Leap Year Proposal

Kristin1117

Just curious if anyone has any plans to ask their BF for leap year. I've been with mine for two years. He is shy and if I don't take the bull by the horns, I know it could be years. Any ideas?

flygirlmeg

Don't ask him.  Even if he's shy, he will ask when he's ready. 

How old are you both?  What do you both do?  Have you talked about an engagement or marriage yet? 

tuarceatha

I like Amy Adams.

zipis1

I'm all for women proposing to their man. But your reasoning makes me wonder if it's the right thing for you to do, at least right now. You shouldn't be doing it because leap year makes it socially OK for a woman to propose (you should be willing to do it any year), and you shouldn't do it because otherwise "he'll drag his feet and it'll be years otherwise." He also shouldn't be too shy to tell the woman he loves he wants to marry her (if he is he's not ready).

I would re-evaluate this plan.

Kristin1117

I'm a 31 year old widow, he's 41. I know fron his past long-term relationship that he will not get the nerve to ask. We've lived together 2 years, worked together 3 years. Waiting for him to ask is nice, but not practical in my situation. We are not kids trying to rush things, but from my husband's death I have learned how important that piece of paper can be. I want security if something should ever happen to one of us. I'm not worried that he will say no, just want some help from anyone who proposed to their boyfriend.

Wrkn925

Don't you have to go to Ireland for that?

I do have logical advice, but since this is your first and only post, I'm going to go ahead and say you're just trying to dangle a steak in front of the lion's den.

Wrkn925

Ok then, maybe this IS real life!

There was a knottie on NEY thst did ask her bf, they had an agreement that she would ask when she was ready, because she wasn't ready when he was discussing it. It turned out well, he said yes.  I forgot who it was. Someone remind me.  She used a latte and a butter bowl top...

How much have you two discussed marriage?

Kristin1117

This is my first post on this name btw. I was on here in 2003 planning my wedding to my husband. I changed user names so I don't have confusion. I will just say I would ask him tomorrow just the same as the 29th, but since it is leap year why not stick with tradition.

Kristin1117

Wrkn925, he always asks if I think I can put up with him for the rest of my life, talks about when we are " old and married" jokes about if I'm going to divorce him if he makes me mad. The way he acts is like he's skipped the process and in his mind I'm his wife.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_leap-year-proposal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1a039fe-b196-40f8-8744-2724f61c8428Post:38046988-fb41-42ec-a5d1-8893df7f1725">Re: Leap Year Proposal</a>:
[QUOTE]This is my first post on this name btw. I was on here in 2003 planning my wedding to my husband. I changed user names so I don't have confusion. I will just say I would ask him tomorrow just the same as the 29th, but since it is leap year why not stick with tradition.
Posted by Kristin1117[/QUOTE]

<div>BTW, this week was the 10 year anniversary of my BIL's death. He died 10 months after he married my sister. They had a 3mo son. It still effin blows, and still affects her. I'm sorry you had to go through that.</div><div>
</div><div>Don't let that be a reason to rush him if he's not ready, though. But only you two know that.</div>

Kristin1117

To clear up some things, I have 2 children Olivia 5 and zackary 2. I was pregnant with my son when my husband committed suicide. My boyfriend has no children and wants no children of his own. Financially we are on the same page and combine our earnings to pay bills. We are both cops, 18 years for him and 12 for me so we have retirements building. Between us, we have 3 houses. I rented mine out, we live in his main house and stay at our property in north Florida on weekends. I really can't think of anything in our lives that marriage would change other than being married. It's important to me to be married at this stage of my life with him.

wink0erin

I think it'd be good for you to sit down and have a good talk about marriage and what it would mean for you both.If that conversation ends with a proposal (from either of you) then great. 

But it would be good to talk about WHY you feel like the security is necessary. It'd be good to find out why (you think) he is unlikely to ask you himself too. Does he have worries? Is he just not even thinking about it?

Talks are always good!

flygirlmeg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_leap-year-proposal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1a039fe-b196-40f8-8744-2724f61c8428Post:f75d2291-8f3d-4b3b-8225-cb479dfe1d29">Re: Leap Year Proposal</a>:
[QUOTE]I really can't think of anything in our lives that marriage would change other than being married.<strong> It's important to me to be married at this stage of my life with him.</strong>
Posted by Kristin1117[/QUOTE]

I'll echo Yaga's last question but also, is it important to HIM?  Obviously it's important to you but that doesn't mean that's it's also a priority to him.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_leap-year-proposal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1a039fe-b196-40f8-8744-2724f61c8428Post:8ab8129a-0fe6-49d5-9904-1baa30ecffb5">Re: Leap Year Proposal</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok then, maybe this IS real life! There was a knottie on NEY thst did ask her bf, they had an agreement that she would ask when she was ready, because she wasn't ready when he was discussing it. It turned out well, he said yes.  I forgot who it was. Someone remind me.  She used a latte and a butter bowl top... How much have you two discussed marriage?
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]


Musikbx, right?

Kristin1117

Only way to find out is to ask, which is what I will be doing. I know it is important to him to get married one day, but I also know its easy to say "one day". Our relationship was started by me asking him out because he was too shy to ask me. I'm feeling like the marriage issue is going to have to be initiated by me as well.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_leap-year-proposal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1a039fe-b196-40f8-8744-2724f61c8428Post:a3cbe80e-db72-4efb-9852-da273e0bad85">Re: Leap Year Proposal</a>:
[QUOTE]Only way to find out is to ask, which is what I will be doing. I know it is important to him to get married one day, but I also know its easy to say "one day". Our relationship was started by me asking him out because he was too shy to ask me. I'm feeling like the marriage issue is going to have to be initiated by me as well.
Posted by Kristin1117[/QUOTE]

<div>I asked my FI on our first date because I was getting tired of going into the bar where he worked and flirting. My liver said now or never.</div><div>
</div><div>He asked me to marry him...14 months after he asked me to look  at rings with him. He would have been heartbroken if i asked that, though.</div><div>
</div><div>Just a crazy question, but how will your proposal story float at work? I know cops can be harsh with each other.</div>

wink0erin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_leap-year-proposal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1a039fe-b196-40f8-8744-2724f61c8428Post:9e8c1ff2-e909-431a-8553-050b7df1b5f2">Re: Leap Year Proposal</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't think you should blindside him. Ask him how he seriously feels about getting married. Ask him what reservations he has. Tell him why you want to get married. Ask him what's holding him bavck, and ask him how he would feel about you proposing.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]



This, 100%!

kibo8

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/how-propose-your-man/82321

Wrkn925

Give us an update later.