Stubborn Ass

citygirllovescountryboy

Yep that pretty much describes me when someone tells me not to do something. Especially since I used to be so passive when my ex would do it. Oh you don't want me to go out with my friends? Ok I will just do laundry instead. Ugh I hated that version of me. So BF tells me that if I cut my hair off today at my hair appoitment that it will be a very long drive back to his house to visit for the weekend. A long quiet drive is exactly what he said. Hmmm seems to me the other day he said that if he wanted to do something it was his body and he would do with it what he pleased. Does that same theory not apply to me as well? Any advice ladies. My appoitment is in an hour and a half, I am looking at pictures now. I really want an asymmetrical bob, he would rather me just trim up what I have, shoulder lenght and some layers.

notquiteblushing

Get the haircut you want.

And the boyfriend you deserve.

oceana919

a) Huh?

b) Who are you?

::insert scratching head Mutley face::

AudgiePodge

He sounds like a peach.

Narwhal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:5086ad86-d3d6-4aaa-841d-36fcff126386">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Get the haircut you want. And the boyfriend you deserve.
Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS! </div>

coastiegrl25

Well, it is your hair so you can do with it what you want.  I cut all my hair off, even tho he was fond of my long hair.  He loves it.  He might end up really liking it.  If you aren't comfortable doing that, maybe a compromise?

heyimbren

I wouldn't stay with a guy who tried to tell me how to wear my hair. Opinions sure, like "Hey babe, I love it when you wear your hair long and in a ponytail". Not threats of a long quiet drive if I cut my hair short.

When it comes to hair, I wear it how I like it. I wouldn't cut it just to prove him wrong.

I get the feeling of wanting to do what someone tells you you won't do, but I recognize it's usually a bad idea. I think it's a poor attitude to have. I'm not always great at it though- to be fair, BF did end up with some eyeliner on for a bit after he told me he knew I wouldn't do it because it would be too weird for me. It was weird

citygirllovescountryboy

Okay question answered. I am chopping my hair off. If he has anything to say about it, then my really stubborn side is going to come out, and I will just tell him that he can find some other chica on campus. Honestly I don't think he will say anything, he really is a sweetheart, and I love him to death, but he just really likes long hair. And I think I look a lot cuter with short. Plus I adore Kellie Pickler and I want my hair to look like hers.

notquiteblushing

Thanks to the magic of the Internet this problem has already been solved for someone in a similar situation.  You may want to check it out:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100106140943AA4HEPr

YWIA

DTMFA

rxjen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:ee48a531-f4a5-453f-956c-7abb893879c7">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay question answered. I am chopping my hair off. If he has anything to say about it, then my really stubborn side is going to come out, and I will just tell him that he can find some other chica on campus. Honestly I don't think he will say anything, he really is a sweetheart, and I love him to death, but he just really likes long hair. And I think I look a lot cuter with short. Plus I adore Kellie Pickler and I want my hair to look like hers.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]


You used us for a poll :(

Wrkn925

I've learned not to tell BF about my hair appointments and plans.
I went in last month, chopped off 9 inches, and came home.

I'm the one that has to get up a 7am to wash, dry and straighten this long, thick, annoying ass mane, so I get to chose what to do with it. 

He was surprised, shared his disappointment, and got over it.
Now he likes me with short hair, but talks lovingly about meeting me with hair halfway down my back.

ETA: I had long hair, not hair growing on my back.

Schrodinger

How old are you two?

He sounds controlling and manipulative.  I think its fine for him to have an opinion about what hair style he likes.  Its not okay for him to try and bully you into getting the style he likes best.

It sounds like the two of you need to work on communication issues.  Being contrary just for the sake of being contrary isn't a great way to get what you want after the age of 2.

GreenPepperBurger

It's your hair. You do whatever you want with it. Your boyfriend sounds like an asshole.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:ee48a531-f4a5-453f-956c-7abb893879c7">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay question answered. I am chopping my hair off. If he has anything to say about it, <strong>then my really stubborn side is going to come out,</strong> and I will just tell him that he can find some other chica on campus. Honestly I don't think he will say anything, he really is a sweetheart, and I love him to death, but he just really likes long hair. And I think I look a lot cuter with short. Plus I adore Kellie Pickler and I want my hair to look like hers.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

You both sound ridiculously mature.  Yes, it is YOUR decision.  Yes, he is being an ASS.  And guess what?  So are you. 

