Destination Wedding?

jillargiris

The BF and I were talking this past weekend about where we see our wedding taking place.  There are really only two options that came up:  Chicago or San Diego. 

We're both from & live in Chicago, yet most of our family and friends have moved out to the Southwest area (Phoenix & San Diego).  I have a few relatives and some friends here that would probably travel for the wedding and others that may not. 

We agreed that we both want to have a small, intimate wedding during a time where the weather is nice (sunny & 70's), so I did some searching on the internet on how to go about planning a DW in San Diego.  I found maybe one helpful article on what the planning entails and I've looked at the DW Q&A, along with the DW site through weddingchannel.com, but I'm still a bit confused.

Are you supposed to get a wedding coordinator that specializes in DW.  All the sites I found were companies trying to sell their DW coordinator services and didn't really offer that much advice.  Is it necessary to get a wedding coordinator?

I'm just trying to weigh our options to see what this all entails, so we can figure out a budget for when we do get engaged. 

Has anyone done the DW thing?  If so, how did you plan it?

I know if we had it in Chicago it would be more people and probably more expensive, yet it seems easier since we are both here.  Yet, our ultimate choice would be by the ocean in sunny San Diego. 

Any insight would be great!

alyzzle11

In "wedding theme boards" there's a whole board dedicated to DW, I'm sure they'd have some great answers for you there.

bakes218

We are doing a destination wedding in December. I have done most of the planning on my own. All I have really needed to do is find  a venue, photographer and someone to marry us. The event coordinator at the venue does not really have much to do either because we aren't having a reception, just a dinner with our parents.

You can probably do a lot on your own depending on how many people you are having. We are having 7 people, including us so it makes things really simple. I planned it in 1 week and we are getting married in like 4 months.

The event coordinator provided a vendor list of people in the area and that really helped.

Ana_2985

You do not need a wedding coordinator.  If you want one and can afford it, great.  I'm sure they are very helpful.  But you don't need one.  I'm getting married outside the US and I didn't hire a coordinator.  You can do pretty much everything over the internet.  Most vendors have website with email and phone contact information.

Don't worry it about it yet.  Wait until you're engaged.  Enjoy dating for now so that when you ARE engaged you'll still have all the excitement of trying to figure out when/where/how you're going to get married.

hetshup

I am unintentionally planning a DW wedding. You need someone on the ground where the wedding is, they can act as your point person. I would recommend getting your dress where you are, and then carrying it on the plane. Make sure you can ship stuff to the point person if you are planning any DYI at all.

desertsun

You can plan a DW by yourself. You can check out the local boards here on the knot, but I found several of my vendors by checking out reviews on weddingwire.com.

But, I'll reiterate Ana's advice.

WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE ENGAGED. Trust us. We've been where you are. We're not just making this up or saying it to be mean. WAIT.

jillargiris

Thanks for the input.  I feel like I need to be "there" to make sure everything goes fine.  I guess that's part of my personality  I know we'd have to plan at least one trip there before we got married, but it doesn't seem like one would be enough.  I don't know how couples have their DW in another country!  I give you all props for going that route.

I'll continue to search around and talk more with the BF to get his input, although, he is more of a "go with the flow" type of guy.

katanne9

Ditto Ana and Desert. Don't borrow trouble. Wait until you're engaged.

But to answer your questions: No, you do not need a wedding coordinator.

I planned my wedding from long distance, as did several other girls on the board. It's fine but it takes a lot of persistance to get your vendors to communicate effectively. Just be prepared for lots of emails, phone calls and Google searching.

hetshup

Oh and when dealing with the costs, don't forget to budget in trips back to be on site.

But until then, enjoy your relationship. Seriously, you don't get this time back.

tafft1

I just got married in Tahoe last month and live about 3 hours away - and it IS possible to do it all remotely as it were. I did  alot of research online , looked up Yelp reviews , even got recommendations from wedding sites , etc. There is a plethora of information out there for the taking - you don't necessarily NEED a coordinator unless it would make you feel better in my opinion.

We did make one trip up to Tahoe to do a cake tasting , meet with our officiant , have dinner at our reception restaurant and see the venue site , but that was not necessarily needed - hubby wanted to do something for my birthday so we killed 2 nirds with one stone. It can be intimidating but take it one thing at a time and breathe - it has a way of working out

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e06c3b37-99a2-4a62-b3c8-8ee5d52a5a23Post:ced28136-6eca-4e8b-9df2-c4b97c3c277c">Re: Destination Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the input.  I feel like I need to be "there" to make sure everything goes fine.  I guess that's part of my personality   I know we'd have to plan at least one trip there before we got married, but it doesn't seem like one would be enough.  I don't know how couples have their DW in another country!  I give you all props for going that route. <strong>I'll continue to search around and talk more with the BF to get his input, although, he is more of a "go with the flow" type of guy</strong>.
Posted by jillargiris[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's right, continue to make plans and completely ignore the advice to wait. Brilliant idea.

</div>

Hazel_B

I agree with Katanne, don't borrow trouble.

Early on I realized this. A wedding with my BF would be some combination of a wedding an 8 hour drive away and a renewal of vows/reception an 9+ hour flight away.

You know what I do, I don't think about it. I'll address those issues when I have to and thankfully, in many ways, that isn't today.

jillargiris

Thanks for all the constructive advice.  I was just soliciting feedback on DWs, but thanks for the input everyone.

jeanacorina

Before DH and I got married, we thought for sure we'd have a destination wedding. Once we got engaged, sorted our budget, and talked to our families (who are from all over the country), we figured out that a destination wedding wouldn't work for us.

Budget has a LOT to do with it.

You don't need to worry about this until you're engaged.

That said, many venues have a built-in coordinator. Mine did. She was awesome and didn't cost extra. Some venues don't have that, some do and the coordinator sucks. You just don't know what you need until you get knee-deep in planning. What is "necessary" changes from bride to bride.

It's good that you and your boyfriend have talked about your options a little. You're on the same page, you're both open to the same things. Save the research for the engagement.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e06c3b37-99a2-4a62-b3c8-8ee5d52a5a23Post:fbfbbc00-72e9-41f9-bfe9-22caa7e23990">Re: Destination Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just got married in Tahoe last month and live about 3 hours away - and it IS possible to do it all remotely as it were. I did  alot of research online , looked up Yelp reviews , even got recommendations from wedding sites , etc. There is a plethora of information out there for the taking - you don't necessarily NEED a coordinator unless it would make you feel better in my opinion. We did make one trip up to Tahoe to do a cake tasting , meet with our officiant , have dinner at our reception restaurant and see the venue site , but that was not necessarily needed - hubby wanted to do something for my birthday so we killed 2 <span style="font-weight:bold;">nirds</span> with one stone. It can be intimidating but take it one thing at a time and breathe - it has a way of working out :)
Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]

Is this a rare new breed of animal?  or a cross between a bird and a nerd?  I'm intrigued!   Hehe ;)

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e06c3b37-99a2-4a62-b3c8-8ee5d52a5a23Post:8db6b428-63ca-4af7-b0ba-506ee6f3682f">Re: Destination Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Destination Wedding? : Is this a rare new breed of animal?  or a cross between a bird and a nerd?  I'm intrigued!   Hehe ;)
Posted by dwest2201[/QUOTE]

Thats what I get for not spellchecking lol ;)