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Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)

I'll post it in a new one.

I've always wanted to date someone with siblings. I never really have. FI has a half sister, but they don't know each other and she lives in FL.

This [Yaga's in-laws] makes me wonder if it's usually hard to get along with SIL/BILs, as it sometimes can be with MIL/FILs. I wonder what my brother's girlfriend thinks of me, lol. I love her and wouldn't trade her for anything, but I wonder what she thinks of my mom and I, her possible FMIL/FSIL, lol.

I know that in-laws don't always have to not get along, but I don't really know anyone who is close to/loves their in-laws. My brother's gf doesn't count because they're not even engaged yet, lol.

I'm pretty sure you all know that, while I don't not get along with FMIL, we aren't exactly really close either. I'd like for that to change though, as long as the drama is dropped.

How do you all get along with your in-laws or future in-laws?
-Ely

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Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)

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    IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I get along better with my future in-laws than I do with my own mom. My dad and I get along better now than we used to, but my mother and I - uuuuuugh it's a constant battle. She thinks the world revolves around her, and everyone should live to serve her. She's a PITA. I love her, but yeah, she's a PITA.
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    edited December 2011
    My in-laws are shockingly similar to my own parents and they know it. I get along great with them, FI's siblings, and their tiny extended family of 7 people. FI's sister is in my bridal party and she is wonderful. I also get along really well with his brother. His siblings are closer in age to me than he is which is kind of funny.
    5/27/12
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    tuarceathatuarceatha member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Oops I misread this.

    I love FI's mom. His dad passed the first year we dated :( I'm soooo bummed I didn't know him better before then.
    His mom is awesome.

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    KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I generally don't, its just a personality clash.  If it wasn't his family I wouldn't talk to them.
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    kellyt89kellyt89 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm an only child and so is BF and the only thing that bums me out about our relationship (not that much) is that our kids won't have any 1st cousins. I grew up with 4 cousins (and 4 close 2nd cousins) on my dad's side and 9 on my mom's side. It sometimes makes me a little sad to think that my kids won't have BIG family holidays like I did.

    I get along with BF's parents well on a surface level. We're not really close though and his mom is pretty overprotective of BF (he's been making a lot of changes in their relationship, asserting his independance, which sometimes causes huge fights..) and also very religious so it's sometimes hard to relate to her. But they're both good hearted people who like me (I think!) and I think that I could get along with them fairly well as inlaws as long as BF was there to back me up on boundaries.

    I always wanted to be super close with a future MIL but it's okay if that's not in the cards for me - I'm super close with my mom and that's definitely good enough :)
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    becunning2becunning2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I get along with the boyfriend's patents and sister just fine, but I hate his brother. He's basically a lazy mooching loser, grrrrrrrrrooooooooooss!
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I get along with BF's family really well.

    His brother is his best friend and we spend tons of time with him. We even spent Valentine's day with him one year. I get along with him well. We think really alike (which scares BF sometimes) and he is a really great guy.

    His younger sister is so sweet it's impossible not to like her. We aren't close but we do chat occasionally.

    His dad is so weird and has a habit of getting on my nerves sometimes but he is a nice guy so I don't hold it against him too much.

    His mom is really sweet too. I like her a lot. Both of his parents do these crazy diets that make me roll my eyes but they are so nice.

    Despite small things that annoy me I really like BF's family. I guess I got lucky.


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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kelly: You'll just have to have lots and lots of babies and have your big family holidays! : )

    There are fights between FI and his mom regarding boundaries too. I think it's slowly getting better, which makes me happy. She definitely has a different personality though. She's the kind of person to always be talking/moving/studying people. Those kinds of people make me nervous. I always have preferred to blend in with the background, but it's impossible to do that with her. Maybe it will be good for me though and get me out of this shyness. Until that day comes, I drink wine, lol. That always loosens me up.

    As far as FI's dad, he lives in Colorado and is a once-a-month contact kind of dad. And even then it's kinda short with one word replies.

