Knowing it's coming soon

EUhew

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:b46eef7a-3d15-42eb-b549-3b4b348883f9">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : Here's a different perspective . . . you and BF are ALREADY spending your lives together.  Your life with him has ALREADY begun.  While you may not live together (or even near each other for that matter), you are, indeed, together and living your lives together in a relationship.  I realize that you're ready to "officially move forward" rightthisverysecond but please have an open ear to what we're all saying.  We've all either been there or are still there.  Please try to enjoy the life you are living together right now, even if it's not under the same roof.  I fully admit I was impatient too but all the impatience in the world doesn't change when he'll buy the ring or when he'll propose.  I'm SO GLAD that FI did things in his own way, in his own time.  We first looked at rings a year and a half before we got engaged and in that time our relationship grew and strengthened in ways I'd never imagined.  And no, I'm not saying your relationship isn't strong.  Just that you can continue to experience your relationship without being engaged or married. Lastly, if you're both committed to each other, then it doesn't really matter if it happens today or a year from today.  At least, not if you're goal is "living your lives together."  Cause doll, you're already doing that! 
Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]

<p>Well said flygirlmeg :)</p>

ashleighpaige24

I know we're already living our lives together, but it's hard when my work doesn't give me holidays off simply for the reason that I'm not married and I don't have kids.  I work for a small retail company and am a manager there.  The other managers are all married with kids and they take off all holidays.  My time with him is not respected because he's not my husband.  I miss time with him because were not living together and we both work retail jobs right now.  I'm not saying I want to get married just so I'll get holidays off.  

Bottom line is - I'm ready.  He's ready.  Yes, we're already living our lives together, but I want to establish our life.  To start building things together - our home and our family.  I want to do all the things for him that I can't do now because we live apart.  I want to wake up to him every morning.  

Pardon my excitement, but it's just where I am right now.  

LilTexasGal

If you have so many hobbies, by all means, pick one (or two) and focus on them instead of planning your wedding. Removing yourself from wedding related things can actually ease the anxiousness you're feeling. A few weeks or so will not affect the overall outcome of your wedding day, so don't worry about trying to plan it all right now. For your sanity, focus on these hobbies. This is how MANY of us handled/are handling the waiting. You did ask how other girls handled the waiting after all...no need to get defensive when we honestly answer your question.

Also, I dare to take a wild guess and say that I bet everyone here gets where you're coming from. You're in love with this guy. You want to marry him. He wants to marry you.  Your situation is not as unique as you might think.  However, it is extremely hard to fully comprehend someone else's relationship when all you have to go off of is a fistful of flowers and rainbows tossed in your face. Did we know before hand that you and your BF have so thoroughly discussed having a quick engagement for the purity of your relationship? All we knew is that he wanted to propose by the end of the year - so given that information, yes, it is reasonable to for us to assume that he might pop the question 5 months from now.

No one really cares if he proposes the moment he buys the ring or however long he waits. It is just a fact of life that some people have had to wait years, and they were using those examples as reasons why you shouldn't dwell on it. For you, it probably won't take years for him to propose, but it doesn't change the fact that dwelling on it won't make the waiting any easier.


I would also like to point out that my FI and I had total commitment and surrender before we were engaged and certainly (and obviously) before we are married, and a piece of paper will not magically create this. Are you saying that couples who cannot or chose to not get married aren't able to have total commitment and surrender? Marriage does NOT make true love.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:13da58de-6b23-4e01-a4d9-07090f3fcacd">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]For the purity of our relationship, we've agreed that it is not going to be a long engagement and that it's not going to be a long time from the time we decide "you're the one" until the proposal.[/QUOTE]
 
I snort-chuckled at this and all I could think about was General Ripper on Dr Strangelove talking about purity of essense.

[QUOTE]It seems like a lot of you don't understand where I'm coming from, and I look forward to posting back on here when he actually does propose so yall can see how long I ended up having to wait.  
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]

You have a very positive attitude toward others. I'm sure people are very fond of you.

