I'm unofficially engaged!!

dismalgrin

I guess I think there probably is a time and place for 'unofficially engaged, but if my bf said it I'd probably be upset because I don't want unofficial I want real. With past relationships I've been in 'unofficially engaged' was just this thing the guy said to keep me around and not run off when he didn't really want the real thing. Now, I'm just taking it easy and planning as if he will actually put the ring on my finger, but if he doesn't there will always be someone else.

deburnin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:96da0514-d183-4594-ae7f-7da8a44a96a0">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I think there probably is a time and place for 'unofficially engaged, but <strong>if my bf said it I'd probably be upset because I don't want unofficial I want real</strong>. With past relationships I've been in 'unofficially engaged' was just this thing the guy said to keep me around and not run off when he didn't really want the real thing. Now, I'm just taking it easy and <strong>planning as if he will actually put the ring on my finger</strong>, but if he doesn't there will always be someone else.
Posted by dismalgrin[/QUOTE]

<div>Uh... But you have no issues with planning the wedding before the engagement is even official? <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/10/14470ea0-5a06-4899-9aaf-1d276d23ed7e.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '14470ea0-5a06-4899-9aaf-1d276d23ed7e', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/10/14470ea0-5a06-4899-9aaf-1d276d23ed7e.medium.gif" alt="" /></a></div>

GreenPepperBurger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:96da0514-d183-4594-ae7f-7da8a44a96a0">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I think there probably is a time and place for 'unofficially engaged, but if my bf said it I'd probably be upset because I don't want unofficial I want real. With past relationships I've been in 'unofficially engaged' was just this thing the guy said to keep me around and not run off when he didn't really want the real thing. Now, I'm just taking it easy and planning as if he will actually put the ring on my finger, but if he doesn't there will always be someone else.
Posted by dismalgrin[/QUOTE]

Why are you even planning if you're not engaged yet? "Planning like he will put the ring on your finger" is technically "unofficially engaged." You make my brain hurt.

Elle1036

Oooh I feel the need to clarify.  I don't have a problem with the term "unofficially engaged" when used in certain circumstances.  I'll use it here, on this board, and it's how BF's parents refer to us, but to the vast majority of poeple, we remain simply "in a relationship".

I mean, really, what makes some relationship labels more acceptable than others?  According to the law, you're either married or not, so all of the other interim terms mean as little as "unofficially engaged."  I guess I feel like "engaged" is kind of like "unofficially married".  

Wrkn925

BF and I celebrated our one-year of dating anniversary as one-year from our first date.
I felt gay doing that....

Wait, Hillary Duff says I can't say that.
I mean I felt stupid.
 
I've made it to 2 1/2 years of dating someone else, let's celebrate when we get past that point...

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:61dc4061-3251-4d13-8139-9122d70d98eb">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oooh I feel the need to clarify.  I don't have a problem with the term "unofficially engaged" when used in certain circumstances.  I'll use it here, on this board, and it's how BF's parents refer to us, but to the vast majority of poeple, we remain simply "in a relationship". I mean, really, what makes some relationship labels more acceptable than others?  According to the law, you're either married or not, so all of the other interim terms mean as little as "unofficially engaged." <strong> I guess I feel like "engaged" is kind of like "unofficially married".</strong>  
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

No, "engaged" is not "unofficially married" it's being in a relationship where you are literally intending and planning to be married. Marriage is very different from engagement in many ways.

"Unofficially engaged" just sounds like you want the label of "engaged" but you haven't had your big proposal yet. But you still want the idea of being "engaged". As PP said, it just sounds like you're trying to make your relationship sound more "official" and committed somehow.

You're either in a relationship, working towards a potential future together, or you're engaged where you have both decided that you will be getting married in the future and you are planning towards that. Engaged is simply a public way of sharing with others that you will be married.

oceana919

<div align="left"><div align="left"><div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:96da0514-d183-4594-ae7f-7da8a44a96a0">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I think there probably is a time and place for 'unofficially engaged, but if my bf said it I'd probably be upset because I don't want unofficial I want real. With past relationships I've been in 'unofficially engaged' was just this thing the guy said to keep me around and not run off when he didn't really want the real thing. Now, I'm just taking it easy and planning as if he will actually put the ring on my finger, but if he doesn't there will always be someone else.
Posted by dismalgrin[/QUOTE]

Soooooooo, essentially, you'll plan your wedding as if you are actually engaged, and if he doesn't end up proposing, you'll just find another guy that can fit into your pre-planned wedding puzzle?</div>
<div align="left">
I'm sorry, but I consider my FI pretty damn irreplaceable...</div></div></div>

musikbx

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:d1a03e36-e536-4daf-b665-ec3ee9c5db05">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]BF and I celebrated our one-year of dating anniversary as one-year from our first date.
<strong>I felt gay </strong>doing that....

<strong>Wait, Hillary Duff says I can't say that.
I mean I felt stupid. </strong> 

I've made it to 2 1/2 years of dating someone else, let's celebrate when we get past that point...
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

Yes, because the words "gay" and "stupid" are pretty much interchangeable.