    Oh, and as for my brother's girlfriend. She's going to be in our wedding. People are freaking out about "what if they break up?" But I'm fine with uneven numbers, so I'm not concerned. She's awesome and I want her to be a part of it since she'll be family some day. They're looking at rings now too so it's only a matter of time!
    -Ely

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    QuiltingNurseQuiltingNurse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In general I like Bf's family. We hang out with his brother and his girfriend quite often and all get along really well. We're all close in age and have a lot in common. 

    His Dad lives about 8 hours away. I thought he was wonderful, quite strange, but wonderful. 

    His Mom lives in town with his Step Dad and while I like them, they are very odd people. I feel like I can't have a conversation with them about anything besides their two Basset Hounds, or work. We lived with them for a month while we waited for our house and it was awkward since I was alone with them half of the time. They're very nice people, but I kinda get the impression from his Ma that no one will ever be good enough for her boys. In saying all of that, we get along well and they've never given me the impression they don't like me. 

    My family LOVES Bf, they treat him like their son/brother. Him and my sister get along so well, she came up to visit us a month or so ago and I feel like they had more fun hanging out together when I was at work than with me. My parents only had girls so they always refer to him as 'the son they never had'. Sometimes it seems they like him more than their actual kids!
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    Beads921Beads921 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I get along great with FI's brother and sister and both of their partners. I was good friends with his SIL through high school, and met FBIL before FI.

    I actually get along better with my future siblings-in-law than I do with FMIL. I'm actual friends with the siblings, I'm just civil with FMIL.
     
    FFIL and I get along, but I don't know him all that well.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:eb87413a-01c7-445f-b8d7-285950c89e1b">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I get along with the boyfriend's patents and sister just fine, but I hate his brother. He's basically a lazy mooching loser, grrrrrrrrrooooooooooss!
    Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

    Lol, I could have written this myself.
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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:2c3c215b-36a2-4546-9d3a-a4d5f3b54402">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In general I like Bf's family. We hang out with his brother and his girfriend quite often and all get along really well. We're all close in age and have a lot in common.  His Dad lives about 8 hours away. I thought he was wonderful, quite strange, but wonderful.  His Mom lives in town with his Step Dad and while I like them, they are very odd people. I feel like I can't have a conversation with them about anything besides their two Basset Hounds, or work. We lived with them for a month while we waited for our house and it was awkward since I was alone with them half of the time. They're very nice people, but I kinda get the impression from his Ma that no one will ever be good enough for her boys. In saying all of that, we get along well and they've never given me the impression they don't like me.  <strong>My family LOVES Bf,</strong> they treat him like their son/brother. Him and my sister get along so well, she came up to visit us a month or so ago and I feel like they had more fun hanging out together when I was at work than with me. My parents only had girls so they always refer to him as 'the son they never had'. Sometimes it seems they like him more than their actual kids!
    Posted by QuiltingNurse[/QUOTE]


    I forgot to mention that side, lol. My family also loves FI. My grandma even wrote me after we got engaged and said she'd be proud to have him as a grandson, which is a huge thing because she normally has problems with newcomers to the family, lol. I can't go alone to any family functions without them asking where he is and I swear my cousin's twins (5 yrs. old) like him more than they like me, lol.
    -Ely

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    csousa1csousa1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I get along fine with BF's brother and SIL, but they live in CA so I barely see them. Also, BF's brother is 13 years older than him, and his wife is 10 years older that him, so BF's SIL is 24 years older than me. She was born the same year as my dad. She's awesome.

    BF gets along incredibly well with my family. He and my mom adore each other, and he and my dad get along great. BF and I were friends a while before dating, so he knew my sister really well because we all hung out in the same group. They got along great, and then when she lived with us....well, that ended badly. REALLY badly. I posted about it when it happened in June and I was pretty shook up about it. Things were tense between them for a while, but they recently talked about it a little and made up, and they've been great since. I'm so glad, because their relationship was very important to me and it would have broken my heart if their fight changed things forever.

