S/O: Babies

SKP82 · November 2011

Mutley's post in the other thread made me think of a couple of things:

In Response to Re: S/O What is your reaction to babies?:
[QUOTE]And as far as pregnancy and labor, I do it because I want a large family. I do not think that pregnancy is beautiful. I do not think that all pregnant women glow. I jokingly refer to this one as a parasite. I love, love, love what pregnancy brings but I do not love pregnancy itself. Labor is traumatic. And I really don't get the women who say that you forget about it over time. I don't think you do. Was it worth it to me? Five million percent. That doesn't mean that I am ever going to forget the days that I was in labor or the excruciating pain or my epidural that didn't work.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

I have a friend who is the same way. She is currently pregnant with her 3rd, and has had a tough time in her previous two pregnancies ("morning" sickness throughout the pregnancies). She doesn't enjoy being pregnant. I have always thought I would really enjoy being pregnant. Never having been pregnant, I never really thought about it any other way until my friend mentioned this to me. So, (if you want to have children), do you think you will enjoy being pregnant or do you think it will be a means to an end for you?

I have another friend who wants to have at least one child someday. She, however, does not want to give birth. She wants to schedule a C-section to "deliver" her baby so that she doesn't "ruin" her lady parts. To me, this seems VERY selfish. Why have a baby if you're not willing to go through the entire process? To me, a C-section is not an ideal situation and should be used if there's a problem - not to be the 1st choice. What do you think about scheduling a C-section to have a baby if there's no medical reason to do so?

paintgirl · November 2011

Forget about her lady bits, does your friend know she'll end up with stretch marks, a belly pooch and possibly sagging boobs? People can SEE that sh*t. Plus they can sew the cooch back up good as new.

I wouldn't want a C-section unless it was medically necessary. Too many risks to be an elective surgery.

bethsmiles · November 2011

I personally would not have a C-section if it weren't medically necessary. Ideally I would like to do the entire things naturally without any drugs but I could change my mind when the time actually comes. However, I think that the way a woman gives birth is a very personal choice so I wouldn't judge someone for choosing to schedule a c-section. I did a paper on the medicalization of birth and I was surprised to find that that is actually becoming a more and more popular option for women.

thejucheidea · November 2011

The following is purely what I feel I want to do and I am passing no judgment on how others go about birthing their children.

There is no way in hell that I could look at a calendar and schedule the day my child would be born (vaginally or by c-section). I think the body knows when it wants to expel the invader and that we should respect the body's wishes. I don't like the thought of birthing in a hospital because I want to have the ability to wander. I'd prefer laboring at home and then birthing at a birthing center with the use of a midwife and a doula. I'd prefer birthing at home to birthing at a hospital. I do not want an epidural nor do I want any kind of labor-intensifying drug. I want to go in knowing that it's going to hurt like f*ck rather than going in expecting the pleasure of an epidural and having it screw up. I figure that if the women before me over the ages were able to birth viciously, then by God, I can birth viciously too.

But that's just me. I had a very horrible birthing experience happen to a friend's girlfriend recently and it made me very angry (baby wasn't ready to come out, she was having light contractions, he had to get back to Nashville from Iowa, so they decided to go ahead and induce her -- turned into a 72 hour nightmare with three failed epidurals and a bunch of other sh*t going on), so it's made me really think about birthing choices as they pertain to me.

Elle1036 · November 2011

I had a coworker once who had bad morning sickness throughout her pregnancy, but she said she almost enjoyed it because it was a daily reminder that she was pregnant, which was something she had wanted for a long time. I thought she was nuts. Lol. If we ever decide we want biological children, the pregnancy will just be something I'll have to suffer through. I'm emetophobic and I have breathing issues, so I imagine that every day would be miserable. I don't think scheduling the c-section is "selfish" exactly, because the only one it negatively affects is the mom, but I don't think it's the wisest decision either.

