Not Engaged Yet

Fake e-ring?

It's funny how your tastes change as you grow up-- I always thought I would want a big ol' princess cut diamond ring growing up.  Recently, BF and I had the "talk"-- he asked me on New Year's Day this year:

BF: Wanna get engaged this year?
Me: <thinks about it /> Hm, maybe.  If we do, it should be closer to the end of the year.  End of this year, beginning of next year.  Surprise me.
BF: Cool.

It's so funny how I'm getting so nonchalant about the whole thing as I get older.  Here's the kicker: as I'm starting to research e-rings (just for kicks), I'm beginning to realize I really don't want him to spend $5, 6, 7, 8K on a ring.  I honestly think I'd be just as happy getting a medium sized FAKE (CZ or something) e-ring and putting that extra 7K or so towards a rockin' wedding.  And I'll be honest-- if I can't really tell the difference between a diamond and a fake stone, I'm betting my friends/family couldn't either. 

Here's where you come in...and be honest! Do you judge the thought of a bride getting a CZ ring?  How about a bride getting a CZ ring and lying about the fact that it's fake? (ha)

Re: Fake e-ring?

  • edited December 2011
    It's only tacky if you lie. But I doubt I'd announce that it wasn't a diamond. You should look up moissanite. It's a colorless stone that looks similar to a diamond, is almost as hard, and has more fire to it. Oh, and it's cheaper.

    I really wanted one, and while I wouldn't have broadcasted to my friends and family that it wasn't a diamond, I wouldn't have been ashamed to clarify if the subject came up. I think moissanite are beautiful.
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think it's tacky to have a CZ instead of a real diamond but it would be bad if you lied about it.

    You could always get a stone that's not a diamond in it - like Jeana said moissanite is beautiful and still almost as hard as a diamond. Or a white sapphire but it won't sparkle quite as much. Or you could get a colored stone instead of a diamond. There are lots of options out there as long as you are open to it.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    edited December 2011
    It's only tacky if you lie about it. That's just my opinion, though. :)
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  • desertsundesertsun member
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    edited December 2011
    CZs are not my taste. I prefer the real thing, and I can tell the difference. 

    You don't have to spend a lot to get a beautiful diamond ring -- if you don't want to spend a lot, look at bands or rings with smaller stones instead of the traditional solitaire. 

    Just do a quick search on ebay or overstock.com and you will see an amazing variety available anywhere from $250 to $2k.

    If you really WANT a CZ or moissanite, that's completely up to you, of course. I'm just pointing out, in case you would actually like diamonds, that there really is something for every budget.
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  • mg1363mg1363 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not a huge fan of CZ...and definitely not of "bending the truth" about it ;) haha! My vote would be for you to find a different kind of stone that you like. Maybe you could even find a ring that you like that incorporates both of your birthstones. Then you have a sweet story behind the ring.
  • edited December 2011
    a friend of mine got a ring from a place called Secrets-Shhh in australia. She was in CA when she bought it though. They are stimulant diamonds, made with real diamonds. They mix it together. Her ring is gorgeous! it was 2.5K and she spent about $800 US dollars on it. I compared it to a real one, and I couldnt tell the difference AT ALL!
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  • edited December 2011
    I think you should try some rings on. I have a .5 k diamond and anything bigger than .75 just looked HUGE to me. I always had 1k in my mind and it turns out that it just wasn't my style when I put it on. Maybe you'll decide that a smaller diamond looks nice on you and you prefer it to a "fake" diamond.

    Or you might not. Just don't lie and tell everyone that it's real.
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  • edited December 2011
    Check out Moissanite... it's great as long as you REALLY don't mind that it's not a real diamond.  I've suggested it to my BF but I don't know what he's planning on getting and I'm okay with whatever he decides.  I told him I was totally okay with moissanite and as is was not white gold and not too flashy I'd love it!

    No matter what you end up with remember that it isn't the type of stone or it's size or value that matters... its what the ring represents!

    Like everyone else said no matter what you decide to get it's tacky to lie about what it is.  It's also tacky for someone to ask if that is a real diamond though... but if you guys are struggling to make ends (I don't know if that is the case or not obviously) and then you show up with a huge rock on your finger people may wonder. 
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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    CZ discolors over time. I don't know anything about Moissanite.

    I don't think it's tacky at all, unless you lie about it.