    I adore my FBIL - my sister's FI. I didn't always love him though. He was my ex-best friend's BF for 6 years. They broke up, and less than two years later he was with my sister, who is five years younger than him. Needless to say it came as a shock and I had a hard time coping at first, but we have been great for a very long time now. We have more similar personalities than my sister and I do in a lot of ways - she and I joke that we each picked guys whose personalities reminded us of the other sister. FBIL's twin, however, causes some issues. He's had a crush on me for about 10 years now, and makes it known - even in front of BF. BF hates him, and is not happy that I am the MOH and he's the BM in my sister's wedding. Hopefully no drama will ensue.
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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How do you all get along with your in-laws or future in-laws?

    Ha.  Well I really do like FI’s mom now, we get along much better after she decided that it was better that she knew me before getting married (FI’s brother dated a girl for 3 months, proposed and got married 6 months later.  The family met her once before the wedding.)  So I think his mom was glad that she at least knows me and we get along fine now.  His dad is a whole can of worms.  I don’t think he likes me.  He says rude things to me often so I just try to avoid him.  :/  His little sister loves me and I love her.  His brother I don’t really know, I thinks he could care less about me :/ But I like his wife and I hope she likes me.

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I love my ILs.  They ROCK.  FBD's sister is amazing! She's fun to hang out with and she's got a great personality.  His parents are the nicest people you could ever meet - they always make me feel just like family.  I love them <3

    FBD and my famjam get along great, as well.  I think we both have such similar families that we just fit well together.  

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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:3db16611-ba2b-41df-a73d-d28abce23f3b">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI's family and mine are just... different.  They have expectations about money and gift giving that I don't understand.  It causes a lot of arguing between me and FI, but since he's "cheap," it isn't as bad as it could be.  (When I was pissed that we have to invite like 50 people to our wedding that are extended family members of FMIL and FFIL, everyone said "Oh don't worry, they'll make it worth inviting them (by their gift)."  While it's totally awesome they can afford to do that, I would NEVER say anything like that out loud.  Maybe just to FI, maybe.) I'm also pretty shy at first, and they are NOT.  So I think they all thought I was a huge stuck up bitch at first.  No, I'm just shy and was super intimidated.  FMIL is.... a lot to handle.  She's a very nice person, but no one I would be friends with or anything if I weren't marrying her son.  FFIL is easier to get along with, and I get along really well with his GF and her two daughters.  I get along fine with FSILs, FBIL, and FBIL's wife, but again, we're not super close.  FI's SIL is really close with everyone.  But she's very similar to them personality-wise, and also gave birth to the only grandkids/niece and nephew.   FI is a twin, and I could probably spend the most time with her one on one.  We are very different people though.  I'm definitely a guy's girl - I like football, South Park, hate pop music.  I've always gotten along better with guys - and my girlfriends are very much like me.   I really like my brother's exGF.  She would be in my bridal party if they were still together.  I've visited her at college and we still talk occasionally (so do her and my brother.... weird).  She's actually in my cousin's bridal party.  I think that is weird.   FI gets along with my family really well I think.  They're all laid back, so it's a different vibe than his family.  He's gone golfing and stuff with my dad and brothers.  My parents LOVE texting him during Jets and Mets games.  <strong>He tends to get on my mom's side and they gang up on me.  Jerks.</strong>
    Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

    Haha, I know how that is! My dad and FI aren't really into sports, but they'll go hunting together and stuff like that. He has no issues at all with me leaving him with my dad for an extended period of time if I'm busy doing something else. I've spent time alone with his mom before though and she is exhausting, lol. I feel like she's more relaxed when it's one-on-one though. It's strange. She's a very complex person.
    -Ely

