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What do you say when....

You have 2 very inmportant people in your life call off their wedding and split up less than 3 months before their wedding.

DH and I were just notified that a couple who is very close to us and who was in our Bridal party has split. This caught us completely off guard and we are so very confused adn hurting for them. DH and I want to remain as nutral as possibly because both parties are very dear to our hearts. Naturally I know DH is going to support is BFF of 11 years. What would you do or say if anything?



Re: What do you say when....

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    CASK85CASK85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh wow. . . that really sucks. :( 

    I'd probably say something like "Hey, I heard what happened, and I just want you to know that I/we love you and will be here to listen if you need it."  
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    HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What can you say? I think it's best if you are just there for them. Sometimes people just need support, not advice.

    If that happened to my close friends, I would just spend time with them. You don't have to talk about it, just hang out.

    Good luck. I'm sure you'll know what to do.
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    Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have Reba McIntyre stuck in my head.

    "Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way..."


    Don't pick sides.
    Don't say anything negative about the other person, it could backfire if they get back together.

    Just offer comfort, a shoulder to cry on, a strong drink, distraction, be the friend you'd be if it were any other negative thing going on in their life.
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_say-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:953552fb-cc51-4fe5-b5e8-c055c878db33Post:e648eb83-d7e1-43cd-ba37-be51f82010e3">Re: What do you say when....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have Reba McIntyre stuck in my head. "Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way..." Don't pick sides. Don't say anything negative about the other person, it could backfire if they get back together. Just offer comfort, a shoulder to cry on, a strong drink, distraction, be the friend you'd be if it were any other negative thing going on in their life.
    Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

    That's what I would say. Don't pick sides. Eventually, I'd say it's pretty likely that you might grow apart from one of them with time. But in the mean time, I wouldn't do anything besides do your best to be there for both of them.
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't be able to give any advice without upsetting them, which is why I wouldn't at all. I'd just listen to them and not bring that up, let them bring that up.
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    LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    That is such a tough situation. I would do what PPs have suggested and just be there as a friend and offer support. I would also just avoid talking about the situation.

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    PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP's.  Don't pick sides and just let them both know that you're there for them if they need anything.

    Sorry to hear about this, hun.  Always sad when stuff like this happens:(

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    edited December 2011
    Ditto to other pp's. This is such a sad situation! All you can really do is be there for them...
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    edited December 2011
    PPs have said it. Be neutral and be there. Hopefully tis is the best decision for them, though. It had to have happened for a reason, so hopefully they will both be happier in the end.
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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am sorry.  Just be there for both of them.  I made a big mistake when I didn't make enough time for one of my friends who went through this.  So just be the good friend I know you are and listen to them on whatever they want to talk about.
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That sucks!  There's no advice to give... it's a sucky situation no matter what you do.  And you do have to be careful what you say - even if they're bashing the other, to even agree can get you in hot water if they get back together. I'd say exactly what the girls suggested - that you care about him/her, that you are there for them each to either listen or to take their minds off things by going out and doing something fun.



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