no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!

loopy82

There is a lot to read here, and I just did some skimming so if no one else has already said it. There is a very good chance you will change your mind drastically once you start trying on dresses. Neither dress I got is really at all like what I thought I wanted. Don't fall in love with a dress without trying it one. You may just end up disapointing yourself. You could go try it on and end up looking like an oompa-loompa. And I'm pretty sure no one wants to look like that on their wedding day.

1337love

OP - Sometimes you do stumble upon something you really really love.  Just keep a link in your email or a mag pic and put it away until after you're engaged to avoid any descent into obsession or any BSC.

slowdancing - thanks!  I love WHBM so I sometimes buy clearance... ($$$$!!!)

Narwhal - I'm a ballroom/salsa dancer, so to have it long in front might be dangerous!  Plus it's so unique.  But yeah, good point for trying on.  Though I think its still below the knee.  And I have pretty good legs so I'd like to show them off!

Christi - I got you with the succumbus comment, didn't I? I always pull a mythical creature into the mix whenever possible. 

Paint - I'm just saying that if you're seriously considering a particular dress, it might be a little fast.  I just want NYE to guard their knottie little hearts!

heshup - For the record, I do have a nice pair of VS undies with a "You like this" a la Facebook on the rump.  I can now wear them knowing its true.  BTW they were free with any purchase and the coupon on their FB group.  And what you said is all true!  Button could make a "cease and desist until bling!" button

frenchy730

OP, take a step back and calm down.  You're not engaged.

I know you are excited, but think about it, if you do this stuff now, what will you have to look forward to when you actually are engaged?  Dress browsing will mean so much more if you do it after he proposes.

BrideToBeBecauseHeLovesMe

I think the dress is absolutely gorgeous.  I found a dress myself and told my soon to be hubby I did and he was all sorts of happy and aglow.  I don't have the ring yet either, but I will very very soon, so I guess my case is just a little different.  We've talked about wedding details and everything we would want TOGETHER, including what he likes in a dress.  No, that doesn't mean he gets to help pick it out or know what it looks like when I'm definitely positive that's the dress!!  Just don't get too terribly set on it.  Keep an open mind in case you do change your mind or something comes up.  If you still absolutely adore it after you get the ring, go for it. 
The dresses they generally keep around a while.  My sister found one, but it was 2 years later before she actually could say she had a ring to GET it, and by then they didn't have it.  Luckily she wasn't too terribly heartbroken, she just found a very similar dress and ended up falling in love with it.  But I wouldn't worry, just keep a close eye and keep loving the dress with an open mind in case another pops up, and keep saving up for your budget of one. 
P.S.  Congratulations!! (When he proposes. :P)

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-yet-but-found-perfect-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1721ff8-9266-479c-8fd8-c2705db0da89Post:05532484-5387-42f0-8b0b-245f31cc9b02">Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the dress is absolutely gorgeous.  <strong>I found a dress myself and told my soon to be hubby</strong> I did and he was all sorts of happy and aglow. <strong> I don't have the ring yet either</strong>, but I will very very soon, so I guess my case is just a little different.  We've talked about wedding details and everything we would want TOGETHER, including what he likes in a dress.  No, that doesn't mean he gets to help pick it out or know what it looks like when I'm definitely positive that's the dress!!  Just don't get too terribly set on it.  Keep an open mind in case you do change your mind or something comes up.  If you still absolutely adore it after you get the ring, go for it.  :) The dresses they generally keep around a while.  My sister found one, but it was 2 years later before she actually could say she had a ring to GET it, and by then they didn't have it.  Luckily she wasn't too terribly heartbroken, she just found a very similar dress and ended up falling in love with it.  But I wouldn't worry, just keep a close eye and keep loving the dress with an open mind in case another pops up, and keep saving up for your budget of one.  :) P.S.  Congratulations!! (When he proposes. :P)
Posted by BrideToBeBecauseHeLovesMe[/QUOTE]

First off , if you don't have a ring , he is still your BOYFRIEND , not soon to be anything , I don't care how you try to rationalize it  or try and sugar coat it's not "unoffical" whatever. Your post just basically tried to validate the OP's questions.

Seriously this is to everyone - get engaged first , until then be happy and focus on what really matters - the relationship. Commicating mutual desires and needs , wants and goals be they relationship oriented or otherwise is perfectly fine , but stressing over a dress before you are engaged is just stupid. And planning things out to detail ages before will just create more headaches. Now I need a drink.