And for you, Oceana.  <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '8e119fc1-af0b-42d1-be0c-696eecd45046', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/14/14/8e119fc1-af0b-42d1-be0c-696eecd45046.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '8e119fc1-af0b-42d1-be0c-696eecd45046', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> </a>

citygirllovescountryboy

We are 21, honestly I think he was just sharing his opinion on what he preferrend but in a very agressive away, and to be honest I guess I can admit to being a little passive agressive. I quietly listen and then plan on going to my hair appoitment by myself and getting the short hair cut anyways. I feel like workn has it right, don't even tell him about it and just show up with the haircut I like. Sounds much easier and less annoying.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:74abc9e6-0c96-4a20-bce3-447e107dd175">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]We are 21, honestly I think <strong>he was just sharing his opinion on what he preferrend but in a very agressive away, and to be honest I guess I can admit to being a little passive agressive.</strong> I quietly listen and then plan on going to my hair appoitment by myself and getting the short hair cut anyways. I feel like workn has it right, don't even tell him about it and just show up with the haircut I like. Sounds much easier and less annoying.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/7/fa9c92df-e5a0-4491-b7de-b2342de410d2.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'fa9c92df-e5a0-4491-b7de-b2342de410d2', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/7/fa9c92df-e5a0-4491-b7de-b2342de410d2.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:74abc9e6-0c96-4a20-bce3-447e107dd175">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]We are 21, honestly I think he was just sharing his opinion on what he preferrend but in a very agressive away, and to be honest I guess I can admit to being a little passive agressive. I quietly listen and then plan on going to my hair appoitment by myself and getting the short hair cut anyways. I feel like workn has it right, don't even tell him about it and just show up with the haircut I like. Sounds much easier and less annoying.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

I think you're ignoring way bigger issues here than just a haircut.

rxjen

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/7/6237a268-6cf8-4551-97d1-04fd68c8d453.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '6237a268-6cf8-4551-97d1-04fd68c8d453', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/7/6237a268-6cf8-4551-97d1-04fd68c8d453.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:a6e55ed6-ef4c-4997-a5a1-c1c47be8edcb">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stubborn Ass : You both sound ridiculously mature.  Yes, it is YOUR decision.  Yes, he is being an ASS.  And guess what?  So are you.  And for you, Oceana. 
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

notquiteblushing

Just to clarify because I'm rusty with the new folks on this board: you post here because it's a way to pass some time talking to other women, right?  You don't actually think he's THE ONE, do you?

rxjen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:74abc9e6-0c96-4a20-bce3-447e107dd175">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]We are 21, honestly I think he was just sharing his opinion on what he preferrend but in a<strong> very agressive away</strong>, and to be honest I guess I can admit to being a little passive agressive. I quietly listen and then plan on going to my hair appoitment by myself and getting the short hair cut anyways. I feel like workn has it right, don't even tell him about it and just show up with the haircut I like. Sounds much easier and less annoying.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]


WOAH!!!!!

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:f83fbb1d-6276-4b79-9c14-61731cff285b">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Just to clarify because I'm rusty with the new folks on this board: you post here because it's a way to pass some time talking to other women, right?  You don't actually think he's THE ONE, do you?
Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

NQB, you are on fire today!  <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '12363e96-9f73-47eb-8386-d5fcc91c91ff', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/2/3/12363e96-9f73-47eb-8386-d5fcc91c91ff.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '12363e96-9f73-47eb-8386-d5fcc91c91ff', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> </a>

Hazel_B

My BF thought that he preferred long hair. And, then I got my hair cut short - long in the front and much shorter in the back. He was in shock at first, but then said he really liked it and preferred my curls like that. He was combining long hair with femininity, thinking that I wasn't going to look feminine anymore if I had short hair. 

That being said, it's your hair do what you like.  

rxjen

They are getting married in a little over 4 years.He has a lot of time to change.....

HeartOverMind

OK...this post kinda makes me feel like a jerk because a couple of weeks ago BF had this disgusting handlebar mustache thing and I told him I wouldn't kiss him if he kept it...I was mostly joking but he did try to kiss me and I turned away. He shaved it off and I felt bad.

