Monster In Law

StinaPie14

I'm watching Monster In Law. Hilarious movie!

Anybody have any good MIL, FMIL, or BF's mom stories? Or anything else?

I don't have any...My BF's mom is great! But I'd love to hear your stories!

zipis1

Not mine (BF's mom is wonderful), but my friend's (I'll call her Mary) MIL is a peach. This will be long, I warn you.

They got along great until they got engaged. They hung out together, laughed together, and all that good stuff. A few weeks after she got engaged to her now-husband, her MIL took her aside in another room and said, "I just have to confess. I've hated you for months."

Floored, Mary asked why, and her MIL said that a few months before while they were all in the car Mary playfully told her fiance to shut-up because he was being a snot. Her MIL said, "A woman should never talk to a man like that!"

Then throughout their engagement the MIL kept complaining that Mary wouldn't invite her to any bridal shows, which was a lie. Mary had invited her to plenty but the MIL declined due to money. So my friend then invited her to one that was free, and the MIL said that she couldn't afford the gas (Mary said they'd drive), and then that her husband wouldn't let her. And so she continued to complain to people that Mary wasn't inviting her.

At one point her MIL ripped Mary's wedding dress. They were at a fitting and the MIL was arguing with her while fussing with the dress (despite both Mary and the seamstress asking her to stop playing with it), and it ripped. It was luckily fixable but Mary had to go back into the dressing room for about five minutes to cool off.

After the wedding the MIL complained that she couldn't stay in the hotel with them or come with them on the honeymoon (creeeepy).

The best part is when they came back from the honeymoon. Mary and her husband lived together and had sex before marriage. We strongly suspect her MIL thought her son was still a virgin before then (and he was not. Not by a long shot). When they got back from the honeymoon and were settling back into post-wedding normalcy, her MIL calls up and says, "I just thought I should let you know that because of the sinful way you went about things, I will not honor your marriage. If you visit I expect you to stay in separate rooms." I think Mary just handed the phone to her husband at that point and walked away.

The kicker there is that the MIL had her son, Mary's husband, out of wedlock, so there was a whole lotta pot-meet-kettle going on there.

Pre-marriage Mary, her husband, and their respective families had agreed on a rotating schedule in regard to where they would all have holiday dinners. They all live within five minutes of each other so it seemed fair. The first dinner was held at her MIL's house and went smoothly. However, when the next holiday, Thanksgiving, rolled around dinner was supposed to be at Mary's mom's house. Mary's MIL threw a fit, saying, "Dinner is ALWAYS held here! In OUR home!" Mary reminded her that this was the agreed upon arrangement and if MIL didn't like it her presence would be missed.

The day before Thanksgiving, MIL finally called back and asked in a huff what she should bring. Then she did the same thing at Christmas, when dinner was to he held at Mary's house, but this time her MIL was even MORE insistent and pissy. Mary once again told her she would be missed, and this time the MIL actually didn't show up. Easter was back at the MIL's house so that was fine, but that means Thanksgiving may hold more fun times.

For her sake I hope they move far, far away before they start TTC. With her MIL being this bad now, I don't think I want to see the effect grandchildren will have.

[Deleted User]

My FI's mom passed away before we even met and I haven't met his step-mother yet (I've talked to her on the phone and we seem to get along just fine on the phone, so I don't foresee any problems, there). 

However, I did have some issues with the mom of the guy I seriously dated in college. She & I got along great at first.  We went shopping together and she always introduced me as her future daughter-in-law, no matter how many times I protested (her son and I were not engaged).  When I went back to school (in other state), things got worse.  

The son & I were poor students and this was before cell phones, so we talked on the phone once a week and wrote letters during the week.  Since he still lived at home, she felt it was her place to answer the phone when I called cause she just had to talk to me before he did.  Then I found out she was reading my letters before he had a chance to even read them.  She picked up the mail while he was at work or school...and he wondered why I started writing to him like a nun.  Told him to get mom to stop reading the mail and I'd write a better letter.  Needless to say, I never stopped writing like a nun.

The final straw was basically what did us in.  It was my final semester in college, neither of us was ready to get married at that point (or even to live together), hadn't even discussed it yet.  Well, they had a tri-level house (ground-level was kitchen and living room, upstairs small flight of stairs 2 bedrooms and bathrooms and downstairs one flight was laundry room, 2 bedroom and 1 bath)...right before I graduated, she had plans drawn up to convert the downstairs into an apartment for us (of course, without our knowledge or approval).  It freaked him out so much that he broke up with me the week after I graduated.