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:f5f7e31c-cfb3-4628-8f5f-da657be751ec">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]I know a year doesn't seem like a long time, but our relationship has developed to the point where I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life.  We have been through hard times and good times and we are both ready for the next step.  By saying it has not had time to truly develop is a judgment and a wrong one.  Just because your relationship didn't develop in that amount of time does not mean others don't.   We live about 40 minutes apart, but we see each other a few times a week because he lives close to the city I go to school and work in.   Our relationship is strong because of what we've been through and I've met and developed relationships with all his close family. It's just time for us.  I wish others would stop being so judgy - just becaue it took yall longer does not mean it always has to.  I posted on here to get some support and hear others who had felt the same way and how they dealt with it.   Every relationship is different and if mine is too fast for you, then go take your comments elsewhere.   And being engaged or married certainly changes the dynamic of the relationship - it should.  I stil love and appreciate him for who he is,  but being engaged or married is a totally different dynamic than dating.  It's a total commitment and <strong>surrender</strong>.  The most beautiful commitment two people can make to one another.  We are definitely NOT in the honeymoon stage of the relationship anymore.  Whether you believe it or not our relationship is very developed and will continue to grow, but alot has happened in the year and 3 months we've been together
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]

<div>What the fuckk?</div>

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:48a349fb-f998-4465-93a0-25b5dc901688">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]If you have so many hobbies, by all means, pick one (or two) and focus on them instead of planning your wedding. Removing yourself from wedding related things can actually ease the anxiousness you're feeling. A few weeks or so will not affect the overall outcome of your wedding day, so don't worry about trying to plan it all right now. For your sanity, focus on these hobbies. This is how MANY of us handled/are handling the waiting. You did ask how other girls handled the waiting after all...no need to get defensive when we honestly answer your question. Also, I dare to take a wild guess and say that I bet everyone here gets where you're coming from. You're in love with this guy. You want to marry him. He wants to marry you.  Your situation is not as unique as you might think.  However, it is extremely hard to fully comprehend someone else's relationship when all you have to go off of is a fistful of flowers and rainbows tossed in your face. Did we know before hand that you and your BF have so thoroughly discussed having a quick engagement for the purity of your relationship? All we knew is that he wanted to propose by the end of the year - so given that information, yes, it is reasonable to for us to assume that he might pop the question 5 months from now. No one really cares if he proposes the moment he buys the ring or however long he waits. It is just a fact of life that some people have had to wait years, and they were using those examples as reasons why you shouldn't dwell on it. For you, it probably won't take years for him to propose, but it doesn't change the fact that dwelling on it won't make the waiting any easier. I would also like to point out that my FI and I had total commitment and <strong>surrender </strong>before we were engaged and certainly (and obviously) before we are married, and a piece of paper will not magically create this. Are you saying that couples who cannot or chose to not get married aren't able to have total commitment and surrender? Marriage does NOT make true love.
Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]

<div>Is this a trend that I totally missed out on?!</div>

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:f5f7e31c-cfb3-4628-8f5f-da657be751ec">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]I know a year doesn't seem like a long time, but our relationship has developed to the point where I know I want to be with him for the rest of my life.  We have been through hard times and good times and we are both ready for the next step.  By saying it has not had time to truly develop is a judgment and a wrong one.  Just because your relationship didn't develop in that amount of time does not mean others don't.   We live about 40 minutes apart, but we see each other a few times a week because he lives close to the city I go to school and work in.   Our relationship is strong because of what we've been through and I've met and developed relationships with all his close family. It's just time for us.  I wish others would stop being so judgy - just becaue it took yall longer does not mean it always has to.  I posted on here to get some support and hear others who had felt the same way and how they dealt with it.   Every relationship is different and if mine is too fast for you, then go take your comments elsewhere.   And being engaged or married certainly changes the dynamic of the relationship - it should.  I stil love and appreciate him for who he is,  but being engaged or married is a totally different dynamic than dating.  It's a total commitment and <strong>surrender</strong>.  The most beautiful commitment two people can make to one another.  We are definitely NOT in the honeymoon stage of the relationship anymore.  Whether you believe it or not our relationship is very developed and will continue to grow, but <strong>alot</strong> has happened in the year and 3 months we've been together
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]

*head tilt*

Also, how do you care for your alot?  Is he fed well?  Do you surrender to him?