    FWIW, you CAN get a decent stone for a reasonable price - you don't have to get a colorless perfect grade stone.
  • zaneopalzaneopal member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you're 100% sure you don't want a diamond, then yeah, go for whatever. Like PPs said, it's only tacky if you lie.

    But I'm seconding KD's suggestion: try some on first. I remember putting on my mom's 1/2 carat ring when I was a teenage, just for funsies, and thinking it was HUGE. (I wear size 4.5 rings--I've got teeny little fingers)

    I think some colored stones look just as beautiful as engagement rings as diamonds do. One of my college friends is currently designing a ring to propose to his GF with, and it's going to have a sapphire in the middle--she doesn't like diamonds, and sapphire is her birth stone, so it seemed a natural choice. Additionally, my friend's aunt and uncle have been collecting gem stones from heirloom jewelery and the like, so my friend isn't going to have to pay for the stone. They've already promised him one of their sapphires.
  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Fake rings are fine if you want it, also, my sister has really great ring that has other colored stones.  

    I will say I judge my FBIL who took his mothers ring, then bought his GF a fake one, I just don't get that.
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  • edited December 2011

    I have no issues with CZ rings - it's only tacky if you lie ;-) But I think you should definitely look into alternative options. It doesn't have to be a diamond! Do some research, find out what stones you like. You might prefer the look of an aquamarine or pink sapphire instead. Or get a ring with a few smaller diamonds instead of one gigantic one. Go window shopping with your boyfriend - that way you both find out what you like. Good luck!  

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  • edited December 2011
    Getting a non-diamond e-ring (I don't like using the term "fake", as it's a real ring to symbolize a very real engagement) is not tacky. Lying about it is.

    Another option - don't get a honking rock, and shop around. The original ring FI and I had looked at was about 0.6ct medium-grade princess with side diamonds that would have set us back about $3K. FI did some research, took the design I liked and took it to a private dealer and had them build a custom ring. I ended up getting a ring with a 0.45ct colorless nearly flawless princess with side diamonds for less than $1500. The trick is knowing what you're looking for and shopping around. Going to a private dealer, or a dealer like BlueNile (that cuts out the middle man) will often result in you getting a better quality ring at a lower price.

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fake-e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cbe972b5-229c-4dd5-b694-36ac00b092d1Post:d102d4da-3cad-4e6e-9672-c6242e9b2ee9">Re: Fake e-ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't like using the term "fake", as it's a real ring to symbolize a very real engagement
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    <strong>THIS!</strong>
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  • CA2MT4EveRCA2MT4EveR member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think the tacky part is lying about it being real, or flaunting it like "look at me I got big ol' bling!"  I am also not a fan of the bunch of little stones that look big from far away but up close are small when someone flaunts that as a "huge" ring. 

    I too agree with moissanite being a nice look, better than CZ.  There is also a diamond that is grown called Apollo.

    As far as taking that few thousand dollars and using it for a wedding, Yes it is great to have a fun party for all of your guests, but I would rather use that money towards something more substantial, like a house. 
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  • larina+jeremylarina+jeremy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    your ring is really no ones business i think. i dont think you should lie, but i dont think you need to tell anyone either. no one is going to say "how much was it" or even worse, i seriously doubt anyone would ask if it was real. that would just be rude imo. so i think you should do whatever you want! dont lie though, and if it comes out, be prepared for some snarky comments. if you think you can handle that, go for it!
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    There are alot of options for e-rings. Having a diamond is actually just an American tradition, its much less common in Europe and other places (Princess Diana had a saphire e-ring). Personally I don't want a diamond, its just not my thing. If you don't want a diamond then don't get one and I don't think getting a fake diamond is tacky either although there are some rings with real diamonds that aren't as expensive. I think you should look into all of the options that there are and decide what you like best. And I agree with the other posters, its only tacky if you lie because that makes it seem like you are ashamed of it.