StinaPie14

Zipis--Glad you and BF's mom get along! I'm worried that something like what happened to your friend with happen with me and BF's mom...but she gets along well with his SILs, and she's know me a lot longer, so hopefully I wouldn't have an issue like your friend! Her MIL sounds like a peach. This:After the wedding the MIL complained that she couldn't stay in the hotel with them or come with them on the honeymoon (creeeepy). 

sounds like something right out of the movie! That is suuuuuuper creepy!

Angie--Glad that you are getting along with FI's step-mother! Your ex's mom sounds very interesting... At least she liked you! 

zipis1

Truth be told I kinda worry that the same will happen, too. They really did get along great (with the exception of after that car ride, apparently). But after engagement the lady went nutso.

BF is the oldest child and the only son, and his sister is single, so I don't have any reference point to how his mom will behave in regard to "losing" her babies. I THINK she'll be okay though. So far she'll tell other people to stop asking us when we'll get engaged if they start up, because she says she remembers how annoying that question was before she got married to BF's dad. So that right there earns her cool points :P

deburnin

BF's mom isn't a nightmare, but we don't mesh well. In all honesty she tends to drive me up a wall. I'm jealous of people who have good relationships with the significant other's mom. I would never go shopping or to the movies with her, that would just make for massive awkwardness. We just have very different outlooks on life, work ethics, and well... everything. My parents are very hands off it's your life you have to live with your decisions, whereas BF's mom still treats him like he's five.

GreenPepperBurger

BF's parents and I have different political views (and neither of us can seem to keep our mouths shut sometimes), but that's the only glitch. I love his family and they love me. I can hang out with them without BF (and it's true, I've gone to dinners there without him and have gone out with his mom, sister and aunt). I hope our relationship stays this way.

catemeg

BF's Dad is an absolute gem.  He's not always the most cultured or socially adept person (most comfortable in a dive bar than anywhere else) but we love him to pieces and he's really supportive and caring towards both BF and me.  BF's Mom is not a touchy-feely person, and they've never been particularly close, but I get along with her just fine.  I don't see her as causing any problems simply because she's not a big enough part of his life.  We both make a lot of effort to split holidays equally and include each other's families as much as possible in our plans, and he's seen them more since he started dating me than he did before, so I don't see that being a big deal.

The biggest issue comes from the fact that I have a much closer relationship with my parents, where I talk to them nearly every day and they'll pay for both me and my BF to fly home for holidays.  They want to take us both on vacation with them, and will buy BF lots of gifts for birthdays and holidays.  BF's not used to that close of a relationship, absolutely loves my parents, but I think still feels a little weird accepting gifts and letting them pay for us to fly up for holidays and go on vacation with them.  I appreciate that he'd rather pay, and they do also, because it means he's not taking them for granted (and neither do I!).  Anyway, I think that's where our differences in family are most apparent, but because my parents are so easy-going, I don't see it being a big problem.  Even when they pay for us to go up to stay with them for holidays, they'll loan us their car to go visit BF's family for a few days.  And they're happy to share us with BF's family for holidays, either inviting them all to join us at my parents' home, or all coming to visit us.  So yeah, overall, not a big deal.

StinaPie14

It's great to hear that so many people get along so well with their significant other's family!!!

loopy82

I have lucked out. My IL's are great. We get along well and they were very helpful and supportive throughout the engagement and wedding day.

TopazAngel

My MIL is awesome. I really think if she had any tendency to be overcontrolling or easily offended my DBF would have drilled it out of her--he was a terror! He still messes with her head, he's incorrigible. He's been playing pranks on her for so long she didn't believe us when we told her I'm pregnant. She called back 20 min. later to apologize to me, saying, "You don't know the jokes he's been playing on me all these years!" And I said, yes, I do, he still tells the stories!

