
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    edited December 2011
    I may be biased here, but I own 9 saxophones. They all have their unique/distinct purposes. I seriously couldn't imagine parting with any of them. Musicians are just weird about their instruments, it's not really something you want to mess with. ;-)

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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI bought a $300 helicopter before Christmas. This was three years after he spent $600 on a remote control car that I told him not to get. The car went crazy and he chased it down the street. A week later the car broke and I said I told you so. Back to the helicopter, I told him not to get it because of the car incident and he said "don't worry, it has a warranty in case it breaks so I'll use it more than the car". After 10 minutes of playing, he chased it down the street and it also went crazy and ran into him, causing him to bleed. It is now broken and sitting in his room waiting to get shipped back to the company to ger repaired. Best part about the helicopter was him telling the people at the company that it "hurt his kid and he's scared to play with it". I also overheard him talking to the helicopter, saying " I don't like you. You hurt people." He owns numerous guitars also. Luckily that's more of his dads obsession than FIs.
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    edited December 2011
    BF just bought a tablet PC. He already has a laptop and a desktop. I was a little angry when he told me. We're moving into an apartment in April and he wanted to blow money on another computer? But then he got a broken tablet for cheap and fixed it himself.
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Narwal, my bf is good at guitar too..but I just don't get having more than an electric and an acoustic, but I'm not a music person. So I guess I just don't get it. :p

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:b26923fc-f204-43cf-9542-bce50a405be9">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why doesnt he just buy you a ring instead?  Seems to me that your life hasnt been perfect for 2 years 1 month 3 weeks and 1 day..
    Posted by noellesidh[/QUOTE]
    And WTH? I don't think I've ever whined/complained/said ANYTHING about how my bf hasn't gotten me a ring and how my life is so sad blah blah blah. I don't care that there isn't a ring on my finger. I'm happy with our relationship as is and the only point of this was to see if my guy was the only one who gets a little crazy about his hobbies. Seriously. No reason to be a biitch.
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think a lot of people do that. BF has a couple guitars, but I'm sure he has no idea why I have so many different pairs of jeans. But gas and rent should get paid off as well too.

    What kinds of guitars does he have? J actually likes to add designs to the ones he gets. He'll buy old ones and fix them up and carve in these crazy designs.
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    edited December 2011
    BF has 2 guitars, a bass, an electric drumset and an acoustic drumset.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:f59dec8f-a393-4b97-853e-aa075dd1bb8f">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Narwal, my bf is good at guitar too..but I just don't get having more than an electric and an acoustic, but I'm not a music person. So I guess I just don't get it. :p In Response to Re: You're not being serious..right? : And WTH? I don't think I've ever whined/complained/said ANYTHING about how my bf hasn't gotten me a ring and how my life is so sad blah blah blah. I don't care that there isn't a ring on my finger. I'm happy with our relationship as is and the only point of this was to see if my guy was the only one who gets a little crazy about his hobbies. Seriously. No reason to be a biitch.
    Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]
    He doesnt love you<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:38478f5e-d2da-45f5-996d-750b00e1c20e">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI bought a $300 helicopter before Christmas. This was three years after he spent $600 on a remote control car that I told him not to get. The car went crazy and he chased it down the street. A week later the car broke and I said I told you so. Back to the helicopter, I told him not to get it because of the car incident and he said "don't worry, it has a warranty in case it breaks so I'll use it more than the car". After 10 minutes of playing, he chased it down the street and it also went crazy and ran into him, causing him to bleed. It is now broken and sitting in his room waiting to get shipped back to the company to ger repaired. <strong>Best part about the helicopter was him telling the people at the company that it "hurt his kid and he's scared to play with it". I also overheard him talking to the helicopter, saying " I don't like you. You hurt people."</strong> He owns numerous guitars also. Luckily that's more of his dads obsession than FIs.
    Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

    OMG? Seriously? That is too funny! Now maybe he'll learn to listen to you. :p
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    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    FI's spending spree is usually with camera stuff.  It's okay with me though because he has the money...if he were running us into the ground I'd be singing a different tune though.
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    edited December 2011
    A lot of musicians tend to do a "leapfrog" sort of thing. Let's say you have two electric guitars. One of them you use all of the time, and another one is your backup. When you find one you like better than the two you currently own, you buy it and sell one of the other two. Then that guitar will become the one you primarily use, but you still have your backup.

    If that makes sense the way I'm explaining it.

    With this method, instruments really start to multiply. If he has an electric and an acoustic, then by this theory he'd have two of each. There are four different types of saxophones, so multiply that by two and you are already at 8 saxophones. Instrument mathematics ;-)

    Long story short, musicians be crazy.

    image
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Bren...I know he has an acoustic and two electrics...that is all I know. hahaha. He's told me the brands or whatever they are several times. I'm just not into that sort of thing. I love to listen to him play, but I don't really know the details. I feel like the one is a Kramer? Or something? Maybe.

    And noelle..just go away.
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    CASK85CASK85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:45d81f64-6602-4b5a-bc07-6270873417bd">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: You're not being serious..right? : He doesnt love you
    Posted by noellesidh[/QUOTE]
    Go away.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:45d81f64-6602-4b5a-bc07-6270873417bd">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: You're not being serious..right? : He doesnt love you
    Posted by noellesidh[/QUOTE]

    Oh my, someone's original. You've been reported.

