Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Not Engaged Yet
Not Engaged Yet
New Discussion

Is this normal?

bethsmilesbethsmiles member
10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
in Not Engaged Yet
My mom called me today and told me that while she was at the mall yesterday looking for a new dress (which is weird cuz she almost never wears dresses) she met an family friend who was also looking at dresses but was carrying around a crayon and comparing the color of the dress to the color of the crayon. When my mom asked her what was up with that she said that her son is getting married and her FDIL gave her the crayon so she would know what color of dress to wear.

I think that is so bizarre. Why would she tell her FMIL what to wear? Did any of you girls that are engaged/married tell/told your parents what to wear at the wedding? I know if I tried to tell my mom what to wear she would just laugh at me lol.


Report Reply to Post

Re: Is this normal?

  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Of course. I gave my FMIL a moldy piece of bread and told her to match the color it turns on day #14.
    Report Reply
  • NarwhalNarwhal
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That is a little strange.  Maybe she asked what color she should wear?
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • bajedivabajediva member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The only thing crazier than a bride telling her FMIL what colour to wear is an FMIL matching crayons to dresses to decide what to wear. Get the eff out, this cannot be for cereal. 

    I know people get extreme and I've heard of similar cases before, but each time I still ask, "Really?" Telling a grown woman exactly what colour to wear? And a grown woman listening??!! I'm having trouble choosing an emotional response: is it hilarious, sad, or wrath-inducing? Idk.

    EDIT: ROFL @katanne!!!
    Report Reply
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:d75cf2c3-0acb-4e89-96cf-9469824fe531">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Of course. I gave my FMIL a moldy piece of bread and told her to match the color it turns on day #14.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    Oh yes thats MUCH better than a crayon. LOL


    Report Reply
  • BlueBoxBrideBlueBoxBride member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Yiiiiiiiikes. Was the crayon periwinkle, salmon, bubble gum or macaroni and cheese? 

    I don't even get why the bride would even care what color the MIL wears. It's not like she's going to be standing during the ceremony, right? 
    "I liked it, so I put a ring on it" - future Mr. Box
    Report Reply
  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's bizzare.  I'd never dream of telling any guests what to wear.  They're adults and are more than capable of dressing themselves appropriately.  They are not props.
    image
    Report Reply
  • zaneopalzaneopal member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Weird. My mom and my hypothetical FMIL can wear whatever they like. If they want my input, I'll go shopping with them, but they know what colors they look best in and what style they like.

    Which is a bigger deal for my mom, frankly, since she's pretty limited in the wearable color department--green and yellow make her look ill, red and pink make her look sunburnt. Her wardrobe is a lot of blue, purple, and black. (Huh...that's where I get it from...I seriously just realized that)
    Report Reply
  • KD+BCKD+BC
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow. Bridezilla alert!!!

    Seriously though, I like to think of myself as a really relaxed and accommodating bride. I picked the color and designer of the BM dresses and let the girls choose their dress. I told the girls any brown shoe they like is fine with me. I told them they can wear any jewelry they want. I told my mom and FMIL to wear whatever they love. And I'm getting yelled at. BMs want me to pick a specific shoe and jewelry. FMIL wants to know what color to wear. The only one who doesn't seem to mind is my mom. Uhg...they crayon sounds great right about now!!!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I didn't tell my mom, step-mom or FMIL what to wear. FMIL apparently must hear a lot of bridezilla stories because she asked a few times what I wanted her to wear and has asked a few times about the dress she got if its ok. I said I don't care. Wear what you would like.

    My mom was straight up a pain in the A when she was looking for a dress.

    They only thing I have suggested is for the dad's to wear paisly ties becuase they are not renting tuxes (the groom/groomsmen are) and the groom/groomsmen are wearing paisly ties. I said this hoping to somewhat tie them into the wedding party.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:b8954d92-2b4d-48ad-88e7-8beb368c12eb">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yiiiiiiiikes. Was the crayon periwinkle, salmon, bubble gum or macaroni and cheese?  I don't even get why the bride would even care what color the MIL wears. It's not like she's going to be standing during the ceremony, right? 
    Posted by BlueBoxBride[/QUOTE]

    Haha...it wasn't even a fun color unfortunatly. It was just a dark shade of blue.


    Report Reply
  • StephB1185StephB1185 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    haha... I can't imagine giving my FMIL a crayon, or swatch, and telling her to MATCH it...

    But... on the other hand - I do want to go shopping with her... because the last wedding we went to together (FI was the best man) she wore a brown, horizantal striped turtleneck sweater and khaki colored leggings with tennis shoes... AHH!!! So, yes, I would like to shop with her to make sure she wears SOMETHING that will look nice in photos... is that bad? hope not.. I don't want her to wear a turtleneck sweater... :-)    Gotta love her!
    "Diversity is the key to life, without it we would be a mindless drone of a single colored spectrum."
    Report Reply
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:e72ab7e4-2520-408b-99c1-ab384f8b2283">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow. Bridezilla alert!!! Seriously though, I like to think of myself as a really relaxed and accommodating bride. I picked the color and designer of the BM dresses and let the girls choose their dress. I told the girls any brown shoe they like is fine with me. I told them they can wear any jewelry they want. I told my mom and FMIL to wear whatever they love. And I'm getting yelled at. BMs want me to pick a specific shoe and jewelry. FMIL wants to know what color to wear. The only one who doesn't seem to mind is my mom. Uhg...they crayon sounds great right about now!!!
    Posted by KD+BC[/QUOTE]

    Maybe they just think that the bride is supposed to dictate all of that to them. Surely they know how to dress themselves for a wedding.


