"Regrets, I've had a few...."

whereyat

Since we've just been told that we're self-righteous and never made any mistakes (yay!!), I thought I would start a thread for...listing a mistake/regret(?) you've made/had, AND what you've learned from it.

Here's (one of) mine....

I used to always do what "the group" wanted to do, rather than what *I* wanted to do.  Particularly when I was much younger.  I felt like staying home, but someone called me to go to a movie? Movie.  Friends wanted to go "mudding" (riding trucks in mud, for those not from Louisiana.....), but I secretly wanted to go scrapbooking?  Nope, I went mudding.

I have changed this since then, and now decline things all the time LOL.  ....Particularly "girls' nites!!!!" with girls whom I DON'T KNOW.  I seem to get invited to these a lot.  I'm not against meeting new people at all, but I'm just....not gonna go to an event which I was invited to solely because I am a girl.  It feels like the organizer is pandering to "girls!!!" a lot of times with these.

Anyway I look back and think, man I could have had much more enjoyable teenage years if I had just done what I wanted, while still staying open to new experiences. 
Ultimately people will respect you MORE if you say "nah, I'm not into mudding, but I'll catch you guys later."  Duhh, younger Whereyat.

Anyone else?  Or maybe this thread won't get any responses since WE'VE NEVER MADE ANY MISTAKES.

CASK85

I'm perfect. So. Yeah. 

motoLyn

My biggest mistake ever was putting my name on a truck loan for my EX when he and I were together.  His bad credit should have been a big red flag.  But I was in love or at least I thought I was.  Lesson learned: I WILL NEVER put my name on a financial deal that requires credit checks and massive loan till there is a wedding band on my finger and we're legally married.  FYI I took that truck away from him and sold it.  Felt real good when I did that, didn't quite feel as good as what Carrie Underwood felt like in her song but close enough since legally it was my truck.  Felt even better when I knew he didn't have a back up car and only a motorcycle and his new GF that he started dating two weeks after we broke up was left without any transportation. 

calindi

When I was 18, I fell in love.  And he fell in love.  It was perfect... until it wasn't, and he started falling out of love with me.  I pushed harder, and lost my identity.  I was "Steve's Girlfriend" and not just "Cate".  I compromised all the time on things that were important to me because I knew subconsciously that if we fought, he'd break up with me.  So when he forgot my birthday, I didn't even get mad.  I let a lot of things go that I should have been pissed about.  When it finally ended, I felt like I had lost a piece of myself.  I will never lose my identity again.  I will always stand up for myself and what I believe in.  If I have every right to be mad about something, then I'm going to be mad.  I will always be myself before I'm "BF's girlfriend". 

And those are the main regrets I have.

Wrkn925

I'm always scared of how it could have turned out,
...but I always wonder how life would have been if I would've accepted the cheerleading scholarship and left my high school sweatheart.

Who knows, I might've turned in to a crazy hellion and get kicked out of school, or become paralyzed in a freak pyramid accident....I don't know.  But life is good now, so no worries.

jemmini6

I can't say that I've had any real regrets.  Not because I'm perfect and never made mistakes, but because I learned from the mistakes I did make and they've helped me make better decisions.

I will say though that my biggest learning experience was my ex BF.  We met our freshman year of college and got intense really fast.  Some things were good, but I was so in love that I overlooked a lot of the things that were bad.  It wasn't until after we broke up that I realized how wrong he really was for me and how stupid some of our arguements were.

That experience raised my standards when it came to dating and helped me recognize the signs that it wasn't a healthy relationship long before it ever really became one.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regrets-ive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a9858f4b-5a60-46f5-9691-63acd9cbec20Post:39afd004-e644-49c2-911a-c73d4c81cb9d">"Regrets, I've had a few...."</a>:
[QUOTE]Since we've just been told that we're self-righteous and never made any mistakes (yay!!), Posted by whereyat[/QUOTE]

Where did I miss this?

SeaTea02

Ditto Wrkn 

whereyat

These are really helpful...and who knows maybe someone reading this will become inspired.

I just wanted to add that my thing wasn't necc my "biggest" regret, but just one that came to mind....hmm, my biggest regret, lemme think about that and get back to....myself...

whereyat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regrets-ive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a9858f4b-5a60-46f5-9691-63acd9cbec20Post:0a0e0323-7d2d-4b7d-b1d7-12beed00a315">Re: "Regrets, I've had a few...."</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to "Regrets, I've had a few...." : Where did I miss this?
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

About 2/3 of the way down: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_elaborate-earlier-post" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_elaborate-earlier-post</a> .

We were even congratulated on being perfect!! 
"Wow, thank you, I wasn't expecting this, I didn't have a speech prepared, there's so many people I want to thank...."

bourgehm

I think my biggest 'regret' is getting engaged too early.

At the time I though it was a great idea to get engaged when I was a freshman in college because FI and I were going to be married a year and a half later. But we both changed a lot during my first year of college and second, and when the wedding time was getting closer I realized that we had NO idea how we were going to survive. Niether of us had jobs. I would have to drop out of school. Sure sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. So now we've pushed it back until after I graduate college so that FI can have all of his school loans paid pack (he's done with college), and I"ll have my degree, which I really do want. So I guess I just regret not listening to everyone who said that I wont be able to financially survive after the wedding, and i honestly know I wouldn've been able to. So my biggest regret it just that I didnt' take everything into consideration before I got engaged. Yes, I want to marry him still, but this 4 year engagement could have EASILY been avoided with just a little bit mroe thinking.

