Location Discussion

Laelani

Hey all. My SO and I have been discussing a lot about where our wedding should take place. Of course nothing is ever going to be set in stone until we make the engagement official and all of that. Right now we are just in discussion as we want a good idea of what we want to do for once we start actually planning. We have been talking about maybe doing a destination wedding and then do a reception of some sort here with the people that couldn't come after we get back. With that comes the question of cruise vs resort. As well as would a destination wedding end up being as expensive or more so than a traditional wedding at home.

If someone could shed some light on what their experience has been/will be/or has seen someone else go through a destination wedding that would be great. We don't know anyone who's ever done a destination wedding so we would like some insight from someone who has (or who is planning one). 

bourgehm

Where's the third option?

It needs to say: "Don't worry about this now until you're engaged". That's what my vote goes towards. You'll have tons of time then.

Beads921

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_location-discussion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a87ce94e-0d7d-482b-aba3-499df9a3074dPost:1f22aacc-4774-4418-98c4-ea88e46bf826">Re: Location Discussion</a>:
[QUOTE]Where's the third option? It needs to say: "Don't worry about this now until you're engaged". That's what my vote goes towards. You'll have tons of time then.
Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. </div><div>
</div><div>Seriously. The cart is supposed to come after the horse. You will have loads of time once you're engaged.</div>

Wrkn925

D- None of the above.













Wait til he porpoises.

ADTonk

I'd have to say that if you do decide on a destination wedding, I'd recommend a resort. 

As for prices, there are a few things to consider:
- The reception is generally the most expensive part of the wedding, so if you come and have a reception at home, you're not really saving.
- Are you paying to fly a photographer out to the destination wedding?
- If you treat the destination wedding as your honeymoon, then you might even out there.
- Many people find it rude to be asked to a reception without being invited to a wedding... same thing goes with a shower or bachelorette party. 
- Will your family be able to afford to come to your wedding? Are the people who cannot afford it going to be upset with you?

Also.. don't get too planning crazy until the ring comes.  Let things ride out until he pops the question.

bethsmiles

You will have plenty of time to worry about this when you are engaged but I am not a fan of destination weddings. To me and BF a wedding is all about being with the people who love and support us and we want it to be easy/convenient for everyone to celebrate with us.

bourgehm

So far:

2 votes for resort
1 vote for at home
3 votes for don't worry about it now.

Option D wins!

NurseyK

Not that I condone pre-planning.....

But I did go to a cruise ship wedding. It was a ton of fun.... and cost efficient for the bridal party. Most of their friends/extended family couldn't afford the cruise though, as guests, so only the bridal party actually went on the cruise. Everyone else just left after the reception. Just saying... I don't think it's a great idea unless all your friends/extended family have $1000 to blow on attending a wedding. 

ravenray

You do realize that this is the not engaged yet board right?  Not all of us are married or even engaged.... 
I agree with everyone else.  Get engaged first then ask.

heyimbren

Don't worry about this right now. Seriously. Personally, I don't see a problem with the "oh honey, I kind of like the idea of a destination wedding" as long as you add the "...but we'll discuss that more later on when we're engaged and have more details."

There are reasons for this; so much can change in the time that it takes you to get engaged, and even during your engagement. Particularly, things like finances, relationships with other people, etc. which will all come into play once you start actually planning a wedding, and especially a destination wedding.

This is not something you need to figure out right now, or even be discussing in specifics. Which is what you're doing with the whole resort vs. cruise vs. ome idea. Leave it at that, and enjoy your relationship at the present stage.

peekaboo2011

Step away from the destination wedding until you're engaged.  Once you have decided you're engaged, then you can make decisions.

FI and I talked about this sort of thing before we got engaged, but we did it in such a way that we talked about what we would do if we had the unlimited budget.  For example, we said we would fly everyone out to some remote island and do it there.  Which is neither feasible nor cost effective.  

Relax.  You can deal with this when you get engaged.

motoLyn

Option Don't worry about it till you're engaged. 

A DW can be as easy or as hard as YOU make it out to be.  I"m planning a DW in Maui for next year.  I realized that I can plan it on my own if I wasn't a part-time  grad student and working 40 hours a week with a social life.  So I got me a wedding coordinator.  Other DW brides I've talked to are doing a small ceremony at the destination and at home reception when they get back.  That AHR can be in a fancy place or a backyard BBQ.  I have a small guestlist of 50 family members and real close friends.  But all I said above is moot till you're engaged and then you can see what the REAL guest list is like and if a DW is in the cards for you. 

Elle1036

Iagreewitheveryoneelsethatyoucanworryaboutthisonceyou'reactuallyengaged.

Ok, now, I voted "resort".  I've been to a wedding at a resort and, while it wasn't really a destination wedding in the traditional since, it was an out-of-town affair for most guests.  I had a great time.  Most guests stayed on site at the resort hotel, and it was like a mini-vacation for everyone.  I think it's an easier option for most guests than a cruise.

leia1979

If you pre-plan, you'll be sick of it by the actual planning phase.

I'm totally over this wedding planning stuff. My FI thought there was something wrong because I haven't done anything wedding related for about a month, and I said no, I'm just bored with it.

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_location-discussion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a87ce94e-0d7d-482b-aba3-499df9a3074dPost:4bee6640-3df1-4af8-a78c-013302d396db">Re: Location Discussion</a>:
[QUOTE]If you pre-plan, you'll be sick of it by the actual planning phase. I'm totally over this wedding planning stuff. My FI thought there was something wrong because I haven't done anything wedding related for about a month, and I said no, <strong>I'm just bored with it.</strong>
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

This.

I was really excited at the beginning and then got burnt out and if I can go a couple of weeks without anyone asking me about it I be very happy.  Another thought for those out there doing DW a resort and a cruise arent't the only options.  When you figure out where then you can find a venue there that you might like.  It can be a plantation, a theater, an aquarium or zoo or botanical garden.  You can always find a good balance with a hotel near by.  Plus sometimes having a wedding at a resort is more expensive than doing it off site.  Also resorts might try to force you to use their preferred vendors and so you lose the freedom of choice over your wedding. 

Sparrow87

All condemnation of pre-planning aside...  I wouln't get your heart set on a DW if you've always wanted all of your friends and family by your side.  And especially if you don't have a budget to work with yet. 

desertsun

I vote for option D. Stop planning before you're engaged.