bethsmiles · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:5f91788d-9c74-4635-a1af-3af3753507c6">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]The following is purely what I feel I want to do and I am passing no judgment on how others go about birthing their children. There is no way in hell that I could look at a calendar and schedule the day my child would be born (vaginally or by c-section). I think the body knows when it wants to expel the invader and that we should respect the body's wishes. I don't like the thought of birthing in a hospital because I want to have the ability to wander. I'd prefer laboring at home and then birthing at a birthing center with the use of a midwife and a doula. I'd prefer birthing at home to birthing at a hospital. I do not want an epidural nor do I want any kind of labor-intensifying drug. I want to go in knowing that it's going to hurt like f*ck rather than going in expecting the pleasure of an epidural and having it screw up. I figure that if the women before me over the ages were able to birth viciously, then by God, I can birth viciously too. But that's just me. I had a very horrible birthing experience happen to a friend's girlfriend recently and it made me very angry (baby wasn't ready to come out, she was having light contractions, he had to get back to Nashville from Iowa, so they decided to go ahead and induce her -- turned into a 72 hour nightmare with three failed epidurals and a bunch of other sh*t going on), so it's made me really think about birthing choices as they pertain to me.
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

I've considered a route similar to that. Obviously since I'm not pregnant I haven't thought about it too much. I think I'd like to be at a hospital in case things went wrong though. But I think I need to do a lot more research on all of the options before making a decision.

desertsun · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:0d8b6c64-a7eb-42e5-b3c6-f9413c172360">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a coworker once who had bad morning sickness throughout her pregnancy, but she said she almost enjoyed it because it was a daily reminder that she was pregnant, which was something she had wanted for a long time. I thought she was nuts. Lol. If we ever decide we want biological children, the pregnancy will just be something I'll have to suffer through. I'm emetophobic and I have breathing issues, so I imagine that every day would be miserable. I don't think scheduling the c-section is "selfish" exactly, because the only one it negatively affects is the mom, but I don't think it's the wisest decision either.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

Actually, it can also have a serious impact on the baby, as well. Babies born via c-section are MUCH more likely to have breathing problems.

Your body, your business.

But I would personally not choose an elective c-section as I believe it is not what is best for the baby.

SKP82 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:0d8b6c64-a7eb-42e5-b3c6-f9413c172360">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a coworker once who had bad morning sickness throughout her pregnancy, but she said she almost enjoyed it because it was a daily reminder that she was pregnant, which was something she had wanted for a long time. I thought she was nuts. Lol. If we ever decide we want biological children, the pregnancy will just be something I'll have to suffer through. I'm emetophobic and I have breathing issues, so I imagine that every day would be miserable. I don't think scheduling the c-section is "selfish" exactly, because the only one it negatively affects is the mom, but I don't think it's the wisest decision either.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

I suppose selfish isn't the right word. It doesn't sit right with me, though, that a person wants a child but isn't willing to go through the pain of labor in order to have the child. I guess it seems like the easy way out to me, and if a woman isn't willing to go through labor, maybe she should reconsider if having a child is a good idea? There will be many other sacrifices that come along with being a parent. The pain and discomfort of labor is just the beginning.
I *may* feel differently after this, though, after having given birth. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

P.S. There are risks to the baby that is being delivered via C-section as well, so it could affect the baby negatively as well.

<a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/cesareanrisks.html">http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/cesareanrisks.html</a>

[Deleted User] · November 2011

I'm with ahstillwell and yaga.

Over a year ago I decided that I wanted to go through a natural birth and not be forced on a bed while being forced drugs to give birth. I want to go to a hospital to give birth as a last choice and a means to deliver if something has gone wrong. I don't want any drugs interfering with my hormones that my body produced for my baby's first minutes.

I also have GERD so the heartburn that comes with pregnancy is going to suck hard.

Overall I am so excited to go through carrying a child in my body for 40 weeks. It is such a miracle and blessing to me that I would never take it for granted.

bethsmiles · November 2011

Are drugs really forced on you at a hospital?

BF's mom had C-sections for him and his siblings. It was necessary for his older brother and then for him and his sister her insurance said she had to do a C-section for it to be covered under their policy. That happened to my flute teacher too. She had natural births for her first 2 kids then had to have a C-section for one and for the one after that she was told by her insurance she had to have a C-section again.

SKP82 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:fc4923f3-f0f2-4b08-ae8f-be10fd906a44">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]Are drugs really forced on you at a hospital? BF's mom had C-sections for him and his siblings. It was necessary for his older brother and then for him and his sister her insurance said she had to do a C-section for it to be covered under their policy. That happened to my flute teacher too. She had natural births for her first 2 kids then had to have a C-section for one and for the one after that she was told by her insurance she had to have a C-section again.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

REALLY? I cannot believe an insurance company has the right to make that decision!

bethsmiles · November 2011

Thats what I thought. I'm sure there is some sort of reasoning behind it but I don't know what it is.

Elle1036 · November 2011

Ahh, thanks Steph and Desert. I didn't know that.

Peaseblossom55 · November 2011

When baby time comes I really hope to be have a natural birth no drugs and no c section. It feels odd to have something like that scheduled and its a major surgery too. Our bodies were meant to give birth women have been doing it for centuries w/out pain meds and epidurals, so it can't be too bad. Let nature and our bodies do what it was meant to do.

soooo tired off to bed now!

sapphirebaby926 · November 2011

I actually enjoyed being pregnant after I got past the morning sickness but I know a lot of people who hated being pregnant.

As far as the c-section goes I hate that I had to have one. I had a low-lying placenta and it would have been dnagerous for both me and Lil'Miss if I had dilated so we scheduled a c-section at 37 weeks. And Lil'Miss had serious breathing problems at birth. Like she could have died breathing problems. Scariest moment of my life

In the end I'm glad everything went well and we have a very healthy baby now but I wish I could have gone longer and had a regular birth.

I'm likely going to have to search for a doctor who will do a VBAC but it's not something I'm not too concerned about right this second because we're going to wait at least another year before TTC again. This small town is unfortunately very against VBAC's but I'm hoping I can talk my current OB/GYN into it when the time comes provided I don't have any other problems preventing it.

AudgiePodge · November 2011

I had an epidural when I was 7cm, but I went through the pushing epidural-less. It ran out. I didn't know and the nurses ddin't know until I yelped while being stitched up because I tore. The doctor said that I shouldn't be able to feel being stitched, but I did, so they check the epidural. It was out. I though what I was feeling was normal since it was my first. It wasn't bad though. Most of what I felt was a burning type feeling from the stretching of DD coming out. Having my vag sewn up hurt a hell of a lot worse. H and I decided, if we are to have another, we're going to have a home birth. The movie The Business of Being Born was part of a deciding factor for that choice. I seriously recommend that movie to anyone thinking of having or having anymore crotch spawn.

ETA: I super enjoyed being pregnant. I want to be pregnant a lot more than I want another kid right now.

ETA2: DD was born 5 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia. 3 days after giving birth was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was in the ICU for a week. My blood pressure was 217/118. The doctor was telling my ExH to "prepare for the worst." What should have been a wonderful time turned into something horrible and terrifying.

jorja86 · November 2011

The reason insurance companies and doctors refuse to do vaginal births after C-sections is because of an elevated risk for uterine rupture with a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section). This is because of the previous incision in the uterus being put under stress during contractions and pushing.

I think that pregnancy and birth are incredibly personal experiences that each woman (and family) need to make decisions about for themselves. I think the most important thing is making these educated decisions. Women need to understand that there are options other than epidurals and whatever your doctor tells you from there. I feel like the more educated women are, the more involved they can be, and the less they will feel they need to rely on a doctor to make decisions for them.

I agree that it's unfortunate that the standard in the US has become a continuously monitored, epidural, flat on the back birth. I think we could do with far less interventions. However, I think it's crazy to go too far in the other direction also. We've come a long way in maternal-child health, and there's no good reason to completely ignore those great advancements.

Sure, women have had babies on their own forever, but women and newborns also used to DIE all the time. Over all, I agree with the idea that women should be more in touch with their own bodies and trust them do to what needs to be done, but I don't think that means ignoring all modern medicine either.

Personally, I *think* I'd like to try to have a semi-natural birth in a hospital with either a doctor or a midwife. As a nurse, I'd be comfortable knowing that I could stand up for myself if I felt like there were interventions happening that I didn't want (or didn't feel necessary). That being said, the first time I felt myself or my baby was in danger, I'd be all for anything necessary. I think the key is having some idea when that is, not just counting on others to tell you.

ETA: Sorry that's a novel! I took a whole class on this subject in college, and I found it really interesting.

We also watched The Business of Being Born, and I highly recommend it as well.

bethsmiles · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:19fe3f3b-c76c-4c8a-ad98-6a75b36251a0">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]I had an epidural when I was 7cm, but I went through the pushing epidural-less. It ran out. I didn't know and the nurses ddin't know until I yelped while being stitched up because I tore. The doctor said that I shouldn't be able to feel being stitched, but I did, so they check the epidural. It was out. I though what I was feeling was normal since it was my first. It wasn't bad though. Most of what I felt was a burning type feeling from the stretching of DD coming out. Having my vag sewn up hurt a hell of a lot worse. H and I decided, if we are to have another, we're going to have a home birth. The movie The Business of Being Born was part of a deciding factor for that choice. I seriously recommend that movie to anyone thinking of having or having anymore crotch spawn. ETA: I super enjoyed being pregnant. I want to be pregnant a lot more than I want another kid right now.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

I've seen that movie. I thought it was super interesting! It really made me think. I still don't know what I'll choose when the time comes but it definitely made me aware/more open-minded about the various options available.

TheMutleys · November 2011

I still have morning sickness. It isn't as bad as it was earlier on, but it is still there. I only throw up every so often. Yay?

PPs have already covered what I wanted to say about c-sections. I would only have one if medically necessary. The risk of further complications from an unnecessary surgery are not worth it to me.

In terms of hospital vs. home birth, I think women should do what they feel is best. I do think that hospitals are generalized too much when it comes to 'pushing meds.' Our hospital was amazing. They didn't push meds or interventions. They did offer them, but clearly explained everything. We also came prepared and were our own advocates. I had a great relationship with my OB going into L&D, and I think that made a difference. We also had a private room with a jacuzzi tub. I was allowed to eat and drink what I wanted. I was allowed to go in the tub after my water broke. I was also able to roam around as I saw fit.

I looked at labor and delivery as something that I had control over but didn't at the same time. We planned to have a completely natural, drug-free birth. It didn't turn out that way, and I am completely comfortable with WHY we made the decisions we did.

I had steady contractions starting around 39 weeks. They ranged from 5 to 10 mins apart and in severity. They continued for almost 2 weeks before they ramped up. They started getting more serious on a Saturday (1 day shy of 41 weeks.) The contractions continued on Sunday but they still weren't regular enough or severe enough to be considered active labor. I finally got admitted on Monday at 2pm. Mr. Man was not born until Tuesday after 6pm. I calculate my labor as 28 hours long because that is how long I was IN the hospital. DH calculates it as being DAYS long.

For all of our preparations and training, my body had other plans. The contractions were not my problem when it came to pain. I could work through them with DH's help. Were they painful? Yes, but they were manageable. I ended up having an intense, burning pain in my hip joints that did not go away. It literally felt like someone had injected acid into my joints. It was the most horrific pain ever. The contractions would come and go, but this pain would remain. It was only after I threw up from this pain and almost passed out that I asked for an epidural. I knew that if I did not get relief from that pain that I would end up having a c-section because I was going to pass out. (This was also 23 hours into being at the hospital.)

My epidural didn't work. I was one of the small percentage where it slips out of place. The anesthesiologist was in surgery by the time everyone realized that it wasn't working, so there was nothing anyone could do. They tried injecting meds into my IV line but they did nothing. I went through the rest of my labor laying down in bed, unable to use any of the physical techniques we learned to get through the pain. It was horrific. I was NEVER forget that pain. My hips were searing nonstop. They were able to call in another anesthesiologist but he didn't get there for 4 hours. By that time, I was completely dilated. I ended up with a 2nd epidural so that I could sleep for a little bit before pushing (after being in labor for 27 hours.) I slept for an hour, then I woke up to push. Luckily, I only had to push for 20 mins.

I will NOT be getting an epidural this time. I would rather endure the pain and be able to move.

I could type a bunch more but I won't since I already wrote a novel. Haha.

SKP82 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:ebf2df58-af58-4d4a-b96f-26afc211fbfd">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]I could type a bunch more but I won't since I already wrote a novel. Haha.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

Please share! I, for one, am interested. I only have 2 close friends who have experienced childbirth. One has had epidurals and easy breezy labor with no pain. The other had an epidural with her first and a home water birth with her 2nd.

I think I would love to have a home water birth, but, as I'm not in that stage of my life yet, I would have to do more research to make sure it was the right decision for us.

Do you know why you were having such pain in your hips? Is that a normal part of the birthing process or just something that happens occasionally for some reason?

TheMutleys · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:4ff2e5cd-d6be-4de8-8549-458f3ece9ebd">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: Babies : Please share! I, for one, am interested. I only have 2 close friends who have experienced childbirth. One has had epidurals and easy breezy labor with no pain. The other had an epidural with her first and a home water birth with her 2nd.
I think I would love to have a home water birth, but, as I'm not in that stage of my life yet, I would have to do more research to make sure it was the right decision for us.

Do you know why you were having such pain in your hips? Is that a normal part of the birthing process or just something that happens occasionally for some reason?
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

Personally, I am a planner. <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/11/a0841d83-f049-41b9-8b14-3a062ffdb364.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'a0841d83-f049-41b9-8b14-3a062ffdb364', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/11/a0841d83-f049-41b9-8b14-3a062ffdb364.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

This leads me to want to be in the best situation for the worst scenario. This is why we chose to have a hospital birth. Our Bradley Methods instructor had a c-section, a VBAC in a hospital and finally, a home water birth. I loved that she was able to relate to all sorts of different situations, and thus wasn't judgmental. In fact, our classes with her helped in ways beyond our labor and delivery. Whenever your time comes, seriously look into the Bradley Method if you want to go natural.

The pain in my hips is NOT normal. My OB suspects that it has to do with my multi-directional instability. My hips (as well as other joints in my body) can dislocate. This does not normally cause me any pain. I just slip the joint back in and go about my day.

We are researching massage techniques to deal with the pain this go around. It may not happen this time. We won't know until we get to that point. I am also researching doulas who are experienced in physical pain relief.

I think that biggest thing about labor and delivery is being open to what happens. You can prepare and prepare and prepare. You can have a birth plan. At the end of the day, every birth is different. You need to be able to roll with what is happening.

In terms of home birth vs. hospital, I feel like this debate is like a BFing debate. Women can get so caught up in tearing women down who didn't make the same choices that they lose sight of what is important. It isn't a debate. It should be about patient advocacy and education. It should be about educating more women about their bodies at an earlier age. I honestly think it goes back to abstinence only education. There are some people who are shielded from information for whatever reason and thus, they go into situations blindly. They go along with medical personnel without asking any questions. For example, one intervention generally leads to another. Patients need to know to ask about what could happen next or what one intervention could lead to. Instead, there is blame placed on medical professionals for offering choices. A woman who is mad that she got an epidural because she was offered one should really be mad at herself for not declining it. A woman who doesn't want her water broken CAN say no. A woman who is told that they could induce labor might say yes because she is just done being pregnant and she is uncomfortable. She may have planned on a med-free birth but now that she is on pitocin, she wants an epidural... and then the epidural slows down her labor... and then the baby starts having heart rate issues... and then she has a c-section. That same patient could have asked to not be induced yet. That same patient could have signed a waiver saying that she was aware of what the doctor was advising but that she is choosing otherwise.
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dwest2201 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:e89fc947-193c-4cd8-8b55-ad3a0de912e7">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]Forget about her lady bits, does your friend know she'll end up with stretch marks, a belly pooch and possibly sagging boobs? People can SEE that sh*t. Plus they can sew the cooch back up good as new. I wouldn't want a C-section unless it was medically necessary. Too many risks to be an elective surgery.
Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]

I LOVE YOU, Paint!

Seriously, I gotta say having been through it, I'm totally with you on this! Luckily I got ONE stretch mark with my first and have tiny boobs that don't sag! I had morning, noon and night sickness and my labor and delivery was pretty horrible, I tore completely...you know that song "tonight is the night, when two become one"...well it was like 7am, but yeah. They sew you up good as new, and they feed you snacks and juice while they are sewing too! :P

ETA: I will update with more about my experience later.

Ollie08 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_babies-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba8c4931-df9f-4f73-af8c-6a7f6ef4441ePost:fc4923f3-f0f2-4b08-ae8f-be10fd906a44">Re: S/O: Babies</a>:
[QUOTE]Are drugs really forced on you at a hospital? BF's mom had C-sections for him and his siblings. It was necessary for his older brother and then for him and his sister her insurance said she had to do a C-section for it to be covered under their policy. That happened to my flute teacher too. She had natural births for her first 2 kids then had to have a C-section for one and for the one after that she was told by her insurance she had to have a C-section again.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

I had a similar issue, except mine was with my physician. I had to have a C-section with my first, she just wouldn't come out. She was too big to fit through my pelvis and after over 3 hours of pushing we got nowhere.