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    doubleSS07doubleSS07 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    BF's family is JUST like mine.  Him and my dad get along real well.  i don't speak to my mom or younger brother so he's never met them.  I love BF's family and we get along real well.  He only has 1 sister and her and I walk every morning before work and hang out just us 2 pretty often.  Her baby daddy (they aren't married and don't plan on it) is much older than her by like 22 years so it's kinda weird talking to him.  His neice is 10 and she is precocious as all get out and I love it.  She's been asking for 2 years when she can call me "Aunt".  His dad lives in Thailand and comes home at Christmas.  His mom reminds me of my mom alot except she's not an alcoholic but she's a complainer.  She's tolerable though and she wants us to hurry it up and make her grandma again LOL nothing like pressure!  We both have cousins that we talk to every now and then but not super close.

    Kelly89- I feel the same way..I'm bummed we both don't have larger families for our kids to have holidays like when I was younger.  We have a lot of close frineds though and our kids will be in the same age range and we want to make our own sort of "family" traditions and get togethers since their family situations are similar to ours. 



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    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I love my ILs and I actually like spending more time with them than I do my own family sometimes.  I'm not super close to them where I'd randomly call just to chat or anything (but I don't really even do that with my own family, so there's that), but when they come to our house, there's no problems getting along, chatting, etc.

    H has 2 younger brothers (one is my age, the other is only 17) and I get along great with them too (when I say his family comes to visit, that his parents and both of his brothers).  His grandma is awesome and so is her new husband.  I even enjoy all of H's extended family.

    H is fairly close with my family as well.  He'll chat with my parents and one of my sisters on FB all the time.  My mom didn't have any boys, so I think my oldest sister really considers H her brother, she always seems to want his advice/approval on guys, etc.  In fact, I'm pretty sure my sister and my mom would have married H if they could have, LOL (not in a serious 'they hit on him all the time' way, but just that they really like him and how he treats me).

    If my ILs and I didn't get along, or if H didn't get along with my family, it wouldn't have changed us getting married, but it sure is awesome to have everyone like each other.  Even my parents and H's parents get along, it'll make it so much easier and drama-free, especially when we have kids and such.
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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sousa: I'm glad your BF and sister were able to make up, even if it's just a start. That stinks that the guy is so obvious about his crush. I'm sure your BF knows he has nothing to worry about, but it's disrespectful for that guy to act like that when you're in a relationship, so I understand why he'd be a little upset about it.

    Ray: I couldn't imagine getting engaged in 3 months and not getting to know my FI's family before the wedding. That's important to me. I can see why his mom would be a bit upset by that too.

    Paige: That's awesome that you all get along so well. I hope for that one day! BTW, what does FBD stand for? I always wonder but forget to ask, lol.
    -Ely

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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:072d16ad-6c85-4221-811b-f65ef35b5189">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ray: I couldn't imagine getting engaged in 3 months and not getting to know my FI's family before the wedding. That's important to me. I can see why his mom would be a bit upset by that too. Posted by elannis[/QUOTE]

    Ya I thought they were crazy too.  However, he has kind of checked out the family so it doesn't really surprise me.  :/  Oh well. 
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:2bd3fe0b-82bc-4eef-bd1d-09f9ea9171f0">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love my ILs and I actually like spending more time with them than I do my own family sometimes.  I'm not super close to them where I'd randomly call just to chat or anything (but I don't really even do that with my own family, so there's that), but when they come to our house, there's no problems getting along, chatting, etc. H has 2 younger brothers (one is my age, the other is only 17) and I get along great with them too (when I say his family comes to visit, that his parents and both of his brothers).  His grandma is awesome and so is her new husband.  I even enjoy all of H's extended family. H is fairly close with my family as well.  He'll chat with my parents and one of my sisters on FB all the time.  My mom didn't have any boys, so I think my oldest sister really considers H her brother, she always seems to want his advice/approval on guys, etc.  In fact, I'm pretty sure my sister and my mom would have married H if they could have, LOL (not in a serious 'they hit on him all the time' way, but just that they really like him and how he treats me). If my ILs and I didn't get along, or if H didn't get along with my family, it wouldn't have changed us getting married, but it sure is awesome to have everyone like each other.  <strong>Even my parents and H's parents get along,</strong> it'll make it so much easier and drama-free, especially when we have kids and such.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    My mom is so laid-back and gets along with everyone. She'll call you out if you deserve it, but for the most part everyone likes her, lol. So she's great at taking charge and has a way of talking with FMIL that makes her not feel like a stranger, even from the first visit. It's awesome. My mom has picked up on her insecurities and found a way to handle them so that they're not an issue and stuff gets done and FMIL doesn't feel awkward, lol, I wish I could be assertive like that.
    -Ely

