Not Engaged Yet

Wearing ring, but not engaged?

Not sure if you guys remember, but one of my original posts was about a BSC co-worker who had started preplanning because she was certain her BF was going to propose at Valentine's. Needless to say, he did not. Well today I saw she had a ring on her finger, so I assumed her BF had proposed. I went up and said "Congrats!" and she gave me a funny look and said "Pardon?" I pointed to her finger and she snorted, and looked at me like I was daft in the head. She laughed and said "I'm not engaged yet."

Another co-worker stepped in and asked why she was wearing a ring, if she wasn't engaged. She said, her BF had given her the ring because she'd wanted one, and told her she could wear it until they got engaged. The co-worker then asked why they weren't engaged yet, and she replied "Because he wants to ask my dad." The co-worker then said, "Well if people see you wearing a ring, don't you think it will get around that you're getting married?" And her reply was "No, just because I am wearing an engagement ring doesn't mean I'm engaged yet." DOH!

I guess there really isn't a true question here, but I just wanted to share this very amusing story with you ladies. BSC to plan your wedding before you're engaged? Check. BSC to wear an engagement ring, and not consider yourself engaged. Check. BSC getting your BF to give you a ring because you wanted it? Check. Do I see a surprise ice rink wedding in the near future? Check!

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Re: Wearing ring, but not engaged?

  • Oh for the love. She can't call it an engagement ring, because she's NOT engaged. I won't even wear a ring on that finger that looks nothing like your "typical" engagement ring. It would make me feel weird.
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  • Some people....
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • Well she sounds totally BSC, that doesnt even make sense! She cannot call it an engagement ring if she is not engaged. If they do eventually get married, that will be swell, they will do things because she wants to Future divorce candidate? Check!


  • I know, before I was engaged I never wore anything on that finger. The only ring I wore was my college ring, on my right hand. I too would have felt so weird.
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  • I honestly wish you could have seen my face while I read that... some people just... wow.
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  • eirwyneirwyn member
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012

    That's hilarious.

    My mother gave me a ring to wear as an heirloom. It's a beautiful, square-cut amethyst she got when she graduated from junior high. She had a jeweler create a new band and insert some of the tiny diamonds from my grandmother's wedding band and my mother's wedding band. 

    I originally put it on my left ring finger because I already have a ring on my right ring finger, but then everyone at work started asking me if I was engaged. Oops!

    It's in my jewelry box now. I plan to have the ring removed from my right finger (it's stuck) so I can wear my mother's ring without looking weird. ;)

  • Yikes!  I have heard of people in service industry jobs, especially attractive ones, wearing faux wedding/engagement rings to ward off unwanted harassment on the job.  It didn't bother me much to hear about that, but making your bf buy you a ring and wearing it just because you want one "there," meanwhile waiting for him to actually propose with the real ring sounds like a whole can of nuts! 
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Oh boy.  She sounds special.
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  • Ah you ladies make my day so much better! I wish you could have seen my co-worker's face. It was seriously like this  -___-;

    Yeah, I've heard about wearing rings to ward off unwanted attention, but she is a very special woman.

    Cschiano - Oh my goodness! That made me smile. Is it bad that I thought something along those lines when she was talking?
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  • edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wearing-ring-but-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a45c604c-c642-47cb-9ae1-f732a9672187Post:1ce85ca7-55e6-4452-b56b-5040d4778ef0">Re: Wearing ring, but not engaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ah you ladies make my day so much better! I wish you could have seen my co-worker's face. It was seriously like this  -___-; Yeah, I've heard about wearing rings to ward off unwanted attention, but she is a very special woman. Cschiano - Oh my goodness! That made me smile. <strong>Is it bad that I thought something along those lines when she was talking?</strong>
    Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]

    <div>No because when I read this I thought the same thing. I bet you he's scared to propose now, she probably begged him to propose over and over again and he's like "Herrre!! Have this fvcking ring!" And she's like "Okay!" and giggles. </div>
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  • I wear a ring my boyfriend gave me but it looks nothing like an engagement ring. This girl sounds a little crazy.

    I will admit that when I'm bartending sometimes I wish I just had a fake ring or something to shut some guys up. But then I remember they are drinking and it probably won't change anything.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wearing-ring-but-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a45c604c-c642-47cb-9ae1-f732a9672187Post:0367c542-bb2a-41f5-b35e-0e899cc13405">Re: Wearing ring, but not engaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I wear a ring my boyfriend gave me but it looks nothing like an engagement ring.</strong> This girl sounds a little crazy. I will admit that when I'm bartending sometimes I wish I just had a fake ring or something to shut some guys up. But then I remember they are drinking and it probably won't change anything.
    Posted by countrygirl1108[/QUOTE]

    <div>Do you wear it on your left ring finger?</div>
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  • Some people's kids...
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  • I wear my grad ring on my left ring finger. I had to switch it over while I was on vacation because it was bothering my right ring finger, and I didn't have any clear nail polish around. I actually found it felt really uncomfortable, always seemed to pinch and what not. I have rings that I sometimes wear on other fingers and one ring that I usually wear on my middle finger on my left hand. The middle finger ring never bothers me when I switch it, nor do any of the other rings when I wear them. My grad ring is a thin band, but looks nothing like an engagement ring. I've started leaving it on my left hand so that I get more comfortable wearing a ring on that finger. (I've only started doing that since BF bought a ring btw).

