Church or Reception Site?

Kimberly0402

I've been thinking about where to get married. It doesn't matter to my FI. He will go with whatever I decide. If we get married at my church it will be at 2pm, while if we get married at the Reception site we can do it whenever we want and where ever we want at the country club.

I don't know if I want to get married in a church anymore. I have always said that it was important to me that I get married in my church, but there are things about the church that upset me and there are things about the priest that bother me. We would also have to go through pre-cana classes.

I know that when I was a little girl that's all I wanted, but what if my dreams are different now? I'm afraid that if I don't get married in the church I will regret it.

Please help me with advice. What have your experiences been?

kerrib11

  We attend church and I always thought I wanted to get married in a church, but I've changed my mind.  We're getting married in a chapel...it has the feel and look of a church, but it's not one.  

  

katiedidthat

I would definitely talk to your priest or look into pre-marital mentoring, just to get a feel for what getting married in the church would be like.  Don't make it about what time you can get married, look into both sides of the situation equally and think it over.  My sister grew up saying she wanted to get married in the church and then when she first got engaged, she found out she would have to have an early afternoon ceremony and changed her mind.   At the last minute she decided that having her marriage recognized by the church was more important than the time of day of the wedding and she had the church ceremony.  She told me when I got engaged that she was glad she choose the church because she definitely feels now that she would have regretted having a non-church wedding just to fit a certain time schedule. 

Avion22

If you have issues with your church and priest, could you possibly look into joining a different church?   Do you have time?  Sometimes even a different church of the same denomination, with a different priest, can have a different feel.  If you go this route, be sure to meet with the new priest and explain that while planning your wedding you realized that you and your old church weren't a good fit, and decided it was a good time to try a different parish. 

If it's the whole idea of organized religion that bothers you, and you don't think you want the church to be a part of your life anymore, then that's a different matter.  No judgement from me, I'm not a church-goer myself (for personal reasons)...organized religion just isn't a good fit for everyone. 

But yeah, definitely expore the reasons you're feeling iffy about your current church.  That reason will dictate your next steps.

Sarahkayfa

I'd really recommend going through some type of pre-marital counseling, even if you don't go through the pre-cana. It's really very important. When you're married in the church, the implication is that you'll continue there and raise your children there. And that's a big commitment if you're unsure. Talk to your priest. Visit some other denominations. Look at some other venues. Consider getting married by a non-demoninational officiant outdoors? But this isn't just a venue decision. It's a life decision.