Just a Vent...

jacquiroxx

So there's a girl in every one of my classes this semester and we became friends in the first week of class.  She's really awesome and we have a lot in common.  I really like her and we really have a good time together.

But.

Lately (like since the beginning of October), she's been missing A LOT of class.  She keeps expecting me to send her notes and teach her how to do problems (one of our classes is an economics class) when she misses.  Since I have SO much time outside of class to do anything and especially love to spend that time going over things she should have been there to learn when I did.

I missed two classes in October when I traveled to PA for a long weekend for a close friend's wedding.  She took notes for me those TWO days and I told her I owed her back "big."  How big does that mean?  Maybe I should have been more specific.  There are some weeks that she only makes it to three CLASSES.  Really.  She'll come to one and skip out on the rest of the day/week.

She always has an excuse: (insertboyfriendsnameofTWOmonthshere) had a doctor appt and doesnt have a car so I had to take him; I pulled an all-nighter and needed sleep (uhhh we have the same classes, what did you need to pull an all-nighter for?), It was my turn to make dinner and I needed to go grocery shopping during our class, I'm soooo tired and really need a nap, etc etc etc

EXCUSE ME but I wake up for class at 5:30am (no car, have to take the bus), go to 5 hours of class, then go right to work for an 8-10 hour shift with no break.  After that, I do my homework and if I'm LUCKY I get 4-5 hours of sleep.

So I'm sorry if I don't care if you're tired.  Your parents pay for everything and it's really not my problem if you need a nap because you and (boyfriend) stayed up too late cuddling and watching movies.

Now she's talking about grad school and asking if I plan to go (I don't- not now anyway) and where because she wants to go to the same program as me.  Uhhhh no ma'am, earn your own stupid Master's degree!

We have classes together again next semester, but I'll be making it perfectly clear that this will not go down the same way then (I'm taking WAY too many hours next semster to worry about her grades too).

Sorry.  Vent over.  No advice needed- I just needed to get it out somewhere I knew no one would know her.  I know I need to tell her I'm not sending her notes anymore and blah blah blah, but the semester is just about over so what's the point

becunning2

You are the only person who can determine whether you let people take advantage of you.  If you don't like it, you're the person who has to stop it.

I would've cracked by now, but I'm super impatient!

mana8503

Yup I had one of these in college... I just told her this is the last time I'm helping and she should have been in class, no excuses.  Then made sure I didn't have classes with her the next semester.

loopy82

I see you acknowlege that you need to stop sending her notes. I agree. She is in college and needs to be responsible for her actions.

AudgiePodge

I agree with Loopy. Give her notes for two classes worth, the same she did for you.

bettyshaw

Is your school small, or are you in your last year or so of classes? I can't imagine having all the same classes with someone, or even more than one!

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_just-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:dc61c035-576f-4f55-99e7-e1b6e74a31ffPost:8035f0e4-f5a1-40ca-911a-58996595a91f">Re: Just a Vent...</a>:
[QUOTE]Is your school small, or are you in your last year or so of classes? I can't imagine having all the same classes with someone, or even more than one!
Posted by bettyshaw[/QUOTE]

My school is huuuuuuge, but by the time you're in second year (and I'm in third) it's very common to have the same people in some classes just because people start to specialize within their program. And I'm in the biggest faculty too.

So in a smaller faculty or program, it would make sense.

jemmini6

I had literally every class with literally the same people for the whole last two years of my degree.  We all became pretty good friends, but you could tell the slackers who just tried to 'feed' off of everyone else.  When one person wouldn't give them nots, they'd ask someone else until word got around that they were just lazy and didn't want to come to class.  We all stopped giving these certain people notes.

It's one thing to miss a class here and there for legitimate reasons, but even some of my best friends throughout all of college, I wouldn't have given them notes if they missed a class because 'they had to go grocery shopping'.

She is being selfish and she needs to learn that she can't get through school (or life) counting on other people to do her work for her.

chaiteachick

I was that girl in college. I think she might be having some issues outside of school.... do you know anything about her other than classes, etc?

She might do well by herself if she takes some time off of school, since she clearly can't deal with it right now.

I'm not saying I know that something is going on, but it seems like she is going through what I went through in college.... I REALLY didn't need to be there, what with everything else that was going on.

Just playing devil's advocate--BUT you are right!!!!!

Good luck with this mess.