Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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full nuptial mass or not

We are meeting the priest next week. 
And there is a fair chance he will be lovely and let us get married. But we need to come to a decision about the wedding before we talk to him.
We are both catholic and come from very large families who are also catholic. Our issue is that most people we are related to will take communion. The only people who wont would be friends and a few cousins partners. So having a ful nuptial mass seems logical. Except this will be a large wedding and I really don't want the communion bit to take up more of the wedding than the actual wedding bit and don't want to make the other guests feel awkward but without it the other set of guests would be very put out.

We are both torn between asking for the full mass and not.

Any help?

Re: full nuptial mass or not

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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2012
    Usually, if both parties are Catholic, the priest will encourage the full mass.  My sister and her FI are not having a full mass, both are Catholic, but they are being married by the deacon at the church.  Also, do you know if you have any Eucharistic Ministers in your family?  I had a cousin of my dads, assist the priest during Communion at our wedding.  I also don't think you will need to make a final decision when you meet with your priest.  Tell him your concerns, he can help you to think out your decision.

    Also, there is a Catholic Wedding board here on TK.  It is listed under the Cultural Wedding Boards to the left.  The ladies there are very helpful and there are also links to websites to help you pick music and create programs, etc.

    ETA: fixed typo
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    Personally I'd say no full mass as most people don't want to sit through such a long ceremony.
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    I would always encourage a nuptial mass if both parties are Catholic. IMHO, the ceremony should be about what is meaningful and important to the bride and groom. The reception should be about being a gracious host/ess to your guests.

    Ditto PP who suggested joining us over on the Catholic weddings board -- we love new faces, and the ladies over there really know the faith!
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_full-nuptial-mass-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:e96c204f-a069-4d8f-aaeb-9c209820af30Post:be0b2235-4749-4827-ae24-91bb23ddbeeb">Re: full nuptial mass or not</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally I'd say no full mass as most people don't want to sit through such a long ceremony.
    Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

    I feel like that's incredibly selfish rationale on the part of the guest.   The ceremony is almost always the shortest portion of a couple's wedding day and it's the entire reason that guests are invited to the reception. 

    Aside from the ignorant statement, it's also rather false.   It does not take a long time to receive Communion at a wedding and removing it is one of the few things that make the difference between a Nuptial Mass and a wedding ceremony.

    Because you and your FI are both Catholic and your families are as well, I would have the full Nuptial Mass.
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    Don't not have a full mass just because you are afraid of the length of time for communion.  It will go by quickly just like every other aspect of your wedding day!

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    I attended a Catholic nuptial Masse in which the priest encouraged all in attendance to come up at Communion time. The priest gave a blessing to non- and inactive Catholics, while distributing Communion to practicing Catholics.

    Personally, I thought that this was very touching gesture.
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    Our neighbour's daughter had a full mass during her ceremony. Halfway through, she had to go wake up her father because his snoring was drowning out the priest. Not a happy sight. It was over hours and he had just finished an 18 hour long haul for work, but he was not the only one that fell asleep. Just the only one that started snoring.
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    In Response to Re:full nuptial mass or not:[QUOTE]Our neighbour's daughter had a full mass during her ceremony. Halfway through, she had to go wake up her father because his snoring was drowning out the priest. Not a happy sight. It was over hours and he had just finished an 18 hour long haul for work, but he was not the only one that fell asleep. Just the only one that started snoring. Posted by Sydney91[/QUOTE]

    That's unbelievably rude to do. I get being tired and hot in Mass. DH and I got married on a 100 degree day and the AC in church could hardly keep up. Falling asleep is really inexcusable unless there were medical issues.
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