Greek ceremony vs. one where we can say our own vows

sandjpringle

please help!

I was raised greek orthodox but neither my fiance or myself are religious.  We don't really want a religious ceremony but are going to do one for the family.  Greek orthodox ceremonies are probably the most religious out there.  I'm conflicted because I really want to say my own vows (its always what i had in mind for my wedding day) but they don't allow that in the greek church.  There is a complication: my father passed away a few years ago and he was greek and his family were amoung some of the first patrons of the church- so there is a lot of family history there. my mother thinks we should get married there because "that's what your father would have wanted" but i'm uncomfortable with the amount of religion in the ceremony, the priest is extremely cheesy when doing the ceremony, and we really want to say our own vows. 

we're trying to figure this out at the moment.  any advice?  i dont' want to go against what my father would have wanted, but i also want to do my own thing.  is this a time where i should take family tradition over what i want? --like i said we are willing to compromise to a ceremony that is a little religious but it would not be at the greek church (they only allow the orthodox ceremony)

...please help!

HobokensFury

My only advice is you shouldn't get married in the church for your family. You yourself said you and your FI are not religious. It's offensive to those that are when people have religious ceremonies based on sacred beliefs when they don't believe in them/practice the religion themselves.

sandjpringle

thanks for the advice- i feel the same way about it being disrespectful (one of the reasons I'm not comfortable with it)... any advice on how to approach my mom about it?

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_greek-ceremony-vs-one-where-we-can-say-our-own-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:dba1d312-069c-4443-b02a-8b268d81ff61Post:b5bc667b-b854-4ef9-a809-68c03db617af">Re: Greek ceremony vs. one where we can say our own vows</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for the advice- i feel the same way about it being disrespectful (one of the reasons I'm not comfortable with it)... any advice on how to approach my mom about it?
Posted by sandjpringle[/QUOTE]
Tell her what you told us. That you are not comfortable with the idea and that you don't want to disrespect anyone.

GoodLuckBear14

Tell her that it doesn't make sense to you and you are not comfotable with being married in teh Greek Orthodox church since you are not a practicing member.

unchatenfrance

"like i said we are willing to compromise to a ceremony that is a little religious but it would not be at the greek church (they only allow the orthodox ceremony)"

Compromising will be problematic because you cannot perform any Orthodox rituals outside a church.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_greek-ceremony-vs-one-where-we-can-say-our-own-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:dba1d312-069c-4443-b02a-8b268d81ff61Post:0209cef6-3bc7-40eb-8208-afad7bce171f">Re: Greek ceremony vs. one where we can say our own vows</a>:
[QUOTE]" like i said we are willing to compromise to a ceremony that is a little religious but it would not be at the greek church (they only allow the orthodox ceremony)" Compromising will be problematic because you cannot perform any Orthodox rituals outside a church.
Posted by unchatenfrance[/QUOTE]

I'd also add that you run the risk of offending people if you try this.  DH nixed the idea of doing the crowns at our wedding because it wasn't in the church and his family would have been offended.