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I need opinions

callalily13callalily13 member
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in Not Engaged Yet
I just recieved a friend request from a girl who is dating my ex-bf. He and I dated over 8 years ago. He cheated on me and so I dumped him and for like 3 months after he harassed me and even over a year after we broke up he told his friend that we had gotten back together. He was a bit off then and might still be now. Well, his current gf friend requested me and when I messeged her to see her response to how we new each other, she said we didnt, so i asked her if it was because she is dating my ex, and she admitted it was partially that. She then asked me how long I'd been with my fiance and I told her and she informed me that that's what my ex thought....a bit disconcerting. I've already told her that it was weird that she wanted to be friends with me, so i wouldnt be friends with her.

So what I need opinion on is if I'm being paranoid (and maybe a tad bit conceited) in thinking that it was my ex wanting her to friend me bc he knew i never would friend him? Does anyone else find it odd that my ex's new gf wanted to be my friend? If it continues, should I just ignore it or message him to stop it?
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Re: I need opinions

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    aah009aah009
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't accept someone who is not my friend. Point Blank its simple. I would just ignore her. Seems to me if you keep talking to her it will create drama. Save the drama for your lama:)
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    People are weird on facebook, she doesn't want to be your friend she wants to be able to facebook stalk you and I know a lot of girls who are like that. I think you are being a little paranoid and I would just let it go. Honestly I think you did way to much in even messaging her, you should've just ignored the friend request to begin with and been done with it. If it continues ignore it, if it becomes a problem report it. There is no need for you to have any further contact with either your ex or his new GF.


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    callalily13callalily13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didnt friend her, so that isnt an issue. I feel like I'm being paranoid but after we broke up the guy was quite odd (called me multiple times in a day and when I ignored his calls he got his friends to call me and harass me and tons of other things), I think I'm just nervous that out of the blue her wanting to be my friend is the start back up of all of that. I really just wanted to see how she would react to me realizing who she was and to see if it wasnt bc of him. I have just moved past that part of my life and am in a good place and dont want it to come all back up.

    Thanks to you both. I was planning on ignoring her from now on but wanted opinions on the situation
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, definitely don't message her again and ignore her friend request. If she keeps messaging you, block her. No need for that in your life, no matter what her reasons for contacting you are.
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    deburnindeburnin member
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    edited December 2011
    That's strange... I would say just ignore her and if she keeps pestering you block her. Or if you don't want to let it have a chance to get to that block her anyway.
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    callalily13callalily13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ya that is what I planned on doing. Thanks for all your input, I appreciate it. I felt I needed a better perspective than my own.
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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She's just nosey, I don't think there's a need to be paranoid.

    I would however, ignore her friend request. I don't add anyone I don't personally know.
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    DanieKADanieKA member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9466e6c5-3de9-4d1b-9626-5a76f94acd6aPost:1fda7222-96b8-4236-bc6e-b5c1ea713cb2">Re: I need opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't accept someone who is not my friend. Point Blank its simple. I would just ignore her. Seems to me if you keep talking to her it will create drama. <strong><em>Save the drama for your lama:)</em></strong>
    Posted by aah009[/QUOTE]

    <div>YES! All of this. I am totally gonna start using this phrase!</div>
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    SeaTea02SeaTea02
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    edited December 2011
    I think it is pretty common for girls to add their BF's ex or their ex's new GF. It doesn't make it right, healthy, or normal.... but it is pretty common. She probably just wanted to see what you looked like and stuff like that. It is possibly your ex wanted her too, but unlikely because then it would appear to her that he still wants to be with you. A girl wouldn't help her boyfriend start something with another girl (like harassing etc.). 

    I probably would have done what you did if I wanted nothing to do with them, or I would have accepted, checked her out too, and removed her in a day or so. 

    I had a bizarre influx of friend requests after I got engaged. Some were people I knew and hadn't seen in several years and others were girls from my high school I don't remember or never actually met. FB is weird and allows people to make bold moves they wouldn't without the distance it puts between you. 

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    trebmaltrebmal
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    edited December 2011
    I am not a friend collector on FB so if I don't know you in person then I don't add you (unless we met through another source I trust).  So I agree with PP, just ignore her.  Block her if she keeps up but don't add her and feel conceited if you want, it's all good, she doesn't have to know.  I agree it is high up there on the creep oh factor though...
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    marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would have ignored her completely, and possibly blocked her and your ex. You don't owe this girl anything, least of all information about your relationship with your SO. She was being rude, IMO, and you're, of course, trying to be nice.

    Hope that doesn't come across as too blunt/rude. I'm just sayin'--don't let the Facebook weirdos bug ya. Wink
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    Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I skipped responses.

    My theory on Facebook:
    If we aren't friends in real life, I don't see the point of pretending to be friends on the internet.
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    callalily13callalily13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I appreciate the bluntness for you all so thanks. Im not friends with her so we arent going to be friends on facebook. I was just worried that it might be reason to worry (im a worry-wart i guess). Thank you for the opinions and feedback. I just needed an opinion other than my own to make sure I was not overanalyzing it all.
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    thejessythejessy member
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    edited December 2011
    I had an ex who I HATE and he was dating a new girl a few months after I dumped him. She messaged me on myspace and I first flat out told her I didn't want to talk to her but then she asked me for advice - my ex is a pathological liar and she wanted to know if she was making the right decision to dump him. I said yes and that was the end of it. Maybe your ex's friend is looking for the same adivce?!

    In all seriousness, don't even get involved. Deny her request and if she keeps bugging you put her on block.
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