Engagement/wedding bands

[Deleted User]

Hello everyone! I do not post often but thought I would come to you for this subject matter. I have been thinking a lot lately about what kind of ring/band I would want from bf when the time comes. With my XH, I had a three ring set that was white gold and full of small diamonds. I loved it. But now that we have gotten divorced(although my profile doesnt say so because I dont know how to change it), I am thinking I would want something completely different. I am honestly thinking that I would just want a very nice,BLINGY (haha), band. The question is though, if I just want a band to wear rather than a whoel set, how do I get engaged? Does he buy my an engagement ring that I wouldnt want to wear? Please help me with this matter seeing as how I have no freaking idea.

TIA!!!!

[Deleted User]

Since I mentioned it above...can someone please help me reset my settings. I want to completely start over brand new! Thank you!

bethsmiles

You don't have to have a ring to be engaged.

loves2shop4shoes

If you're really hellbent on having a ring at the proposal, have him propose with a ring pop or something.

NurseyK

He doesn't have to propose with a ring. Ponies are a nice alternative.

ADTonk

Unless the two of you agree to go ring shopping or he asks you for suggestions, you don't really get to pick.  I think many men would find it a bit pushy if you told him what kind of ring you wanted.

MrsCatfish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engagementwedding-bands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c41b9326-a38e-4c12-8bc2-ce9a6e8b9855Post:c2aa4231-11ee-41e2-9c47-9627cf1f4cf2">Re: Engagement/wedding bands</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless the two of you agree to go ring shopping or he asks you for suggestions, you don't really get to pick.  <strong>I think many men would find it a bit pushy if you told him what kind of ring you wanted.</strong>
Posted by ADTonk[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe, but I think more might be grateful to have some guidance.  As we're starting to talk seriously about an engagement, BF recently asked me what I wanted.  I think his exact question was "Will you just go to Blue Nile and build what you want and e-mail it to me?"  I probably would have said something even if he hadn't asked, though, because he's the type to try to go all out when he doesn't need to, and I feel like, if I'm wearing it every day, I should let him know how I feel about it.</div><div>
</div><div>A lady at church told me Sunday that when she and her husband got married, she told him that all she wanted was a wide yellow gold band...he bought her the traditional, white gold, 3-diamond set that was popular at the time, and she hated it.  But, since she couldn't bear to tell him she hated it, she wore it, until their first Christmas, when he gave her a wide gold band.  They've been married almost 50 years, and that's all she's worn since.  He had the diamonds from the original ring made into a bracelet.</div>

sapphirebaby926

You don't need a ring to get engaged but you could wear the band as your e-ring and if you wanted a wedding band to go with it you could just get a simple non-blingy band to wear with it.

Sparrow87

I have to go with PP's you don't need a ring to be engaged.  Very few of the women in my family have gotten engagement rings and my mother didn't get one until my parents 25th wedding anniversary. 

That being said I like the double band idea vs. a traditional ring set. 

desertsun

I would just use the band as the e-ring.

No need to get an additional band or ring as a wedding ring. Just take your band off before your wedding ceremony and have someone bring it to the best man for your husband to put on your finger during the ceremony.

Nothing wrong with having just one band to serve as e-ring AND wedding band if that's your preference!

And to change your profile info, you can click on your name.

Or, you can use a different email address and create a whole new account.

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engagementwedding-bands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c41b9326-a38e-4c12-8bc2-ce9a6e8b9855Post:f30f8d42-2ddf-4848-bc09-71d145e0cd41">Re: Engagement/wedding bands</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't need a ring to get engaged but you could wear the band as your e-ring and if you wanted a wedding band to go with it you could just get a simple non-blingy band to wear with it.
Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]
I like this idea. <div>
</div><div>Also, I don't think it is pushy to tell you BF what you want in a ring. You have to wear it for the rest of your life. I think it'd be wrong to demand a huge stone or that he absolutely spend a specific amount. But to say, hey I would love to have a diamond band as my e-ring isn't wrong. I told FI that I did NOT want a diamond center stone and that I loved sapphires. And that I wanted a lower setting. He seemed to appreciate the guidance, and I got a ring I love instead of being upset that he didn't "get" my style. Communication is key, even over stuff that is supposed to be a big ol' surprise, which for the record I think is an antiquated notion anyway. </div>

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engagementwedding-bands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c41b9326-a38e-4c12-8bc2-ce9a6e8b9855Post:c2aa4231-11ee-41e2-9c47-9627cf1f4cf2">Re: Engagement/wedding bands</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless the two of you agree to go ring shopping or he asks you for suggestions, you don't really get to pick.  I think many men would find it a bit pushy if you told him what kind of ring you wanted.
Posted by ADTonk[/QUOTE]

I don't agree with this at all. You can give guidance on what you would like without being pushy.

desertsun

I think the best thing is to just ask your BF if he prefers to do things on his own or if he wants some guidance from you or if he wants you to come shopping with him. Don't assume anything. Just have a conversation to figure out what you're BOTH most comfortable with.

[Deleted User]

Thank you for all of the responses. I was also thinking that I didnt need a ring to be engaged. I dont know if he would come to me and ask me for what I want or if he would kind of pay attention to what I mention that I like. I guess time will tell!