Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!

CleverThought

Well, I'm sure OP is likely not returning, but in the case she is I might as well add my 2 cents.

Firstly, you guys may be so in love. Love at 18 is amazing, it's passionate and exciting. But sadly, love alone doesn't make a marriage. There's a reason that arranged marriages are so succesful. You guys need to be connected by more than love. Marriage is a promise that even if you no longer love the other, you will always be there and take care of them. This fairly tale thing fades - true love doesn't.

As many others have said, I was also dating my now FI in high school - I was head over heals in love, but our biggest conflict consisted of "why did you add so-and-so on facebook!!". I was thinking marriage then - but we went to college. For lack of a better word - shiiittt got real. For once in my life I had to consider how to pay my bills and I needed a job. We were now experiencing real world problems and learning serious, important things about each other, things that if we had vastly different views could be deal breakers (parenting styles, religious beliefs [beyond demonination], political affiliation).

We got into many fights - almost broke up. But I am so thankful for those experiences with him. Then we moved in together - paid our own bills and got a dog. We learned a lot of little things about the other that bugs the crap out of us.

 Looking back at my 16 year old self who thought she knew this guy who she wanted to commit her life too - she was wrong. Luckily, the relationship worked out, but not because of our relationship at 16 years of age - it's because although we changed, we changed with eachother. So often that doesn't happen when you go to school, the workforce, the military, or whatever you decide to do post highschool - and THAT IS OKAY.

I'm still considered a young bride, on the cusp of too young and acceptable to some. But I can assure you I am able to legally drink and enjoy my wedding. I'm not going to advise you to graduate college to get engaged/married - I don't think an education is required for a marriage. But I will advise you to slow down and wait a little while to get engaged. Experience the world with your boyfriend and on your own. Discover what you desire in this life - it's much to short to spend with a partner who doesn't support those desires. For a overwhelming majortity it takes college years and beyond to discover these things - and that is completely okay. Being married is a wonderful thing, but not being married in no way cheapens the relationship you have.

Grow up with your boyfriend a little more, have a fight, and most importantly realize your dreams!

Best of luck to you, OP!

jnjmommy0609

You just keep doing what your doing and pretend you don't care about what they think. There really isn't much you can do because no matter what you won't change their opinion. When you get married that will be the least of your worries so I highly recommend focusing on something that truly matters

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_too-young-read-please-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9ccbab64-7a6c-48ee-9dc7-4173b01b97dbPost:55010178-4ff4-49d1-9412-dae0daf9ca1c">Re: Too Young? Read Please- Need Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's my college program- that's how. That isn't my question. People that are 35 get engaged after six months of knowing eachother. We've been togetehr two years. We're the most mature people I know. How about you review my question: "  My problem is, I'll (most likely) still be a senior in high school when he proposes, and I'm concerned about what people will say. I know, who cares, right? But I've seen other girls get engaged in high school and I thought they were absolutely ridiculous... No way it would last. But then I realized I was in their situation... I know I shouldn't care, because it's OUR love, but it still concerns me that people will constantly tell me that I'm too young and making a mistake..." Thanks
Posted by ohheymorganlynn[/QUOTE]

People who are 35 generally know who they are and what they want out of life.  They have established careers for themselves (whether they are a grocery store clerk or a doctor) and know what they can give to a relationship and know what they need in return from a spouse.  They have also lived on their own, been responsible for their rent or mortgage payments,  their own health insurance, car insurance, car payments, investment accounts, retirement accounts, water and heating bills, the electric bill, savings accounts, and budgeting for being able to have a little fun in life. 

As much as you think you know this at 18, you don't.  I'm sorry but that is just a fact.  Some people are able to change and adjust together but that is really rare.  If your love is meant to be, it will wait.  And as an attorney, I will tell you that divorce is expensive as hell, can ruin your credit and will deal one hell of a blow to your self esteem so why rush into an engagement and marriage?