  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Personally, I judge the idea of CZs because the only reason to get one is to pass it off as a diamond, even if you're not actively lying about it.  If I were not going to get a diamond, I would get a completely different type of ring, probably a sapphire.
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fake-e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cbe972b5-229c-4dd5-b694-36ac00b092d1Post:e67df5ad-6c7e-46eb-8d73-139f43ee2130">Re: Fake e-ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally, I judge the idea of CZs because<strong> the only reason to get one is to pass it off as a diamond, even if you're not actively lying about it.</strong>  If I were not going to get a diamond, I would get a completely different type of ring, probably a sapphire.
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    Or maybe you like the look of a colorless, sparkly stone but can't afford a diamond? So no, it's not the ONLY reason to get a CZ.
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  • AmandalovesAlAmandalovesAl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI bought me a beautiful 3/4 princess cut and i love love love it...now if you had asked me, i would have told him to buy me a stone other than a diamond so it was different, beautiful, and a lot cheaper than a diamond...HOWEVER, HE wanted it to be a diamond.  He said that I would be wearing this ring for the rest of my life (true) and showing it off to everyone (also true) and wanted it to be the traditional diamond.  He saved up, and though it was a lot of money (3000 or so), I love it and I love what it means to BOTH of us.  You have to consider his feeling in the matter, and not go with a CZ cause it looks like a diamond...maybe consider another stone if you want to save a little money, but i think it should be real.
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  • edited December 2011
    BF and I have seriously talked about Moissanite (if he decides to not go with his grandmother's ring), I think you should look into it.  They're lab created, but they're the exact same compound that is made up from a stone found on a meteor.  I think it's fun that it's kind of like having a little star on your finger. :)  And you can get a great sized stone for way less than 1K.

    Check out moissaniteco.com

    But I also wouldn't pass it off as a real diamond.  If someone asks if it's real, just say "Yep, it's a real moissanite."

    They're legit gemstones, not diamond substitutes, and they're absolutely beautiful.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
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    edited December 2011
    The idea of letting people think you have a diamond when you don't just seems... deceitful?

    It's like when you get married at the courthouse and don't tell anyone and then invite them to your "wedding."

    Yeah, maybe they don't know the difference, but you're not exactly being honest either.

    So it's not exactly "tacky," but I still don't like the idea.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fake-e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:cbe972b5-229c-4dd5-b694-36ac00b092d1Post:fa5f277e-8d6a-45dc-b573-dc1ac2b394d0">Re: Fake e-ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The idea of letting people think you have a diamond when you don't just seems... deceitful? It's like when you get married at the courthouse and don't tell anyone and then invite them to your "wedding."
    Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

    And BOOM! goes the throwdown...lol

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  • edited December 2011
    Honestly you dont have to lie about whether its fake. I mean i think it is rude if someone asks if it is real or not. It is non of their business. If some one asks just say something like arnt you nosey. or something like that. its your ring and you should do and say whatever you want. Atleast thats how i feel.
  • edited December 2011
    I fully agree with not wanting to spend that much on a ring. My FI was on a really tight budget, but I got a half carat diamond that I love and think is beautiful, and he got it for $500. Not 5K, 500. Yeah, it came from Walmart. But I love it and I never lie about where he got it. He has connections with people who work in the jewelry department there so he got it at a slight discount. I think a CZ ring is fine if it's what you really want. I know that diamonds last longer and generally require less cleaning/maintenance to keep them sparkly. Also, a CZ ring won't have quite the same prismatic effect that a diamond does. But still, it's a viable substitute. It all depends on what you want, really. I wanted an affordable, but beautiful, reasonably sized diamond ring. That is what I got. The half carat looks perfect on my finger, and anything bigger wouldn't suit me as well. If you're thinking you want something larger and don't care as much about the stone, then go with the CZ. Whatever you get, always remember to wear it with pride.
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  • emjohn1019emjohn1019 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    First, I think "fake" just invites a negative connotation. Another person said that it's not fake because it's a real ring and a real engagement. Very true.

    If you're considering a "non-diamond" that you want to be like a real diamond (which, is your business and your business only) then you should try Moissanite, not CZs. CZs are cheap, but don't sparkle and it's WAY obvious that they aren't real diamonds. Moissanite's are nealy identical to diamonds, are real gemstones, and they're very reasonably priced. Try MoissaniteCo, that's where my FI and I are going to get my ring.

    As far as "tacky" is concerned: your ring is your ring. No one else's. If you get a Moissanite and you don't want to tell people it's not a diamond, don't. Who cares? I don't plan to lie to people about my Moissanite, but I'm not advertizing it. If someone asks me if it's real, I'll say, "Yes, it's a real Moissanite." But I won't be saying, "Hey, guess what? It's not a diamond!"

    At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what people think. I've seen tons of "real" e-rings that were huge and impressive, but just weren't my style. I'd rather have a "non-diamond" that expresses my personality. Go with your gut and don't worry about "tacky" or what anyone else thinks! Tongue out
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