Does He Drive Your Car?

bsidebella

I have completely checked out of work, so...

This has been the subject of many an arguement bewteen BF and I. I absolutely hate it when he drives my car, especially when I'm in the passenger's seat. It makes me uncomfortable to see someone else driving, but most of the time he insists on it because I have the better gas mileage and because he "hates" the way I drive (which, of course, I take offense to).

I am comfortable in my car. I spend a lot of time in it. It's small and I'm very short (under 5'), so everything is very specifically adjusted. BF is over a foot taller than me, and he readjusts everything, from the mirrors to the steering wheel. It takes me forever to put it back the way that's comfortable for me.

My mom once overheard us arguing and said, "What's the big deal? It's just a car!" I likened it to someone borrowing my underwear - it's just not the same once you know another person's been in it.

So - does BF/FI/FBD drive your car? Do you let him? How do you feel about it? Am I the only one who's crazy possessive of her car?

sapphirebaby926

DH drives my car all the time - he's uncomfortable when anyone else drives and I don't enjoy driving that much myself so I'm content to be a passenger.

But I feel you on having to always readjust my settings with my seat and rearview mirror everytime I go somewhere by myself.

jeanacorina

It took me a while to let DH drive my car. I have always been very possessive of it. It's the only thing I have that's just MINE.

However, a couple of things have changed that and now he does drive my car fairly often.

1) I put him on my car insurance policy when we got married. So, he's covered. I don't have to worry about that now.

2) We got married. So, even more than before, what's mine is his and what's his is mine. We both feel pretty strongly about that, even though I have always been possessive of "my things" I have slowly gotten over that with him.

3) He paid off my car. As you know, I haven't worked full-time in a couple of years. We just paid off my car last month. So, I mean... you know... I guess I kind of feel like "he" paid a big chunk of it, which makes it more "ours."

4) His air conditioning in his car is broken. In south Louisiana, that's a BIG deal in the summer (which lasts like 6 months). If we're both going somewhere in one car, he drives mine. I hate driving. I really, really HATE it and will try to get out of driving anytime I can. So, I let him drive, and it's gotta be my car because of the a/c.

HOWEVER, I am a back-seat (or passenger's-seat) driver. I am always butting in about which route to take and how fast he should go and when he should change lanes. I don't do that when we're in his car. Also, I nearly had a meltdown when he backed over a curb the other day, with not one tire... but TWO... scraping the underside of the car in the process. Why didn't he stop when the first tire went over the curb? I have NO IDEA.

He was really freaked out. So was I.

However, for the most part it's not terrible. He's slightly taller than me, but he leaves everything the way it is and I don't have to change the seat or mirrors back. He knows how picky I am.

catemeg

Oh, we argue over driving all the time.  We both hate the other person's driving style - I'm very cautious and tend to be defensive, whereas he's aggressive and high-tempered when driving.  I don't use the horn much except to alert people with a quick beep, but he'll use the horn as punishment for a good 5-10 seconds when he's annoyed with someone.  We have philosophical debates about the appropriate length of time for a honk - seriously!  He also will tell me how to get to places in our neighborhood... um, thanks, I live here, too!

His car is gross and has manual locks and windows and no skylight, plus he rarely has gas in it, so we often take my car.  I don't mind him driving my car vs. his car since he doesn't screw with my mirrors, just my seat.  But I hate being in the passenger seat with him driving in traffic, regardless of whose car we are using!

EDIT:  It also helps that we're on the same car insurance, so we're both equally covered to drive each other's car.  I never drive his because it's gross (smells like his gym clothes), and he only drives mine when I'm in the car.

ekathleen684

If he's driving, I'd rather take his truck but I do let him drive mine if it's the only one available and one of us have to drive. He doesn't pay for gas but I do so I'd rather use his since we both have similar trucks/gas mileage.

If I'm driving (which is rare), I'd rather drive mine since his veers to the left like no other and makes your arm sore after awhile.