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-yet-but-found-perfect-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1721ff8-9266-479c-8fd8-c2705db0da89Post:05532484-5387-42f0-8b0b-245f31cc9b02">Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the dress is absolutely gorgeous.  I found a dress myself and told my soon to be hubby I did and he was all sorts of happy and aglow.  I don't have the ring yet either, but I will very very soon, so I guess my case is just a little different.  We've talked about wedding details and everything we would want TOGETHER, including what he likes in a dress.  No, that doesn't mean he gets to help pick it out or know what it looks like when I'm definitely positive that's the dress!!  Just don't get too terribly set on it.  Keep an open mind in case you do change your mind or something comes up.  If you still absolutely adore it after you get the ring, go for it.  :) The dresses they generally keep around a while.  My sister found one, but it was 2 years later before she actually could say she had a ring to GET it, and by then they didn't have it.  Luckily she wasn't too terribly heartbroken, she just found a very similar dress and ended up falling in love with it.  But I wouldn't worry, just keep a close eye and keep loving the dress with an open mind in case another pops up, and keep saving up for your budget of one.  :) P.S.  Congratulations!! (When he proposes. :P)
Posted by BrideToBeBecauseHeLovesMe[/QUOTE]

Oh dear...

1337love

ugggg I'm happy that my BF is my BF and I will have PLENTY of time to pick a dress... actually if this one wasn't so expensive (from my PP) then I would probably buy it to compete in or for looking awesome.  BUT that said I want to enjoy all of the planning with BF and just be happy that we are engaged for a while, get an apartment, save for a house, etc.

For me its the next step in building a life together.
and tafft, read the username.  If you post with a name like that on NYE I think you can predict the post.  *hands you a nice daquiri*

and could I just bring it back in to the MAN.  If he isn't "officially" engaged with you then he's either a) not ready or b) not going to commit.  If its the former, hold your horses or he's going to see your browser cache or something and think you are totally BSC!!!!  If its the later, you are set up for a heartbreak or being played for a long time!

In any case, the dress is just a dress!  An important dress, but you could wear the right dress and be so caught up in it that you marry a man that's not what you think it is!

I came up with a new phrase "I've FALN and I can't get up" FALN = Fail at Life Noob (noobed or noobing  works here too)

DON'T GIVE IN TO THE CRAZY.

genj15

Liz,  the dress is beautiful, but I like what 1337 said, about using the dress that she found (and loved) as an inspiration for her style once she gets engaged rather than as a definite.  If you do get engaged as planned at the end of summer, then I would think you would have no problem finding this dress.  If things don't go as planned and you end up getting engaged later and this particular dress is no longer available (which I have a hard time believing) you at least have an idea now of what you like, and that will make a good starting point for when you are actually ready to start dress shopping (read actually engaged).  I know how tempting it is.  I find myself browsing quite frequently, especially since BF and I have had then "when we get married" chat so often.  I feel like 75% of my wedding is already planned, all I'm missing is the engagement!  But I still would never dream of trying on/buying before we are officially engaged.

musikbx

Haha, oops... I've definitely been dress browsing without a ring!

To me, it's ok for the following reasons:

1) Boyfriend is completely aware of my BSC actions, and

2) I know it's wrong to browse dresses for an event that is 2 years in the future.

I consider it research. We won't be having a wedding-wedding, so I won't be wearing a gown. Most of the time when I browse, I am just getting new ideas for the kind of dress I could wear.

To the OP, yes... searching for dresses before you are engaged is not such a great idea for all the reasons that have already been mentioned. If you really can't help yourself, then I'd say internet browsing is OK - but draw the line at trying on and/or purchasing.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-yet-but-found-perfect-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1721ff8-9266-479c-8fd8-c2705db0da89Post:4ca9995f-6190-4554-8043-bc4de5a0b559">Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]Liz,  the dress is beautiful, but I like what 1337 said, about using the dress that she found (and loved) as an inspiration for her style once she gets engaged rather than as a definite.  If you do get engaged as planned at the end of summer, then I would think you would have no problem finding this dress.  If things don't go as planned and you end up getting engaged later and this particular dress is no longer available (which I have a hard time believing) you at least have an idea now of what you like, and that will make a good starting point for when you are actually ready to start dress shopping (read actually engaged).  I know how tempting it is.  I find myself browsing quite frequently, especially since BF and I have had then "when we get married" chat so often.  <strong>I feel like 75% of my wedding is already planned, all I'm missing is the engagement!  But I still would never dream of trying on/buying before we are officially engaged.</strong>
Posted by genj15[/QUOTE]

<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'e887f29f-10c4-4109-bdce-8ddc736f78ae', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/13/e887f29f-10c4-4109-bdce-8ddc736f78ae.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>


And WTF is up with the fly by posters lately?  Either participate or lurk.  Don't throw your $0.02 in when you want to validate a bit of crazy.

