Family driving me crazy

tiffk10

So.... the BF and I went ring shopping over a year ago and picked out a ring that he started paying on and has had in his possession about 8 months. In my excitement of him wanting to take me and picking the ring of my dreams, I foolishly told our families that we had gone shopping and picked out a ring. 

Ever since they continue to ask me if we are engaged yet. As if I wouldn't call and tell them that we were (we are both living out of state of our families so a call would be necessary). How is a girl supposed to stay level headed when people continue bringing up the much anticipated proposal? I swear every time I get myself in check and under control someone else is bringing it up. 

Most recently it has been my sisters that have been asking me. They are 11 and 16 so I don't know how to tell them that asking me is driving me nuts. I don't know if there is any good advice to be given in this situation, but you ladies are great at talking people down and have fantastically witty comments that I enjoy. So please, offer advice if you have any. If not, offer me something witty to pull me out of my funk.

deburnin

Look on the bright side at least they're not like my siblings who always say it will never happen. Yeah, my siblings are jerks.

No, but in all honesty, family can be clueless when it comes to this sort of thing. I usually just roll my eyes and change the subject or I tell them one of two things depending on my mood. 1.) It'll happen when it happens or 2.) None of your business.

redheadtmk

i would ask them to please stop asking. tell them that you will obviously be so over joyed you will call and share the news. i am pretty straight forward with my family so I would be a lot less nice about it. anyway you should be able to be straight forward and honest with your family....they are stuck with you!!! tell em to back off already

Elle1036

I agree with Deburnin in that you should, if nothing else, be grateful that your family is excited and supportive.

If it bothers you that much, then just let thme know.  They are asking you about it because they like sharing this experience with you, not because they want to frustrate you.  If you let them know how it's affecting you, they'll probably be surprised and apologetic.

bethsmiles

The last time I was home my dad asked me if I was engaged. I just laughed and told him that getting engaged is something I would tell him ASAP and he wouldn't have to ask.

My only advice is to tell your sisters that they will know when it happens so they can stop asking you and remember that they aren't trying to drive you nuts they are just excited for you and want you to be happy because they care about you.

mzm153

I agree with bethsmiles, just say that when you do get engaged, you'll let them know ASAP. I almost told my family how my BF brought up the subject of the metal of the ring he wanted to give me when he proposes. Glad I didn't. Wanna make it a surprise either by just telling them when it happens or him surprising them by asking for permission. This way they'll leave me alone until he really proposes. LOL

[Deleted User]

BF's 10 year old niece is constantly asking me or BF when we are getting married... I'm pretty sure with the encouragement of her mother (BFs Sister)... but every time she asks I tell her "When you are old enough to get a job and pay for the wedding!" That shuts her up for a little while... LOL

Wrkn925

That's kind of my exact situatoin, i told my family we looked too.  I'm HORRIBLE at keeping news to myself.

Mom keeps asking, and I just tell her "Our finances are tight, so I don't except it to happen soon."

or
"We're slowing our roll, I'll tell ya when it speeds up."

or

"Have you tried the cheese dip?"  I don't like bean dip.

sessionswedding

You guys are too nice to your families.  I'd just be like "Ask again and die."  Lol.

tiffk10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_family-driving-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b796de3f-5cab-4b4a-a65b-e41c2b2a5db9Post:10c11b3f-a315-4f10-ad98-77e095d56d5a">Re: Family driving me crazy</a>:
[QUOTE] "Have you tried the cheese dip?"  I don't like bean dip.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]
 Haha that is awesome. <div>
</div><div>I think I am going to say something to the adults the next time they bring it up. I told my youngest sister last night when she asked me that he will do it when he is ready, so hopefully I have solved the problem with her. And if she is being told to or inspired by my stepmom she will pass along the message lol. I really do appreciate the family being excited but there are times when they ask me what is going on with us at a time when I am being overly sensitive that he hasn't asked yet. I know I should just be excited that he is going to ask me someday and enjoy things how they are. Most of the time I have not problem with this, but I wont lie and say this is never an issue for me.  Thanks for the advice and letting me vent ladies! You rock!</div>

Blue & White

They're your sisters, they're always going to ask.

For instance, MY sisters (and aunts, uncles, cousins, people that think they are related to me) are going to harass BF this weekend.  Not a big deal.  They all are just excited for our future engagement.  Actually, they're excited that they get to come to a big shindig (obviously, my family weddings are amazing, haha).

But yea, just take it with a grain of salt.  You know the day is coming, so enjoy the days you have now

(my one sister is particularly hilarious on this subject...and she's the constant joke around these parts..."oh, I bet sis is gonna be bugging you when we see her next".  It's cute)

whereyat

This is exactly why I haven't told certain people (for me, it's ppl at work) that we're designing my e-ring.  (That, and with co-workers, it's even LESS of their business).

My family, who knows, has already started making wedding suggestions to me (oy vey)....How I handle this is tell them some of these statements:

-"Don't get "burned out" on all this, I don't want you to be sick of it by the time it happens." [The most-used statement]
Variations of that:
-"You're gonna burn me out on all this wedding stuff! I just want to watch TV (or whatever)"
-"I have NOOO IDEA." [Said nicely with a shrug, when they ask how many people we're going to have or blah-de-blah]
-"You're gonna scare BF away with all this wedding stuff. You know how men are." [This is not exactly true, but it shuts them up].

So maybe for you, you could say:
-"I have no idea, I ain't a fortune teller!" (Ok maybe if you are not from the South y'all would have different sayings ).
-"You're being so silly, you think I won't tell you the minute it happens? Chill out sweetiepie!"
-"You're gonna scare him away if you keep asking! ZIP IT."

Obvs it depends how you talk to your family and all that....mine are kinda goofy.

Just another footnote that my fam is not completely obnoxious and BSC like it might seem in the post....just every ~once in awhile~ they'll ask me something and I try to "shut it down" as quickly as I can.  (we've been designing the ring since June so it's not like they say all these things at once).
Because seriously, I really Don't want them to get burned out, and we will have PLENTY of time once it actually happens.

skyler1108

I would just tell them "Since I am anxious for the proposal myself I try not to think about it because it makes me super impatient. I would appreciate it if you did not say anything that makes me think about it. But as soon as it happens you will be one of the first to know. "

PaigeMcC

Ditto PP's.  Just let them know that you're excited too and you'll let them know when it happens.

Now some fun answers.....
Warning: These may not all be sister appropriate.

"We prefer living in sin."

"Wow.  That's personal, how about you tell me about your pap smear first"

"Just lucky, I guess."

"White is not my colour."

EhTb4evr

Paige- those literally made me laugh out loud! my BF's family is the EXACT same way..in fact, this past Thanksgiving my FMIL came into her living room where BF and i were sitting and gave BF his grandmothers wedding set and said "here, we want you to have these! so ask already!" Of course I knew I was getting them already, but really?! come on! I guess everytime my FMIL tries to plan my wedding or brings it up i just tell her that when the day comes, she will definately know! so drop it! (trust me, shes crazy!) ha good luck hun!