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    edited December 2011
    I don't get along great with FI's immediate family. His aunt and uncle are really cool though. They are closer in age to us because they are his Dad's half siblings so much younger than him. His family is big and Italian and loud and talkative. I am quiet, fairly reserved, and I don't say what doesn't need to be said. They take this as rudeness. It really isn't. I just don't say anything if I don't have something to say.

    On the other hand FI gets along great with my family. My grandmother loves him. I think she prefers him to me...lol
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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:9cc793ed-2c37-47d0-9beb-8d905d04abb7">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't get along great with FI's immediate family. His aunt and uncle are really cool though. They are closer in age to us because they are his Dad's half siblings so much younger than him. His family is big and Italian and loud and talkative. <strong>I am quiet, fairly reserved, and I don't say what doesn't need to be said. They take this as rudeness. It really isn't. I just don't say anything if I don't have something to say.</strong> On the other hand FI gets along great with my family. My grandmother loves him. I think she prefers him to me...lol
    Posted by swhite2012[/QUOTE]

    I think this is why FMIL is a bit on-edge around me sometimes. I don't say anything that doesn't have to be said either and she's constantly worrying that I'm uncomfortable or need something, but I'm not saying it. I've told her, if I need something, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I'm fine. She has insecurities though, so put the two together and we end up with awkward, lol. I think we're getting to understand each other a little better. I'm not sure what it was exactly, but one day something clicked and I felt like I could speak freely around her (well, to a degree) and up until she starts drama, I am fine doing that. I still don't say a lot, but it's better than not saying anything unless spoken to first, lol.

    Oh, and FMIL is also as old as my grandma, literally one year younger than her. My great grandma was like 4 years younger than FI's grandma. So there's the age gap there that probably doesn't help either.
    -Ely

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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I get along with FI's family really well. We've been together since his sister was 7 so I've been around half her life and she's my little sister. His mother is fantastic and his dads pretty awesome. The ony downside to him is that he eats my food if I leave it in the fridge for more than an hour. He used to leave it but now he doesn't care. I think were all comfortable with each other lol.
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I get along really well with FI's family & my family treats him like he's blood & not a FIL. His family isn't super close which kind of works out because mine is & I have a really hard time being away from them for holidays & such. 



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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    How do you all get along with your in-laws or future in-laws?
    I get along great with FIs mom. She is a carbon copy of my mom (they even have the same purse!). FIs stepdad is weird. He is socialy awkward and doesn't take 'no' for an answer when asking things like whether you'd like coffee or want to watch a movie. He can make gatherings a little stressful at times.

    FI doesn't have a relationship with his dad or his half sister. I kind of wish that he did have more family, but at the same time, they could create drama, so I'm happy with what I'm getting. Getting to know his cousins in Germany was awesome, so I'm adopting them as my family, too :)

    FI gets along well with my family. He is shy and a bit reserved but has definitely come out of his shell over the last few years with them. We had an awesome double date with my sister and BIL a couple months ago. I wish we all lived closer. Poor FI is (practically) an only child but has handled my crazy family (18 aunts and uncles, 25+ cousins) well. 
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    edited December 2011
    Ok so may be I'm wierd.  I love BF'f family even his extended family.  They are so kind and nice to me, they make me feel like I am a part of their family.  There are no issues as far as I can tell.