    Report Reply
  • KD+BCKD+BC
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:91cee9e9-4d8b-47c5-a56b-71f351ca36bc">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is this normal? : Maybe they just think that the bride is supposed to dictate all of that to them. Surely they know how to dress themselves for a wedding.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    Haha, yes, they will all look great! I think they all assume the bride is supposed to tell them what to wear and are thrown by my nonchalance.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My bridesmaids also thought it was weird that I wasn't just picking whatever dress I liked and forcing it on them. Which that is a good thing, because I came to learn that what I really liked most of my bridesmaids didn't like. We have vastly different styles so I guess it all makes sense in the end.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • BlueBoxBrideBlueBoxBride member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I am planning on picking out the BMs' dresses... but I also am planning on paying for them, since I can be a psycho about anything fashion related. I work in fashion, so I just get a little passionate about how things "look." 


    "I liked it, so I put a ring on it" - future Mr. Box
    Report Reply
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:0514e46d-b8ca-4596-ba5a-c8e13bdf207f">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am planning on picking out the BMs' dresses... but I also am planning on paying for them, since I can be a psycho about anything fashion related. I work in fashion, so I just get a little passionate about how things "look." 
    Posted by BlueBoxBride[/QUOTE]

    As long as you pay for the dresses then I think that is fine. Although hopefully you will still allow them to have some input since they are the ones who have to wear the dress.


    Report Reply
  • pavingtheroadpavingtheroad member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I say this is definitly over the top, if she asked the brides opinion on what color to wear then thats acceptable but going to stores with a crayon to match is extreme. If someone asked me what color they should wear I'd just say blue or brown, etc, not robbins egg blue or latte
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    My Planning Bio
    123image 64image 35 image 24image RSVP Deadline: June 15, 2010
    Report Reply
  • mythomanicmythomanic member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:47e1a98b-84f5-4800-92f6-cc302f93c5e5">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE] As long as you pay for the dresses then I think that is fine. Although hopefully you will still allow them to have some input since they are the ones who have to wear the dress.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    Yes please. Am heartily glad the bride for my last BM duty let us pick dress styles. I am kinda less well-endowed - a strapless dress like she originally wanted would not have looked good for either of us. I say 'us' because it would have slid off me, and then her wedding video would have been ruined.

    As for the crayon schtick - maybe the wedding was sponsored by Crayola.
    Report Reply
  • m983m983 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Was she supposed to match the color on the paper wrapped around the crayon or the actual wax?  I need to know to make my psycho call.
    Report Reply
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:0099929c-b562-4faa-aab0-1a86283caf2f">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Was she supposed to match the color on the paper wrapped around the crayon or the actual wax?  I need to know to make my psycho call.
    Posted by m983[/QUOTE]

    The actual wax


    Report Reply
  • BlueBoxBrideBlueBoxBride member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_this-normal-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6667529-6ad6-475c-952f-cc0db720a61bPost:47e1a98b-84f5-4800-92f6-cc302f93c5e5">Re: Is this normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is this normal? : As long as you pay for the dresses then I think that is fine. Although hopefully you will still allow them to have some input since they are the ones who have to wear the dress.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    <div>Since I style for a living, I am definitely not picking out anything that won't be flattering to my BMs. I personally do not like the whole same-color/different dress look that David's Bridal is pushing and I personally don't like the fabrics on most "bridesmaid" or wedding dresses. I am choosing appropriate cocktail dresses from Saks and as far as I felt out, they're thrilled that they are being gifted a dress that won't be a bridesmaid dress. Two of the three email me constantly for style advice and the third used to have me pick out clothes for her and pay me back. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
    "I liked it, so I put a ring on it" - future Mr. Box
    Report Reply
  • brandiboohbrandibooh
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just don't get why what the mother wears is such an issue. My mom and my Fi's mom were EXCELLENT single mothers and all I care about is them being happy and comfortable- so they can come as they please!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Number Invited 181image Number Attending 148image Number Declined 23image Number Not Replied 10image RSVP Date July 7 Magic Number:150
    Report Reply
  • rickylee244rickylee244 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think my FMIL would have liked me to tell her exactly what to wear.  She's a bit of a stickler to tradition and wouldnt even go look for a dress until my mom got hers.  Luckily the two moms made a collective decision about what color they wanted to wear.

    I find it very disrespectful to force something on someone.  They are grown women and can make thier own decision.
    Photobucket Visit The Nest! Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • flightynightieflightynightie member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay, if the bride demanded that FMIL match the crayon, she's definitely a bridezilla (and I'm sure some are that bad), but when I read this I thought back to my sister's wedding.  My mom picked out her own dress and she (my mom) wanted to match the wedding colors so that everyone would look matchy-matchy.  Maybe this bride isn't insane and the MIL just wanted to match the wedding colors?


    Edited to fix a wonky sentence. 
    Report Reply
  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think that's hysterical, I'd love to see someone come into the store w/a crayon!
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards