The surprise is spoiled... trying to make the best of it anyway!

puipuni

So my SO blurted out yesterday that he is going to propose to me on February 23rd (which is our 3 year anniversary). I don't think he is trying to throw me off (he seemed very genuine and he is a terrible actor! lol)

Now, we have recently chosen the e-ring together and have discussed marriage a lot so I knew it was coming... however I am kind of disappointed that there will be no element of surprise at all. It's one thing to expect a proposal, it's another to know the exact date it's going to occur.

Never the less, I am trying to think positively about this and just roll with how things turned out. My only real disappointment is that now I feel like I am already engaged... but without a ring and I'm not allowed to go look at wedding dresses or tell anyone yet, lol!

What are some pros to knowing exactly when you are going to be proposed to? 

catemeg

That's a lot of time between now and then - he might decide he can't wait (especially if he was too excited to keep the secret).  Don't be so sure he isn't bluffing, or that things won't change.  And how he does it will be a surprise.

Honestly, from everything I understand, it will be a truly special moment no matter how it happens.  Whether you expect it or not, whether it's creative or simple, it will be the moment that he asks you to spend the rest of your life with him.  And it will be the moment that you agree.  That's all you need to make it special!

deburnin

Even though he gave you a date, there will still be some surprise because 1.) you won't know when it's coming during that day, he has 24 hours to choose from! and 2.) you don't know how he's going to propose. And as Cate said, he could totally change his mind on the date between now and then!

puipuni

[QUOTE]Whether you expect it or not, whether it's creative or simple, it will be the moment that he asks you to spend the rest of your life with him.  And it will be the moment that you agree.  That's all you need to make it special!
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]
Thanks, that really cheered me up :)

ekathleen684

I guess a pro would be that you can get ready (like, get your nails done) and look however you "dream" you would look when he proposes (if thats your thing)

Just keep in mind, you don't know when exactly (am/pm), where he is going to do it, or how he's going to do it. I think the majority of the surpise is still there for you.

GL

KatyRoseM

He might not be able to wait.  Fi wanted to propose at Disney in March, but couldn't wait until the end of the day (in January).  So you never know, he might just not be able to wait.

PaigeMcC

I think you'll still be surprised.;)

[Deleted User]

You'll definitely be surprised, even if you do know the date.  My FI had me completely convinced we wouldn't be getting engaged for a few months, but had planned it with my parents and a few friends for 3 weeks before he proposed.  Maybe he's a better actor than you think.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_surprise-spoiled-trying-of-anyway?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:dcd4d483-3b71-4f3a-8c48-f4afb8dbcd19Post:72d556c3-8ef1-4716-badc-f33aa0daa20f">The surprise is spoiled... trying to make the best of it anyway!</a>:
[QUOTE]So my SO blurted out yesterday that he is going to propose to me on February 23rd (which is our 3 year anniversary). I don't think he is trying to throw me off (he seemed very genuine and he is a terrible actor! lol) Now, we have recently chosen the e-ring together and have discussed marriage a lot so I knew it was coming... however I am kind of disappointed that there will be no element of surprise at all. It's one thing to expect a proposal, it's another to know the  exact date  it's going to occur. Never the less, I am trying to think positively about this and just roll with how things turned out. My only real disappointment is that now I feel like I am already engaged... but without a ring and I'm not allowed to go look at wedding dresses or tell anyone yet, lol! What are some pros to knowing exactly when you are going to be proposed to? 
Posted by puipuni[/QUOTE]

You know, you're allowed to tell him you'd rather be surprised.

And, you CAN be engaged without a ring and start planning now if you like.

But if would rather wait to consider yourself engaged, then my advice is to wait until then to start your planning. It's definitely okay to bookmark some things or cut out pictures you like, but save the actual planning for the actual engagement. So that you WILL feel engaged when you actually ARE.

Narwhal

My BF told me that it will be in November.  He went from saying "sometime in the next year" to "sometime this fall" to "when it starts getting cool" to "November."

I didn't want to know the month, but I'm okay with it because there are a lot of days in that month.  Now I'm working on not flipping out once November does come and trying to overanalyze and possibly be disappointed if he was tricking me.

I feel ya.

HobokensFury

Is my mind playing tricks on me or did you post this same thing on 2 boards?  Anyway I responed to you on the other board.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_size-stone-should-e-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:6224327a-caf8-4d96-b41e-b1999b0bcae1Post:b55ef642-7b45-41a9-854c-c6d16bd4b34e">What size stone should I get for my e-ring?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey everyone!   <strong> My fiance and I recently became engaged. He proposed without a ring</strong> so that we could choose our engagement ring together.   I want a very classic tiffany-style solitaire.    For ethical and economical reasons, we have decided to go with an enhanced Moissanite gem instead of a diamond. Because we are choosing moissanite, price is not so much an issue (well, to an extent of course!)   I want a stone size that is big enough to wow people, yet small enough that it's believable and not too gaudy. My ring size is 5.   What size stone would you suggest?   Also, Does anyone have any photos of different carat sizes on a size 5 finger for reference?   Thank you!
Posted by puipuni[/QUOTE]

It would appear you've already been proposed to?
So...do you consider yourself engaged or not? Just curious. You can call yourself whatever you like. But please be consistent. It can come across as deceptive if you're not.

puipuni

Sorry! I'm not trying to be deceptive! I don't consider myself officially engaged... it just kinda "feels" like we're engaged already since all the plans to get engaged are all out in the open and decided upon. It's just not 100% official. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.

desertsun

No, it's totally fine to determine for yourself what constitutes engaged. I'm just letting you know that it would be a good idea to get it straight in your head as soon as possible so you're not confusing people on the boards.

For example, in the post from the other board that I quoted, you say you've already been proposed to. But here, you say the proposal is happening in February.

 I don't know why you'd be proposed to twice. You can have a discussion and agree you want to be married, and then have a proposal, if that's what you mean?

But it's hard to give advice that's genuinely helpful if we don't know the reality of your situation.

I think that you either are or are not engaged. There is no "official" or "unofficial."
Many people on the boards agree with this, b/c it's too confusing otherwise.

So just please clarify so that we can give you the best possible support and advice!

SassyBrass

I agree with what catemeg said. Even if you know it's happening, it's still a very special time.
I knew mine was coming. It wasn't like he'd told me or anything, he's just not great at hiding things. But still, we had a great night, and it actually kept my head clear enough to remember what he said as he proposed. The ring was a surprise though.
I agree I wouldn't want to know that far in advance, but do take from it that he wants to spend his life with you, and he's thinking about the way he's going to ask you.

tander1

When I got engaged I had cracked the secret about a week prior to the event. Early in the day I saw the ring box in his pocket so I totally knew it was coming that day...I was still surprised and it was all perfect. I dont regret knowing at all because that is just how our relationship is. I knew that he would not be able to keep the secret. Enjoy it. It will still be perfect for you.