Anyway, so I feel my opinion is not valid.

notquiteblushing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:5dd0941b-a0c4-4723-ac16-71201c2e3589">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]They are getting married in a little over 4 years.He has a lot of time to change.....
Posted by rxjen[/QUOTE]

DED

Why did I ever abandon the board?

citygirllovescountryboy

NQB
I don't have a ring on my finger, but yea we talk almost daily about getting married, and I am absolutely in love with him. I can handle myself, I have been with an abusive guy before. This one shows no signs of being abusive, at all. All of the things we have said back and forth about the haircut have been in very playful tones. Although I know he prefers long hair, I know that he loves me no matter what. He also understands that I am a hairstylist or former hairstylist and I get bored/I know better. My hair is bleached, its fragile, the ends need a massive trim, like 5 or 6 inches off. And in the end he knows that, he just doesn't really love short hair.

AudgiePodge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:f83fbb1d-6276-4b79-9c14-61731cff285b">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Just to clarify because I'm rusty with the new folks on this board: you post here because it's a way to pass some time talking to other women, right?  You don't actually think he's THE ONE, do you?
Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

Not everyone is wise enough to get married after 30

citygirllovescountryboy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:49cec7c4-c8ef-4692-8201-ee92d6bd39b6">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]My BF thought that he preferred long hair. And, then I got my hair cut short - long in the front and much shorter in the back. He was in shock at first, but then said he really liked it and preferred my curls like that. He was combining long hair with femininity, thinking that I wasn't going to look feminine anymore if I had short hair.  That being said, it's your hair do what you like.  
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

I believe boyfriend feels the same way about long hair. Not only the femine part of things, but his momma has always had long hair. I guess he just feels like that defines a woman. Not sure, but like I said hairstylists, we bore easily.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:94f984ed-3a54-4469-bd61-63949612bbde">Re: Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]NQB I don't have a ring on my finger, but yea we talk almost daily about getting married, and I am absolutely in love with him. I can handle myself, I have been with an abusive guy before. <strong>This one shows no signs of being abusive, at all. All of the things we have said back and forth about the haircut have been in very playful tones.</strong> Although I know he prefers long hair, I know that he loves me no matter what. He also understands that I am a hairstylist or former hairstylist and I get bored/I know better. My hair is bleached, its fragile, the ends need a massive trim, like 5 or 6 inches off. And in the end he knows that, he just doesn't really love short hair.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

Minus the whole being aggressive about it part.  <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'd7661de9-adab-43ec-ae82-9aa56e7b1a4a', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/14/d7661de9-adab-43ec-ae82-9aa56e7b1a4a.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
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marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_stubborn-ass?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a730616e-80a6-4c06-86d2-595df603978ePost:6597079f-f818-4e14-ba39-61635ab98248">Stubborn Ass</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep that pretty much describes me when someone tells me not to do something. Especially since I used to be so passive when my ex would do it. Oh you don't want me to go out with my friends? Ok I will just do laundry instead. Ugh I hated that version of me. <strong>So BF tells me that if I cut my hair off today at my hair appoitment that it will be a very long drive back to his house to visit for the weekend. A long quiet drive is exactly what he said.</strong> Hmmm seems to me the other day he said that if he wanted to do something it was his body and he would do with it what he pleased. Does that same theory not apply to me as well? Any advice ladies. My appoitment is in an hour and a half, I am looking at pictures now. I really want an asymmetrical bob, he would rather me just trim up what I have, shoulder lenght and some layers.
Posted by citygirllovescountryboy[/QUOTE]

Hmm. Some of the PPs are worried here. I'm going to go ahead and say that this info alone doesn't tell me that much about you two or your relationship. You asked for his opinion, and he gave it to you. Did he say this in a threatening way? Or was he being kind of breezy, and was it meant in more of a "whoa, I love your long hair, I'd be kind of shocked at first" kind of way?

PPs are totally right, though, that you should get the haircut you want, and definitely don't stand for any controlling behavior if it's happening.

notquiteblushing

Fair enough.  This is probably the first post of yours I've read so you know your relationship better.  But I do know how insecure I was in my own relationships in my early 20's so I hope you don't tolerate any b.s.