vacation, kind of....

lennonkdc

So I leave Friday for the DE shore for a vacation with the BF's whole famn damily... I would be excited except we will be sharing a house with about  25 other people and since BF and I aren't married we don't get our own room, we'll be sleeping on an air mattress on the floor in the living room (no sexy time for me...); if  the 10 day weather report is to be believed there is chance its going to rain all week; his extended family is still treats me like an interlooper (again the not married thing) and his sister's BFF whom I severely dislike will be joining us for a few day. So I know I'm being a Debbie downer about all of this but its so stressful for me. I'm trying to be zen and love the trip for what it is (a chaotic cluster fvck with people who still see me as an outsider) and not what I wish it was (a relaxing and romantic trip to the beach with BF). 

On the plus side we have a day trip to the Dog Fish Head Brewery planned (BF and I rented a limo! very excited); I have 3 books to read; two of his cousins are lawyers and are my favorite people in the world and I'm excited to see them; his second cousins who are 3 and 4 will be there to watch princess movies with me; and there will be sea food, lots of yummy sea food

Any way, do you guys have an fun family reunions planned? and disaterous vaction stories to share? Any books to recomend in case it does rain all week? 

IrishDreamer

Ummmm... No, I've got nothing. Except vibes for you that your trip is awesome!

I avoid family functions on my step-dads side of the family like the plague, I've always been an outsider, and since his dad died - it's gotten worse. So I just avoid those situations. My mom's side of the family - eh...I'm the black sheep, except when I'm with my one Aunt/Uncle and around my dad and brothers. Unfortunately, I don't get to see them nearly enough as I'm in MI and they are in PA. It's funny, but I'm closer to BF's family than I am mine. At least I get points for having awesome FIL's though, right?

You could always read the HP series again

CCO2012

I don't like most of my family past cousins. My mom's side sucks extra hard! Super redneck... Its like my mom's parents were both the only normal ones from their families so my mom's cousins and aunts and uncles are too weird!

ETA: I usually find the ones I cam tolerate and just stick with them the whole time since we are all irritated by the others. Good luck on your trip and try to have fun!

swhite2012

I get how you're feeling. When FI and I first started dating, I wasn't "allowed" to come to things such as holidays and whatnot because his grandma only wanted Family or engaged there. I eventually was invited to things, but I still felt like an outsider even though everyone was friendly. I just couldn't shake how they treated me to begin with. It doesn't help that my family has always been very welcoming of anybody, whether it be friends or SO's. I understand that they don't want just a flavor of the week at their important holidays, but you never know how serious something will become. If you didn't want me there at the begining, then why would I want to be around once I am "family"? I know it's a little childish, but it really hurt me in the begining. Because of all that I am still uncomfortable around his family because I feel like they don't really want me there, even though they are very nice.

At least you guys get to share an air mattress. I know it's not private, but you are together Stuck in a house with 25 of the FI's family for days though would drive me nuts. We all went to his grandma's in Upstate New York for Xmas last year for like 5 days. It was so secluded. There was absolutely nothing to do. It was beautiful, but super boring! 

elannis

The lack of privacy kinda stinks. I went on a family vacation and we had a cabin and were a bedroom short, so instead of sleeping on the couch, my BF and I brought a tent so we had our own space. No problems with sexy time there, lol. It rained on us too but we had a tarp over the tent, so no problems there either.

Maybe you guys could get away and have your own private beach date so you can get in your romantic trip. Even if it rains, as long as it's not lightning, you can still have fun and get away from everyone if it gets too stressful.

I have no book recommendations, but I hope you have a great trip!

lennonkdc

Liv- I loved Committed, I read it this spring. I have The Help on hold at the library, but if I run out of books to read at the shore I'll cave and buy it while I'm there. I forgot about Bossypants, was it any good? I love Tina Fey, so I'm assuming it was awesome...

Swhite- BF's fam is so weird b/c they are all so welcoming- to a point, then there is this invisible wall. I've seen it happen with the two 'additions' to the family, his cousins wife and his BIL. Its so odd b/c I have been around longer then either of them, but I still feel like I'm on the other side of this wall. BF has an older cousin who dated a woman for 6+ years, well I guess she used the cousin for his $$ while she went back to school then dropped him. He was devastated both finical and emotionally to the point where he has not dated since and still lives at home (obv he has issues). BF's mom told me that the fam is worried that this will happen again with me, so they've taken a 'once bitten twice shy' attitude. I think that this attitude is sh!tty and disrespectful. BF has chosen to support me and we talk openly and honestly about our finical choices (which is none of their bees wax...) and to assume that I am a money grubbing b!tch after 8+ years is a horrible thing to do. 

Oh, and the no marriage no room thing has nothing to do with religious attitudes- it b/c there are so many people that its the only 'fair' way to divy up who get to sleep where. Famlies with kids get a room, then married's, then BF/GFs. Since BF and I are going to be the only unmarried couple there, we get screwed. 

jaycee7389

Wow that really really sucks. I have been lucky and never experienced an unwelcoming family. I wouldn't feel comfortable going if I was going to be treated like an outsider either.

Going to Dogfish Head Brewery sounds awesome! FI and I were supposed to make a trip there when we went on vacation last year but it never happened. They have awesome beer. Renting a limo if probably a good idea if you're gonna be drinking some of their stronger IPAs

ravenray

That sucks.    I have never been to a family reunion.  But I use to be on the outs with BF's family (who likes me now thank God) but it did royal suck when I had to be with them.

lennonkdc

Bethany Beach, I really like it there actually Its pretty laid back and not as touristy.

MLekathLEEN

Your vacation will only be as awesome as you let it be. The only person who can really keep you from having fun is yourself. Try not to let family or BFF get to you and enjoy yourself and just be the wonderful person your BF loves.