He usually drives because I hate driving and he makes me uncomfortable when I'm driving.

I share my truck with my dad sometimes and we just keep it at the same setting, I don't know if he got used to mine or vice versa but it works. FI is very tall and just scoots the seat all the way back. He complains about how he never has to adjust it when he drives his parents cars  or they drive his (similar thing with my dad and I) but I get in his truck and f- it all up.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_drive-car?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d85ce775-66a0-4772-b2a6-8a1cc0910c0ePost:56d1d4d9-28df-475d-820b-496d0f13a17d">Re: Does He Drive Your Car?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, we argue over driving all the time.  We both hate the other person's driving style - <strong>I'm very cautious and tend to be defensive, whereas he's aggressive and high-tempered when driving.</strong>  I don't use the horn much except to alert people with a quick beep, but he'll use the horn as punishment for a good 5-10 seconds when he's annoyed with someone.  We have philosophical debates about the appropriate length of time for a honk - seriously!  <strong>He also will tell me how to get to places in our neighborhood... um, thanks, I live here, too!</strong>
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

UGH! SAME! I would rather not piss off anyone else on the road because people are crazy!

Last night BF and I got into a fight on our way to a friend's new apartment to help her paint. I insisted we follow the directions she gave us (her place is in the neighborhood of hers and my old stomping ground) but he insisted his GPS system was better because he trusted it. Oh really? You trust a computer and not two people who know <em>exactly where to go</em>?

[Deleted User]

We take my car whenever we go anywhere and usually take turns driving, just depends on how tired the other one is as to who drives.  We're about the same height, so no adjustments need to be made.  The only things I really don't like about him driving my car is he drives so blessed slow.  I thought I drove slow cause I usually don't go more than 5 over the speed limit (and get passed like I was sitting still), but he usually drives 5 under the speed limit, or slower (which brings us to how he managed to get a ticket going 15 over the speed limit - no radar, just a bored cop). He also pulls the parking brake up really tight - so tight that I have trouble taking the brake off when I get in it next - he insists it has to be that tight or it won't keep the car from rolling...hmm, I've never had a problem with it.

We definitely won't take his car much, at least for a while yet.  He just quit smoking in May, so it's still airing out.  It's getting better, but I still can't stand to be in it for long.

dwest2201

He drives my car at least once a week, usually when we all go together somewhere.  He has a truck with a backseat but the carseat is always in my sedan (we are going to get a booster once the little guy is 4 for his truck) and it's easier to buckle the little guy in there than climb up in the truck to do it.  When we don't have the little one and go somewhere 99.9% of the time we take his truck... he prefers to drive and his truck has about 80K less miles than my soon to be replaced car.   I drive his truck occasionally, usually only if we went somewhere in it and he had a few drinks or has a headache or something. 

ETA: We make adjustments to each others mirrors and the seat but neither of us are bothered by it enough to complain or argue about it.

katanne9

He drives my car and I drive his. He's kind of a backseat drivers sometimes, and he doesn't consistently drive standard enough to want to drive mine regularly. It was a bigger problem when he had his gas guzzling Jeep. Then he wanted to drive my car all the time, now it doesn't matter bc he got a new car.

catemeg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_drive-car?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d85ce775-66a0-4772-b2a6-8a1cc0910c0ePost:aea24d69-2346-48d4-aa2c-f86667576423">Re: Does He Drive Your Car?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does He Drive Your Car? : UGH! SAME! I would rather not piss off anyone else on the road because people are crazy!
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

That's how I feel, too!  I showed him this article that happened about 5 miles from our home a few weeks ago::

<a href="http://www.justnews.com/news/24505929/detail.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.justnews.com/news/24505929/detail.html</a>

And told him that it's stupid to play chicken with morons, or to honk at people like you're going to "teach them a lesson".  Even though they're in the wrong, it's better to let it go!  Especially around here, where everyone drives so aggressively and have explosive tempers (and lots of guns).