    Luckily BF gets along great with my family and they love him, my mom's first words after meeting his 3 months into us dating was- marry him.  

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    edited December 2011
    I love, love, love my in-laws.  I seriously struck the in-law jackpot.  (Thankfully because my mom sucks monkey balls.)  Can they drive us crazy?  Yes.  However, most of the time it has to do with MIL caring too much or some sort of drama involving extended family. 

    I talk to my MIL daily.  We live only 6-blocks away from MIL and SFIL.  FIL and his gf live in town, but farther away.  (A whole 5 minute drive.)

    I do think that I have a great relationship with my MIL because we've both put in the effort to truly get to know one another.  We can disagree but still respect each other. 

    I think that your relationship with your in-laws depends on your partner's relationship with them before you ever come along.  DH has a really strong bond with his parents and sister.  Plus he had cut the apron strings long before I came along, so there was no competition between his mom and I. 

    Also to my advantage, I am the only woman that DH ever brought home to meet his family.  He went away for school and never moved back home.  His family met girlfriends if they visited him, but he never brought one back.  We had been dating a couple of months when he invited me to visit with him.  (It was for his grandparents' memorial service of all things.)  His family knew that he was serious about me, so I think that they put in more effort to get to know me.  I mean the dude was 29 and had had several gf's but had never bothered to try to include them in anything family related.  I guess they figured the gig was up and I was going to be around for the long haul.  Haha.
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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_instead-of-thread-jacking-yagas-post-laws?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d455b9fb-00a8-4c1e-86a9-d62943d2083aPost:ebfef5a9-2952-4010-a701-90cdde917217">Re: Instead of thread-jacking Yaga's post... (in-laws)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love, love, love my in-laws.  I seriously struck the in-law jackpot.  (Thankfully because my mom sucks monkey balls.)  Can they drive us crazy?  Yes.  However, most of the time it has to do with MIL caring too much or some sort of drama involving extended family.  I talk to my MIL daily.  We live only 6-blocks away from MIL and SFIL.  FIL and his gf live in town, but farther away.  (A whole 5 minute drive.) I do think that I have a great relationship with my MIL because <strong>we've both put in the effort to truly get to know one another.</strong>  We can disagree but still respect each other. <strong> I think that your relationship with your in-laws depends on your partner's relationship with them before you ever come along.</strong>  DH has a really strong bond with his parents and sister.  Plus he had cut the apron strings long before I came along, so there was no competition between his mom and I.  Also to my advantage, I am the only woman that DH ever brought home to meet his family.  He went away for school and never moved back home.  His family met girlfriends if they visited him, but he never brought one back.  We had been dating a couple of months when he invited me to visit with him.  (It was for his grandparents' memorial service of all things.)  His family knew that he was serious about me, so I think that they put in more effort to get to know me.  I mean the dude was 29 and had had several gf's but had never bothered to try to include them in anything family related.  I guess they figured the gig was up and I was going to be around for the long haul.  Haha.
    Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

    I agree with both of these things and I think it's definitely easier to just give up and not try, but I have noticed since I have started loosening up more and taking the advice I got here to try to ask her questions about herself, she has started to loosen up too.

    I think FI's issues with his mom are something that they need to work out still, but it seems that everyone wants to get to know each other more and be able to have a close relationship. We all have a few things to learn, but I'm hopeful for the future.
    -Ely

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    kellyt89kellyt89 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    elannis - Haha I will! Actually, for the past 10 or so years I've only wanted 2 kids but this past weekend I saw this really adorable family with 4 little girls and I was like "ohhh that would be so cute!" I would probably die of exhaustion or go completely crazy if I had 4 kids though, I just don't think I'd be able to handle it, haha!

    I'm hoping that I stay close with my cousins and my kids can feel close to their 2nd cousins like I do.

    My parents love BF - my mom actually said last time he visited "there's nothing bad anyone can say about him" aww :)
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
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