Wedding Dress Question

NurseyK

(Hi, I'm a lurker. BF and I are getting married this November.)

In January I found a Mori Lee by Madeleine Gardner dress on ebay for $15.50 plus shipping... and bid on it, as a "haha this would be cool if I won my wedding dress for less than the cost of shipping," with no intentions of actually winning/wearing it. The total came to thirty-two BUCKS. Then whattaya know, about a week later I found an email saying I had one it. I paid up the $32 and when it arrived it turned out to be the most beautiful dress. No joke. The dilema here is that it's too formal for our wedding. What should I do with it?

Wrkn925

I voted to sell.

But I think Craigslist or a local consignment shop would be easier.

What exactly would you tailor it to? How do you tailor out formality?

Or you could donate it.  It may be worth more that way.

I dunno.  Good deal, congrats.  At least it's only a $32 loss.

marleylikeair

You should LOVE your wedding dress, IMO. If you don't love this dress already, I wouldn't mess with it. Shop around and see what else is out there, then re-sell it if you see anything you like more.

AudgiePodge

Wear while cleaning your house.  You can pretend you're the maid that got into the missus' formal wear and "just wanted to try it on."

I hope she doesn't come home and catches you wearing it!

leia1979

You could hang on to it for now and see if there are other dresses you like better. It could get very expensive to change the existing dress. But for the most part, I'd say sell or donate it.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wedding-dress-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be78759e-e769-435c-ba08-7db633ab2e27Post:96d9bf14-d3b3-43fd-b2fb-662b34811cbd">Re: Wedding Dress Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Wear while cleaning your house.  You can pretend you're the maid that got into the missus' formal wear and "just wanted to try it on." I hope she doesn't come home and catches you wearing it!
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

You're so much more creative than me.

bourgehm

If it's the most beautiful dress, then keep it like it is.  Personally, I am not matching my dress to the venue. I'm wearing a pretty formal dress, and the wedding isn't. But it's the one I love, so who cares.  If you dont' think it matches the venue, then I'd look around some more. Alterations are extremely spendy. With just taking in the side, you will have already spent way more than the dress cost you.

SeaTea02

Too formal? There is no such thing ;-) If you like it wear it. 

NurseyK

LOL... wear it while pretending to be the maid.... love it.

I heard of this organization.... "Brides Against Breast Cancer," I'm going to look into that.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wedding-dress-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be78759e-e769-435c-ba08-7db633ab2e27Post:23a72709-9f7a-4e28-81a8-41122ed79785">Re: Wedding Dress Question</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL... wear it while pretending to be the maid.... love it. I heard of this organization.... "Brides Against Breast Cancer," I'm going to look into that.
Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]

Excuse me for being the person that does the right things for the wrong reasons, but. *cough*tax deduction*cough*

Signed,
The person who paid in (a lot) this year

NurseyK

Tax benefit *cough cough* sounds appealing... too.

Wrkn925

May I ask why you're calling him your BF?  If you're getting engaged to be married, he's your FI, no?

jeanacorina

If there's one person who is allowed to be overdressed at a wedding, it's the bride.

If you LOVE it and it's perfect for you, then keep it and rock that fancy dress.

If you don't love it, then sell or donate it. It's $32... not a big loss or anything.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wedding-dress-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be78759e-e769-435c-ba08-7db633ab2e27Post:4125e63c-2c58-4730-b65b-2886c6b650a7">Re: Wedding Dress Question</a>:
[QUOTE]If there's one person who is allowed to be overdressed at a wedding, it's the bride. If you LOVE it and it's perfect for you, then keep it and rock that fancy dress. If you don't love it, then sell or donate it. It's $32... not a big loss or anything.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

Completely agree. If you love the dress and WANT to wear it, go for it! The bride is allowed to be fancy. :)

If it's just not quite right, I think donating it is a great idea.

NurseyK

Wrkn925...
See post under "moving in" thread by tmac k. I'm too lazy to retype.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wedding-dress-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be78759e-e769-435c-ba08-7db633ab2e27Post:00806e06-9f0c-469d-868a-e4ec24ae3488">Re: Wedding Dress Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Wrkn925... See post under "moving in" thread by tmac k. I'm too lazy to retype.
Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]

But I'm not too lazy to C&P:


[QUOTE]BF and I kinda in the same boat! I made it clear to him from the beginning that I wouldn't move in unless we were planning both our wedding and our future. We've had a lot of talks about the financials (pre and post wedding), move dates, when we want to get married, pre-marital counseling and such lately. He knows that I have to be out of my apartment by April 17th, and we're planning a trip together March 16 - 21. We've gone on a lot of trips together, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up... but I can't help but squeal a little thinking it might happen on our trip in March. Good luck to us both, right?!
Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]

jeanacorina

OH, So you're not engaged and you bought a $32 dress on ebay.

