Not serving dinner at reception... your thoughts?

LilTexasGal

Just to note, FI and I fully plan on serving dinner at our reception, but my sister and her FI are planning on having a "cocktail" reception - meaning no formal dinner. Her ceremony will be at 5, and the reception will start at 6. I know (because I am nomnoming as I type) that I usually eat around 6, and a lot of people have dinner around this time too. I'll still be set from lunch before the wedding starts, and sorry sis, snacks aren't going to cut it. She is also planning on serving wine, beer, and frozen margs. From past experiences with people, alcohol and light finger foods don't mix well.

I think it is very rude not to serve dinner at a dinner-time reception- especially when people in this area are perfectly okay with a BBQ buffet! For our end of year party last year we had BBQ catered and it ended up being $14/person WITH tea and sides. (Splitting tip and tax costs)

Her reason was so that she could cut costs and be able to splurge on a nicer dress, decorations, photography, and venue (venue is booked btw). "No one remembers what they ate at a wedding." I feel that there are other areas you can "cut costs" without sacraficing the dinner. I kind of view dinner as a "thank you" to the guests, but I'm certainly no wedding expert. I could be way off the mark on this one, which is why I am asking you ladies... and yes, I am scared of E, so I'm not going to post there!

So thoughts? Opinions?

Oh and no, I haven't talked to my sister about my thoughts on this.

[Deleted User]

our wedding started at 6:00 pm.  the reception started around 7:00 pm, and we had buffet style apps...  I wouldn't call it "heavy" apps, but they weren't exactly "light" apps either.  the wedding was on a 110 deg day in July, so heavy apps wouldn't have been a good choice IMO. 

our menu consisted of grilled chicken strips, a bruschetta bar, fruit kabobs and a fruit tower, a giant cocktail shrimp tower with dipping sauces, stuffed jalapeno peppers, wonton cups filled with black bean salsa or cream cheese, turkey pinwheels (um, my mom put that on there... I'm not really a fan!), mini veggie quesadillas, mini chicken quesadillas, and 3 types of drinks plus 2 punches.  it was more than enough food, but not so heavy that you can't enjoy it when it's 95-100 degrees at 8 pm.

it was more of a mix and mingle type reception (my fav!) with no sweetheart and/or head table.  after pics, our BMs and GMs were free to do whatever they liked, and it was a lot of fun seeing everyone chatting and having a good time.  a little informal, even with an evening wedding, but around here I haven't often seen a formal type reception, or even a full dinner reception... even in the evening.  I think I've only attended a formal-ish reception once.  I think up north it's more common to see a full-plate and/or formal reception, but at least from my experience it's not so common in my area.

there was plenty to go around (and quite a bit of leftovers we gave out at the end of the night for people to take home!), and lots of options for vegetarians or non-vegetarians.  we didn't really have any beef, but I don't think anyone minded.  if they did, they never said anything. 

ETA:  we purchased enough food for 400 people, and the bill was $3000.  I got a discount because I paid in cash before the wedding.  it also included plates, cocktail napkins, silverware, cups, and all the drinks.  we had a dry reception.  so she CAN do it on a budget, you just have to find the right caterer.  they also didn't charge for cake cutting or server fees.  it was a fabulous deal, and the food was excellent and displayed really creatively, with lights and crystal and fresh flowers.

thejucheidea

At our Consortium meeting last year, we had the heavy apps thing going on and it was awesome. There was a fuckin' mashed potato bar with martini cups and we just walked around with our potato martinis. It was pretty awesome, seeing as there were no tables and everyone was expected to mingle. Also, open bar. It was good times. I'd go to a wedding with heavy apps, but not something with light ones because that's totally lame.

That said, I don't think we could get away with something that awesome because the older people coming would probably expect a full, sit down meal instead of app party. But who knows? By the time we actually get engaged, maybe things will change and we can do something fun like heavy apps.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_not-serving-dinner-at-reception-your-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a925bfcb-c1cd-4761-88c8-c83c2d7e698aPost:8d5bd51b-3f99-456d-8bbf-59e122773a8f">Re: Not serving dinner at reception... your thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not serving dinner at reception... your thoughts? : Everytime we talk about our wedding, I make sure to bring up how badly I need a mashed potato bar.  I haven't won yet, but I have time.  (We've been to 3 or 4 weddings with that, and it's amazing.)
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Mashed potato bars are AMAZING and extremely important to have at any event. <em>Any event</em>.

Peaseblossom55

Mashed potato bars are amazing!!

peekaboo2011

Starving.  I am now starving.

Also, I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm crashing your wedding RDR.  And if Yaga gets that mashed potato bar...I'll be there.

travelerkris

Maybe you could convince your sister to say "Cocktail and Dessert Reception to follow."  Even if it is technically appetizers, cake and cocktails.  At least people would be on notice that it isn't a meal.

Honestly, I understand her not wanting to cater a whole meal and it is her wedding.  But starting at 5:00 without a meal is bad planning- should start at say, 2:00 or 7:00 like another poster commented.  At least give people warning.

alyaki

I have never heard of a mashed potato bar for apps, but I'm certainly intrigued.  I love mashed potatoes.  Also, I like the working travelerkris suggested - would she be open to modifying the wording to something like that?

leia1979

I think the most important part of this is "will guests go hungry?" It sounds like LTG's sister's guests are in danger of that and RDR's are not (in fact, it sounds delicious!). I can tell you what I've had to eat at most weddings, and sometimes there's not much I can eat, which sucks.

I remember one that was banquet-style, and I didn't think I could eat much. Then the groom came by and asked if they brought my plate. Plate? The server came back with a whole heaping plate of vegetarian items, including delicious veggie shrimp, which I'd never had before. I thought that was pretty darn awesome.

Peaseblossom55

It sometimes sucks being a vegetarian at weddings, that does sounds awesome leia.  I went to my friends' wedding 4 years ago and they took orders tableside for food. I told them I was a vegetarian, it took them forever to bring me my food, when they did it was cold and looked it was thrown together without much though. I usually remember the food I eat at weddings too.