    Now be gone! Before someone drops a house on you, too!

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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I doubt it lol. I'm just the fiancée who knows nothing about the cool toys he could have. I'm prepping my argument against getting a jetski as we speak. Summer is right around the corner and I need to bring my a game.
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    musikbx...I guess I'd just have to be a musician to get it. :) BTW, the guitar his friend was selling was also an electric (and not as good as the two he has). I asked if he would be selling either of his electrics and he said no. Doesn't make sense to me, but I guess it doesn't have to. :p
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-being-seriousright?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8aebe21b-3762-4c2d-bb78-83fe57a601ffPost:3c27dd65-6433-462a-b9de-3e18080714b9">Re: You're not being serious..right?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I doubt it lol. I'm just the fiancée who knows nothing about the cool toys he could have. I'm prepping my argument against getting a jetski as we speak. Summer is right around the corner and I need to bring my a game.
    Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]
    Oh gosh. I love it. :) Good luck with it. haha
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    edited December 2011
    I feel like every time FI pulls out his wallet to pay for something we really don't need (he's rallying for a recliner even though we have a perfectly good sofa and a perfectly good armchair), he's taking money away from our wedding, our apartment expenses and our upcoming vacation. It makes me stabby.

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    leia1979leia1979 member
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    edited December 2011
    Musikbx, that makes me glad I mostly just sing. Even then, I'm contemplating buying a condenser mic in addition to my dynamic mic.  =)

    I think buying stuff is fine as long as you can afford it without taking away from the necessities and have a place to store it. But if it comes down to guitar vs rent money, rent should win out.
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    edited December 2011
    oragnecrush, FI has a thing for animation art. I never knew it could be so expensive. Some pieces are not bad and are only like $20 but some of the ones he has bought are more than 10 times that price.

    That is really is the only think he goes on spending sprees for. The only problem is we have like 30 pieces sitting around unframed but he keeps buying more. I think he just bought 2 today. Hopefully he will work on getting they framed so we can actually enjoy them.

    I understand where you are coming from. There is no need to keep buying more when you have a nice collection as it is.
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My BF is living off student loans, on a very limited restricted budget, and yet he still wants to go out and buy a desktop computer to play computer games on.  Yep, that's the SOLE purpose of said desktop.  He already has a laptop, which he had to buy a new one last semester because he downloaded too many free games and got viruses.  So he says this desktop will keep him from downloading games on his laptop.  Not likely!

    Anyway, he so rarely treats himself to anything, and he's been talking about getting a desktop for over a year now, so I'll keep my opinions to myself.

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    PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
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    edited December 2011
    FBD doesn't buy a lot.  He's got VERY limited income (b/c apparently this house thing is taking over his life and he has 35-40% of his income going into the savings for it!) so I don't have to talk him out of stuff.  He'll randomly get video games but that's about it

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    Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
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    edited December 2011
    MK, that is hilarious.
    "I don't like you.  You hurt people." 
    I can just imagine it.


    My BF is this way with power tools.  He says they're for the business, which is true.  But he's also cutting into the profits of the business, which cuts into his pocket...
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    EhTb4evrEhTb4evr member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    my bf is that way too! Only...with drums.. he has 4 drum sets oh and 2 electric drum sets..our neighbors must hate us lol .
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    AzorayAzoray member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hahaha trust me, you are NOT Alone on this by any means!  First read through all the comments and see how many people have the same "problem"

    i think though that EVERYONE has something that their partner just isn't going to understand.

    my bf's really into computers and electronics... not a cheap hobby by any means.

    however, i did kind of luck out... since electronics get out of date so quickly, he'll sell his old stuff while it's still worth something to put his money towards the newer version etc.

    i used to through a bit of a fuss when he wanted to spend money on one thing or another, but to be honest, through his hobbies i've learned a lot myself and i ALWAYS get the latest stuff myself :P  so i can't really complain since i use it more often than he does lol.

    i think it's fine to have things we enjoy... i have things that he doesn't quite understand why i enjoy it or want to spend money on it... perhaps he doesn't fully understand why i want to buy $30 shampoo when i can go and buy a cheaper brand for $5.  (just an example, i don't USUALLY buy that much shampoo haha... just treat myself to it once in a while)  but just goes to show... there will be things i enjoy that are MY thing, and there will be things that HE enjoys that I don't fully understand.


    i've found that just being respectful of his hobbies goes a lot farther than nagging.

    if he wants to buy this or that, ASK him about it... ask him what the difference between this and other guitars are.  ask him to teach you to play a simple song on it even.

    you don't have to like guitar, perhaps you love it.... but respecting his hobbies will show him that you may not always understand his hobbies, you may not always understand what he wants to spend his money on, but you care about him and want to at least learn about it.


    of course, if he takes it too far and becomes irresponsable with his money that's a completely different situation.  if he was buying a guitar every week and never caring about his financial responsabilities well that's a red flag.  but since you said yourself this is unusual for him, then i wouldn't think too much of it.




    oh, and in regards to the person who for whatever reason made that rude comment about not having a ring...

    The way i look at it... you don't start spending the rest of your life with someone on your wedding day..... you started spending the rest of your life with your boyfriend when you started dating...


    a wedding doesn't devalue the part of your relationship that took place before the wedding.
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