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/14/4b24c8b4-3e49-44ed-be94-459387905ec7.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/14/4b24c8b4-3e49-44ed-be94-459387905ec7.medium.png" alt="" /></a>

Are you as commited to your alot as your BF?

melmac86

I'm just kind of annoyed at the whole comment about marriage being the most beautiful commitment two people can make to each other.

What if two people don't want to get married, but have made the commitment and are in a faithful, loving relationship?

What about gay couples who aren't allowed to get married in this effed up society?

Does this make their relationships/commitments less beautiful, because they don't have the piece of paper that you want?

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:07f17e7d-46d7-4b75-9b48-bb188cd13e68">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just kind of annoyed at the whole comment about marriage being the most beautiful commitment two people can make to each other. What if two people don't want to get married, but have made the commitment and are in a faithful, loving relationship? What about gay couples who aren't allowed to get married in this effed up society? Does this make their relationships/commitments less beautiful, because they don't have the piece of paper that you want?
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]

Clearly the most beautiful commitment ever is between a person and their alot.  Obviduh.

Hummingbird125

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:324810ad-41ca-45d9-9e23-cff39b1cef3f">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]I know we're already living our lives together,<strong> but it's hard when my work doesn't give me holidays off simply for the reason that I'm not married and I don't have kids.</strong>  I work for a small retail company and am a manager there.  The other managers are all married with kids and they take off all holidays.  My time with him is not respected because he's not my husband.  I miss time with him because were not living together and we both work retail jobs right now. 
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Okay, I won't actually reply to all the crazy, BUT - if this is true this is something you need to speak with HR about because it's not right. It definitely happens in some places of work, but people should not be treated different due to their marital status/having kids. 

</div>

melmac86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:609634c2-a749-4b58-8f9c-3034688812c9">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : Clearly the most beautiful commitment ever is between a person and their alot.  Obviduh.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

Until it eats you, because it can't handle your bad grammar/spelling.

doubleSS07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:3f042585-fe19-4a6f-a750-f7f7e6ffd019">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]  Even if he does buy it, it could me days, weeks, months, YEARS even before he proposes.  Trust me on this.  SLOOOOOOW down.  Breathe.  Distract yourself with other things besides getting engaged (like those summer classes). 
Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]

Yup listen to Meg, she's right.  My BF has had the ring since September...yes you read that right...almost a year and no proposal yet.  Believe me I have my BSC moments but you ride it out and then the next day is better.  Just try to think about other stuff and I come here alot to talk to these ladies about things that aren't wedding related.  It'll happen soon enough.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:013b9bd0-b4ce-400e-b7a6-edf8d13d57c7">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : Yup listen to Meg, she's right.  My BF has had the ring since September...yes you read that right...almost a year and no proposal yet. 
Posted by doubleSS07[/QUOTE]

Ha! Mine's had it since last May! I win this horrible game!

jorja86

OP, obviously you don't want to listen to anything we have to say, so why are you asking?

I'm also more than a little annoyed by your attitude of superiority and mistaken belief that YOUR relationship is clearly so much different and more well developed than other peoples. I knew I wanted to marry my BF when we had been dating a year, but I recognize the value in appreciating our relationship as it is and not being in a huge rush to move on to the next stage (whatever the hell that means...I still don't understand what's so great about this).

