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Disagreement about when to move

Re: Disagreement about when to move

  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL
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    edited December 2011
    I honestly think that if you are able to find a job that you can commute to daily (say within an hour or so of where you live) then it would be beneficial for you to wait and move later, especially because your current housing is paid off. You really don't want to over extend yourself just because of the excitement of graduation and a new career.

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  • edited December 2011
    It sounds like you and I were in similar situations. I'm in my early 20's as well and BF and I have been dating a little over a year and a half but we've been living together almost as long (started dating last February and starting living together in May). We just recently moved to a big city half way across the country, because he got a great job/promotion. This caused some disagreements, but we worked it out although it took some sacrifices on both our parts. My suggestion would be that you need to sit down with you BF and tell him your concerns. It might not get worked out after the first conversation, but I think it is important for you to listen to his concerns and why he wants to do things the way he's thinking. But then you also should explain why you think it would be more beneficial to do things the way your thinking. Anyways that is just my suggestion but I hope everything works out for you two!!
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  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move:
    I think you should work on finding a job first, then move.  Expenses in the real world add up quickly, and you may find yourself in over your head quickly, especially since you don't know what kind of salary you are going to be making.   P.S.  A 45 minute commute really isn't a big deal.  People do that everyday, and more.  
    Posted by yaga13
    Yeah, ditto yaga on that one. I commute an hour each way, and FI's commute takes anywhere between 1-1/2 hours depending on the time of day he has to work (rush hour traffic etc). 45 minutes is nada. Heck, it takes us 45 minutes to get to the closest mall.

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  • edited December 2011
    hey!  noticed you're an Okie, and mentioned moving to a "big city"...  there's only 3 or 4 of them in the state, so if it's The City, feel free to PM me to chat about moving, buying homes, etc.  we recently did all of this... I grad'd a few years ago, DH this year, and bought a house this year.

    and I wouldn't spend all your savings on a downpayment.  just a word of advice...  you're going to need the savings.  :)
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move:
    hey!  noticed you're an Okie, and mentioned moving to a "big city"...  there's only 3 or 4 of them in the state, so if it's The City, feel free to PM me to chat about moving, buying homes, etc.  we recently did all of this... I grad'd a few years ago, DH this year, and bought a house this year. and I wouldn't spend all your savings on a downpayment.  just a word of advice...  you're going to need the savings.  :)
    Posted by CocoBellaF
    Yeah it would be OKC.  That's where all of my family lives.  Right now I'm out in western Oklahoma.  Commuting to El Reno/Yukon?OKC wouldn't be too bad of a commute, but I feel like people in OK don't really even consider commuting that far.  There's lots of jobs that BF could find in that area.
  • edited December 2011
    you mean, from a small town in western OKC to El Reno/Yukon/OKC?  I know quite a few people that commute 100 miles or more everyday.  one way.  or they'll commute from the city to Tulsa down the turnpike.  I work on a gov't base, so we have people that come as far as the arbuckles to commute every day.  a lot of them work 4 days a week for 10 hours.  or they'll commute an hour from Edmond/Guthrie, etc.
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee
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    edited December 2011
    Don't move for a job before you have a job. When I started my job, I lived a 45 minute long each way commute from home. After I had money saved up from a couple of months of working, we moved fifteen minutes from my work. Moving just because you think you'll get a job is a sh*t idea. See what the job situation is after you graduate and move forward from there instead of preplanning for a job you don't have yet.

  • edited December 2011
    P.S.  are you talking about commuting from Weatherford to the city?   what degree will you graduate with?
  • edited December 2011
    mmm.  you should be able to find something then.  if you're open to it, try usajobs.gov.  it's a little tight right now, but they are finally starting to loosen up on hiring people.  good luck!
  • Beads921Beads921
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    edited December 2011
    This isn't an 'either-or' situation. You might need to compromise (both of you). I wouldn't move in hopes of finding a better job. Find a better job, then move. And that doesn't have to be immediate. If you stay where you are right now for even a year after you start work, you'll have that money your BF so desperately wants saved up to use for a new place (I'm assuming he'd be working that year too).

    Have you considered that your BF might not want to move to that city that you want to move to? I would hope you've honestly talked about this, but you don't mention it specifically.
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  • wink0erinwink0erin
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    edited December 2011
    1) Don't move unless you've found a job.

    2) Accounting/finance is a field where you can find a TON of different kinds of jobs. You don't have to work for a big 4 CPA firm to have a successful career (or to start a successful career). Are you going to try for the CPA exam? 

    3) The big thing here is COMPROMISE. You both might have to bend a little on your wishes. May is several months away so you have time to come up with a plan.


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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move:
    This isn't an 'either-or' situation. You might need to compromise (both of you). I wouldn't move in hopes of finding a better job. Find a better job, then move. And that doesn't have to be immediate. If you stay where you are right now for even a year after you start work, you'll have that money your BF so desperately wants saved up to use for a new place (I'm assuming he'd be working that year too). Have you considered that your BF might not want to move to that city that you want to move to? I would hope you've honestly talked about this, but you don't mention it specifically.
    Posted by Beads921
    We have talked about moving there and both of us agree that it is the best place for us.  Plus, he has a lot of friends living there so he's pumped about eventually moving there.
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move:
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move
    I guess I'm just upset that he thinks that him getting this job should derail our plans that we made.
    Posted by steph96
    Things change; you have to flow with life. He isn't in the same situation as he was before, and you need to appreciate that since his life has changed, your plans will change as well because you're making plans as a unit, not solo.

  • wink0erinwink0erin
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move:
    In Response to Re: Disagreement about when to move : Things change; you have to flow with life. He isn't in the same situation as he was before, and you need to appreciate that since his life has changed, your plans will change as well because you're making plans as a unit, not solo.
    Posted by ahstillwell
    THIS!
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