Hi, I'm new on here... I am 35 years old, have a four year old son and have been officially divorced for 2 years. I actually used the knot in my first wedding, very helpful site! I have a question for everyone please. I have been dating my boyfriend for exactly 1 year yesterday. He is such a wonderful man to me and my son. I swear I was meant to be divorced because my I was not with my soulmate. I actually knew on my wedding day that I did not want to marry the man I married but I had been with him since I was 14 that everyone insisted it was just nerves... needless to say, I am finally happy in my life in all aspects! My BF and I talk about getting married, having children etc ALL the time. It's just a matter of when. He has never been married, does not have children and takes our relationship very seriously and truly loves us. Yesterday was our one year anniversary and he got me a diamond, past, present and future ring and said it symbolizes he is promised to me forever and that he truly wants to marry me and be with me for eternity. He is sensitive to my fears of divorce again and all that I went thru (it was a horrible, abusive (mentally, not physically) divorce) and I will never marry again unless I know for 1000% there will not be a divorce in the end. I believe he is the one with all my heart but since it's only been a year, we both feel it's too soon to just get engaged and married, however, we have time against us in the fact we both want to have another child. So with all this said, I now have a "promise ring" but I don't know which hand or finger to wear it on? Some sites say its supposed to be on your left hand and then is replaced by the engagement ring but others say you leave it on your right hand to keep your left hand open for the engagement ring. I don't want to take away the engagement part and have people think we are engaged right now, we've just promised each other we will be and actually decided by this time next year. What are your thoughts, should I be wearing it on my right or left hand ring finger? I also read some blogs on here that people said promise rings are for kids and are immature etc. Well when you've been married and divorced and you have a child to think about as well, I am very happy to have a promise ring, I think it's a huge step for both of us and I feel much more confident in our future and where we are heading in life and am glad he gave me this rather than an engagement ring right now as well as nothing at all. So.... thoughts on all this? Thanks!
Re: Thoughts About Promise Rings?
About a year ago I had this ring resized. I realized that isn't the finger it belongs on and I now wear it on my middle finger. This partially "frees up the finger" but it was also a pretty big realization that it just didn't need to be there.
If I were you, I would not wear it on my left ring finger. I would wear it on my right ring finger or right/left middle finger.
There is nothing wrong, IMO, with getting a beautiful symbolic piece of jewelry that indicates a promise, I just wouldn't wear it on a finger reserved for the symbol that ACTUALLY makes the promise to marry you.
*the ring I have is a pink sapphire, so rarely did people think it was an engagement ring. considering I had it for 3 years before we were enagaged, only a few times did someone ask if I was engaged/married.
Somebody once said, it's the soul that matters. Baby who can really tell, when two hearts belong so well?
Tale as Old as Time (Updated 11/26)
Save yourself a lot of hassle and just wear it on your right hand.
[QUOTE]Sorry for random thought, but there's a girl I go to law school with who has a diamond ring that she wore on her left ring finger. When I first met her I said, "Oh, you're engaged too?" She was like, "No, I bought this ring for myself and figured wearing a diamond ring would make me appear less available, and more desirable to guys." Don't be that girl. Rings that are NOT engagement rings, especially those containing diamonds, should NOT be worn on the left ring finger.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]
Yeah, she's gonna attract a real winner.
[QUOTE]I would wear it on my left hand just to avoid the hassle of having it mistaken as an engagement ring. But it really doesn't matter. Do whatever you are comfortable with :)
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]
You mean right :)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thoughts About Promise Rings? : You mean right :)
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]
haha...yeah. typing fail on my part. I just wasn't thinking.
Life is good today.
[QUOTE]Sorry for random thought, but there's a girl I go to law school with who has a diamond ring that she wore on her left ring finger. When I first met her I said, "Oh, you're engaged too?" She was like, "No, I bought this ring for myself and figured wearing a diamond ring would make me appear less available, and <strong>more desirable </strong>to guys." Don't be that girl. Rings that are NOT engagement rings, especially those containing diamonds, should NOT be worn on the left ring finger.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]
<div>Uh... yeah by skeevy guys. I know women who do this, usually with fake rings, to <em>avoid</em> being hit on. They work in either bars or restaurants and it's easier to just point to the ring and say sorry.</div>
Somebody once said, it's the soul that matters. Baby who can really tell, when two hearts belong so well?
Tale as Old as Time (Updated 11/26)
BFP #1 9/26/12 EDD 6/7/13 MC at 5w2d on 10/6/12
BFP #2 1/18/13 EDD 9/29/13
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So yes. My vote is for the right hand.
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BF and I think promise rings are pointless, because as Paige said they are just a symbol of a promise that you are going to make another promise in the future...IDK.
"Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing through my open ears inciting and inviting me"
You shouldn't need a piece of jewelry as proof he wants to commit, anyway.
Besides which, I just feel they are redundant.
wear it where you feel comfortable!