Narwhal

He drives my car sometimes.  I would drive his, but it's a manual and I haven't mastered it yet.

He does drive like a looney, though. and it drives me crazy.  I get especially upset about it when he's driving my car.  But we like to share gas expense so we alternate cars, and I hate driving, so it is what it is.

HE DROVE ON THE SIDEWALK YESTERDAY. ON PURPOSE.

PaigeMcC

FBD doesn't have his licence so nope.  He doesn't get to drive my car;)

desertsun

My H drives my car whenever we go somewhere together. Pretty much always, unless he's been drinking or there's a really good reason to take his truck.

It's MY car. I pay for it; it's in my name.

But it really doesn't bother me to have him drive it.

I'm lazy and like other people to drive. I'd rather re-adjust seats and mirrors than drive. And he likes to drive. So it works out.

We rarely back-seat drive each other.

But then again, we rarely argue, either. We're both just very laid back and easy going with each other. I always say I know he's right for me b/c he irritates me so much less than any other person I've ever met.

HobokensFury

I used to feel wierd about FI driving my car.  He now actually drives my car more than I do because he doesn't have his own car and we carpool to work now.

twinklemepink06

We both drive similarly so we both drive each others' cars. Whoever feels like driving usually does and takes whichever car has gas. The only thing either of us change is the seat position (only because he likes to stretch his legs out more than I do.) We disagree on horn usage sometimes, but I don't think its ever caused a fight.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_drive-car?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d85ce775-66a0-4772-b2a6-8a1cc0910c0ePost:1fdca44c-54d4-436d-8fdb-0dd56c72ba89">Re: Does He Drive Your Car?</a>:
[QUOTE]HE DROVE ON THE SIDEWALK YESTERDAY. ON PURPOSE.
Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

WTAF? What possessed him to do that?!

KatyRoseM

He drives my car sometimes, usually we just take his and I drive mine when he isn't going with me.  He adjusts things but I don't care, I always have to adjust things when I get in a car, I'm very short so its not a big deal. 

His driving sometimes freaks me out, as he is rather aggressive, and he doesn't like being a passenger.  Normally its not a big deal, but if we go to Chicago or somewhere with a lot of traffic it can be annoying. 

MidniteRae

I don't mind him driving my car. I hate driving. He'd rather drive his own car though.

breezerb

We NEVER drive each others car.

I drive an automatic and he drives a standard. I hate standards and he hates automatics. Problem solved.  We pretty much share the driving though, unless it's long distance then Matt usually drives.

BCRockies

When we're together, BF always drives. BF didn't have a license for the first few years of us dating so therefore, we either walked or I drove. Now that he has his license, he hates being the passenger.

We used to take my car everywhere as the truck can be very thirsty. But now I'm at my kilometer limit for my lease (knew this day was coming) and as there are still 6 months to go, it has turned into a commuter only. As BF owns his truck, we can put as many kilometers as we want just have to suck it up and pay for the gas.

BF and I are the same height and therefore, don't need to readjust much. We do prefer different seatings for the steering wheel though but this is an easy fix.

Penny66

I let him drive my car but I'm not a huge fan of it. 1. He tailgates I absolutely hate it!! I tell him all the time to watch it because you never know who is in front of you and how crazy they are. 2. I am 5' 2" and his is 6' 3" so when he drives my car I joke around and say that he puts my seat in the trunk.

jemmini6

He's driven my car once I think, because I drank too much.

About 95% of the time, if we go somewhere, we take his car because he likes it better.  Not that mine is crappy or that I don't want him to drive my car, but his is faster and is all wheel drive.  I also don't want to drive if I don't have to because I get really annoyed with other drivers.

