Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?

Shabar09

So, for the past few months, I've been throwing around the idea of putting myself in an egg donation database. I feel like I'd be a really good candidate for it just because of my health and background. I definitely haven't made any serious steps other than printing out application paperwork and doing some online research. I was wondering if any of you ladies have been a part of this from either side, donor or donee? I'd love to get some opinions from those who have been through it or also considered it.

As further background, I'm 21 (which is generally the minimum age), in good health, non-smoker, lead a healthy lifestyle, and am of sound mind (I have never been diagnosed with any mental illness or complications and have never been on medication for anything non-physical, thus my personal opinion is that I'm sane). I don't have any hard leaning one way or another about adoption, fertility treatments, abortion, or anything of that nature. I believe it's all the choice of the individual what they do with their body/life/genetic material. I also am unsure if I ever want children of my own. I will admit that my main motivation is financial. I have aquaintances that put a significant dent in their student loans this way. I'd like to make an effort to begin paying mine off before I graduate, which is hard to do without a large influx of money.  

Also, thanks for your patience with my questions. I know I ask a lot more than I answer.

Edit: Any inexperienced opinions are welcome as well! I'd like to think I've looked at this from all sides but hey! I could totally be overlooking a game-changing detail.

Elle1036

Are you tall, thin, and gorgeous? A clean bill of health isn't the only thing that potential parents look for in a donor. Yeah, it's enough to get you accepted by an agency, but you're unlikely to be accepted if you're a new donor and don't look like a supermodel.

MrsKathyC

I had a neighbor be an egg donor in return for IVF treatments (she had had her tubes tied but was in a new relationship and wanted another baby).  I don't know how she passed the tests, she was dumb as a rock!

Not judging at all, but I personally wouldn't be able to do it, to me those eggs are potential children. The mother in me is a little put off by thinking of it in financial terms. But I can see how someone without children wouldn't view it that way. 

Egg retrieval can be pretty painful, btw.

Peaseblossom55

I considered it before grad school, but decided not to. My biggest reason was that I didn't want someone out there who was a part of me that I wasn't taking care of.  I also wondered how I would if somehow 20 years later they tried to find me.  I'm also very short, it runs in the family so I imagine that may not be appealing to some people. 

peekaboo2011

I've honestly considered it.  You hear on the radio around here all the time how one cycle will pay $6000.  And every time I hear that, I think about how if it worked for me for a year, I could pay off all of my student loans.

Unfortunately, as my mother keeps reminding me, I have a genetic defect that causes my celiac.  And no one wants a gluten free kid.

JordanL1221

I thought about it last year, but after my miscarriage last month, I could never ever let someone else have part of me and me not know if their baby ended up being healthy, or if I caused them to have a miscarriage because it was a problem with my eggs. I don't want anyone to feel that pain, because if they are looking for an egg donor, they have probably struggled with miscarriages or ovulation issues and I wouldn't want to add to it.

LaSak87

Those of us who have been medicated for non-physical issues such as depression and anxiety resent the insinuation that we are "not sane."  That being said, I have given it thought before but haven't made any moves to pursue it further.

minskat30

I couldn't do it, personally, unless it were to donate an egg to my sister.  I view those eggs as my potential children too. 

I also think you need to be very thin/athletic, with a family free of major diseases (not just you...your mom, dad, grandparents, uncles/aunts, siblings, etc.), very pretty, etc. Not saying your aren't (I don't know you) but just putting that out there.

Also, they make 21 the minimum age for a reason...you may be very mature but you may not know how you will feel about this issue in a few years, when you start thinking about having kids of your own and/or how a future spouse might feel about it (I know I would be weirded out if my SO had a genetic kid out there whose life he wasn't involved in).  Again, not trying to judge...you may have thought through this already.

