Hi all!
My name is Sarah and my wonderful BF is Tim. We will be together for 5 years in May. We have two wonderful children 3 1/2 and 2 years old. We have been through a tough road and are finally on track. When I was just 18 we found out we were expecting our 1st child. Tim was a sophomore in college. Unable to make enough money to support ourselves we moved in with his parents when our daughter was 3 months old. I really wanted marraige and we had talked about it before DD was in the picture. We even looked at rings. Well we couldn't afford a wedding and BF wanted to do it right. It was also important for him to prove to others that he didn't marry me because he had to. He wanted to prove to my family and others that he loved me. When our daughter was 9 months old we were expecting our second. Long story short marriage has never been the right time.
Finally last May BF graduated college, has a good job, we are out on our own, and we have a wonderful relationship. We have gone through a lot and learned so much about each other. Lately marraige has been on our mind again. Throughout the whole relationship I had questioned him as to when or if he ever wanted it. We have looked at rings a couple more times and I have gone by myself to make wishlists for rings and told him...Never resulted in anything. I've always pushed it and finally realized I don't want to push this. I want him to do it only if he wants to. He always said he wanted it and always said soon...Well that's hard to take when he has told me soon since our 2 year anniversary.
Recently he brought it up. He said he finally feels ready and like he is in a good spot. He feels proud of himself like he is able to support his family. He is really big on making it a surprise and doesn't want to talk about any details. He tells me it's all planned and to wait until it warms up. Other than that he won't give any other hints of when or how the proposal will go.(which I admire<3)
Of course I decide to try one last time with the ring thing so he has an idea of what I like. He agreed to go today after his Dad's birthday lunch. I told him I only wanted to go if he wanted to. He said he did....so today comes and lo and behold time runs short. Of course. I didn't say anything and when we got in the car he asked if it was ok to make a rain check for our ring date. He said he was sorry we ran out of time. I told him it was fine and that if he didn't want to look that was ok. I felt really stupid and I felt like it made me look desperate. He said he really did want to look and that he would make a special day of it for next Sunday. He wants to arrange for a babysitter and hit up every ring place.
I just feel soooo crushed. He sounds sincere and he doesn't say things that he doesn't intend to do. I just felt so stupid for getting excited I guess. I don't know what to think. I feel like things will never happen. I'm done talking to him about it.
Any thoughts...This is my intro/ vent. Thanks for anyone who made it this far in my post
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~Sarah~