Now she's out of town and I'm about to pop with this kid, and he's telling her tall tales that we've gone to the hospital and she's missing everything. She called and I ratted him out. What a snot, huh? lol

Jessjoy727

I get along with my bf's mom really well, so much better than my last relationship with my ex fiance! The only problem I could see happening with my bf's mom is that when we talked about having alcohol at our wedding and she wasn't too thrilled about that but she always says she loves me and is very excited to start planning a wedding once we get engaged. I absoulutely love her and the family

However, my ex fiances mom kinda did something similar to Zipis1 situation. To give some background, her husband had cheated on her with multiple women around town. She found out when my ex was about 13 ( he is now 30 )  and instead of getting a divorce, they stayed married and she stayed bitter and has been vengeful ever since. They are still married and to this day still talk about divorce but for some reason it has never happened. She never told ANYONE not even her closest friends when it happened and kept it a secret.  She eventually told some friends but not very many. I don't know why..I can see now how unhealthy that is for someone. Obviously her kids found out and she told them to never tell anyone, so they didn't...Till I came along and happened to find out from a bitter daughter in law of hers. We got along great until she found out we were talking about marriage. She sat me down (with my ex fiance there as well)  and told me everything about me that she didn't like and how I should fix it. My ex and I eventually got engaged and when we called in our excitement the only thing she could say was "Oh" and wasn't excited at all. While starting to plan the wedding she was critising my parents for not having the budget she wanted so she sent an email to my dad telling him how much he should pay and that she would split it with him. She wanted a very high end wedding to accomodate her high end friends whom we had never met. Even when she went with me to pick out dresses, she did not like the one I had chosen and wanted me to get a different one. Fortunately for me, it didn't work out with him and it mainly ended because he listened to everything his mom said and she wasn't about to let her baby boy go yet.She just couldn't let go of him and hated the idea of him getting married and having another woman in his life.

There are seriously so many other things I could say that happened but it fortunately is all water under the bridge and I am ecstatic to be where I am at now. How she treated me has made me so thankful to have such an awesome family to be a part of now. Even though she gave me hell and she was a nightmare to deal with, it just makes me so much more appreciative to what I have now!

Penny66

My BF's family does not accept me because I am a different ethnicity and religion than him. This upsets me because my family is so loving and welcoming to BF. My Grandmother literally pulls him down to give him a kiss when she see's him (and this is adorable because he is 6'3" and G-she is 4'8".) My family always buys him Christmas and birthday presents, My Aunt's call him on his Birthday to wish him a Happy Birthday. It makes me so happy that my family is so welcoming and loving to him, because I wouldn't want him to have to go through what I go through.

 Last year I tore a muscle in my foot, it was so bad that I had to use crutches. We went to a graduation party for BF's cousin at  the family's lodge, there is a lot of gravel there so it was very difficult for me to get around with the crutches. This lodge was very old and didn't have plumbing so they had an outhouse, I normally would not have a problem with this but hobbling down the hill on crutches then actually using the outhouse was a chore for me. We were sitting around and I say to my boyfriend "I have to pee and I don't want to use that frickin outhouse" BF's Aunt over hears this and starts screaming at me "What's wrong with the outhouse? Do you need marble floor under your feet and chandlers to make you happy? Don't be such a wimp go use the outhouse, and I don't want to hear any bitching!" She went on at this for a few minutes making a big scene, when she finally stopped I said to her "I am on crutches it is difficult to use a regular restroom let alone hobble down a gravel hill, go up 4 soaking wet steps, and then use the restroom." She said "suck it up" and walked away. This upset me so much that I had to hobble to my car and call my mom in tears to help me calm down.

mellimel19

I am fortunate in that I love BF's family. His mom is the sweetest, we get along great, and have gone out to dinner together just the two of us. She knows that we plan to get married at some point, and seems really happy for us. Actually, his whole family has been so great to me. His grandmother always introduces me as her granddaughter, and his father refers to me as his future daughter-in-law So I don't anticipate any problems, but people always say that weddings bring out the worst in some people.

I definitely come from a more reserved family. I know at first my mother wasn't too pleased with BF, simply because he had a blue collar job. She even got in a jab below the belt by telling me that my deceased father would be very disappointed that I had not chosen anyone "better." That sent me bawling, because I was very close with my father, and I just felt that that was such a low blow thing to say. Not to mention that my father was a truck driver, so it would be kind of hypocritical to look down on my bf for what he does for a living. I also pointed out to her that she had always raised us to believe that everyone can't be a doctor or a lawyer, everyone, no matter their job, plays a role and contributes to society. So I had to school her on what she had taught us growing up Thankfully, she's gotten to know BF, has seen him work his way up the ladder at his job and I believe has grown to like him. And I know my sister and brother in law are happy with whomever makes me happy.