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Help me sleep

Hi ladies,

FI snores. A lot. It doesn't matter how he sleeps (e.g. side doesn't help), and I wear earplugs every night. Sometimes it's fine, and I can sleep through the night, and other times one of us ends up on the couch.

Sometimes I push his leg with my foot to get him to wake up a little, but often he goes back to snoring in under a minute, and I can't fall asleep that fast. I woke up at about 5am and had trouble falling asleep, so I tried to wake him up a little like usual. He got up, went to the couch, and now seems to be pissed at me. I tried to get him to go back to bed when I got up, but he refused.

I've looked into things he could do to stop the snoring, but he won't try them and just gets mad at me for suggesting something is wrong. (He's usually really reasonable, so that baffles me.) Anyway, if it's really bad, I'll sleep on the couch, but I find it uncomfortable.

I'm looking for suggestions for earplugs or anything else that will drown out the noise. I need it to be quiet to sleep, and while my earplugs reduce the noise a little, I can still hear everything. Also, should I talk to my doctor? I can't imagine she could do much other than give me sleeping pills, and that's probably not a good long-term solution.


Re: Help me sleep

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    edited December 2011
    A sound machine. You can get them on ebay or amazon. They just make white noise. My house is really loud so I always turn it on and put it by my pillow. It really helps me sleep, and I stay asleep through the night even with talking in the hallway and such- it helps to drown it out.
    When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
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    motoLynmotoLyn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Breathe right strips?  Sleep apnea?  If its bad now think about how bad it'll get when he gets older.  Perhaps approaching it in a more delicate way that going to see a ears, throat and nose specialist might be in order.
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    edited December 2011
    Breathe right strips have saved our relationship!! FI snored so loud and so frequently I would get NO sleep. We got him breathe strips and that pretty much took care of it. On the nights where he's still snoring a bit, I put in heavy duty earplugs made for construction sites and pass out. lol.

    Good luck!
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    edited December 2011
    I usually give BF a punch when he's snoring. In his labia--Oh, wait.

    Maybe I have bigger problems then him snoring.

    (For real though, if it's CHRONIC snoring, it could be an indicator of some health issues, so I'd get that checked out. But I second (or third?) the notion of Breathe Right strips. HTH!)
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    leia1979leia1979 member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies. Unfortunately, he won't try the Breathe Right strips. I wanted him to mention it to the doctor, and he kind of did, but all the doctor did was give him an allergy nasal spray and tell him to lose 10lbs.

    He doesn't seem to have apnea, just snoring.

    I'm looking at a noise machine on Amazon. I'm willing to give it a try.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sleep?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8f5c47d-7e90-42cd-b9ee-689f8cfda365Post:bd376b0c-9857-4e75-960e-06d61d049806">Re: Help me sleep</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks ladies. Unfortunately, he won't try the Breathe Right strips. I wanted him to mention it to the doctor, and he kind of did, but all the doctor did was give him an allergy nasal spray and tell him to lose 10lbs. He doesn't seem to have apnea, just snoring.<strong> I'm looking at a noise machine on Amazon. I'm willing to give it a try.</strong>
    Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

    It really does help drown out lots of noises. If you do end up getting one, pm me and let me know if it helps.
    When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I snore like a water buffalo. Thankfully FI sleeps like he is in a coma.
    I'm not good at feelings.

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sleep?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a8f5c47d-7e90-42cd-b9ee-689f8cfda365Post:e77d9585-802c-41dd-ac72-2880bda8edc6">Re: Help me sleep</a>:
    [QUOTE]I snore like a water buffalo. Thankfully FI sleeps like he is in a coma.
    Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

    LMAO!!

    BF & I both snore so at some decibal we cancel each other out... lol 

    I would definitely try harder to convince him to see another doctor because you taking sleeping pills is NOT a good idea...
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    Hazel_BHazel_B member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess my first question is, is he truly aware that he is snoring? I know my dad snores so badly that you can hear him across the house but he denied that he snores altogether. He went to a sleep clinic and now has a breathing machine that fixed the problem.  In his case a sound machine would do absolutely nothing.

    Is your FI rested after sleeping or not? If he isn't it might be worth checking out a sleep clinic cause they tell you alot about your sleep patterns. My friend went recently and she found it quite beneficial.

    Addition - that last point may be the push he needs.
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    edited December 2011
    Leia - tell him that if he doesn't at least try the Breathe Right Strips he can count on you sleeping out on the couch. Permanently. That's just dumb, they are $3.99 and could solve a problem that actually does lead to the end of relationships sometimes. FI snores because he played soccer for 20 years and has broken his nose 6 times. He also has no ankle ligaments. It's gross.
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    edited December 2011
    My father was diagnosed with Sleep apnea a few years ago, they gave him a machine that pumps air into his lungs, and basically breathes for him.

    When he was getting tested for sleep apnea they had him do a sleep study, his heart stopped something like 207 times and he stopped breathing close to 400 times. They stopped the study early to put him on the machine because they were afraid he wouldn't make it through the night.

    Snoring so bad that he is keeping you awake most likely means there is something more seirous going on and he is struggling to breath when he is asleep- my dad is a very serious case, not everyone is that bad but I would suggest you talk to him about looking into the machine, my mom can finally sleep and now my dad is much better rested because he is not fighting to breath all of the time.

    He didn't realize how horribly he was sleeping until he saw what a good nights sleep was like. My parents insurance covered the study and his machine and he gets a new one every 3 or 4 years. They make some noise, just sounds like someone is blowing air constantly but it is much better than snoring.

    Not trying to scare you but it could be something very serious! Let him know that while you understand he doesn't think it is a big deal it is something that you would appreciate him getting help with so you can both enjoy your nights sleep in the same bed.
    "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt
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    marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Leia, I don't have much useful advice here except to second what PPs have said. I did want to add, though, that if you have a smartphone with the ability to download apps, you can probably find a white noise app for free and give the idea a test drive. I have one on my iPhone, anyway.
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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Marley! I do have an iPhone. I ordered the noise machine from Amazon too. If I don't like it, I'll just send it back.

    Thanks so much to all. He does realize it's a problem, and I think he may be starting to come around on trying to do something to fix it. He actually sleeps just fine, unless I keep kicking him.
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    Hazel_BHazel_B member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Leia - Even if he says he sleeps fine, if he has always snored he may not know what a restful sleep even feels like.
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    edited December 2011
    Leia, there are ear plugs that you purchase that are custom made for your ears. They actually make a cast of your ear and make the ear plugs from that. I have seen the booth at gun shows before. They are made to be worn at the gun range. I think they would work really well if nothing else works because if they can protect your ear drums from a gun shot they can drown out your FI snoring.
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    callalily13callalily13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have a couple of criteria that determine whether or not your fiance has sleep apnea:
    1) if he stops breathing while snoring?
    2) does he snore worse while on his back or less while on his stomach?
    3) if it sometimes sounds like gurgling or as if he is struggling for air?

    I was diagnosed with sleep apnea last year after my fiance was never able to sleep while we were together. I was put in a sleep study (paid by insurance) and they found that I literally stopped breathing anywhere between 20-40 times an hour for too long to be healthy. If this is his problem it could easily be fixed and you too would be able to sleep in the same bed.
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