    Your co-worker sounds pretty BSC...
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wearing-ring-but-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a45c604c-c642-47cb-9ae1-f732a9672187Post:c26115af-9deb-45c3-91cc-4c388c0fb992">Re: Wearing ring, but not engaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wearing ring, but not engaged? : Do you wear it on your left ring finger?
    Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]

    Nope but sometimes people still ask because it has both our names engraved in it. I just give them a weird look.

    It really confused my grandparents because they are from Holland where you wear your rings on your right hand.
  • Gesh that girl is BSC. How old is she? Sounds a lot like a girl at my old highschool actually.
    I have a small silver band that I wear on my left ring fingure. It's a small promiss/purity ring that my bf gave me when I was going through a really hard time and he did it to, "get me to smile again." It's nice to have the promiss of us being together, but it also acts as my purity ring too.

    Cschiano: That made me laugh so hard!! That's exactly what I thought as I was reading!!
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  • I am not sure her exact age, but I would guess 2526. The worst part about her being BSC is that I think she thinks she is completely sane. She didn't seem to think it odd at all, nor did she seem phased when it was clear we did. I wonder what will happen if/when he fails to ask her dad in an appropriate amount of time. Heck, I wonder how that proposal will even go. "Hey you have the ring. Wanna get married?" "Amg yeeeesss! This is such a surprise!" Posted from mobile site.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wearing-ring-but-not-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a45c604c-c642-47cb-9ae1-f732a9672187Post:057c5aeb-e3ff-47b8-aad3-a2c00507df94">Re:Wearing ring, but not engaged?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am not sure her exact age, but I would guess 2526. The worst part about her being BSC is that I think she thinks she is completely sane. She didn't seem to think it odd at all, nor did she seem phased when it was clear we did. I wonder what will happen if/when he fails to ask her dad in an appropriate amount of time. Heck, I wonder how that proposal will even go. "<strong>Hey you have the ring.</strong> Wanna get married?" "Amg yeeeesss! This is <strong>such a surprise</strong>!" Posted from mobile site.
    Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]
    Yes, such a surprise!! X)
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  • This just makes me shake my head.  And at that age... *sigh*
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I wore a claddagh ring FI gave me for our first Christmas together on my left ring finger for years. 

    I mean, it was clearly not an e-ring, it honestly just fit better on that finger than the ring finger on my right hand (my e-ring barely fits on the ring finger on my right hand, they're apparently 2 different sizes).  I know some people are super against wearing anything on that finger unless it's an e-ring, it was just a finger to me before we got engaged though.  



  • Haha. I got a ring while bf and I were on vacation. To avoid any confusion, I put it on my right hand. My mom and his mom thought that was silly because he'll eventually propose and it's still a ring from my love so she thought it needed to go on my left hand. While I see where they're coming from, that's exactly the situation I wanted to avoid! I'll put an engagement ring on my left hand.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Why are people stupid?
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  • If she's going to wear an "engagement ring" on her left ring finger...it shouldn't surprise her when people think she's engaged. Next she's going to be upset when she actually does get engaged and no one congratulates her because they thought she already was.

    I liken this to women who have honkin' diamonds and then hate that people stare at their rings. Why would you wear a honkin' diamond if you didn't want people to see it?
  • oh - and I know rings can be mistaken for engagement rings. I've been wearing a ring that BF gave me over 4 years ago...on my left middle finger...almost every day. At BF's brother's wedding, his cousin came up to me all excited thinking it was an engagement ring. I didn't know what to say! It's not a diamond, it's not on my ring finger...and we're at his brother's wedding.

    BUT to actually wear an engagement ring before you're engaged is BSC.

  • OP- your coworker I totally side eye b/c she is ligit cray-cray. 

    That said, I have a sapphire and diamond ring that I wear on my left ring finger. The ring was a gift from BF when we first started dating and I have been asked a few times if its an engagement ring. I just say no and leave it at that.  I never refer to BF as my FI, and I keep my BSC moments to Pinterest. I just like that it serves as a reminder of the commitment BF and I share and I have no issues with people who wear 'non'engagement rings on the left ring finger. 





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  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
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    I feel as though this is appropriate. Because this is the face I made whilst reading.



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  • edited April 2012

    I guess I was not the only one who was confused by her "ring", because today there was a lot of talk about how "Co-worker" got engaged, and then the clarification/confusion about how she isn't engaged but he gave her the ring  to wear until he asks her dad.

    So, turns out Dad is deployed and will be back next year sometime, so I give a tip of my hat and a "Well played sir, well played indeed." to her BF. She can't possibly expect him to ask for permission if he isn't doing it in person, right? I guess she was loudly complaining about everyone asking her about her ring, and how she was hating all of the attention, "Like, it is just a ring people. Its not like I'm engaged. Gosh."

    I'll admit, I gave in to some of the gossip when I went out with my girls tonight, but one of my girls works on her team and said that pretty much all day she was complaining about no one "understanding" that she is not engaged.... but she still calls it an engagement ring, she is just wearing her ring pre-engagement. IDK, I guess she has wrapped some pretty BSC logic around it, and tied it up with a pretty WTF bow.

    Funny, but true comment, in passing today I asked her if she was planning on booking an ice rink for her wedding, because I could totally see her having a unique ice rink wedding. Sadly she said no, she had already looked in to booking the Driskell hotel. *sadface* <--- Further proof she is BSC, if anyone still had doubt.

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  • I definitely see a surprise ice rink wedding in this poor guy's future.

    How annoying must you be to have your BF give you a ring just to shut you up??
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
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