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:a02d66b4-7ad1-45ca-88d5-40bf869e152d">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>OP, obviously you don't want to listen to anything we have to say, so why are you asking? I'm also more than a little annoyed by your attitude of superiority and mistaken belief that YOUR relationship is clearly so much different and more well developed than other peoples.</strong>
Posted by jorja86[/QUOTE]

This...all the way.  Also, wanting to be "pure" for your wedding doesn't change things.  There are several girls on here who are waiting, and guess what?  They aren't jumping into marriage or using the excuse that they're relationship has grown more quickly than most.  Just admit it, you want to hurry this along so you can have sex....which is a piss poor excuse to get married.

Peaseblossom55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:e94576a2-9e16-45ff-8287-fbe682621263">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : Ha! Mine's had it since last May! I win this horrible game!
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]
I sympathize, but you at least have humor about it. 

LilTexasGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:90ebf7ac-5017-42ca-bb00-d6d2902ff98e">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : This...all the way.  Also, wanting to be "pure" for your wedding doesn't change things.  There are several girls on here who are waiting, and guess what?  They aren't jumping into marriage or using the excuse that they're relationship has grown more quickly than most.  <strong>Just admit it, you want to hurry this along so you can have sex....which is a piss poor excuse to get married</strong>.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

This.

Does BF also want to wait until marriage to have sex? Or are you the only one who wants to wait, so BF just goes along with it?

ashleighpaige24

were both waiting.  we both want to wait.  He told me today that he ordered the ring yesterday and that it won't be long - def. before the end of the year.  

And by surrender - I meant surrender on both parts.  Two people being able to give up their single life and only having to consider themselves.  Being married means having to consider another person before yourself in every area from finances to everyday life.  It's a union and there is surrender and sacrifice on both parts not just the woman submitting to the husband.  I didn't mean it like that and yall took it the wrong way.  

LilTexasGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:3a53325a-b475-4490-8d9f-3fd142f502f5">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]were both waiting.  we both want to wait.  He told me today that he ordered the ring yesterday and that it won't be long - def. before the end of the year.   And by surrender - I meant surrender on both parts.  Two people being able to give up their single life and only having to consider themselves.  Being married means having to consider another person before yourself in every area from finances to everyday life.  It's a union and there is surrender and sacrifice on both parts not just the woman submitting to the husband.  I didn't mean it like that and yall took it the wrong way.  
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]

Doesn't change the fact that you can have exactly what you were talking about without being married, nor does getting married magically create this. Way to try and belittle the relationships of people who cannot or chose not to get married.

ashleighpaige24

How am I belittling anything? I'm stating where I am and how I feel about my other half.  If you don't like my opinions about my relationship then stop posting.  This is not a post about how I feel about marriage in general.  It's how I feel about the one I love.

LilTexasGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:c22376b1-4bbe-4e63-a792-b0c2085596fa">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>How am I belittling anything?</strong> I'm stating where I am and how I feel about my other half. <strong>If you don't like my opinions about my relationship then stop posting</strong>. This is not a post about how I feel about marriage in general. <strong> It's how I feel about the one I love</strong>.
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]

Trying to make a statement that marriage is the most beautiful commitment two people can make? So you do feel that marriage trumps all other relationships?

You made a general statement about marriage, but since you're actually talking about your relationship, does this mean that right now you don't have to consider the one you love? Since you're not married, that is.

peekaboo2011

In Response to Re:Knowing it's coming soon:[QUOTE]How am I belittling anything? I'm stating where I am and how I feel about my other half. nbsp;If you don't like my opinions about my relationship then stop posting. nbsp;This is not a post about how I feel about marriage in general. nbsp;It's how I feel about the one I love. Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]

I highly recommend you not tell anyone round these parts when, where, or how to post. You are the one with the ish, not any of us.

ashleighpaige24

how do my thoughts about marriage offend someone who is about to get married? 