CSTK1910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_egg-donation-any-one-with-an-experience-to-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cad70f1c-1cc1-4125-8eb6-da0d78524895Post:a202cb44-8504-4140-9732-bacfa9ca54f8">Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you tall, thin, and gorgeous? A clean bill of health isn't the only thing that potential parents look for in a donor. Yeah, it's enough to get you accepted by an agency, but you're unlikely to be accepted if you're a new donor and don't look like a supermodel.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think that's true. I went through premature ovarian failure at 24, so when the time comes I will either be using an egg donor or adopting. I go back and forth on it, but if I do decide to use an egg donor I hope to find someone who looks like me (similar height, coloring, etc), and I am certainly not a supermodel haha.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, I think it is a very personal decision. If you do decide to do it, I think you would be giving someone an amazing gift. I think the hardest part (on both sides) is that it is hard to separate the idea of the egg from the idea of the baby. Yes, it is my egg, but another woman carried it for 9 months and gave birth to it. Is it mine? Is it hers? Do I have a baby out there? It's just weird to try to wrap your head around it.</div><div>
</div><div>As far as egg retrieval goes, it is not an easy process, but I think it is a lot better than it used to be. By the time we caught my infertility, it would have been a waste of money to even try IVF, but I was told that that it is just uncomfortable for most people, often followed by bad menstrual cramps. </div><div>
</div><div>If you are seriously considering it, there are infertility boards on the nest, and I'm sure the bump, as well as some other ones on the internet. There are a lot of people who have been through this that are happy to talk about it. Good luck!</div>

[Deleted User]

I don't think you have to be a super model, but there are weight requirements. I don't know much about the actual extraction of egg(s), but you are sedated during the procedure. I have heard that you have to take multiple medications and go in for frequent doctor appointments. It's not simply show up at the doctor's one day and they do a simple procedure and you're done. There is some information if you click the link below.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_donation#The_egg_donor.27s_process_in_detail

Elle1036

Ok, guys. I don't mean that you LITERALLY need to look like a supermodel, but you do need to be taller, thinner, and prettier than most. Potential donors under 5'7" aren't accepted nearly as frequently as taller girls. ...and, yes, I do know this from experience.

MrsKathyC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_egg-donation-any-one-with-an-experience-to-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:cad70f1c-1cc1-4125-8eb6-da0d78524895Post:c7855f76-4ac4-4d53-8efb-0275a1d0dd8a">Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, guys. I don't mean that you LITERALLY need to look like a supermodel, but you do need to be<strong> taller, thinner, and prettier</strong> than most. Potential donors under 5'7" aren't accepted nearly as frequently as taller girls. ...and, yes, I do know this from experience.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

My neighbor was none of those!!!!  Exception to the rule, I guess, lol

Elle1036

In Response to Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?:[QUOTE]My neighbor was none of those!!!!nbsp; Exception to the rule, I guess, lol Posted by MrsKathyC[/QUOTE]

That's surprising, but I guess there are always exceptions. Was your neighbor a particular ethnicity? That can affect it. Couples do, as a PP mentioned, generally try to choose a donor who resembles them. Donors from certain parts of Asia are in high demand.

LilTexasGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_egg-donation-any-one-with-an-experience-to-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cad70f1c-1cc1-4125-8eb6-da0d78524895Post:d4d0f5e2-9b18-4696-ac6c-d9172b694f23">Re: Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've honestly considered it.  You hear on the radio around here all the time how one cycle will pay $6000.  And every time I hear that, I think about how if it worked for me for a year, I could pay off all of my student loans. Unfortunately, as my mother keeps reminding me, I have a genetic defect that causes my celiac.  <strong>And no one wants a gluten free kid.</strong>
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Same here... but I'm as small as a biscuit, so I'd come up a bit <em>short. </em></div>

CSTK1910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_egg-donation-any-one-with-an-experience-to-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cad70f1c-1cc1-4125-8eb6-da0d78524895Post:c7855f76-4ac4-4d53-8efb-0275a1d0dd8a">Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, guys. I don't mean that you LITERALLY need to look like a supermodel, but you do need to be taller, thinner, and prettier than most. Potential donors under 5'7" aren't accepted nearly as frequently as taller girls. ...and, yes, I do know this from experience.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>I definitely agree that you are more likely to be selected if you are better looking. As shallow as I feel saying this, if two donors were the same in all of the other aspects that are important to me, I would probably go for the one I thought was better looking. However, I think less likely is more accurate than unlikely to be selected as you initially said. The people looking for eggs are all so different and looking for different things, that I think it is pretty much a crapshoot whether you are a good match for someone. Sorry, this is not as cohesive as I had hoped. I guess what I'm trying to say is that good looks do help boost your odds, but they are by no means a make it or break it type thing.</div>