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-yet-but-found-perfect-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1721ff8-9266-479c-8fd8-c2705db0da89Post:8ab7c550-dc4e-4502-94aa-4873378bba58">Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress! : And WTF is up with the fly by posters lately?  Either participate or lurk.  Don't throw your $0.02 in when you want to validate a bit of crazy.
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]


THIS!

musikbx

I have to say, my response was validating because I personally don't think it's that crazy to look at the occasional wedding dress online. I mean, I also post on a wedding chat board without a ring... which could be considered crazy by some.

**Mutley**

Musikbx, you participate in this forum.  I wasn't talking about you.

musikbx

I didn't think the fly-by posting thing was aimed at me, but my post was definitely of the validating nature.

Also, my theory is that they are all the same person.

**Mutley**

I would like to think that it is all one person.  That makes me feel better about our society.  Alas, I doubt it is true. 

genj15

**Mutely**, my apologies for the "fly-by" posting.  I'm new here and I thought the best way to get involved was to start posting.  My mistake. I'll stick to lurking from now on.

Button5807

musikbx

Excellent, I feel like I could use that button as a gentle reminder sometimes ;-)

katanne9

Teehee.

Buttons. I've missed you.

Button5807

I miss you guys!!

tafft1

BUTTON ! I love that haha so awesome!

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-yet-but-found-perfect-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1721ff8-9266-479c-8fd8-c2705db0da89Post:ee48cc4d-ec53-4c50-a5d0-0b463a7cf736">Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]**Mutely**, my apologies for the "fly-by" posting.  I'm new here and I thought the best way to get involved was to start posting.  My mistake. I'll stick to lurking from now on.
Posted by genj15[/QUOTE]

<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'b99ee733-6c27-4a22-ac64-21c49d665107', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/12/b99ee733-6c27-4a22-ac64-21c49d665107.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>



<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'dd413564-d1dc-4d6f-afca-aa7598558fa6', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/13/15/dd413564-d1dc-4d6f-afca-aa7598558fa6.medium.gif" alt="" /></a> Button.

Button5807

Mutley that little guy is friggen precious.

**Mutley**

Not only can you see through bushes, but now you can see into my belly?!  Wow!  I mean, I know Mr. Man is precious.  But you can SEE him? 

1337love

Awwww button thanks for reading and responding.    I love it! 

Button5807

My tiara came with xray vision.

Goldlie11

The dress is beautiful and I think your question is valid.  I have a dress that I'm interested in.  I don't want to get a dress too early because I'm trying to lose quite a bit of weight.  So, I want to know when is the latest I can order my dress.  

Although I don't know the exact answer, I assume the dress will be around awhile since it's marked as new on the website.  

P.S. I am not condoning dress shopping before you actually get engaged.  Don't forget that the type of wedding you are going to have will dictate the style.  

**Mutley**

Let me point out the very real reasons you should not dress shop before you are engaged.


1) You are not engaged.

2) You are not planning the wedding yet, so you do not know what type of wedding it will be.  All of the speculating in the world before you are engaged can change once you actually get engaged.  You will get input from all sides.  Some of it you may even have to take. 

3) You do not know your budget.  Dresses comes in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colors and PRICE RANGES.  Falling in love with a dress that you cannot afford can ruin a budget.  It should not be the main part of your budget.  Your budget should focus on your guests and not revolve around affording a dress you fell in love with before ever getting engaged.  

4) Others may want to partake in dress shopping with you.  Your mother may be very hurt if you go into the dress thing with "your dress."

5) Dress envy.  Falling in love with a dress too early (and then purchasing it) can lead to dress envy.  You will come across a million other dresses while planning your wedding.  If you buy a dress too early, you may become a 2, 3 or even 4 dress bride while trying to figure out which dress you love the most.  A girl on my local went through 4 or 5 dresses in a matter of 18 months. 

mandamartin26

My Boyfriend and I know we are getting married, he just hasnt formaly purposed yet. He says I can look at things all I want to so I can get a idea of what I want, but am not allowed to make any final decisons,such as actually buying the dress and booking venues, until I have the ring on my finger.

Button5807

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-yet-but-found-perfect-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1721ff8-9266-479c-8fd8-c2705db0da89Post:e3ae2596-b3c6-4a36-8b27-3c663801fe42">Re: no ring yet, but found the perfect dress!</a>:
[QUOTE]My Boyfriend and I know we are getting married, he just hasnt formaly purposed yet. He says I can look at things all I want to so I can get a idea of what I want, but am not allowed to make any final decisons,such as actually buying the dress and booking venues, until I have the ring on my finger.
Posted by mandamartin26[/QUOTE]

Not allowed?