Are Americans Becoming Prudes?

[Deleted User]

The other day BF and I were joking around in a parking lot outside of the car. He grabbed me, picked me up, spun me around and then gave me a big 'ol kiss. Another couple walking by (probably in their 40's) gave us the "how inappropriate" glare. I couldn't believe it! It's not like we were making out with our hands all over each other.

Anyway, it got me thinking about how often we chastise PDA. It's all over our movies and magazine covers...but heaven forbid we actually express real affection in public. Sometimes I feel like as Americans we are taking ourselves too seriously. I realize there can be too much on display...and I'm not down with people who just like to put on a performance...but what's wrong with a couple expressing how they feel about each other in public? I rather like that BF isn't afraid to show how he feels no matter who is around, and if it's nothing he would be ashamed to do in front of our parents...why should anyone else care?

Just curious how others on here feel...

purplepeopleeater11

I'd say yes and no.

In comparison to American history are we more prudish now?  Definitely not.  I mean, just look at entertainment now that is embraced by our culture versus entertainment in the 1950's.

In comparison to other advanced nations are we more prudish?  Oh yeah.

[Deleted User]

Purple - I agree with a lot of what you said, but don't you think there is a big difference between what we're willing to see in a movie and what we are willing to see on the street in real life? It seems like you don't see people complaining about raunchy scenes in movies very often...but you do hear "did you see that couple sitting across the dining room? geesh!"

Wrkn925

I think there's just an invisible line.

Last year, while Christmas shopping, I saw two teenagers sucking face on one of the couches outside a store.  I REALLY wanted to jerk them up and ask where their parents were.  This was automatically followed by the shocking revelation that I'm old.

As long as it's not too gropey, no tongue, I'm not going to bat an eyelash.  I prefer to keep most things behind closed doors, though. 

purplepeopleeater11

I do think that there are people that take their PDA to another level.  Like the couple sitting at the bar of a family restaurant I went to, he had his hands DOWN THE FRONT OF HER PANTS! 

Do I think people need to lighten up about little things like what you and your BF did, oh yeah.  But like Wrkn said there's that line, and everyone's is different.  So generalizing an entire country into a yes we are or no we aren't answer is difficult.

motoLyn

If that you get a glare from a random couple for that, I think  FI and I would get a disgusted look.  I  pinch and slap his butt in public.  I bite him sometimes too ( I know I'm weird, I chose to describe it as Odd).  In a matter people expect to see explicit scenes on TV and at the movies cause its fictional.  To see it in real life right there physically in front of a person is different.  But I also realize that as we get older our sense of what is ok in public changes.  I'm still in the camp that is ok with PDA as long as it doesn't boarder on NC-17. 

loves2shop4shoes

Everything purple said.

Although our society has developed in some ways, I feel like the older generations want to cling to their ideas of "decency" and hence they give the major side eye to PDA.

No worries, OP...their boobs will hit the ground first.

Elle1036

I don't do (or want to see) anything in public that I wouldn't do in front of my parents.  Hand-holding, hugs, a quick kiss... that's all fine.

Based on some of the PDA I see, even in my conservative city, I wouldn't think that Americans are necessarily become prudes.  But I do think that the couple who glared at you and your BF were prudes.

oceana919

Frankly, I think society's gone down the hill. I mean, look at what is "cool" or "trendy" on TV nowadays - Jersey Shore, dating shows with Brett Michaels and rap stars who hop from communal bedroom to communal bedroom, Miley Cyrus writhing around on a bed in her music video, etc. It seems to me like, more and more, people are being rewarded for being as trashy as possible.

I don't know, call me old fashioned, but I was raised that anything beyond a hug, kiss, or hand holding should be kept private. If I see a couple in line holding hands or giving each other a basic kiss, cool. Looking like they're recreating the pool scene from Species? Not so much.

AudgiePodge

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_americans-becoming-prudes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:dc1b2c1d-1c24-4506-96b2-1585882b7f60Post:95b2fb2f-e80d-4893-ae57-3588e79165c8">Re: Are Americans Becoming Prudes?</a>:
[QUOTE]Purple - I agree with a lot of what you said, but don't you think there is a big difference between what we're willing to see in a movie and what we are willing to see on the street in real life? It seems like you don't see people complaining about raunchy scenes in movies very often...but you do hear "did you see that couple sitting across the dining room? geesh!"
Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

I see what you're trying to say, but I picked out the movie with the raunch, so I have no problem when I see it. I don't want to see some couple while I'm out somewhere all over each other. Kisses are fine, long or short. Groping and tongues everywhere? No thanks. Especially when I have my 3 year old daughter with me. I'm am not shy in telling them that this is not the proper place.

Narwhal

I think society is going downhill when you feel the need to show excessive PDA.  People really can't wait until they're not in front of a bunch of people to jump each other? It isn't about being ashamed of your feelings for each other. There are a lot of more appropriate ways to show that you're in love.

sunshineboots

My bf loves affection and he was shocked when I was just as affectionate in public as he is. His previous girlfriend's weren't into PDA but I see nothing wrong with showing everyone that we are madly in love. I am not going to shove my tongue down his throat but I hold his hand, kiss him on the cheek and he loves to pick me up and spin me around.

When we drink around friends it's harder to control ourselves but I don't think that we ever made anyone uncomfortable.

I think that people from an older generation frown upon PDA, not because of the affection shown, but because of shows like teen mom and the divorce rate making them think that we treat human contact with less meaning than what they grew up knowing. They don't know if it's just a fling or the real deal.

tafft1

I don't think people are becoming prudes - I think everything has or wants  to be so PC nowadays it gets to the point where people can't do anything really. In our relationship there are things we have to conceal - and have our own ways of showing them and skirting the line - even so if my husband wants to kiss me passioinately and touch me why should he have to wait till we are at home ? He grabs my ass all the time , bites me , pinches me , among other things and for me it's as normal as just talking. It's not harming anyone - if there are kids around or it's more of a family area it is much more subtle and reserved for respect of the kids - but aren't we all adults here to some extent ?

I am much more liberal I suppose would be the best way to put it regarding PDA and other signs of affection and dynamics surrounding relationships. It is to each their own but if you don't like whats going on..ignore it. Unless it is directly affecting you..I don't see why people really care all that much. I think it sucks we have to censor ourselves as much as we do just because it might offend some random joe blow who might have a difference of opinion on how we should act.

There are about 2 days out of the year I can completely be myself to the public without fear of retort or various negative impacts from society even though I am doing nothing illegal nor does it concern anyone outside our personal relationship. The world would be a better place if we didn't have to cater to everyone else all the time.

zipis1

I don't think we're becoming prudes. We're definitely better than we've ever been. But I think Americans are prudes in comparison to other 1st world nations.

I'm personally not into a whole lotta PDA. Hugging, small kisses, hand holding, twirling around and such are all fine (and fun!), but having a make-out session in public makes me really uncomfortable. I'll let BF get away with a small amount of tongue sometime, but usually if he starts doing it I end it pretty quickly.