His old car was a manual and I never learned to drive it, but his new car has one of those tiptronic transmissions.  I drove it once when we were driving out to San Diego for the weekend.  He was in Yuma for work (which is halfway to SD), so I drove his car from here to Yuma, then he drove from there.  Again, I don't want to drive if I don't have to and especially in an area that I don't know.  We work well with him being the pilot and me being the navigator (aka...programming the garmin)

zipis1

He'll drive it sometimes, but not often. He's not on my insurance so that's a big reason why. But also that car is my baby and if anything happened to it I'd go Hulk on him. If we're driving somewhere together in my car I almost always drive because he's not used to driving an SUV so I'm constantly worried he'll take a turn too hard or something.

He would let me drive his car if I was more familiar with stick. Still learning that one. But he doesn't like other people's driving so he would insist on driving most of the time.

aperitisa

I gave my car back to my parents and now I drive FI's car much more than he does.  He has a hard time because he likes his car REALLY neat, and I'm fine with a few water bottles that are half empty.  

meamolly

My Bf has been driving my car since i cant right now. I have noticed the longer I go not driving the more of a passenger seat driver i become. He never gets over for the people entering the interstate and rides the bumpers of the cars ahead of us. I am so regretting putting him on my insurance lol. no accidents for him yet but i can just see it coming lol
i also hate how he drives my car.I dont have a big engine in it and you have to coax it to go faster and cant just jamb on the gas and expect it to drive fast. He is constantly causing the engine to rev cause he wants to go fast faster than the car will let yah!

I MISS BEING ABLE TO DRIVE!

KD+BC

Usually which car we take is determined by who is driving. If FI is driving, we tend to take his car. I can't drive his car since he has a standard and I just can't do it. I've tried so many times and I fail.

He does drive my car from time to time and it doesn't bother me in the least. FI drives for a living (tractor trailer) and he's good at it but he also likes to take a break from driving when we're going places. I tend to drive much more frequently than him.

I like to take my car just incase since I can't drive his in an emergency.

meganyani

I totally get you. On weekends (the only time we drive together), we take my Santa Fe. He has a Camry but it has like 200,000 miles on it so even though mine gets worse mileage, it is in better shape.

 But it does get to me sometimes when we have to pick up his daughter at the campgrounds on weekends. It's a 45 minute drive each way and putting those miles on a car I just got in February makes me a little nutty.

Overall I trust him with it and he usually drives since he is the native and I'm new to the area.

fontassidy

I have a manual transmission and my FI doesn't know how to drive it, so that simplifies things a little! We take his car 99% of the time because A.) his employer pays for his gas and B.) I like to sing REAL loud while observing landscapes fly by out the window, and being a passenger is most conducive to this activity.

Oh, and FI is 6'8", so I'd want to kill him if I had to re-adjust everything to my height after he got out of the driver's seat. It annoys me when I have to do it to drive HIS car!

laceface89

My car basically is my FI's car. It is in his name, and he helps make payments. Heck, my old car is also from him, and I never paid all of it off... So, no it doesn't bother me. We almost always take mine, as it is newer than his with better AC and everything. The only time I drive is if I am playing DD and he has been drinking. Other then that, I am content to be a passenger!

Amanda+Adaam

This is funny that this is a post, because yesterday I was just thinking this haha. I HATE when he drives my car, because he drives like a psycho. I literally get tears in my eyes sometimes because I get so scared. But I would rather him take his own car if hes going to drive like that because I just got my car and I dont want him recking my car. Also when he drives like that we usually end up fighting because I yell at him for driving like a maniac and he tells me stop nagging at him etc. But I wouldnt mind if he drove my car if he drove like a normal human being. I guess I still get nervous because I like to be in control, but I just try and not think about it.

[Deleted User]

FI actually hates driving period.  And to be quite honest, I don't like when he drives either - he has a VERY short temper when driving and it just gets on my nerves, so typically when we go anywhere together, I drive.  At first this really bothered me because I always felt like the man should drive and always thought it looked funny when I seen a couple together and the woman was driving...but I think I'm getting used to it.  As far as him driving my car....I don't mind him driving it and his is well...a pretty shitty car and not running too well so anywhere we go we take my car.  And no, I don't mind if he drives it...