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:f93656c7-9bdc-44b9-917c-cc5d32542cbf">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]how do my thoughts about marriage offend someone who is about to get married? 
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]
Because there are people here who aren't about to get married? Because there are people here who have friends who are prohibited by law from marrying?

akirahwy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:c881f245-6a31-47ee-ae0c-029aecb73ff7">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Knowing it's coming soon : My boyfriend and I have been together almost three years and he's had the ring since LAST May. I think you need to slow your roll. Slow. Your. Roll.
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

:) Kudos to you.

akirahwy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:b46eef7a-3d15-42eb-b549-3b4b348883f9">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : Here's a different perspective . . . you and BF are ALREADY spending your lives together.  Your life with him has ALREADY begun.  While you may not live together (or even near each other for that matter), you are, indeed, together and living your lives together in a relationship.  I realize that you're ready to "officially move forward" rightthisverysecond but please have an open ear to what we're all saying.  We've all either been there or are still there.  Please try to enjoy the life you are living together right now, even if it's not under the same roof.  I fully admit I was impatient too but all the impatience in the world doesn't change when he'll buy the ring or when he'll propose.  I'm SO GLAD that FI did things in his own way, in his own time.  We first looked at rings a year and a half before we got engaged and in that time our relationship grew and strengthened in ways I'd never imagined.  And no, I'm not saying your relationship isn't strong.  Just that you can continue to experience your relationship without being engaged or married. Lastly, if you're both committed to each other, then it doesn't really matter if it happens today or a year from today.  At least, not if you're goal is "living your lives together."  Cause doll, you're already doing that! 
Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]

Good point. Thanks for this!

dayma09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:13da58de-6b23-4e01-a4d9-07090f3fcacd">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]I know a lot of people are saying it took years and years and years to be proposed to, but we're not that way.  For the purity of our relationship, we've agreed that it is not going to be a long engagement and that it's not going to be a long time from the time we decide "you're the one" until the proposal.  I know it's coming soon but I also know it's not going to be next week.  He's most likely going to wait until after classes end, and after that, who knows.   We've both started planning for the wedding and he actually encourages me to look for venues online and get ideas from Pinterest because he wants us to have a head start and be ready once it becomes official.   Our goal is to be married by this time next year, so I know he's serious and that it won't be years.   For some people, they're fine waiting several years, but that's not how it is for us.  Once we knew we wanted to marry each other, we started talking about when and where we wanted to get married.  It is our shared belief that the "dating" time should only last until you know and once you know, you should get the ball moving.  What's the point in waiting? It seems like a lot of you don't understand where I'm coming from, and I look forward to posting back on here when he actually does propose so yall can see how long I ended up having to wait.  
Posted by ashleighpaige24[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My bf of almost 2 years and I are the same way and people attacked me for "pre-planning" although all I did was look and learn what you need to do when you get a ring. We talked about getting engaged this winter and married next fall. I completely understand the thing about purity- my bf and I don't and won't live together until we're married, and that is something that gets harder to deal with over time because obviously as time goes on things tempt you more. A short engagement is totally normal if you're sure and doing it all for the right reasons, which it sounds like it! We're in the same boat!</div><div>
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LilTexasGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_knowing-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9494cd4c-a35e-495b-8414-19dd039adac5Post:ee8bfb4b-60ab-4091-bbcb-f753837bbc08">Re: Knowing it's coming soon</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Knowing it's coming soon : My bf of almost 2 years and I are the same way and people attacked me for "pre-planning" although all I did was look and learn what you need to do when you get a ring. We talked about getting engaged this winter and married next fall. I completely understand the thing about purity- my bf and I don't and won't live together until we're married, and that is something that gets harder to deal with over time because obviously as time goes on things tempt you more. A short engagement is totally normal<strong> if you're sure and doing it all for the right reasons</strong>, which it sounds like it! We're in the same boat!
Posted by dayma09[/QUOTE]

And by "all the right reasons" you mean so you no longer have to be tempted and can have all the sex you want?