SeaTea02

Oh sheet. I see that now. I read the beginning yesterday but never went back. 

My mistake: 

I am a really loyal person and always defend my friends or really anyone I feel needs it. In high school I was pretty in your face about it. A girl I became friends with used this to her full advantage. She would piss people off, act as if she was a victim and then ask me to defend her. I always would and she would come off smelling like a rose. I made so many enemies and there were a lot of people that didn't like me either because I was mean to them or one of their friends. I finally realized what she was doing, and we stopped being friends. 

I have since apologized to a lot of people and made amends for things I said that were probably way out of line. I am by no means now a "push over" I just make sure the person I am defending really needs my help and doesn't just want me to be "the enforcer". I feel like I am a better person now and a of my drama came from this girl. 

Note: when I say defend, I don't mean "hey don't you talk to her that way". I was horrible, ruthless, and made people cry. 

Wrkn925

Seatea, I could've used you Saturday night.

I had a few too many beer and $3 Jager bombs, and I went off on a group of girls in the bathroom for cutting line.

I didn't consider that I was drunk without backup...

I snapped back and didn't back down, but I very well could've got my ass kicked.

SeaTea02

Haha! Bar fight!

I went off on some lady for cutting me in line at Old Navy a few weeks ago. We were in line for over 20 minutes and when it was my turn to go up she pushed in front of me. I was like I AM 6 FEET TALL AND WEARING BRIGHT PINK I KNOOOW YOU DID NOT MISS ME. We were in line for 20min, she knew I was in front of her. Pet peeve of mine. If she said she had an appointment or had to pick up her kids and asked to get in front of me I would have let her too. 

I am actually 5' 10", but 6' rolled off the tongue better.  

skyler1108

Ok while my biggest regrets are just too personal to discuss I will tell you a regret I do have even, if it is not my biggest. I regret not taking advantage of all the free schooling that was offered to me.

In 8th grade I was offered to start taking one college class a semester for both 9th and 10th grade and then go full time in both 11th and 12th grade all for free. I only took classes my 12th grade year. Yes, it did allow me to graduate a year early but I could have graduated 2 years or even more early. This also would have reduced the amount of student loans that I have.

Oh well, at least I didn't pass it all up.

KatyRoseM

I kind of regret going to law school.  I don't because I met Fi, but at the same time its 3 years, lots of money, and leaving me with few opportunities. 

skyler1108

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regrets-ive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a9858f4b-5a60-46f5-9691-63acd9cbec20Post:e258b44d-d0e8-4863-a711-19f544f7ceb1">Re: "Regrets, I've had a few...."</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha! Bar fight! I went off on some lady for cutting me in line at Old Navy a few weeks ago. We were in line for over 20 minutes and when it was my turn to go up she pushed in front of me. I was like I AM 6 FEET TALL AND WEARING BRIGHT PINK I KNOOOW YOU DID NOT MISS ME. We were in line for 20min , she knew I was in front of her. Pet peeve of mine. If she said she had an appointment or had to pick up her kids and asked to get in front of me I would have let her too.  I am actually 5' 10", but 6' rolled off the tongue better.  
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

Haha seriously I don't take things like this well. I would have said something to her. Although FI does not like it when I confront people. He is less confrontational than I am so mostly he likes me to let things go but usually I don't lol.

SeaTea02

My BF and I are the same way. He is not confrontational at all. I think that is why we work though, it is hard to have two personalities like that in one relationship. 

skyler1108

That is very true SeaTea. It's funny because some times FI is like "baby, calm down. it's really not worth getting worked up over." and other times he likes it if I take charge of a situation. It's a nice balance because I do like that he helps me keep a level head sometime.

zipis1

Being too shy or something to actually take part in activities I wanted to. Like in school when they asked someone to come up and do something with the horse/cow/whatever, I would usually hang back because I was afraid of messing up.

I really regret that. I'm trying to be better at it, but I still do it sometimes. So many wasted opportunities.

loves2shop4shoes

Hmmm...I don't know if I have "regrets".  There are times in my life that I look back on and cringe.  There are things that happened, that if I was currently in the situation, I'd handle very differently.  But each of these things helped shape me into the person that I am today.

PaigeMcC

I regret that I never stood up for myself and that I was so shy and quiet when I was a kid.  Not around adults...I'm talking other kids.  I let myself get pushed around.  But once I hit about 15 I had figured the world out.  Now no one pushes me around. 

AudgiePodge

I regret getting married the first time.

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_regrets-ive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a9858f4b-5a60-46f5-9691-63acd9cbec20Post:39cd2859-709e-4b99-a7d8-6b3bbc3e6eae">Re: "Regrets, I've had a few...."</a>:
[QUOTE]I regret getting married the first time.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>AP wins :-)

</div>

coastiegrl25

I would regret my first marriage but I know that I wouldn't be here today if it never happened.