MrsKathyC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_egg-donation-any-one-with-an-experience-to-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:cad70f1c-1cc1-4125-8eb6-da0d78524895Post:cba0cab1-190e-4e5f-9173-3600ad72ba60">Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?: That's surprising, but I guess there are always exceptions. Was your neighbor a particular ethnicity? That can affect it. Couples do, as a PP mentioned, generally try to choose a donor who resembles them. Donors from certain parts of Asia are in high demand.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

No, just a 20 something, slightly overweight, plain looking brunette. 

CSTK1910

To be fair, though, I am coming at this from a different (and perhaps selfish) angle. I'd hate for someone who would have been a great match for me to be deterred just because she thought she wasn't pretty enough. I figure the more choices I have, the more likely I am to have a good match. I don't want to push anyone to donate their eggs because it really is a big deal, but I also don't want anyone to be deterred for something like that.

MrsKathyC

If I were to "adopt" an egg, I would want the donor to look like me.  And I'm not a super model! 

leia1979

I thought about it once, but you had to go on fertility drugs for some fairly long period of time. To me, that meant too great a chance of possibly getting pregnant myself, and that is not an option for me.

Shabar09

LaSak, I'm sorry for the insinuation. That is very much not what I meant by that. I just meant to say I fit these agencies definition of "sane". My sincere apologies. I would never want to discriminate against anyone in that way.

I have definitely thought about the emotion complications but I guess that is something I really wouldn't know until I did it. I'm of the opinion that 'my children' will be the ones I raise, if I ever have any, so I feel like this wouldn't bother me. Again, I just can't know now.

I don't mean to sound conceited either, but I am tall (5'8") and have been naturally thin thus far in life. I wouldn't say I'm gorgeous, but I am often told I am very pretty. I also would like to think I'm intelligent. Whether that is true or not is defnitely up for debate.

Thank you all for the responses.

jaycee7389

From what I've read you typically have to have a college degree to donate an egg. I've also heard requirements about appearance/height/weight. I would consider it to pay off my student loans, but I hate the thought of having a biological child out there that I wasn't raising. 

jorja86

In Response to Re:Egg donation, any one with an experience to share?:[QUOTE]Those of us who have been medicated for nonphysical issues such as depression and anxiety resent the insinuation that we are quot;not sane.quot;nbsp; That being said, I have given it thought before but haven't made any moves to pursue it further. Posted by LaSak87[/QUOTE]

THANK YOU. I saw this post this morning on my phone, and intended to come back and comment on that totally offensive definition of "sanity", but then I fell back asleep and forgot about it.

OP, from what I understand, the process can be very tough physically, not to mention the potential emotional issues. It's something I would give a lot of thought to. Don't be blinded by the potential compensation. It's that high for a reason.

Wrkn925

It wouldn't bother me that my genetic material would be someone else's kid. I could deal with the pain, too. I don't know about all the dr appointments, though. I have a hard enough time scheduling them around work.

I looked into it (years ago), but I drink and smoke and heart diesease runs in my family, so I wouldn't qualify.

DetArt00

A friend of mine nearly DIED due to poor aftercare from egg donation. 

All went well during the procedure, but afterwards she had major pain and bleeding. Her doc told her at the follow up visit that there were no problems - she was released from care. But... two days later, she collapsed at work. Lucky for her, we were MA's at a gyn clinic, and she was rushed to a nearby hospital, then airlifted to another facility where she was put into a drug induced coma for almost a week. The second facility was able to bring her out of it with minimal permanent damage.

Sure, she made $6000 or so for donation. But, she ended up with almost $100,000 in medical bills, not covered by insurance because this was the result of an elective procedure. This was 4 years ago. Legal action is still in process.

So, if anyone is considering this... please really think long and hard about it.