My OBGYN who delivered my first, assessed me and said they would not be willing to do a VBAC for me as I was not an ideal candidate. So I scheduled my second daughter's birth.

On the pregnancy note, I absolutely LOVED being pregnant. Both times. It was a fabulous experience. I only had morning sickness for a month or so with my little one, but other than that, my hormones for once were stable, I was happy and just had really good experiences.

SKP82 · November 2011

Mutley makes some excellent points, as usual.

wink0erin · November 2011

I both look forward to and fear being pregnant. My fears are mostly because I am an amputee and have back problems. I fear that I will be wheelchair bound after a few months of pregnancy because I either won't be able to put my leg on anymore or because the pain in my back will get so bad that I won't be able to walk. I've talked to my prosthetist and my physical therapist, and BOTH have said that the scenario I have imagined is very likely... which sure didn't make me feel any better =\ Although my prosthetist said I should be able to continue wearing my leg... I'd just need constant tune-ups and adjustments for size (due to weight gain).

Then I worry about labor... I would want to be able to move around, but I don't even know if I'd be walking at that point. I wonder if the leg will have to be on or off for pushing and how that would even work. I worry they'll force me into a C-section because of it. I'm not even that worried about the pain really, I'm more worried about the things I know nothing about, and don't know ANYONE to ask. I do know when the time comes I'll probably switch OBGYNs, the one I go to now is known for pushing C-sections on women.

jemmini6 · November 2011

I'm not really looking forward to being pregnant. I'm still absolutely fascinated with the theory of it, that you have sex and then in 9 months, another person grows in you, but the practice of it seems difficult and uncomfortable.

Both of my sisters said they relatively enjoyed their pregnancies. My oldest sister ended up getting a really severe rash in the last 2 weeks of her pregnancies that they couldn't treat until she delivered. She has blisters so bad on the bottoms of her feet that she couldn't even walk, so she made the decision to be induced a week early. Her labor was fairly quick and her delivery wasn't all that bad. She had IV meds for pain, but not an epidural.

My middle sister decided to have a home birth with a midwife (because they couldn't afford a hospital birth). Her pregnancy was pretty good, but of course, she didn't really have regular check-ups because they couldn't afford a doctor (and they PLANNED this pregnancy....). Midway through her labor, her midwife's heartrate monitor wasn't working, so they decided to go to the hospital anyways. She still gave birth w/o meds, and eventually qualified for freaking Medicaid to pay for it all, but whatever.

When I'm pregnant, I fully plan on having an epidural. My oldest sister tries to talk me out of it, and calls me a wimp, etc, but I don't care what she did...I want an epidural, so it's really none of her business. My reasoning is...would I survive without Vicodin after having wisdom teeth out? Of course, but why would I choose to be in pain if I don't have to be? Would FI have survived without morphine or the Propophol when they popped his shoulder back into place last week? Of course, but why go through that if you don't have to? I think it's great that people choose to go med-free, really, I do. But I don't think it's wrong for me to choose otherwise. I have a decent pain tolerance, and I know I'm capable of giving birth w/o it (women since the beginning of humanity have been), but I want to be able to 'enjoy' it as much as I can and be happy when my child is born instead of reeling from the pain of it.

csousa1 · November 2011

I'm late to this, but I want to play too!

I want to enjoy pregnancy. I have always had a feeling that I would enjoy it, for the most part. I am NOT looking forward to that morning sickness business, and puking is just never good IMO. I think being pregnant is enough of a reminder that I'm pregnant, without spewing chunks daily for nine months (Elle I agree, that lady does sound a little nutty). I'm hoping that there is minimal morning sickness and that the rest is, if not enjoyable, at least reasonably tolerable. I hope that I would feel like Mutley though, that even if it isn't, it's still well worth the outcome.

Just an FYI for those planning on not giving birth in hospitals - you may not have much of a choice once things get underway. I think home birth is pretty cool, personally, and I am all for it if it works out. My mom wanted to have me at home, with a midwife. When the midwife told her that I may have a heart murmur and that I was breech, my mom decided that she would take her advice and head to the hospital to be safe. They offered a C-section since I was upside down, but didn't force it on her and she was able to have me vaginally. So try to keep an open mind that you may have to reconsider at the end if there are complications - it can't hurt to have a good relationship with the labor & delivery unit of a hospital you are comfortable with in the event of an emergency.

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