Well, my advice still stands, but jeez wait for him to actually ASK you to marry him before you go doing anymore shopping.

NurseyK

True story. The dress is worth a lot more than 32 bones... but I don't need it at this moment. I'm sure we'll be engaged before I move in... but I'm done thinking about it until then.

Wrkn925

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wedding-dress-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:be78759e-e769-435c-ba08-7db633ab2e27Post:681896e0-5fb3-4162-b827-7519b5120ce6">Re: Wedding Dress Question</a>:
[QUOTE]True story. The dress is worth a lot more than 32 bones... but I don't need it at this moment. I'm sure we'll be engaged before I move in... but I'm done thinking about it until then.
Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]

Ok, then.  But unless the two of you consdier yourselves engaged, you should probably stop planning and purchasing.

And, ring=/=engagement, so you can be engaged as long as you both agree.

NurseyK

I agree that ring does not equal engagement.  Talking about when/where/counseling etc is a great start to our planning.... but we haven't set a specific date (just sometime in November or early spring 2012), or told people that we are engaged. So IMO, we aren't engaged. Tell ya the truth, it's my day off, and I'm bored and sick of working on this paper. NEY is amusing.

AudgiePodge

I'm totally going to purchase a saddle for the horse I might get one day. 

Or I think I might get a life vest for that yacht I've been lusting after.

I think I can get a life vest for under $50.

marleylikeair

OP, it's great that you and your BF are moving toward an engagement. Yay! But if I'd realized you two aren't engaged yet, I'd have pointed you in the direction of our famous "Please Read Before Posting" thread, just in case you haven't seen it.

Since you're not engaged yet, I say, just put that thing in the closet and don't worry about it yet. You never know--things might change. You and BF might end up pushing back the date. You might fall in love with a new dress that comes out. You might decide on a different venue.

Just my two cents. Also...don't forget to ask your landlord if you can tag on an extra month or two just in case he doesn't propose by the time your lease is up. It sounds like he might, but if you expect it and plan for it without knowing, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment--and a mad scramble to figure out your living arrangement! If I were in your situation, I'd figure I was jinxing myself if I didn't have a backup plan in place with my landlord!

futuremrstje

Ooooh I totally bought a life jacket for the yahct I don't have yet! While I'm waiting for the yacht, I use it when I go canoing at the lake or when I do the whole dragon boat thing. And you can totally get life jackets at Wal Mart for waaaay less than $50. I think I paid less than 20$ for mine..

As for the OP's question, if you love the dress, who cares if it's more formal than your wedding venue? I've been to a wedding in a tent in the bride's farm yard with a bull mooing right next to the ceremony location. A lot of people wore jeans and nice shirts (the bride's father included, total cowboy look going on) and her dress was long, strapless, lots of beading and a train. (I was like 14 at the time and I can't remember how long the train was, but it was pretty long). The dress was DEFINITELY more formal than the venue. But no one cared. It's YOUR day (well yours and your fiance's) so who cares what you wear? If you love the dress, wear it. It's a STEAL to find a dress you love for $32. If you don't love it, donate it or sell it. If you want to donate it, another thing you could look into besides "brides against cancer" would be a charity that takes old wedding dresses and turns them in to burial gowns for stillborn babies or babies who died shorlty after birth....

[Deleted User]

As PP said, if you love the dress, keep it. 

My family gave me a wedding dress that my cousin's ex-fiance bought before she went nuts and bounced the country.  Granted, I think they were hoping that it would push me to get married sooner, but I accepted the dress.  Free wedding dress that hardly needs to be taken in?  SCORE!!  It's something that I can take-in myself, and I probably will.  I can also add/take away from it as I wish. 

If you need to dress the dress (hehe) down, you totally can! 

Since you aren't engaged yet, just let it sit in your closet and fester until it's safe for you to start planning your wedding.  When I was given that dress, it did make me a little wedding crazy at first, so be careful.  Those things have powers! 

joiner521

to formal...that is a first.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wedding-dress-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:be78759e-e769-435c-ba08-7db633ab2e27Post:23917d4f-678b-4e05-9ad8-8f0c8e7c5a53">Re: Wedding Dress Question</a>:
[QUOTE]also, how do you know it is too formal if you aren't engaged?  What if you end up choosing a fancy venue?
Posted by sunbird627[/QUOTE]

Good call, Sunbird!

Not only has OP bought a dress without being engaged, she apparently also already knows her venue and/or how formal her wedding will be.

Fabulous. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />